A/N I apologise for any typos you may find in this. :)
– Emergency –
Riza Hawkeye's day had been a fairly normal one. She had come to work early and started on her paperwork immediately, while the others filed into the office an hour later. The blonde lieutenant had been keeping them in line ever since – and checked up on a certain Colonel every now and then.
She honestly hadn't expected anything unusual to occur today. So when her commanding officer's door flew open with an air of urgency, she had been taken aback. It only took a split second though, and people who didn't know her well enough would have missed the surprised look on her face before she reached for her gun.
Standing up, muscles tense, she glared at the door, ready to take emergency orders.
Mustang emerged a second later, looking dishevelled and panicked.
"Where is it!?" he shouted, one hand going back to his hair to dishevel it even more while his other, glove on, threatened to snap. Hawkeye blinked.
Relaxing ever so slightly, she allowed a mildly confused look to take over her features. "Where is what, sir?"
Roy's head snapped towards her and after a second of blank staring, his eyes narrowed distrustfully. "Was it you?" he asked, his voice low and tight. A frown made its way onto Riza's face. She didn't like the way her commanding officer was talking; something of utmost urgency must've transpired for him to be suspicious of her!
Lowering her gun to show him she wasn't a real threat, she clicked the safety back on and looked at him. "Sir, may I ask what you're on about?"
Roy advanced towards her and cocked an onyx eyebrow at her, his eyes swimming with questions. Hawkeye's frown deepened. Then, his eyes strayed to her pen holder and they narrowed even more.
From over his shoulder Riza could detect the puzzled glances of the rest of the crew, as well as the occasional worried murmur. No-one but her seemed to dare to question Mustang on the matter.
"Sir?" she asked again when he didn't reply to her previous inquiry. Roy spoke then, his eyes not leaving the pen holder.
"Lieutenant, how many pens are usually in here?"
Her eyes widening a mere fraction in surprise, her gaze went to the pen holder sitting innocently enough on her desk. "I've never counted, sir."
Pocketing her gun now, as no real danger seemed to have made itself known, she focused on figuring out what was going through Roy's head this time.
Roughly, Mustang grabbed the holder and lifted each pen individually, examining each one with utmost precision. Riza shifted her weight from one foot to the other surreptitiously. "Is...everything alright, sir?"
"You didn't answer my previous question, Lieutenant," he stated, ignoring her question completely. Then, as if to make amends, he added, "And no, everything's not alright."
Hawkeye sat up straighter once she realised she had been leaning forward subconsciously in order to catch a glimpse of what was so interesting about her pens. "My apologies, sir. Could you repeat your question?"
"Was it you?" A complete monotone. It sounded as if he were bored, but Riza knew better.
With an uncertain frown, the blonde formed an answer. "I don't recall doing anything out of the ordinary, sir. Could you be a bit more specific as to what you're accusing me of?"
As if he hadn't even heard her, Roy let out a frustrated growl and let the pen holder fall back on the desk and walked away from her.
Riza cocked her head to see who he was advancing towards now, and winced when she saw the horrified look on Havoc's face as a gloved hand poised to snap was shoved in his face. "Was it you?" Mustang growled, his eyes narrowed to mere slits. Then, after a thoughtful beat, he added, "I wouldn't be surprised if you and the others made a bet out of this. Or was it a prank? Hm?"
Havoc spluttered and flushed in confusion and panic. "I-I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, sir. " The second Lieutenant squeaked when Mustang's middle finger and thumb started rubbing together ominously, light sparks of alchemic energy emitting too close to Havoc's face for comfort.
Letting the gloved hand fall from the blond's face, Roy picked up the black pen holder on his desk and, keeping an eye trained on the stuttering Lieutenant, went thought it, pen by pen.
By now, everyone was beyond baffled. What had gotten into their Colonel all of a sudden?
"Sir," Riza interrupted, hand going to the butt of her gun on instinct. Roy barely spared a glance for her, too preoccupied with looking at each pen so closely she questioned his ability to actually see the pen. It was as if he wanted to catch some small mark that would make all the difference in the world.
"Yes, Lieutenant?"
