"That is the the worst idea you have ever had." Luke threw his hands in the air searching for the words to explain how fucking ridiculous his best friend sounded.
"It is not. No one knows what I look like. What could go wrong?" Jonathan said and looked at Luke, waiting for his retort.
Luke laughed, "Are you serious? What could go wrong? Uhh, everything. They could recognize your voice, a stranger could recognize your voice, and God forbid if you laugh out in public. That's a dead giveaway right there. Then you would be exposed and pissed off because I'll tell you I told you so."
"I think you're overreacting. Big time." Jonathan grinned. "I've been working on my laugh. I can giggle without sounding like my normal self. And I've been working on my speech so I don't slur my words. I just gotta think it through before I open my mouth."
"I don't know. I don't think it's a good idea. I mean, I want you to go. And you can, but you should tell them. That way you don't have to go through all this trouble to hide. Just meet them." Luke pushed his hands together in prayer, hoping Jonathan would reconsider, but the look on his face that he knew so well said otherwise.
"No, Luke. I don't want them to know. I want to meet them more than anything, but I want to stay a secret. I don't want things to change if they know my face."
Luke groaned and rubbed his eyes. "You are the weirdest person I've ever known. Your face will not change your relationship with your friends. Why can't you understand that?"
Jonathan sat back in his chair, "Just let me do this. Just this once. I won't ask anything else of you. For a while at least."
He winked and Luke rolled his eyes, "Fine. But do not under any circumstances get too close to any of them. I know you've been working on not acting like yourself, but if you get comfortable around any of them, you'll probably slip and they'll know. That's all I ask."
Jonathan nodded, "I gotcha. Don't get too close. I can do that."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Nervous yet?" Luke glanced over at him as they grabbed their luggage and rolled it through the airport.
Nervous was an understatement. Jonathan was almost shaking with anticipation but he wouldn't let Luke know that or else he'd lock him up in the hotel room for three days so he wouldn't say anything stupid.
"I'm excited, actually." He lied, partially. Yes, he was excited, but he was also so anxious it was putting knots in his stomach.
"Good. We're gonna have a ton of fun since this is your first convention. But we need to discuss your backstory, that way when everything starts tomorrow you won't get tongue tied when someone asks you what your name is or where you're from." Luke held the door open for him and followed him into the taxi. Snow was starting to fall as the sky got darker with the time. The con started tomorrow morning and he was supposed to be meeting up with Lui and then head in and find everyone else.
He was going to have to leave Jonathan on his own at some point and he was dreading it. Jonathan was a very smart guy, but he was also spontaneous and a very spur of the moment kind of guy. If he met a new person and they asked him to tag along somewhere, he would do it in a heartbeat.
He made friends easily and was an extremely approachable guy, but it wasn't always a good thing. He could get lost, abducted, murdered.
"Luke, I'll be fine." Jonathan pulled him from his thoughts as the taxi pulled up in front of the hotel. "I can practically hear you thinking."
They got out and retrieved their bags from the trunk. Luke stopped and sighed after the car pulled away. "I just don't want anything to happen to you out there."
Jonathan chuckled to himself and started to roll his belongings along behind him. "I'm a grown guy. I think I can handle myself. Besides, I'll be surrounded by a bunch of nerds who will be way too invested in the games and not trying to carry me away to their mom's basement."
"That's not funny." Luke deadpanned and checked them in.
"It was a little funny." Jonathan said once they were in the elevator.
Luke held back a smile, "Okay, yeah. But seriously, don't get carried away."
"Like, 'don't get carried away'? Or 'don't let someone carry me away'?" Jonathan raised a brow as Luke slid the key card in the door and let them in.
"Both."
"What's here that I would get carried away with?" Jonathan asked and plopped down on the bed. It was late and he was tired of travelling. This was why he didn't go places often.
"Evan."
Jonathan cut his eyes over at his friend. "Shut the fuck up."
"I'm not the one who has a huge man crush on him." Luke grinned slyly.
