RE EDITED AND REWRITE FOR THE ENDING !
First, I'm not, I repeat, I'm NOT a Konan hater. I hate Karin, yes. But not if she is paired with Suigetsu. No one else. I love and like Konan, but I just can't find another fitted female character to fill Konan's character in this story. I'm truly sorry. Flamers accepted. And if it's too cliché, or too much drama, I'm sorry too. I'm still a beginner and still have a lot of lessons to learn to become a great writer.
Thanks to ItaSaku1 for beta-ing this story. God guys, I'll never know what I'll do without her amazing skill as a beta and her motivating comment :3
And I know,I know. . . I should write the next chapter of Trouble For Me, just read the end of this story! On with the story
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I take in liquor which I don't even know how to handle trying to fill my empty heart. A day without you is too long. I pray that I may please forget you
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I was sitting on a comfy sofa in a private room at Sasuke's Club alone. I've been here for what? 4 hours? Possibly 5? I'm already super drunk and I know it as I sip more liquor and other strong alcoholic beverages, but it's the only way to subside this pain in my chest, right on my heart everyday. My chest always constricted painfully at the mention of her name. Haruno Sakura. My beautiful angel who stole my heart at the first sight. The woman who broke my heart and threw it to the deep cold ocean. The woman who took my heart with her when she left me behind. The only woman who could make me, the heir and prodigy of the cold Uchiha Clan, in a deep agony and misery, like a vampire without its mate and blood, like a human without its will to live, like the moon that can't shine without the sun. And it all happened because of my own stupid and fatal mistake. It was a very big mistake to mee ther that afternoon, it was a stupid action to take care of her, and I'm a truly idiot for falling into her sweet trap. She made me slowly but surely to lose the hold of Sakura, my fiancée, my lover, my angel. And it all began because of that cursed afternoon...
... And it all ended that damned night.
Shall we hear the sad story of a broken hearted and devastated Uchiha heir, yes? Oh, by the way let me introduce myself to you. For your information, Uchiha Sasuke, my baby brother is the CEO of my father's company, Uchiha Corporation, while I'm the CEO of my own Company, the Mangekyo Corporation and also Vice CEO of Uchiha Corporation. I was engaged in a relationship with a beautiful Angel, named after a cherry blossom in Japan, Sakura. Haruno Sakura. The apprentice of the famous and most skilled doctor in the world and already surpassed her, Tsunade. Who has now gone missing. My name is Uchiha Itachi. And this is my story…..
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Without you happiness cannot be found in me. I can't even shed any tears. I don't want to live anymore.
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As I said before, it's started that afternoon. I was in my office, signing a mountain height of paperwork and a proposal when I received a call from an unknown number. At first, I ignored it. But, it kept ringing twice in a row so then I picked it up. I was expecting a squealing voice from my fan girl, but to my surprise, it was a soft and all too familiar voice. Konan. My ex-girlfriend. I met her when I was still in a group company named Akatsuki. At first, I didn't love her. But slowly but sure, I started to have a crush with her. And after some dates, we were officially dating. But I broke up with her right after I built Mangekyo Corporation. We were on a good break up back then. She understood that we were too different and we couldn't be more than best friends. And not too long after, I heard that she was dating the Akatsuki's leader, Pein. I was happy for her, that she was able to find a better man. My last meeting with her was 4 years ago. 6 years after our break up and 2 years of my relationship with my beloved Sakura, on a party the Hyuuga's made. Sakura already knew about my history with Konan, yet she seemed okay with it. She easily chatted with Konan and be friended her. But after that party, I completely lost contact with her. The only friends I still make contacts with are Kisame, Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, and sometimes Pein. But mostly it's just Kisame, Deidara, and Sasori. They also resigned from Akatsuki and now work under my wings. Back to Konan, she asked me to meet her in a café near the middle town. She said that she has something important to tell me, and being the gentleman I was, I complied to her request, since it's also near lunch break. I didn't bother to text Sakura, she was still on her shift until 2 o'clock then she'll be on her lunch break. I drove my way to the café and arrived around 12 PM. Konan was already waiting for me on the corner of the café. I made my way to her table and saw a blueberry ice tea and an iced caramel Frappuccino on her table. Ready to drink. She seemed to remember my first now second most favorite drink, iced caramel Frappuccino, right under any drink related to strawberry, thanks to Sakura. I quickly sat across her.