"Please enlighten us as to what you're doing, sir."
As he put Havoc's pen holder down, Roy seemed satisfied his trusted lieutenant hadn't betrayed him but pissed off even more because he hadn't found what he wanted.
He turned back to Hawkeye, hands professionally kept behind his back, his face blank. "You see, Lieutenant, someone has decided to play a prank on me." He turned to Breda's desk and picked up his pen holder, not bothering to ask him if it 'was him'. He started going through it as meticulously as before as he continued. "Someone has stolen my pen, Lieutenant Hawkeye."
Riza blinked. The office had gone deathly quiet as everyone digested this newly presented information. But in their minds, the only thing remaining was: So?
"And I'm going to find him," Roy added ominously as if reading their thoughts.
Riza fidgeted and her face twisted in a questioning pursed-lip expression. "Sir, I believe you have more pens in your own pen holder. If this is merely another attempt of yours to procrastinate..." She trailed off and pointedly patted her gun holder.
To everyone's surprise, Roy chuckled, setting Breda's pen holder down and searching immediately for the next one – Fuery's. "Oh you don't get it, Lieutenant. You see, I can't do my paperwork with any other pen."
Questions assaulted the blonde's mind after this admission, but one shined brighter than the others in her mind. "If this pen of yours has been missing this whole time, are you trying to tell me that you haven't even started on your paperwork yet, Colonel?" Her growl was met with a blank onyx stare. The guilty look in his eyes made her own narrow significantly and the gun was in her hand before anyone could blink.
Roy seemed to cower for a second before he regained control of himself and straightened in a superior manner. "I was about to start, but I found my pen was missing."
The click of a safety. "And why is this pen so important that its absence would hinder your ability to work?" She tried to remain calm and hear him out, she really did – but he wasn't helping.
Roy blinked. "It's my favourite," he stated matter-of-factly, with a hint of a whiny excuse tone that made Riza's blood boil.
"With all due respect, sir, there are plenty of pens you can use until yours turns up." She trained her chocolate brown eyes on him as he turned his back and started going through Falman's pen holder. "You have three stacks to complete by the end of the day and you have been here two hours doing nothing–"
"I was looking for my pen!" he defended indignantly.
Hawkeye pinched the bridge of her nose in exasperation. "Would you like one of my pens, sir?" she asked in a light tone used for toddlers whining for more felt tip pens.
The Colonel's brow furrowed in annoyance. "Didn't you get what I just said? I can't use another pen!" She had opened her mouth to retort but he cut her off. "It's bad enough you have me locked up in here with paperwork, I can't even imagine what an ordeal it will become without my favourite pen!"
He set Falman's pen holder back on the desk and rubbed his chin in thought. "Hughes!" he exclaimed and, before Riza could object, he had run out the door.
After his departure, the office remained in a stunned silence before Havoc piped up. "I need a smoke," he said shakily and put a cancer stick in his mouth, before lighting it up. Riza didn't even bother to stop him.
She sighed but then her face became hard. "I'll ask just once; has any of you seen that damn pen?"
The use of a curse word made everyone flinch and she knew they would tell her the truth.
When everyone shook their head frantically though, she sighed once more and decided to continue with her paperwork.
A few minutes later, Roy returned, a lost and enraged look on his face. He slammed the door closed and started pacing the outer office, muttering to himself.
From her seat on her chair, Riza put her pen down and looked at him. "I'm guessing you didn't find it?"
Everyone looked up at her brave question, and Mustang shot her an angry glance – she didn't even blink.
Running a hand through his hair, he grunted unintelligibly. Riza sighed. "Have you looked in your office, sir?"
That made Roy halt in his tracks and he stared at her dumbly. "Do you think I'm stupid, Lieutenant?" Riza opened her mouth and he growled, "Of course I looked in my damn office!"
Snapping her mouth shut, the blonde stood. She walked towards the inner office door and at Mustang's questioning look, said, "I'm going to take a look for myself. You never know what you might've missed." Roy looked offended at that, but didn't dare question her. "You need to start on your paperwork someday, sir, anyway."
