Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or any of its' characters. This is for enjoyment purposes.
A/N: This is my first time writing a fic, so I hope you all enjoy it. Criticism is welcome! Thank you!
The Doctor should not have felt pleased. The reality bomb was not a good sign – it symbolized bad things to come. Nevertheless, instead of solving the immediate threat from the Daleks, he decided to see her in person after all of these years. Her sheer memory was not enough to satiate his desire to see her.
"Rose…" the Doctor muttered anxiously to himself. He all but ran to the TARDIS, pushed the wooden doors in haste, and rushed inside. The Doctor began pulling levers and pushing buttons on the TARDIS' console in a blur. He was not even thinking about the process, all he could think about was Rose.
The TARDIS buckled, spun, and whirred before it came to a standstill. Despite the instinct to run out the doors and see Rose, the Doctor froze. For the first time in a while, he worried about what he would say. He wondered why he was even here at all. He was happy with River, Amy, and Rory – the closest thing he has had to a family in hundreds of years. However, he made the snap decision to see someone from his past. Of all the people the Doctor could visit, Rose came to his mind first.
"I suppose a quick chat wouldn't hurt," he concluded suddenly, making up his mind.
Walking out of the TARDIS, the Doctor took in his surroundings. He had landed in the perfect place in Rose's dimension – behind an old, abandoned building, a few blocks from where Rose was. She would not be able to see the TARDIS, especially on such a sullen, overcast day.
Up ahead was a quaint park, with lush greenery and park benches. Realizing he was about to speak to Rose Tyler in a few moments, he went into a sort of panic.
He began to doubt his decision to come here. This whole thing was rather selfish of him, really, since she was probably content in her life with his 10th regeneration's Ganger.
He collapsed into the nearest bench, overwhelmed with thoughts and possible scenarios. He realized he was being quite ridiculous, for he was not going to properly introduce himself. The Doctor's eleventh regeneration from a few years back would disguise his appearance to Rose.
The Doctor sighed loudly, and was about to get up and leave, anyway, when someone interrupted him.
"Excuse me, sir? I couldn't help but notice there was something wrong."
"Oh, um really, it's nothing, but thank y-"
He had to fight every impulse to jump up or make a noise of surprise. From the bench behind him, Rose had heard his exasperated sigh, and asked him what was wrong.
When he saw her worried face, feelings of sorrow, guilt, and love returned in a rush – feelings he thought he got over a while ago. The Doctor forgot how breathtakingly beautiful she was.
"I'm sorry, I was just deep in thought," he responded to her confused reaction.
"Thank you," he continued, "I'm fine. Lovely, really."
"Oh, well, I'm glad."
Rose shifted from looking at him to her hands. The Doctor could not stop looking at Rose. He could not believe it was her, right before his eyes.
To the unobservant passerby, her façade would display that she was just lost in thought. But, the Doctor could see right through that. Sadness was etched on her face – not the upset kind, no, it was the type of sadness that was long-term. The kind of sadness that never truly goes away.
Interrupting Rose's thoughts, he said, "Thank you, though, I really appreciate asking if I was okay. I'm John, by the way."
She grinned. He missed that smile.
"It's no problem, John. And I'm Rose. Rose Tyler," she offered back.
The normality of this conversation pained him. Especially how he was talking to his Rose Tyler, and she had no idea who he was.
"Mind if I sit on your side of the bench? Looks like you could use some company."
Not waiting for a response, the Doctor changed benches regardless. He was too nervous; his hearts were beating so fast.
"So! Rose Tyler. It's my turn to ask - what's troubling you?"
She looked up into his kind, inquisitive face, thinking about his question.
"How could you tell?" she wondered. He just smiled in response.
"No one really asks me that anymore," Rose replied, "but since you are the first person to ask, I'll tell you."
"Go on," the Doctor said with a laugh.
"I come to this park to think, you know. It's my favorite place. I get so lost in thought here. I mainly think about my past to be honest. The things that were, they were great. This one person…" she trailed off. A look of utter misery swept across her delicate features.
"Well, he changed my life completely. I was this normal person, y'know? With a job, a house…then everything changed. He crashed into my life, literally. I sometimes think about my old life, how safe it was. I wonder if I regretted my life with him. But then, I realized my life was nothing before that. It was a tiny speck of unimportance in the world's history. My only regret is letting it all slip through my fingers," she finished with a solemn shake of her head.
Then, Rose remembered she was telling a stranger she met moments ago her deepest insecurities.
Blushing, she apologized, "I'm sorry for telling you all this, I've just been holding it in for so long. You're really easy to talk to."
"I get that a lot," he smirked, "but you have nothing to be sorry about, I don't mind hearing about this. As long as I can help."
Rose chuckled, running her fingers through her hair, and leaning back on the bench.
"So," she sighed, "John. Tell me a bit about yourself."
"There's not much to know about me," he laughed. He forgot how easy it was to be with Rose.
"Come on, tell me something! I just bared my inner secrets, and I don't know much about you."
"There's not much to know about me. I travel a bit. Usually alone. But that's all."
"I used to travel quite a lot," Rose interjected, as if just remembering.
"Oh, really? Where have you been?" the Doctor said, curious to see what her response was.
"Everywhere. You wouldn't believe the things I've done, John, the things I've seen. They were once in a lifetime chances." She got quiet all of a sudden, thinking about her adventures.
"Did you travel with this man you were telling me about?" he could not help but ask.
It took Rose a minute to respond.
"Oh yes. Do you know what John? I realized I wouldn't change anything that happened. It was my life, and I never truly lived before that. I wonder if he feels the same way."
The Doctor knew that the reality bomb's effects were wearing off and that there was little time left in Rose's universe. This had been a mistake; he should not have come back to revisit his past. He was leaving her, yet again. He wished he could escape his reality and stay with Rose.
Looking into Rose's eyes, he tried not to show his true emotions.
He stood up, and announced, "Well Rose Tyler, I must be off. It's time for me to go home."
"What, already?" she said with confusion.
"Yes I'm sorry to leave unexpectedly. I hope I helped you, even if in the smallest way possible."
"I understand, and thank you for listening about my problems," she said with her warm smile.
"Goodbye, John, I hope to see you again."
"Goodbye, Rose." He turned and began to walk away, but then decided to add one last thing.
"Rose? The man you were talking about? I know he feels the same way as you do."
"And how do you know that?" she inquired.
"Oh, I just do."
The look on his face seemed to spark an abrupt realization for Rose. She suddenly had this look of disbelief and wonderment. He smiled.
"Rose Tyler," he whispered softly.
The Doctor left her standing there, wondering if the man she just talked to was a psychotic stranger, or the most important man in her life.
"How could it be? It can't be," Rose uttered with bewilderment.
As the Doctor was walking back to the TARDIS, it began to rain. He became drenched within a few minutes. He felt like his hearts were breaking in two.
Walking into the TARDIS, he knew he only had a minute to get out of Rose's universe. He made the TARDIS begin to take off, pulling levers here and there, with tears blurring his vision. Back to reality.
From a few blocks away, Rose was back on her bench, crying softly into her hands in the pouring rain. Then, she looked up as she heard the wheezing noise of the TARDIS departing – her favorite and least favorite sound in the whole world. She sobbed even harder as she realized whom she was talking to. It was her Doctor.
The heavy droplets of rain washed away the tears streaming down her face. She would sit here for hours, thinking about her Doctor and the life she would never have again.