"What do you want talk with me about?" I said straight forward to the point. My eyes stared at her eyes. She seemed .. Paler than I remembered, her eyes kind of dulled, and she seemed thinner.
"You're always straight forward to the point, huh, Itachi-kun? " she teasingly said. Her hand played with the straw on her blueberry iced tea. I didn't respond to her rhetorical question. It's unnecessary and all I have to do was intensify my stare on her.
"Okay. No more games. To be honest, as you can see, I'm sick. I'm sure you have realized this with my appearance." And she's right I do realized it.
"I just... want to ask your support. I really need it to go through the medication. I can't think anyone else but you Itachi. I don't think i can go through it without you." she continued.
"What is your sickness?" I had asked her.
"Leukemia. I'm still searching for a donor."
"How about Pein? Isn't he your fiancé?" I suspiciously asked, because, really, why in the seven hell does she ask me to support her when she has her own lover?
"He.. I'm in a hopeless relationship with him. He changed. He's really focused on his work. He doesn't pay attention to me anymore. I feel like a mere collection to him. He doesn't care about my sickness as well. That's why I need you Itachi. I-I can't ..." she trailed off. Tears streaming out from her eyes. She hid her face with her hands, and tried to control her own emotion. I was stunned. Leukemia? She seemed always healthy to me. But for her to have that kind of sickness is kind of.. Unbelievable. I was rendered speechless. What should I do?
"Konan, let me think about this. I have to tell Sakura about this too. Especially because you still have a relationship with Pein."
"H-hai. Arigatou, Itachi."
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I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
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After the meeting with Konan, I had talked with Sakura. She said she was okay with it.
"Leukemia is a dangerous disease Itachi-kun. Not to mention very painful. Support her, Itachi-kun."
"Can't you be her doctor, Sakura?"
"I can't. A leukemia patient needs a doctor who specializes in leukemia. And I'm not a leukemia doctor Itachi-kun."
"I see. But, are you sure Sakura? Giving Konan my support may reduce our time together. Not to mention sometimes I will need to accompany her until late night. You need to understand this Sakura. I don't want you to think that I'm neglecting you or something like that." I seriously said.
"I understand Itachi-kun. But I can't be selfish now, can I?" she smiled softly to me.
I didn't realize that her approval would crack our love.
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Even if I know that the days
when you were by my side making my world shine
won't come back again,
and no matter what will happen,
no matter how far I'm lost,
I never ever want to forget that my heart has chosen to love you.
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So, the day that I supported Konan started. I started to go to the hospital for her check up every weekend, holding her hands when she was taking chemotherapy, comforting her when the medicine started to react, which made her body in pain. Most often I would fall asleep beside her in her room at the hospital. But, the consequences were worse than I had ever thought. Konan started to plague my mind much more than Sakura. Instead of calling or texting Sakura to ask had she eaten or what was she doing, I texted and called Konan. I began to rarely spend my time at my house, but I often spend it in the hospital. And, to my horror later,I didn't realize it.
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If I was given one more chance,
I would tell you once again
that I love you.
