Disclaimer: We do not own Unwind or "In The End," by Neal Shusterman and Linkin Park respectively. 'Cuz... they... PWN. Yeah, that's what.
Also, we recommend listening to the music we were inspired by where we inserted the lyrics in the fanfic... Actually, we did try to post the link, but FF. Net kept deleting parts of it. D:
Genre: Drama/Angst (each story is getting its own genres...)
In the End, Linkin Park: Connor and Roland
Risa's long, slender fingers slowly slide out from between his own. "Be quick, alright?"
He gives her a small nod in confirmation and regards the unusually somber Hayden. "I'm trusting you to keep things under control here."
"Sure, don't worry about it. Go and enjoy your time away from purgatory- I'll expect souvenirs." The barest hint of a smile reveals his teeth, finally free of the useless braces after his most recent expedition out of the Graveyard.
Connor returns the gesture and exchanges one final look with Risa. I'll be back. Her eyes stare pleadingly back at him, but he forces himself to turn away. His muffled footfalls raise clouds of sand in the arid desert as he purposefully strides toward the horizon.
-x-
The coat of white paint on the door is barely existent anymore, and Connor takes a step back from the antique shop entrance. A shudder ripples down Connor's spine as anxiety takes hold of him. How long has it been? A year and a half? Two? How old had she been, anyway? Seconds pass agonizingly as he ponders opening the door. Life would be so much simpler, never having to face them again. He wants to remain nameless, anonymous, Elvis Robert Mullard.
But, the easy way out has never been the one for Connor. Before he can generate even more doubt, he clumsily grips the rusting doorknob and twists. A harsh screech grates against his eardrums as the door opens, and the familiar jingle of bells greet him.
The darkness takes him by surprise, and he stupidly stands, motionless, blinking to adjust to the lack of light. Finally, he casts his gaze briefly around the mishmash of merchandise spread haphazardly before him, covered by a thin layer of dust. His heart sinks.
"Sonia?"
For a moment, the quiet unnervingly envelops his senses. He anxiously scans the area, the sick sensation in his gut crushing him with a sudden weight. Tentatively, he steps forward, away from the ancient door, swinging absentmindedly on its rusty hinges. Suddenly, slow but steady steps, accompanied by the harsh fall of a cane, grow louder and louder until finally coming to a halt in front of Connor. "Caps lock IMPATIENT, that's what you are. IMPATIENT!"
"Sonia!"
A smirk much like Hayden's comes across Sonia's face. "You didn't actually think that I'd die with your generation in charge, now did you?" Her cane whips through the air and smacks Connor neatly on the shins.
Connor's grin matches Sonia's. "I missed you."
"Getting sentimental in your old age, hm?"
Witty banter is not one of Connor's strong points. He gives a good-natured grunt and allows a comfortable silence to fall upon them.
His eyes drift along the walls of the room. He spots familiar things, such as the fruit bowl painting and the antique plasma television. Not much has changed, although the ceiling droops a little lower and the extra layers of dust add an air of authenticity to the shop. His smile fades as his gaze rests upon the trunk, still lying on the faded Persian carpet. "How's correspondence?"
"Right to the point." The gentle crinkles of amusement around Sonia's eyes disappear as she waddles over to the rug. "You beouf enough now?"
Connor visibly brightens. "You still have my letter? Thank God, I was afraid that you pushed the date forward a year because of the law. Can I have it?"
She doesn't respond, instead opting to find a comfortable position atop the old trunk.
The silence speaks for her, and Connor exhales sharply, overwhelmed by a bewildering mixture of disappointment and relief.
Abruptly- "I've still got Risa's, if she wants it. And the thieving ox's too, as insubstantial as it is. Judging from his arm that you've got there though, he's been unwound." Her eyes, still burning with a fiery light, pierce him.
Shame flows from his emotionally scarred tissue, crashing down on his skull with renewed fury, only temporarily stemmed by the scabs of time. He casts his brown eyes downwards and shuffles his feet awkwardly. "I… I didn't have a choice. I wasn't even conscious when they gave me the operation. I swear, I would have refused it like Risa. And the Admiral."
"Funny how the man whose integrity you doubted turned out to be purer than your own."
"I…but I really... I-" His words die in his throat with a frustrated growl, and his hands curl anxiously as the silence takes on a colder edge. Finally, with a barely stifled sigh, he tilts his head downward and resigns himself to her harsh accusations.
He feels her mercilessly scrutinizing him, searching, seeing straight to his soul. Moments pass, the uncomfortable feeling of nakedness causing Connor to restlessly shift his weight from one foot to the other.
Eventually, it seems she is satisfied, although with what, Connor is unsure. Her scowl softens as she makes another halfhearted swipe at the general direction of his legs from across the room. The two face each other wordlessly, but Connor drops her gaze. Suddenly, Sonia produces an ancient mp3 player from behind the chest. She beckons him forward, mp3 and earphones in her other outstretched palm.
Hesitantly, he shuffles forward and takes it, weighing it in his hand. "What's this for?"
Sonia whacks him with the cane once more, grinning impishly, almost as if the previous exchange had never happened. "What did I tell you? Don't be so impatient! Figure it out later," she commands. She fixes him once more with a glare, although with a hint of affection, before clearing her throat and sliding off her perch.
