Soft, familiar pressure pinned her limbs to the wall; she grinned at Kaidan as he glowed a faint blue. "Now that's just not fair."
"Didn't know 'fair' was an option, Commander." The wicked glint in his eye stole her breath.
"C'mon, we need to get going. The mess is going to start filling up soon."
He stepped closer and cupped her face. Just before his lips captured hers, he murmured, "Just a moment." By the time he stepped back, Kaelia couldn't think straight. The heart-melting wink he threw her way probably didn't help either. Before she could react, he released her from his biotic hold and slipped out the cabin door.
l====l
A good half hour after Kaidan snuck off, Shepard finally had the composure to go back into "Commander Mode." She squared her shoulders and headed to the mess. She grabbed a cup of coffee, downed a breakfast ration bar, and descended to the head of the ship to check on Joker. Kaidan gave her a surreptitious wink from his station, forcing her to take a sip of coffee to hide the smile. Joker knew, of course; they both trusted him to not rat them out. He and Garrus were the only ones they really trusted. Both their careers were much too important to risk over fraternization. She could always drop the Alliance and go full-time Spectre, but the thought of that was enough to upset her stomach. She loved Kaidan, but for years the Alliance was all she had. Dropping them like a bad habit didn't sit well with her.
"So, Commander, more Geth?" Joker's tone echoed how all three soldiers on the deck felt about that. They knew this was a waste of time, but they didn't have any proof. What else could they do?
She sighed. "You know it. Full ramming speed ahead, or something. Not like there'll be anything…we've been searching for four days." Shepard plunked into the chair next to Joker.
The pilot spared a brief second to give her a side glance. "Might not want to sit down, then. We'll be there in ten minutes."
A dirty look was shot to her crippled friend and pilot before she groaned and stood up. He just grinned in response.
Kaidan couldn't help asking. "What's wrong, Commander?" She had to hold back a smile: he was so bad at masking his feelings. If either of them ever got stuck in an official interrogation about fraternizing together, they were doomed.
"Could've told me before I sat down, Joker. C'mon, Alenko. You're going in, too."
"Aye aye, ma'am."
l====l
Shepard was always fast at getting suited up. She clunked out of the captain's quarters and looked around for Garrus before heading to the elevator. He was coming on this one, too. Tali was exceptionally intelligent and very eager to fight the Geth, but the Quarian was just too young to take on a potentially dangerous ground mission. She needed a bit more experience before being allowed to go down with them.
Just as the door to the elevator opened, she heard Joker's voice – unusually panicked – boom over the ship's com system. "Brace for evasive maneuvers!" He never yells… She was thrown into the elevator as the ship banked hard to starboard and shuddered. The tearing of metal easily reached her, followed shortly by the smell of smoke. What the…
She broke into a dead run for the stairs, but paused when she realized the tearing had come from behind. She turned and ran around the elevator to see fire and debris. "Damn it!" Her voice rose above the chaos, yelling to the com mic she knew was nearby. "Joker! Patch me through." The speakers beeped as they were switched to her. "Everyone to the evacuation shuttles, now." A blast rocked them again, cutting her off."We're not taking any chances, everyone abandon ship! Shepard out."
Her helmet was quietly placed on her head. The last thing people needed was their commanding officer to panic. She'd get out of this, they all would; they always did. Setting up the distress beacon was calming, calculating. Her fingers flew across the touch pad as she calibrated it. Just as Kaelia finally got her nerves back into cool control, fumbling steps ran up behind her and paused. The only voice that had the potential to unravel her spoke, concerned but calm. "Shepard!"
A finger rose to quiet him as she commed into the bridge. "Distress beacon ready for launch." Now she turned to look at him; he still didn't have his helmet on. Damn it all if he didn't look great in this lighting, too. Before she could think further, he yanked on his own helmet.
"Will the Alliance get here in time?"
How the hell would she know? They better. She shook her head and reached to stabilize him when another blast knocked both of them fairly well off their feet. "I'm not doing this so they can find our frozen corpses. Help get everyone onto the evac shuttles."
She grabbed a fire extinguisher and tossed it to him before finding a second for herself. They began to try and contain the fire that sprung up around them. His voice cut through the noise. "Joker's still in the cockpit; he won't abandon ship." He turned to touch her arm with a hand. "I'm not leaving, either."
Dammit, Kaidan. She threw her extinguisher to the corner as it stopped working, opting to turn and grab his to keep him from staying with her. "I need you to get the crew to the escape shuttles. I'll take care of Joker." His extinguisher found a home next to hers as it was tossed to the side. She started toward the stairs.
"Commander…"
Shepard turned her back to the stairwell. Their eyes met – through the helmets or not, the connection was clear. This was exactly why fraternization was so looked down on; this was exactly what they were afraid of happening. The thought of being torn apart was heartbreaking, but they were both officers on a military ship. They had to do what was right for the crew, or neither of them belonged on this ship. She had to pull rank on him. Deep breath in, sigh out. "Kaidan, go…" He didn't move. "I gave you an order, Lieutenant."
He winced…cringed, even. His training kicked in and he did obey the order, but not before brushing his hand down her arm with an "Aye, aye."
No time to feel, only time to think. Go, Kaelia; go. She shook her head and whipped around to run up the stairs. The door at the top finally opened, and a whoosh of air being sucked into the vacuum of space pulled her out of the ship. Her eyes widened as she stared at what should have been the Normandy's ceiling. It was gone. The ship that was attacking them – she could see it, organic and twisted – had completely destroyed the main deck. Her legs couldn't move fast enough without gravity, each lumbering step taking an eternity to float forward. She could see the bridge from here, just had to make it there.
Gravity and air hit her like a brick when she entered the small remaining field of atmosphere Joker had left for himself. Legs that felt like lead moments ago over responded to her mental commands, throwing her into the back of pilot's chair. "Come on, Joker; we have to abandon ship."
"No! I won't abandon the Normandy. I can still save her!"
Before she could argue with her friend further, a new voice cut her off. "The Normandy's lost! Going down with the ship won't change that, Joker."
Kaidan. She stood up and stared right at him. Her damn Lieutenant had disobeyed direct orders to make sure she was safe. Now was not the time to lecture him, though…the ship was going down around the three of them. Thankfully, Joker seemed ready to go.
"All right. Help me up." The two marines quickly did just that, despite his protests about watching his arm as they pulled the pilot to the shuttle. She stepped one foot inside, gently tossing him to his seat. Just as she turned to reach for Kaidan, the groan of metal being ripped apart and a bright flash blew them apart. Shepard hit the other side of the escape shuttle hard, dazing her; but that didn't matter. She scrambled to the door, only to run into it as it shut in front of her.
Everything happened in slow motion. She could see Kaidan, floating through the sparks. His hand pulled away from the shuttle's release; it hit her that he had pushed the button to save her. But that meant…
No!
Kaelia pounded against the door with all her strength. In a rare display of sheer panic, she screamed his name, watching helplessly as they drifted away from the ship. Another blast from the unidentified vessel burst through, effectively tossing their pod away. Her eyes were glued to the remains of the Normandy, searching for a figure. He had to live. He had to, he had to. Damn it. Damn it, Kaidan. Maybe they'll go away now that I'm gone and– All her hopes were crushed in a single explosion. The ship's core was finally hit and the Alliance warship bloomed into a spectacular shower of scrap metal.
No…
Her legs gave way and she clunked down into a heap of armor. She had just watched the one man she ever actually loved die. Tears wouldn't come. Thoughts wouldn't form. All she could do was stare into nothing and force herself to not feel.