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Days and months passed in a blur for me. It had already been a full year of taking care of Konan and a cold December greeted me when I realized it. Something wrong kept nagging behind my head and an alarm kept ringing from the time I started to spend my time more at the hospital. But I ignored it. And that was also my most fatal mistake ever in my life. I never ignored my instinct, especially when it rang for months. Just if I had paid more attention to my inner alarm, that night might not have happened and I would not have lost Sakura
Now.. I'm sure all of you want to skip the detail and straight forward to what happened that night, don't you? Well, I'll tell you. It was 23th of December, when Konan was discharged from the Hospital. She was already healthy, her Leukemia had already gone. But she still needed someone to watch her, so I decided to take her to my house, since I have many empty bed rooms. It was 9 PM when we already finished the décor in Konan's room and put her things on her bed room. At the same time, the front door creaked open and I could see that that Sakura was already home. When she locked her eyes with me, her sour and tired face turned really happy and glowed. She practically run up the stairs and jumped to me and at the same time she hugged me tightly. "I missed you, Itachi." she whispered in my chest. I returned her hug and sniffed her hair. Strawberry and Cream, my favorite. "Why did you not tell me that you'd be back tonight?" she pouted at me. "At least I can cook you something and I can go back earlier." she sighed. I smiled at her pouting face. It's really cute. And suddenly I felt like I really missed her and I haven't seen her for months. "Sakura.." I purred on her ear and sensually bite her ear. She moaned above me. My hands started to wander under her blouse when someone cleared her throat, snapping us back to reality.
"Ko-Konan?" Sakura said surprised.
"Sakura." she greeted back. Something was wrong with the way she looked to Sakura. It seemed like she hated and envied Sakura. My fault for ignoring the facts too. So, I told Sakura about Konan staying with me and her. In the second that I told her, Sakura's face fell. She was obviously upset. At first, I thought she was just upset because she couldn't have the house for her own, but now, I know the real reason. Stupid of me. Hell, even Sakura didn't give her opinion that time.
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I'm still holding those memories, whether it's autumn, winter, or spring
For eternity, you are my heaven
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It was the month of April, I was in my office again. Signing, checking, reading all of the paperwork that was on on my desk. I don't know why, but Kakashi, a.k.a my secretary, gave me a sky high amount of paperwork. He was angry with me. But at the time I didn't know why. Back to the office, I was signing a proposal when my office door bursts open and revealed to me an angry vixen of mine, Haruno Sakura. Back then, I was annoyed by the nagging Sakura had made to me since Konan had been discharged from the hospital. And it's already been 3 months of her nagging. And it's annoying me to no end. I mean, she keeps asking me to leave Konan, etc. But remember, back then, I didn't realize that I ignored Sakura. That I started to have a relationship with Konan and ignored Sakura. That I started to cheat behind Sakura's back with Konan. I have slept with Konan, and even kissed her countless time. But, to my stupidity, I didn't count it as cheating. It felt so right to me to kiss and fuck Konan when I was still in a relationship with Sakura. After all I can't lose Sakura. Never. But then why did I cheat on her? I don't even have the answer myself.
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I hum the "love song"…I want to touch your smiling face
Even though I know that there's someone you're gazing at
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Sakura stop from her walk and stared at the photo picture on the small wood drawer in front of her. She put her suitcases down, took the picture and her small long hand softly examined the two teenager faces on it. Nostalgic and a longing look was clear on her sad swollen face. It was a picture of herself and a tall raven-haired male on a cruise; She was wearing a white summer dress, while her lover was hugging her from behind. Arms were circling her protectively and lovingly around her slender waist. Behind them, the sky was already in the shade of sweet orange as the photo was taken. A tear fell on to her cheeks as she tried her hardest to not cry. Her heart quenched painfully against her chest at the reminder of her ex-lover. But it had to be done this way. Before it all becomes too painful to her. Before he can make her dreams go further up and crash down. Or maybe it's already too late. He already did it. He already broke her heart. And it's too much to bear. It's too much. She fell onto her knees as she sobs uncontrollably. She tightly held the photo in her hold. Close to her heart. As if asking the man on the photo to hear out her breaking and falling heart. To hear her cries of agony. To be here, and hold her closely, make her warm with his love. She's expecting him to be here, to ask and beg her to not go away, for not leaving him, apologize to her, do anything to make her stay. But no, the reality was different with her dream. He's not here to beg her. He's not here to hold her tightly and ask her to not leave him. He's not here to prevent her from going. He. . really didn't love her anymore. He already got a new lady. He might be showing his affection to her at the moment. The thought of Itachi holding and loving another woman make her heart breaking more painfully. It's still clear as a water of what he said to her. Of the painful words that came out from his mouth. The same mouth who always said that he loved her. The same mouth which has kissed her for affection, for showing her that he's here, for telling her that she's his and he's hers.