Jonathan huffed, "Just because I admire the fuck out of him doesn't mean I have a crush on him. He's a really good friend and he's nice."
Luke kicked his shoes off and got comfortable on his bed. He flipped the tv on. "Whatever. I know that's why you wanted to come so bad. So you could see him."
Jonathan sat up and rubbed his eyes with an irritated groan.
"Tell me I'm wrong." Luke said and smiled when Jonathan flipped him the bird before pulling his clothes off and crawling under his covers. He never said a word.
"I knew it." Luke laughed.
"Fuck you."
Jonathan woke before Luke did and pulled the curtains open to find that the sun hadn't even come up yet, but it was close. He made himself a hot shower and got in, fiddling with the miniature shampoo and conditioner. They always amused him.
He stood there under the hot water in thought for what seemed like an hour. Thinking.
Luke wasn't wrong. He had always had an attachment to Evan ever since he started playing with him all those years ago. They had gotten close and he didn't know when it happened, but it did. He started getting anxious waiting on Evan to get online and play. At one point he began to get jealous for absolute stupid reasons. Like if someone jumped in the car with Evan before he had the chance to while they played GTA. It was aggravating to say the least. He didn't want it, because Evan was someone he'd never get to know. Even if he already knew him inside and out.
But that's why he was here in Boston. This was his chance to meet him without Evan ever knowing who he was. It was a perfect plan. He'd have the satisfaction of finally getting to see him with his own eyes, but he could still remain anonymous. Perfect.
He grinned, pleased with himself as he rinsed the soap from his skin and got out of the shower. He dried the water on his body and ruffled his short hair before pulling his clothes on; jeans and his black VanossGaming shirt. He laced up his chucks and glanced out of the window again to find the sun finally coming up. Luke's alarm went off and the man squinted against the light in the room.
"Why are you up so early?" Luke stretched.
Jonathan shrugged. "I couldn't stay alseep." He stood, "I'm gonna run down the street and get us some breakfast. What do you want?"
"Just, whatever. You know what I like. Thanks." Luke mumbled and pulled the sheets back over him.
"A'ight then. I'll be back."
The snow had stuck over night. It wasn't thick but it was fucking cold and windy and he had to watch his step or else he'd bust his ass. He pulled his jacket a little tighter around him as he headed down the sidewalk. The city was still quiet but the amount of people out and about was increasing and he had to make room as he continued his journey. Most people looked professional, but you could definitely tell there was a con happening because in the midst of all those professionals were people dressed like he was. Jeans and a YouTuber's t-shirt, a few pins fixed on their hats and jackets. He smiled to himself.
He'd never done this. Never been to a convention before and he had a good reason not to; his anonymity. And deep down when he really thought about it, it was kind of sad considering he'd rather stay home alone in his house than get out and meet people and be a dork. He loved meeting people, honestly. But when it came down to the crew, he got nervous and he didn't feel anywhere near good enough to be a part of them. He didn't feel like he'd be welcome to hang out like they did.
Glancing back up from his distraction he nearly ran into an enormous guy, at least seven foot tall and then he saw his face. His heart pounded and he could feel the heart creeping up his neck. Breathe, holy shit. Just breathe.
Tyler held his hands out, "Whoa, sorry dude. I almost mowed you over."
Jonathan smiled and gave one of his practiced laughs that didn't feel right, but it did the job. "It's alright, man. I wasn't paying attention."
Lui popped up from behind him and smiled, "Nice shirt."
Jonathan looked down at his VG shirt and grinned, "Thanks. I've got a shirt from every one of you guys, actually."
"Really? That's awesome!" Lui clapped him on the shoulder. "Take a picture with us, dude. You're the first fan we've run into today."
"Seriously?" Jonathan asked, clearly in disbelief. These two shits were even better in person and it was fucking killing him to keep his mouth shut.
"Yeah, come on." Tyler said and stood on one side while Lui stood on his other. He smiled and it was so genuine it was hurting his face.
"You follow us on Twitter?" Lui asked and Jonathan nodded.
"I do. You'll post it on there?"
"Absolutely."
