An/ I really wanted to get this out. As I wanted some more background on these pair. The prologue gave a little away about the history of Jax and Tara but I wanted to get out about the night she left and what built her up to it. Hopefully it will help make sense of some of the scenes due to come in 'I will guide you home and try fix you'. So here it is the night Tara left Charming and how she and Jax were feeling.
Author – Soa-Samcro
Pairing – Jax and Tara
Point of view – Jax/Tara
Rate – M
songs – Puddle of Mudd – Blurry
**WARNING** contains abusive behaviour.
IWGYHATFY- Outtake one
TheNightEverythingChanged
Tara's-pov
I inhaled deeply frowning seeing the flashing lights on the floor from the police car, I felt my breath hitch as the police office grabbed my hands cuffing them behind my back his hand pushing down on my back causing the new tattoo I had done a week ago to burn I hissed out.
"Miss Knowles this is becoming a usual thing" he chuckled causing me to roll my eye's.
I looked up seeing Jax smirking to himself as he was pushed down on the Cruiser next to me , I glared back at him , the anger in me slither how he could find any humour in this situation.
"usual things kids got to ring your folks" office douche as I took to call him smirked , I seen him over Jax shoulder winking to me as he chuckled "mind you with your drunk daddy is there any point" he smirked.
I looked down ashamed as I tried to keep the tear from falling from my eyes I herd jax's mutter something to him , but I wasn't upset over his comment more ashamed since what he said was only the truth.
My drunken father couldn't give a shit what or who I was doing as long as I wasn't in his hair , or his house as he had put it numerous times. Man called himself a father, he was anything butt. Gemma practically brought me up.
My mum had up skittles and left when I was five apparently not able to cope with her husband's boozy ways instead of being a mother and taking me with her she left me with that piece of shit.
I hissed as the office dragged me up , my eyes catching Jax as we was both thrown in the back of one of the car's the other most likely going to collect Gemma.
We all knew there was no point in them even going by my house , if he wasn't already passed out on the floor he would be in no state to collect me and if he was , well shit would just be ten times more.
"You alright" I herd Jax ask next to me
I hadn't looked at him since we got in the car my head turning to him as I locked eyes with him.
"What do you think" I snapped , sighing seeing his face fall. "I'm just tired of this shit Jax" I sighed as the douche bag started to go on with himself.
"You know you both being sixteen now , you can both be trailed, recorded imagine how hard that will be getting a job" he chuckled
I rolled my eyes trying to refuse to take his bate.
"no leaving little old charming then is there Doc" he smirked taunting me , I looked up glaring seeing his lips turn into a smooth smirk as he blew a bubble at me laughing "shame you have the hands for it" he winked pointing the handcuffs holding my hands together.
Something in me snapped as I screamed out "eat shit dickhead" I seen the smirk leave his lips straight away as the officer next to him who I hadn't seen before burst out in a chuckle , I looked up to Jax seeing the shock on his face at my outburst.
"hit a nerve have I … We all know the truth Tara you have this big dream of leaving this place , being the big Doctor or what ever it is you thing you can become, but you aren't , you have a daddy who don't give a shit , a mum who left you and a boyfriend who thinks riding a Harley is a job and causing trouble is fun your going no were lovely face it" he smirked , I herd Jax open his mouth and start kicking off but I tuned them all out , as the dick head's words was floating through my mind.
Did people really think that of me
Was I really that predictable , I knew that people thought my dream of being a doctor was pathetic but the words he just spat at me seemed so harsh yet so real.
I finally looked up seeing Jax looking down and the douche glaring at us through his mirror, I sighed as I seen the station ahead off us and Gemma stood out side on the step , she didn't look nearly as pissed off as I thought she would but considering this had been the fourth time this month we'd been in the back of this car I guess she was used to the late night calls.
After the usual bullshit and being read the right act, they let us go after Gemma's disapproving looks and Jax attempting to build bridges I left realising it was late, Gemma offered for me to stay but I was still mad at Jax and he knew I was.
He kissed me goodnight with promises we'd do something and talk properly tomorrow. I sighed as he dropped me off outside my house.
I walked into the house staring ahead as I seen the television lights flashing 'fuck' I muttered to myself he was still awake.
"what time do you call this" he hissed at me , I kept my eyes down avoiding looking at him , since when I looked him in the eyes I knew what was coming but still tried to avoid it.
"look at me when I speak to you , you piece of shit" I sighed looking up closing my eyes praying to all shit that was out there that could possible help me.
I felt the first blow hit me and winced but managed to stay up right. The second how ever wasn't. I felt his fist hit my cheek and winced as the force pushed me back.