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Why? Why are you leaving?
Why? Why are you tossing me away?
If you were going to be like this
Why did you love me in the first place?
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Flashback start
"Damn it Itachi! I've been trying to hold this whole time! But why, why can't you just leave her, Itachi!" a pink haired girl yelled at the man in front of her. Fury and frowns were visible on her tear streaked face. The man in question also had the same anger and fury in his face.
"And I've told you too many times to, .ra, that she's only my friend! Didn't you agree it by yourself that you'll be okay if I spend some time with her?" he retorted back in the same high tone.
"But it was one year ago, Itachi! She's fine now Itachi ! She's not sick anymore! But why you have to take care of her until now? Why?" she screamed as more tears fell to her flushed cheeks
"She doesn't have anyone again Sakura! Can't you just leave her out of our problem!"
"Fuck it Itachi! She's the main problem that's making us like this, Itachi! Don't you see that you love me, Itachi ! I can't keep living with her if you love me Itachi! She's the bitch who stole you from me!" Sakura screamed. A slap echoed in his office. Head turned to the left, Sakura's right cheek sting and swollen red from the slap.
"Don't you dare bad mouth her, Sakura. The problem is you. She has no involvement here. If you can't stand living with her, then just go. Go away from my mansion." Itachi spat coldly. More tears break out from her eyes.
"Fine then, Itachi. You've made it clear about your feelings for me. I'm just a fool to think otherwise. Good day, Uchiha-san." Her bangs hid her face as she turned around and ran away from his office.
Flashback end
He didn't even chase me after that. She though sadly. She wiped away her tears and got up. She quickly took her suitcases again and walked quickly to the door. Walked away from the room that held so many memories. Walked away from the mansion. Walked away from his life. Forever.
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I'll forget you so you can live better
Goodbye
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"So, how's he, Sasuke?", a blue-ish bulky man asked a young raven-haired man who was sitting across him at the cafe that afternoon. Their black business attires spoke of wealth with elegance and style. Silence filled the atmosphere as Kisame awaited Sasuke to answer his question. Sasuke's face was blank as usual, but his eyes betrayed him completely. His tired looking eyes changed completely into troubled eyes. Pain and concern were evident like reading a book under the sun. It was like a seeing a normal looking man turned into someone who was reminded his family's dead.
"He.. He's been miserable. I think he's starting to.. lose it, Kisame-san."
"What do you mean, Sasuke ? You don't really mean that he started to lose his-"
"I do mean it. Aniki has started to lose his sanity. Bit by a bit. He started to lose his hope, his dream, and his will to live. He rarely eats, sleep, or does any activity. I keep catching him staring emptily as he sits on his bed, or when I keep seeing him holding a razor in his hand, but when I blink he doesn't hold it. But sometimes, I can see thin scars on his hand. Especially after the last phone call from one of his detectives."
"Another dead end?"
"Yes. It's been 7 months and there's already been many dead ends on Sakura's whereabouts. God, if we can't find her quickly, I think we'll have to secure any sharp object out of his reach." Sasuke admitted mournfully.
"Damn. . My men also can't find any trace of her." Kisame added. He was, also afraid for his best friend's state now. Both of the adult male sat quietly for a while.
"How about the other? Maybe Deidara-san or Sasori-san?"
"Na-dah. Same with me. Sasori and even Pein already sent out their men too. It should be more easier to find her for Pein, since he was a powerful mafia leader. But it seems it's a bit useless now." Kisame replied dully. "How about your friend? Especially Sakura's girl friends? Did they agree to help Itachi find Sakura ?"
