She had him cornered.
He was feeling trapped. Weeks of holding his emotions in check had left him feeling edgy. Now to be cornered in an examination room by someone he barely knew made Carter feel his rush of emotions was soon to be released.
She looked at him with concern, sadness, and uncertainty clouding her eyes. Sara Lewis was the newest member of the County General Hospital team, since Dr. Mark Greene hired her as the receptionist before he left for Hawaii…to die.
Carter needed to break the silence. "So…um…did you need something?"
She gazed at him, squirming just slightly. "Yes? Do you have time?"
"Yeah, I'm just coming off shift, but first, what do you want to speak to me about?" He knew it was one of two things: either he had forgotten something- paperwork or the like- or she wanted to talk about Mark. He suspected the latter, but he did not want to talk about Mark.
She somehow confirmed his suspicion using no words, and he turned to try and make a quick exit, feeling the pressure inside him build.
Sara stepped in front of him, placing a hand on his chest to stop him. But what really halted John was the pleading look in her eyes and the whispered "Please…"
With her hand still on his chest, she pushed him to a seat on the examination table. Sara then dug in her pocket to pull out a frayed and worn piece of paper. Pushing it into her hands, she took her own seat on a chair next to the table.
John looked at the almost-stranger questioningly; she had barely spoken 6 words since this strange encounter had begun, and slightly more than that in the weeks since she had arrived at the hospital. Then he directed his attention to the paper he held in his hands. It was a letter, written in shaky handwriting.
Dear Sara,
Well, the County General Hospital now belongs to you. It is my inheritance to you! Yes, I am dying. I never would have thought it possible, especially not when you and I met oh so many years ago. But don't cry for me, my dear friend. It was more than a coincidence that you applied for this job at this hospital. And it was much more than a coincidence that you received the job; I had some say in that. Sara, as the kid sister of my best friend, you got us out of more scrapes than I can remember. You are going to have to use that same skill to make it in this hospital. Friend, you must be ME in this hospital after I am gone. It brings tears to my eyes to know how much there is undone at County General. But you will do it for me. Please, please, take care of my friends for me. Help them through my death, for I know you will be strong. One in particular…Dr. John Carter. He's so caring and sensitive. Watch out for him…he'll need you. I feel so much more at peace knowing you are there. Elizabeth, Rachel, and Ella send their love…hope to see you again someday…
Love,
Mark Greene
Carter didn't look up from the letter for a long while. When he did, it was obvious he was holding back tears.
Quietly, Sara got up and read aloud. "'Please, please, take care of my friends for me. Help them through my death, for I know you will be strong. One in particular…Dr. John Carter. He's so caring and sensitive. Watch out for him…he'll need you.'" She knelt so she was eye level with Carter, and said softly, "He was right, wasn't he? You…you can't handle this. You need help."
Suddenly, emotions took hold of Carter, and he angrily got up and went over to the door. Not looking back at her, he said in a tight voice, "You don't know me! You are a complete stranger!"
She answered him, simply, "I know." That conveyed more than was said. The underlying message was "That may be the best reason of all for you to talk to me."
It seemed to sap Carter's energy, and he seemed to become filled with an infinite sadness. He turned to look at her and said, "You're right. I can't handle it. I can't handle anything anymore. I can't handle LIFE. I almost think I'd be better off dead."
Sara didn't try to contradict him, knowing that would lead her into trouble. Instead, she asked, "Why do you say that?"
John's emotional dam burst, and he told her everything: the story of his beginnings, his home, his family, the stabbing at the hospital, Lucy's death, his drug addiction, and finally, Dr. Greene's death.
Suddenly, Carter found tears were pouring down his face. Sara breathed a quiet prayer, "God, please help me help him!"
She got up from the spot where she had been kneeling when he had stormed to the door. She slowly went over, took his hands, and said, "John, you were right. I don't know you. I don't know why I'm here. I don't know why I'm talking to you. But I do know there's someone out there looking out for us, and I don't only mean Mark Greene. Will you be my friend, Dr. Carter?"
Smiling through his tears, John reached out and embraced this young lady, that only moments before was just a face, and became a friend who knew his past and loved him anyway.
They left the examination room together. All of the nurses and doctors in County General noticed the difference: the spring in his step and the smile that finally reached his eyes.
No one needed to know how Dr. John Carter had broken down and sobbed on the shoulder of the new receptionist. It was their little secret.
A few weeks later, when Carter kissed her for the first time, Sara looked up to the sky, grinned, and said, "Thank you, Dr. Greene!"
The only answer were the faint sounds of bells ringing, as if some sweet and happy spirit was saying, "You are very welcome, my friends!"