"Alright, man. I'll find it on there. Thanks, you guys are great." He kept smiling as they waved and started walking away.
"Hey, we'll have a fan meet later!" Tyler called out. "You should stop by!"
Jonathan held up his arm and waved, "I'll be there!"
He turned back around once they were out of sight and he laughed as he walked into the small breakfast joint at the corner. That wasn't what he was expecting first thing in the morning. But it proved that his plan was working, they had no idea it was him, but they appreciated him as a fan. That was enough to encourage him on.
"Okay, so your name is Liam. Not Jonathan. DO NOT CALL YOURSELF JONATHAN." Luke said as he ate out of the to-go box in his lap on the bed.
"Liam." Jonathan raised a brow, "My middle name? How creative of you. But, okay." He took a bite of his breakfast burrito. "What else?"
"You'll be from Ohio. Since no one else is from there, they won't call you on your bluff or get excited and ask you which part you live in. You live in Ohio and it's uneventful, got it?"
He nodded. "Yep, got it. What do I do for a living?"
"You play video games on the side and your job is . . . . you're a manager of a . . . . mattress firm?"
"Mattresses. That's the best you can come up with?"
Luke laughed and shrugged, "I doubt anyone will ask you anyway."
"Whatever, I think I can bullshit about it. I mean how much is there to know about mattresses?"
"I don't know. Let's get going."
It was getting close to noon and they had been wandering around for hours, checking out releases, talking to new people. Mingling. Until Luke decided it was time for him to go find Lui like he had originally planned.
"Are you sure you'll be okay by yourself?"
"Yes, Luke. I'll be fine. We'll meet back up tonight and go get some food and then go back to the hotel." Jonathan laughed at his serious face. "Just, ya know, if we run into each other and the guys are with you, act like you don't know me. Because technically you don't who Liam from Ohio is."
"Alright. Just text me or call if you need anything." Luke said and gave him a fist bump before they parted ways and got lost in the crowds.
Jonathan was feeling good as wandered alone through the people while they talk and laughed around him. So this is what all the hype was about. It was fun, even if he wasn't speaking to anyone, even if he was just another face in the crowd. He couldn't imagine being known, like Evan and having people come up to him non stop just to say hi. It was hard to think about and he wasn't really paying attention to where he was going because he ended up walking into a Call of Duty mini competition. It was whoever could last the longest in an online match against each other. Full teams. No respawns. He grinned and took a seat.
He picked a name for himself: Luscious Liam. He created a custom class like he usually did and he felt his hands starting to sweat as the timer counted down. It hit one and he ran, taking cover before anyone could hear his footsteps.
It didn't take long for half of the guys to go down. Cross-map grenade kills and lucky shots. He grinned as he ran, thinking about the time when that's all he used to do with Marcel. Ninjas defuses. Then there came the trick shots. And then there came Evan.
His heart thudded. It was just him and one other guy left on the map. It was clutch time. He was good at this, always had been and he wouldn't go down now. He saw the flash of a scope and heard a bullet hit beside him. He dropped to the ground, shimmying his way to safety before hopping to his feet and flanking. But he had to keep in mind that this guy was just as good if he'd survived this long. So he probably had IEDs laid out to cover his back.
He did. He spotted them in the snow as he snuck around the cliffs to where the shot had fired from. Jonathan felt his fingers tremble, just slightly as the nerves took hold of him. There he was, the last guy.
He aimed and the name of his enemy flashed in red above his head and he felt his heart hit the back of his throat.
Vanoss.
"Holy shit . . ." He whispered, then he pulled the trigger.
The crowd around him erupted in shouts and cheers. He felt a few strange hands clap him on the back. He heard congratulations and as he stood a familiar Asian face came around the back of the station he'd been playing at. His heart was already beating at the speed of light and he didn't think he'd live to see another day.
Evan smiled and Jonathan had enough sense to let a smile cross his own face as his friend extended his hand towards him. There was silence as his brain went numb the moment his fingers slipped into Evan's hand. Literally nothing got past his ears, but he heard Evan.