"At first, no. but after I showed them Itachi's state, they eventually agreed. And, Kisame-san, I'm here to tell you that.. that Itachi asked all of you to stop searching for her." Sasuke turned his head.
"What? How could he ask it?"
"As I said, at the beginning, he started to believe that it's better to let go of her. I think he's been hiding something important from me, which made him decide to stop chasing after her. "
"But it's still suspicious for Itachi to give up. Sasuke? Can I see him? The guard won't let me come in. I'll try to make him talk." Kisame asked.
"Aa. They were told by Itachi to not let anyone come in except for me and.. Sakura. And please. Help him. I'm afraid that he'll really kill himself if he's really stopped searching for Sakura. It also means that he's given up on his life." Sasuke bitterly told him.
"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go."
Kisame POV
About thirty minutes later, we arrived at the mansion. Sasuke quickly got out from the car and went inside, I followed him. We went to Itachi's room first, but he was not there. Sasuke then led me to a beautiful bedroom, and it clicked in my mind, whose bedroom this was. It was painted with soft cream paint. Many photos of Itachi and her were hanging on the wall. In the corner of her room, I can see pile of gifts in many sizes. This room smelled so feminine and fresh. Like a strawberry with cream. I looked around more. And my eyes caught a glistening object on the nightstand. A wet razor. God, Sasuke said the truth about the razor thing.
"Kisame-san. He's down there." Sasuke pointed to the balcony. I was confused. He's down there? I walked to the balcony and what I saw was shocking me. Beside the balcony, there was a small stair that lead into a rather big garden, with a koi pond and a cherry blossom tree on it. Itachi was sitting on the traditional gazebo near the cherry blossoms tree, which was blooming beautifully. It was summer after all. His untied hair was dancing softly with the wind, as more of the cherry blossoms fell. I hesitantly went down. I slowly walked to make sure he won't know that I'm here, but…
"Hello, Kisame. Why on earth are you here?" Itachi said as he kept staring on the cherry blossoms.
"Itachi." I greeted him.
"Why don't you join me here? Sit next to me." He turned around and pat the empty seat beside him. When I saw his face, I'm almost scared shitless. His face was pale, very pale that you would've thought that he was a walking corpse. He's also so skinny, unlike the Itachi I knew. The lines beside his nose was deeper and longer. His eyes clearly spoke of a defeated king. His arms were covered with his clothes. It's a rare occurrence when you are able to see Itachi wearing long sleeves in his house. Which means, he wears it with a meaning. His voice was raspy, like he's been crying and hasn't eaten or drunk for the past days. I hesitantly sat beside him
"Itachi, what happened to you? Have you eaten?" I asked concerned.
"Hey, Kisame. Did you know that Sakura was pregnant when I slapped her? When I indirectly told her that I didn't love her and told her to leave the mansion?" he calmly asked me as he ignored my question. I was surprised. She was pregnant?
"Sakura was pregnant? How did you know, Itachi?"
"I found the lab's result under her pillow. Kisame, am I that sinned? To be punished this way by God?" Itachi calmly asked me again. "She already knew it, Kisame. That I was cheating behind her back with Konan. But why, why did she still stand beside me? Why did she not leave me at the first chance she got? Why after the fight? Then when I looked into her belongings in the room. I found it. Her diary. She practically explained why, Kisame. It said that she promised that she'll never leave me except if I'm the one who pushes her away."
"Itachi.."
" You know.. I wonder, Is Sakura keeping our baby now ? After every sins i made ? Or did she aborted it because she was disgusted by me ? If she keep it, am i will ever see the blood and flesh we made together?" itachi's voice cracekd a little. I can't answer him , because honestly, i don't know what i should say.
