There is a natural order to things; life, death, and Castiel wonders if he is a part of it now. Angel's are not under Death's jurisdiction, but humans are. So Castiel wonders if an angel turned almost-human turned angel falls into that category. If he died tomorrow and someone, not his Father, brought him back, would he disrupt that order? Would others have to die for things to get back on track?
Castiel watches the Winchesters and marvels at their bond; each would rather die than see the other dead, a factor of their relationship that thoroughly confuses Castiel. Yet, hasn't Castiel given his life for the cause? For Dean, really. Multiple times.
This is all a silly train of thought, of course. Castiel watches Dean half-heartedly punch his brother in the arm. Castiel has no disillusions. Were he to die tomorrow, he knows no one would bring him back. Profound bond or not.