I sobbed as I curled into myself closing my eye's as I felt his foot kick my rib and his slurred voice call me names a father should never call there child.
I sobbed and attempted to breath through my nose as I finally felt darkness over take me as he continued his attack.
Jax's – Pov
The door bell rang giving me an excuse to avoid the bullshit my mum was going to spur at me for my nights actions – again – her shit was getting old and I'd told her so, only for her husband to get all up in my face telling me to respect her. I was about to butt the fucker before the door bell rung.
Shame right.
As I opened the door I frowned seeing Tara looking down
I knew as soon as she sat down with me , she was more pissed than ever.
I tried I really did to find the situation from her view, but it wasn't like we was actual arrested, just picked up.
I get why she was upset , they'd told her if it happened again she would get a record , and that was something that would ruin the carer choice she wanted in life.
I knew all this but she was making it out as if I didn't give a shit. When I did , but I mean were only sixteen
I walked forward to her lifting her chin , and I swear as soon as I did my heart came out my fucking chest "ill kill him" I hissed shouting my mum over my shoulder.
Tara winced as I wrapped my arm's around her , making me sigh moving my hands so they wasn't touching her but she was still near me. "I swear Tara one of these day's imp going to fucking murder him baby" I sighed as she leaned her head into my neck and sobbed.
My mum walked out looking at me as if she wondered what the fuck was going on until Tara lifted her head and I herd her gasp, shit was bad we'd seen Tara a mess before because of that shit head of a father of hers but this was fucked, her face and hair was matted in blood.
She was a fucking state "baby" my mum whispered coming and cupping Tara's face.
"Come on ill get you cleaned up" my mum said , taking Tara inside, I stayed at the door breathing in deeply needing to get my anger under control.
I wanted to murder him. I wanted to wrap my hands around his fucking neck and squeeze.
Who the fuck does he think he is.
I walked in seeing clay raise his eyebrow and shake his head , as if he knew my thought's I rolled my eyes my silent 'mind your fucking business old man' reply.
I looked up seeing my mum and Tara coming back down the stairs.
My mum kissed my forehead and frowned shaking her head to Clay as if asking him not to get involved something in her eye's made me think she had been crying.
I frowned looking at her before she smiled almost sadly towards Tara "be safe baby" she whispered before hugging her.
I frowned watching them both having an uneven feeling. I was about to hate what was going to happen.
"I'm sorry" Tara whispered to me "I have to" she said grabbing my hand holding it in hers.
"I have to go" she said. I shook my head from side to side , almost begging my voice to speak but knowing I couldn't , not with out crying.
"please" I managed to whisper out.
"Look at me Jax , look at what I'm becoming I need to go , I love you but I need to love myself more" she sighed. Causing me to nod.
I looked to my mum and seen her shake her head. Her voice in my head telling me I needed to do this for Tara. I needed to let her go.
I sighed pulling her to me hugging her tight , feeling her hug me back just as tight as I kissed her neck feeling her sob against me "I love you to always have, always will" I sighed.
I watched as she got in the car , feeling my eyes water , I knew why she was doing it , and I knew she had to but fuck I felt like dragging her from the car and shaking her.
I love her she knows I love her , and I know she loves me , but this makes it as if everything the last sixteen fucking years , all the memories we have , was all for nothing.
I looked down , not being able to look back up until I herd the engine roar , I seen the car pull out the drive and ran , I seen her stopping for me , and I suddenly realised I didn't know what to say.
I walked into the window , and leaned down as she looked at me , I knew I couldn't ask her to stay just like shed told me she couldn't ask me to leave.
"Promise me you're come back , one day … five , ten fuck fifteen years from now , just promise me you will come back" I begged I just needed to know that sometime in my future she would be back again.
"I promise" she whispered looking into my eyes before she leaned up kissing me , causing me to close my eyes , I opened them just in time to see a tear drop from her right eye before the car started moving and she sped away from me.
An / If you like this check out the story 'I will guide you home and try fix you' if your already reading that let me know if this gave you some background into the pair. – I'm thinking of doing a few more once Iwgyhatfy is more on its way , of them separately and how the last ten years have really been for them both, and maybe about the other character's , let me know.
Leave me love …. Or hate .
-also I know a lot of people have issues with the abuse , and I total agree that its shocking but this stuff happens in real life , and I wanted there to be another excuse for why Tara left for so long. I can't give to much away as it will be revealed in 'Iwgyhatfy' but I think after people have read the prologue of that and will piece together that Tara only came back when her father had died. It will play a part in the story. But only as a reason, yes Tara left because of club sucking the life she wanted away from her, but she left to protect her dad as well. She hated him for what he did to her, but she knew if she stayed it would be long till Jax did something to him for him beating Tara.