"So, I heard you and Risa..."
-x-
Connor's feet drag, catching gravel in the threads hanging from the hem of his grimy jeans. His hands, roughly shoved into pockets, feel the cool metal of the mp3 player. He stops, surveying the landscape, and kicks a random pebble distractedly as his mind wandered. Sonia asked about everything and everyone- not just the motley crew that she had once housed, but the workings of Graveyard and more. In return, she reassures him about the fate of the baby, who Hannah renamed Deliah, still Didi for short. All in all a pleasant conversation, but some tiny part of him still wishes he could have left the antique shop with the perverse anticipation of seeing his family once more weighing on him.
Would they have taken him back?
He considers it for a brief moment before shaking his head to clear the absurd notion from his brain. Even if they had offered, he knows he couldn't have and wouldn't have accepted. Risa, Hayden, and so many others were awaiting his return to the Graveyard, his new home.
He sighs again, more deeply. Finally, he pulls out the mp3 player, trying to desert his heavy thoughts. The bulky headphones settle uncomfortably over his ears as he tries to figure out how to play music. Light filters through the dusty screen, and Connor finds his cursor scrolling up and down the 25 Most Played playlist.
"In the End, by Linkin Park," Connor notes. Considering how digital music had completely been revolutionized since the advent of the mp3 player to the point where newer songs weren't even created in the mp3 format, Connor doubts that he knows this song. All the same, he fumbles with the slippery control wheel for a few seconds before finally getting it to play.
A keyboard and set of drums fill the silence before two voices join in the melody.
"(It starts with)… One thing, I don't know why- it doesn't even matter how hard you try. Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme to explain in due time. All I know… Time is a valuable thing. Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings. Watch it count down to the end of the day. The clock ticks life away- it's so unreal. Didn't look out below. Watch the time go right out the window, trying to hold on but didn't even know. Wasted it all just to watch you go. I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart. What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard, and got so far. But in the end, it doesn't even matter. I had to fall, to lose it all. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
One thing, I don't know why- it doesn't even matter how hard you try. Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme to remind myself how I tried so hard.
In spite of the way you were mocking me, acting like I was part of your property, remembering all the times you fought with me. I'm surprised it got so (far). Things aren't the way they were before. You wouldn't even recognize me anymore. Not that you knew me back then, but it all comes back to me, in the end. You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart. What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard, and got so far… But in the end, it doesn't even matter. I had to fall, to lose it all. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
I've put my trust in you. Pushed as far as I can go. For all this, there's only one thing you should know- I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go. For all this, there's only one thing you should know- I tried so hard, and got so far. But in the end, it doesn't even matter. I had to fall, to lose it all.
But in the end, it doesn't even matter."
Cymbals crash into Connor's eardrums as the piano slowly fades away. He blinks, finally noticing the slight twitch in his right thumb. Sonia's words run through his mind.
"…the thieving ox's…"
His knees buckle slightly as he stares at the mp3 with a renewed interest, though tinged with horror. He presses play again.
"…I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go. For all this, there's only one thing you should know- I tried so hard, and got so far. But in the end, it doesn't even matter. I had to fall, to lose it all.
But in the end, it doesn't even matter."
His eyes are blank, but inside, his mind is racing. He remembers those days in Sonia's basement, stuck with Risa, Roland, Mai, and Hayden, and the night of sharing stories. To be honest, he hadn't paid much attention, and could only recall the vaguest of details of Roland's. Something… Something like he had a stepmother… Or was it a stepfather? Guilt sweeps over him as he desperately tries to cling onto those thinning strands of memories.
One word, one word is all he is able to grasp from those strands in the haze of his brain.
Betrayal.
From it, he pieces bits together. Roland… he… he had been protecting a loved one. His mother, from someone. Roland loved her, thought she would be grateful. But no- he was sent to be unwound. Forgotten.
The tiger shark's empty stare bores into his skull. Sharks are known to prefer solitude, as one of the most well-designed of Mother Nature's creatures, perfect hunters. Yet, it was this solitude, this isolation that Roland suffered from. It was this, brought on by his own mother, that caused him to drown in the deep dark seas.
His only chance for survival was to discard his pitiful humanity that had never served him well, and become a beast.
Connor watches as his right hand curls into fist against his will. Ariana's parents float in front of his mind's eye- "animal," they mouth. While their faces have long since grown fuzzy, their eyes remain sharp with hatred and fear. Perhaps he and Roland had both once been captivated by their inner monsters, swimming in the same murky waters.
He looks down at the tattoo again, expecting a familiar wave of nausea and contempt to wash over him. However, a different emotion stands in its place. Connor can't quite name it. It is not respect, nor is it a grudging acceptance.
But once, we were kin…
Author's Note-
...For those who may have read Unwind a while back, just wanted to mention that the mp3 player is actually from the book- Roland did steal one from Sonia, earning the nickname "thieving ox" from her. Also, we know that Sonia wouldn't technically know about Connor and his initial distrust of the Admiral, but hey, POETIC LICENSE. HA HA.
Decided that Unwind could really use more fanfics... Review please?