He was feeling trapped. Weeks of holding his emotions in check had left him feeling edgy. Now to be cornered in an examination room by someone he barely knew made Carter feel his rush of emotions was soon to be released.
She looked at him with concern, sadness, and uncertainty clouding her eyes. Sara Lewis was the newest member of the County General Hospital team, since Dr. Mark Greene hired her as the receptionist before he left for Hawaii…to die.
Carter needed to break the silence. "So…um…did you need something?"
She gazed at him, squirming just slightly. "Yes? Do you have time?"
"Yeah, I'm just coming off shift, but first, what do you want to speak to me about?" He knew it was one of two things: either he had forgotten something- paperwork or the like- or she wanted to talk about Mark. He suspected the latter, but he did not want to talk about Mark.
She somehow confirmed his suspicion using no words, and he turned to try and make a quick exit, feeling the pressure inside him build.
Sara stepped in front of him, placing a hand on his chest to stop him. But what really halted John was the pleading look in her eyes and the whispered "Please…"
With her hand still on his chest, she pushed him to a seat on the examination table. Sara then dug in her pocket to pull out a frayed and worn piece of paper. Pushing it into her hands, she took her own seat on a chair next to the table.
John looked at the almost-stranger questioningly; she had barely spoken 6 words since this strange encounter had begun, and slightly more than that in the weeks since she had arrived at the hospital. Then he directed his attention to the paper he held in his hands. It was a letter, written in shaky handwriting.
Dear Sara,
Well, the County General Hospital now belongs to you. It is my inheritance to you! Yes, I am dying. I never would have thought it possible, especially not when you and I met oh so many years ago. But don't cry for me, my dear friend. It was more than a coincidence that you applied for this job at this hospital. And it was much more than a coincidence that you received the job; I had some say in that. Sara, as the kid sister of my best friend, you got us out of more scrapes than I can remember. You are going to have to use that same skill to make it in this hospital. Friend, you must be ME in this hospital after I am gone. It brings tears to my eyes to know how much there is undone at County General. But you will do it for me. Please, please, take care of my friends for me. Help them through my death, for I know you will be strong. One in particular…Dr. John Carter. He's so caring and sensitive. Watch out for him…he'll need you. I feel so much more at peace knowing you are there. Elizabeth, Rachel, and Ella send their love…hope to see you again someday…
Love,
Mark Greene
Carter didn't look up from the letter for a long while. When he did, it was obvious he was holding back tears.
Quietly, Sara got up and read aloud. "'Please, please, take care of my friends for me. Help them through my death, for I know you will be strong. One in particular…Dr. John Carter. He's so caring and sensitive. Watch out for him…he'll need you.'" She knelt so she was eye level with Carter, and said softly, "He was right, wasn't he? You…you can't handle this. You need help."
Suddenly, emotions took hold of Carter, and he angrily got up and went over to the door. Not looking back at her, he said in a tight voice, "You don't know me! You are a complete stranger!"
She answered him, simply, "I know." That conveyed more than was said. The underlying message was "That may be the best reason of all for you to talk to me."
It seemed to sap Carter's energy, and he seemed to become filled with an infinite sadness. He turned to look at her and said, "You're right. I can't handle it. I can't handle anything anymore. I can't handle LIFE. I almost think I'd be better off dead."
Sara didn't try to contradict him, knowing that would lead her into trouble. Instead, she asked, "Why do you say that?"
John's emotional dam burst, and he told her everything: the story of his beginnings, his home, his family, the stabbing at the hospital, Lucy's death, his drug addiction, and finally, Dr. Greene's death.
Suddenly, Carter found tears were pouring down his face. Sara breathed a quiet prayer, "God, please help me help him!"
She got up from the spot where she had been kneeling when he had stormed to the door. She slowly went over, took his hands, and said, "John, you were right. I don't know you. I don't know why I'm here. I don't know why I'm talking to you. But I do know there's someone out there looking out for us, and I don't only mean Mark Greene. Will you be my friend, Dr. Carter?"
Smiling through his tears, John reached out and embraced this young lady, that only moments before was just a face, and became a friend who knew his past and loved him anyway.
They left the examination room together. All of the nurses and doctors in County General noticed the difference: the spring in his step and the smile that finally reached his eyes.
No one needed to know how Dr. John Carter had broken down and sobbed on the shoulder of the new receptionist. It was their little secret.
A few weeks later, when Carter kissed her for the first time, Sara looked up to the sky, grinned, and said, "Thank you, Dr. Greene!"
The only answer were the faint sounds of bells ringing, as if some sweet and happy spirit was saying, "You are very welcome, my friends!"