"Good game, man."
Jonathan opened his mouth to speak, but his hand was shoved away by a group of people that inserted themselves in between him and his entire reason for even being there in the first place. He stood there, speechless, completely shut down and he caught Evan's eye through the small crowd for a brief moment. He watched him look away and start up conversation with the people in front of him.
He felt himself take a deep breath, his heart pounding like a drum.
It was torture. It took everything he had to move away from the small crowd that had gathered around Evan. He backed away because that wasn't who he was. He wasn't one to throw himself at someone he admired and make himself look like a complete fanboy in the process. It was embarrassing and when it came to meeting Evan, he was too shy anyway.
Jonathan stood off to the side with the tiny trophy someone had put in his hand for winning at some point, until a new crowd moved in to play and he was pushed further away from the one person he wanted to be close to. But there was nothing he could do so reluctantly, he turned and walked away.
It was kind of funny when he thought about it. Luke was right. He had a ridiculous embarrassing crush like a kid and his heart was jumping at the thought of him. He saw him, shook his warm hand, and that was as close as he was going to get.
It wasn't so funny anymore when he thought about it. Because it kind of hurt. If Evan had known it was him, would he have shook his hand and forgot about him just as easily?
It didn't matter. Evan did know who he was even if it wasn't as personal as he wanted, they were still the closest of friends.
Maybe Luke was right. Maybe he should've just told them he was coming. He should've at least told Evan and then maybe he wouldn't be walking away from him like a shamed idiot. He hadn't expected to choke at the fucking sight of him.
He was so stupid.
"Hey! Wait up!"
Jonathan heard heavy footsteps coming up behind him and turned only to feel his heart set off on a marathon once again as Evan came jogging towards him with a smile on his face. "Liam, right?"
Jonathan gathered his thoughts as practiced and smiled back before he said, "Yeah, it's Liam."
"I didn't mean to leave you hanging back there. They uh, kind of surrounded me all of a sudden. You played great, dude." Evan said nicely and Jonathan twisted his fingers around in his hand nervously. He was starting to sweat so he shrugged out of his jacket.
He gave a small smile. "No, dude. It's fine, totally understandable. I didn't want to get in the way."
Evan grinned when he saw Jonathan's shirt. "You weren't in the way of anything. It was actually them that were in the way."
Jonathan's mouth was dry. "Of what?"
"In the way of me trying to talk to you." Evan gave one of his short breathless laughs. "Come on, man. You kicked my ass in Call of Duty, that's pretty fucking impressive. Why would I shake your hand and just blow you off?"
Jonathan felt his face heat up, "I uh, don't know? Because I'm no one and I really have no idea why I even came here. I'm just a really big fan of yours and I admire you and I never thought I'd run into you and I'm really really nervous and I'm talking like a crazy person now wow holy shit. I've never been to a con before either so I'm fucking overwhelmed right now."
Jonathan took a breath and Evan was holding back a smile and he had no idea what that little cheeky grin was doing to him.
"Hey." Evan placed one of his firm hands on his shoulder. "It's alright. I was extremely nervous when I went to my first one, too. I didn't know anyone and didn't have any idea what I was doing."
He pulled a sharpie from his back pocket and pulled the cap off with his teeth. "Can I sign your shirt?"
"What- oh, um. Yeah, that'd be awesome." Jonathan said and chewed at his lip as Evan picked out a spot on the white V of his shirt. His left hand gripped him lightly on his side to hold him and his shirt steady and if Jonathan wasn't decidedly gay before then he undoubtedly was now.
He watched him sign Vanoss upside down and grinned when he added a smiley face.
"There." Evan stood tall once more, two inches taller than Jonathan, and admired his signature. Jonathan looked down again before he glanced up and caught his eye.
"Thank you, I appreciate it." He smiled and looked around hesitantly. "I'm not keeping you from anything am I?"
Evan shook his head, "Nope." He shoved his hands in his pockets, "So, want me to show you around?"
"Really?"