"You know Kisame, when I first met Konan, the alarm bells in my head were already ringing loudly, but I ignored it. When Konan started to plague my mind, my heart already screamed to go after Sakura faster. When I slept with Konan, vaguely, I can feel my heart breaking into pieces. But I tried to ignore it. Until we had that fatal fight, I realized it was too late. It was already happening before I could comprehend it. It was already one day too late, when I realized that I slapped Sakura. That I didn't chase after her like I should have. I felt like an idiot back then. You know, I only realized it when I came back to the mansion to find out that her clothes in my wardrobe were gone. Every single last one of them. When I went to the bathroom, I couldn't find her bath necessities, when I ran to her supposed bedroom, I couldn't find any of her bags, or anything. It was empty. And I only found her engagement ring in the trash near the door. When I called you guys to help me, part of me realized that it was too late. "Itachi raised his right hand to the air." I've always imagined that this is only a nightmare. That when I wake up later, she will be here, beside me, under my wings. Comforting me from the nightmare. But-" his hand went down. "It's not a nightmare. This is not a nightmare. This is a reality. I can't see her face again. I can't see her smile again. I can't see her eyes again, I can't smell her sweet scent. I can't feel her heat that which warms up my cold body, Kisame. I'm lost to this world. I can't do anything. I can't think properly. It feels like my heart has had a brain freeze. I want her to know that I still love her before I go." He trailed off. I didn't realize what he meant with "before I go", I didn't realize that blood has wetted his left sleeves.
"Kisame, did you know? That this hand," he showed me his left hand "was the same hand that slapped her? Did you know, that I hate this hand so much? Did you know how much pain I endure in my chest every time I see myself in the mirror? Because every time I see myself, I always remember her painful and betrayed expression." Then a red liquid had dropped to the air from his left sleeve as he stood up and slowly walked. The red liquid started to drop faster. Then I realized something amiss. The surrounding around me smelt like blood. Blood! I quickly rushed to his side, and on the perfect timing, he fell into my hold.
"Itachi! Itachi! Open your eyes, open your eyes damn it ! Do you want to die or something Itachi! Why have you cut yourself!" I panicked. That's why the razor on the nightstand looked newly cleaned with water. "Fuck!"
"You know Kisame. I always imagined that she'll come back and forgive me. We'll start a new life, with our baby. I'll wake up and meet her smile everyday. Guess I've ran out of my luck to make it happen. Beside, dream will always be a dream." He whispered hoarsely.
"Don't talk anymore Itachi. Save your energy. Don't you want to see Sakura and make it happen? And why are you cutting yourself damnit!" I keep encouraging him as I took him upstairs and ran to the car. Sasuke already saw me holding Itachi and he's preparing the car and calling Tsunade.
"Nah.. She already hates me. And why? It's clear, Kisame. I don't want to live again. It's meaningless without her with me. And I'm the one who pushed her too. Just let me die, Kisame. Please put an end to my misery." He trailed off. His body grew colder and colder with each second that passed. Fuck!
"Hang on Itachi! We're almost to the hospital!" Sasuke screamed. He like me was also panicking.
"A-arigatou…" he whispered softly. His eyes started to drop down.
"ITACHI!"
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Now i realized that i need you.
I gave you scars.
I should have never let you go to waste.
I'm so sorry but i love you.
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While on the other side of the Earth, a woman with long pink hair stood on the sea shore, facing the sunset. A small tear escape her green orb, as she rubbed her quite big stomach lovingly. The smooth voice of sea wave soothed her as the salty air filled her nostrils. In her house, a TV was turned on, streaming the news.
"The CEO of Mangekyo Corporation, fell sick and now is in the Konoha Hospital. It was suspected that he committed suicide by our resources. We still don't know the truth and how his condition is, but - "
CLICK!
It has not been finished !
But I have to post this first, to know what you think, since I think it's no good…
I'm sorry if it's OOC and a bit confusing..
Give me your review, opinion, criticism, etc~ I really need to know what I should do..
December, 24th 2011
Yeah, as it was mentioned, It's not finished yet. But I hate the ending in here, and I change it a bit. I put it on complete since I can leave it this way, until I can post the 2nd chapter. I'm in no mood for anguish atmosphere.. So yeah.. R&R
