I clicked off my phone and turned away from where I knew she was standing, trying to mask my anger.
How could she do this to me? How could she not trust me? How could she treat me like a… like a burden? Annie Walker, of all people?
We were going home. God, I didn't usually hate that word. Then again, I didn't usually go home a loser.
"I see a cab stand ahead," she said rather softly. I had to strain my ears over all the noise on the streets.
"I can't believe you're pulling the rip cord," I said, ignoring her comment. She was immediately defensive.
"That was Joan's call, not mine."
"Because you put it in her head. You don't have to band with her." Why is she not listening?
"We are out numbered and out flanked!" she exclaimed, but I sensed a slight tremor in her voice. She had to know that I knew that was crap.
"Since day one you have been bucking Joan's authority like it is a source of pride and now all of a sudden you salute and fall in mock step." I paused as realization dawned. "It's because of me, isn't it? You think I'm some kind of a burden."
"I do not think you're a burden," she replied, almost too quickly.
"Then why did you come back up the stairs to help me?"
"Because you were down."
"You should've gone for the package. That was the mission; to get the package home, not to help me." I was metaphorically seeing red. "I don't want to go back to the way things were. I don't want to get stuck behind my desk. I want to go forward with my life, across the board, but I don't have a Lena in my corner. My only champion is Joan. If I disappoint her—"
"You won't disappoint her, she wants us to follow orders," Annie quickly reassured me.
"Oh, c'mon Annie. She wants a win." I paused. "So do I."
"God, Auggie," Annie spat out. Suddenly her hands were on my chest and she shoved me away. I teetered on the edge of falling on my rear. "You think you're the only one who wants things they can't have? Huh? You think you're the only one in pain here?" she asked hotly. "Well guess what August Anderson. You're not." She took a deep breath. "Did it ever occur to you," she continued while I was still struggling to keep my balance, "that I came back to help you because I needed to know that you were okay? Because I couldn't go on if something had happened to you? Because for once in my life, something mattered more to me than the mission?" She let out a frustrated sigh. "God, Auggie… I never thought you were so blind."
She turned on her heel and walked away, and left me wondering what it all meant.
