A.N: soooo.....Hiya! First Scrubs story a little A.U., and maybe a bit OOC...cause...well lets face it....who can completely replicate what an actor does on screen, i ask you? lol But really enjoy....it's a lttle different for me but we'll see how it turns out.
Disclaimer: i own nothing, cept for my plot and character.
1: My Bad Day
I never thought a beeper could signify the beginning of a very long and bad day. I hadn't even been in the hospital when I was paged, I had been sleeping. It was my only day off in a long time and yet I still had to go back into work at 6 o'clock in the morning. It could've possibly been stage one of my very bad day.
By the time I had gotten to the hospital, dawn was already breaking and the sun was brightly illuminating my path. I wasn't excited to see the sign of the hospital as I approached slowly. It seemed I should be rushing, but the page didn't offer a lot of information as to why I had to be called into the Intensive Care Unit. I was quick by the time I entered the hospital, jumping on the elevator and riding my way to the ICU.
Although I had worked in the ICU before pediatrics, I wasn't used to the layout of Sacred Heart's ICU and I struggled to find the room that had occupied one of my patients. Once I did, I sighed loudly, seeing her strapped to many cords wasn't my idea of a welcome.
"Well it's about time you got here; take your sweet time did you?" I rolled my eyes. I had worked with Dr. Perry Cox several times in med school but I wasn't exactly used to his sarcasm. I turned to meet him as he handed me the chart I was looking for.
"Why are her vitals so low?" I hadn't expected any of this. Jamie Martinez was only 6 years old, and when her aunt first brought her in we were only treating her for appendicitis.
"She might just be having a reaction to the surgery, but we stabilized her for the moment. It looks like right now, we might lose her." I paused and looked up at Dr. Cox, he wasn't joking. No one was joking about this. Jamie's aunt was sitting in the glass incased room, holding her nieces hand with sincere affection.
"She's so young…and her parents?" I wasn't sure on what to do next. I could stay and watch her with a keen eye, or I could leave and spend the rest of my day off in bed wondering what would happen to poor Jamie.
"Aunt tried to call, but apparently their hotel in Mexico doesn't know where they are. They're MIA." Dr. Cox didn't seem pleased about this and neither was I. I was more of a mother to Jamie then her own parents were. I felt so horrible to see her so helpless. "If she goes you can't blame yourself….remember that." Dr. Cox left my side to attend to his many other tasks. I leaned against the counter behind me and held Jamie's chart underneath my arm as I pondered what I could do to keep Jamie alive.
I spent the next several hours in a chair in the nurses' station, watching closely as Jamie just slipped into her potentially fatal coma. Jamie's aunt would notice me several times and quickly turn away afraid I would go in there at the last minute and tell her the horrible news. She knew, I knew she did, we all knew that Jamie was going to fade away; I was just waiting for the moment in which I would have to go in there and be the hero. I couldn't be the hero, not today. I wouldn't be anything but the desperate doctor trying to save the life of her 6 year old patient. And then, the inevitable happened. She began to crash.
And there I was, already noon and I was trying desperately to revive Jamie Martinez. It was hard enough trying to do such a task in a small room, but her aunt was standing behind me, desperate tears of her own pouring from her eyes. I tried my best there was no denying that. I checked and did everything I could to keep Jamie alive for the last few minutes of her life. I managed to do so for several heart wrenching minutes, and she survived for at least thirty minutes.
I shouldn't have been surprised when the monitor next to me flat lined loudly. I was in the middle of calling clear for the last time and I froze, inhaled sharply and exhaled slowly. I was fine until Jamie's aunt squealed as she realized what the noise in the room meant. I shuddered a sigh and slowly put the panels down. I looked at the clock and took another deep breath.
"Time of Death…1230." I knew the moment I had spoken the words that Jamie's Aunt wasn't going to take them well. I turned quickly to catch her as she fell to her knees crying. I sunk with her, trying to avoid the situation but not being able to. She cradled her body into my arms and stained my shirt with her tears. I had then realized that I hadn't taken the words well either. I felt the tears sting my eyes but I refused to let them go. If I was going to cry, I wasn't going to do it infront of my peers and coworkers.
"I'm so sorry for your loss…" I could only muster up enough courage to say the words that nobody else could say. For a while I sat with her, leaning against the wall as the nurses and interns helped clean the body.