The Lieutenant didn't bother closing the door behind her as she marched up to his desk. She carefully took in the items on the desktop – the three stacks of paperwork, a small picture of Edward that made her raise an eyebrow, a pen holder, stamps, extra papers for notes and an empty frame that seemed to have been made especially for the small picture. So that was what he was doing all morning...
Shaking her head in exasperation she picked up his pen holder. She didn't know why she did it actually; she had no idea what his so-called favourite pen even looked like. She frowned as she went through each one but gave up halfway; not one held any sort of significance to her. They were just pens after all, Roy could easily use one of these to complete paperwork with. She'd never comprehended that man's logic.
She went through the draws of his desk, carefully keeping her eyes away from private stuff, such as another Edward photo – she might have to question him about that later. She looked for a pen, any sort of pen but found none.
Sighing – maybe he had been right about it not being in his office after all – she stood up. She was ready to walk away from the desk when a small click made her look down. There, next to her boot, rested a small, rather thick pen. It was a crimson red with hints of silver, and for some reason she just knew this was the one. There was something different about it.
Picking it up carefully, she looked it over, raising her eyebrows when she spotted words having been scratched sloppily on the surface.
'Birthday, bastard –Ed
Riza blinked. Since when did Ed give the Colonel birthday presents? And since when did said presents become Mustang's favourite items? Had she missed something?
Shaking her head with a sigh, she walked back to the outer office where Roy was waiting impatiently. Upon her entrance, he looked at her in annoyance. "See?" he started, "It wasn't the–" He cut himself off abruptly when his midnight blue eyes rested on her hand, or rather, the red pen in her hand.
The blonde Lieutenant raised her arm so it could be seen clearer. "Is this it?" she asked bluntly, already knowing the answer.
"Impossible," Roy blurted, eyes wide. "I looked–"
"It was on the floor, sir. Apparently, you didn't look under your chair."
Roy paused at that but then his eyes narrowed again, distrustfully, but the flush on his cheeks was undeniable. "You put it there," he accused feebly. He couldn't have made such a fuss about something that had been under his chair!
Hawkeye raised a delicate eyebrow, the only part of her face that changed. "And why would I do that, sir?"
"To spite me," Roy replied sulkily.
Riza sighed. "Sir, you're not making sense. Think about it; why would I take your favourite pen if I want you to finish your paperwork?"
Mustang didn't seem to have an answer to that, but puffed up his cheeks in embarrassment. "I know you put it there. Or, at least, someone did while I was out checking Maes."
The first Lieutenant knew for a fact that no-one had so much as stirred from their seat while he was out checking Hughes' pen holder.
She shrugged. "Whatever cushions the blow to your pride, sir." Snickers could be heard from behind the Colonel at that, but they shut up when he shot them an indignant glare.
"Well, then," Hawkeye started, her stern tone making the others turn back to their paperwork. She turned to Roy. "Let's get you to work, sir."
They both entered the inner office, Roy closing the door behind the Lieutenant. They stayed silent as Mustang sauntered over to his desk, taking a seat in his chair. He could feel Riza's amused stare but didn't raise his eyes.
She handed him the pen. "Is there anything you want to tell me, sir?" She didn't need to refer to what she was talking about for him to get it, and the corners of her mouth twitched upwards at his badly smothered blush.
"You're dismissed, Lieutenant."
The blonde raised her eyebrows in amusement but decided not to embarrass her commanding officer any more. She turned to leave after an amused smile as she watched him sign the papers a little too furiously. On the way to the door, however, she paused.
"You might want to put that picture away, sir, Edward is due in a couple of hours."
She didn't need to look back to see his face in her mind as he spluttered.
A/N This idea just came to me like a slap and I burst out laughing out of nowhere, making people look at me weirdly. So, yeah, as you can see, I had to write it. To tell you the truth it was going to be a non-pairing fic - just some Mustang crew humour but how it ended up being hinted RoyEd is beyond me. I don't know if you can take it as parental, since I meant it as romantic, but you can give it a shot, haha. I wanted to fit Edward in somewhere as well, but in the end I decided against it...Anyway, hope you enjoyed this short one-shot. xP
Reviews, favourites are appreciated. :)