"Yeah, I don't have anything else to do. And I know it's hard to believe, but I'm actually extremely awkward. Most people just want to talk about my videos and after a few years that gets boring." He shrugged, "I like to talk about other shit, too, you know?"
Jonathan laughed. Well, Liam laughed because his laugh was not his own. It was genuine, but not his own. It felt weird.
"Come on." Evan said and they fell into step beside each other and talked as they snaked through the crowd. Evan stopped them at a few setups, showing him the ropes and explaining a few things to him. Time passed way too fast for his liking and he messed mindlessly with the lanyard around his neck.
"So. You play games?" Evan glanced sideways at him a chuckled. "Stupid question, I know."
"Yes. I play games." Jonathan smirked. "Xbox and PC."
"What do you like to play?"
"I think my favourite genre is horror, but I tend to play those alone. Honestly I like everything from Call of Duty to GTA to GMOD. Wide variety. I like shooters, adventure, scares. I just like to have fun." Jonathan said and slipped his jacket back on as they left the building. Evan did the same, pulling his black pea coat around him.
"Same for me. I guess you know that, though."
"Yeah, I do. I've been watching your stuff for as long as I can remember. You and all the other guys."
Evan's breath formed a cloud in front of him. "Who's your favorite?"
Jonathan shrugged nonchalantly. "Gee, I don't know. Who do you think?"
Evan laughed at his sarcasm, "So it's me?"
"Yeah, you're kind of the reason I got back into gaming. You and Delirious." Jonathan said and braced himself. "I know you probably get hounded by questions about him, but have you ever met him?"
Evan shook his head, "It's alright. No, I've never met him. I'd really fucking like to, but I'll always leave that up to him whenever he wants to show his face. That's his choice."
Jonathan nodded, trying not to laugh at the fact that Evan had no idea who he was talking to. "You guys seem close."
Evan grinned crookedly, "I have more fun with him. But don't tell any of the others that. And yeah we're kind of close. We talk everyday pretty much even if we don't play. We text and Skype all the time." He shrugged. "It is kind of frustrating that he's the only one I haven't met yet. I've debated just flying down and showing up on his doorstep, but he'd probably kill me."
Evan gave an unsteady laugh and Jonathan was feeling the heat in his face again. Evan had considered flying down to meet him without his permission and that alone had him reeling. It was twisting knots in his stomach just thinking about opening his door on a random Wednesday and seeing Evan just standing there with a smug grin on his face.
"Nah, I don't think he'd kill you. He'd be pretty fucking surprised, I'm sure. Then he'd probably give you a big bear hug." Jonathan licked his lips, "He seems like a softy."
"He does." Evan agreed, looking off at the buildings in the distance. "He talks a lot of shit, but I know how nice of a guy he actually is."
"Well, I hope you get to meet him one day." Jonathan grinned and Evan stared at him for more than two seconds this time. He got stuck looking back and bit his tongue, making his eyes look elsewhere. The concrete. Yeah the sidewalk was looking extra grey today, how nice.
Evan's phone went off and he watched him answer the call.
"Hello? Hey, no I'm outside walking around with a friend." Evan glanced at him and winked. Jonathan was about to lose it. "Oh my God, Tyler. Just meet me where we said we would. I'll be there in a little while. Yeah. No. OKAY. Tell Lui he can suck my ass." He paused and laughed at the noise on the other end of the call. "Yeah, yeah. I'll get there when I get there. Bye."
"You need to go?" Jonathan asked and Evan nodded.
"Fan meetup in about an hour, we'll tweet the location. I need to go find the guys." Evan stuck his hands back into his pockets and headed back towards the building. "I'll see you there?"
Jonathan snapped his fingers at him, "Absolutely. It was nice meeting you, Evan."
Evan smiled, "Likewise . . . Liam."
He turned and disappeared into the building, into the crowds and Jonathan was left stuck with the feeling of Evan's eyes raking over him before he had turned to go. And that smile, it was flirtatious. The way he had said his name. Liam.
Did Evan like him?
Hold up.
Did Evan like guys?