I sat, after that in the nurses' station, trying to figure out anything I could've done to save that girls life. But there wasn't anything I could've done. I sat staring at the now empty room where the bed had been remade and there would be another patient who had no clue what happened to the previous occupant of the bed.
I had never lost a patient like that. Not a young patient anyway. I picked pediatrics for that sole reason that I wouldn't have to lose someone like that again. I guess I was wrong. I sighed and glanced at the clock. I had spent the last few hours moping about in my own sorrow. I could've used them to at least sleep some.
"Dr. Wilson, I expect you have at least some reason as to why you're still sitting in my ICU?" Dr. Bob Kelso had snuck up behind me, startling me out of my chair and on to my feet within seconds. I cleared my throat and fixed my shirt before I tried to explain exactly what it was that I was doing. To tell the truth I hadn't a clue what I was doing either.
"Ah…come on Bobbo, give a girl a break alright. Now I know that's hard for you since your heart was eaten alive that one monster back in the 1800s and all, but you got to atleast believe you can." Dr. Cox was quick to my rescue, sarcastic as it may be, but of course I couldn't muster enough courage after that to defend my self.
"Well now, since you and Doctor Cox are such good friends, how about we do you guys a little favor, shall we. You see one of the attendings tripped and broke his leg yesterday so we're one man short on emergency staff. How would you like to be apart of our team down here? I'm sure the girls up in pediatrics would understand," I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. What I ever I would say wouldn't be considered anyway and maybe I needed more practice with death.
"Great choice, kiddo. I'll see you tomorrow at eight thirty." Kelso had walked away before I could even say anything. I groaned in frustration and turned to leave. I should have been going home any way.
" Since you've been moping around for the past several hours I might as well share a little secret with you. Everybody has to go sometime. It was just her time, and it's sad when it's someone so young but it's just one of those things that we have to live and learn from. You can't blame yourself for what happened, and if you do you'll just let it get the best of you and that's something you can never come back from…" I paused for a moment, staring at Dr. Cox's sincerest face and nodded, stuffing my hands in my pockets and reaching for my keys within them.
"I'll try and remember that…" I turned away, deciding that going home would probably the best thing I did all day. I wasn't going to like looking at the incredibly sick older people in the ICU tomorrow. I had gotten used to looking at painfully sick children for the past 5 years, and even that was still hard to do. At least I had Dr. Cox to keep me from killing myself, and I realize that that's just hoping for too much. Dr. Cox didn't seem like the type of guy who "cared" about his fellow doctors' feelings.
I reached the exit to the hospital before I knew it, excited when I finally walked out the door and spotted my small yet cozy car from the steps. I jogged down the steps and let my body carry me to the set of four wheels. I wasn't really paying attention to be honest, which makes the next few moments crucial to the ending of my very bad day.
I felt all air release its self from my chest as I hit the pavement and I gasped in surprise. I listened to the sounds around me, all other senses unavailable to myself. I heard a siren wiz past my right ear and felt the wind that followed quickly afterwards. I gasped in surprise, as soon as I had gotten my breath back, I had almost been hit by an ambulance. The body on top of me released the pressure and sat up slightly, sitting on top of me.
"Are you okay?" I wasn't going to lie, the man sitting on top of me had earned the right to be there. Luckily for him he was good looking too. I sighed loudly, still hard of breathing and shifted under his weight.
"I think I'd be better if you weren't sitting on top of me…I think your crushing my pelvis." It was unfortunate that I had to say it but, I couldn't just let him sit there forever (even if I had wanted him to.)
"Oh sorry," He climbed off, the green scrubs clad doctor and stood quickly, extending a hand to me so I could be helped to my feet. I quickly assessed the situation, realizing that the ambulance that had come whirling by had almost hit a few other pedestrians in the midst of avoid hitting me and the doctor in front of me.
"Aw man," I hissed, looking to my right arm, realizing there was a large shard of glass protruding from it.
"Here, we should go suture that up and get you home…" He was friendly enough as he nodded towards the entrance of the hospital. Again, I felt my self dreading going back in there. I would be stuck there for another hour or so and I wouldn't get home until late. It was an unending cycle. I swear this hospital was going to be the death of me.
