Disclaimer : If I knew how to do a serious disclaimer, trust me, I would. I don't own avatar, and I'm not a psychologist, so the National Institute of Mental Health website and a school project is to blame for my little psychological rant at the end of the chapter.
There are some things about Avatar that it seems like where never going to learn. Like who taught Zuko to use the broadswords, where he learned to sew, and Combustion Man's real name (Only the claw knows).
So that's part of the reason I want to write this so bad. Another part is that I want to write and complete a full length feature-fic, though that's only a small portion. I think I've got it figured out.
The rest, well, to be quite honest, I'm looking forward to a Fitzy vs Lizzy confrontation between Zuko and Katara. I don't care how it ends, I just know it has to happen.
There Are Many Paths
Chapter One
Priorities
We are wind and water. We are ash and vapor. These are the only truths: Beauty and Impermanence. But these are enough to reveal my path. - Broken Saints
There was wind and water. There was earth and fire. And there was nothingness. This coin had two sides; the elements and the absence of them. It was not a game of dice, for if one was to fail, then so must they all.
So what on earth was Meilan doing in the gardens of the Royal Palace, while her less-than-enlightened brother snored against a pillar? Why was she waiting for the all-to-familiar footsteps that were approaching? For a reason not unknown, the soft scuffing reminded her more of scales slithering against stones.
And that was a divine truth, if there were any to be known.
The footsteps stopped, waiting to be acknowledge. They could wait a little longer. The Princess of Evil was patient, if nothing else.
But she did have her arrogance. Being ignored probably prompted her incivility. "I have a job for you."
Meilan never moved, never allowed a hint of annoyance find her voice. "Meditating."
"You mean, admiring the insides of your eyelids." Meilan could picture the princess, arms crossed and examining her nails, standing only a few feet away. She was becoming predictable. "You can do that at any time. In fact, you've been doing nothing else for the past few weeks."
"Your news gave me much to contemplate," Meilan replied easily. "Princess, I am in no need of funds. I am capable of alleviating my own boredom. I have no vested interest in this war. Bribery, for the moment, seems not the proper path."
"You can drop the monk act at any time. I'm sure you wouldn't feel that way if I doubled your salary."
"No way, man!" The masculine voice suddenly jumped into the conversation. "I mean, Princess Azula. Of course we —"
"Will consider it." Meilan opened her eyes. "Desperation affects us in strange ways. What troubles you?"
Disgust was not a flattering look on the Princess. "Were you sitting here through the entire invasion?"
Back to meditating. "No, actually. My brother and I took that opportunity to make dirty jokes about what the sun and moon are really doing during a solar eclipse. Did you know the Sun Warriors believed that an eclipse meant the sun and moon were copulating to produce stars?"
"Fascinating." Sarcasm dripped from Azula's voice. "I'm certain the annoying Water-Tribe dunce would love to hear you say that. In fact, why don't you?!" A false excitement entered her voice, but it quickly returned to a baseline. "The Avatar and his friends need to be taken out. I need someone who can think like an airbender to finish this."
The Fire Lord has grown impatient with failure after failure, from both of his children, Meilan thought. Expressing this sentiment aloud would be dangerous, if not fatal. "What shall I do with your brother?" she said instead.
There was a moment of heavy silence. "What brother?" The footsteps again retreated, leaving Meilan once again in contemplative silence.
((((((((((((((((o my neck hurts o))))))))))))))))
"You're not focusing."
Aang slipped out of his stance, turning to yell in frustration. "I am too!"
"If you were, you would be getting it right." Zuko was trying to stay calm. He was doing his best, he really was. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he said, "Try it again. Breathe, first."
"I'm doing exactly what you showed me, ok?! I'm trying my hardest, but this is still new to me!"
"You picked up the Dancing Dragon form pretty quickly."
"That was different!" The avatar threw his hands in the air, and Zuko was sure the boy would be pulling out his hair if he had any. "It's like it wasn't even Firebending! Now I can make fire, but I try the forms, and I know I'm not doing it right! So how am I supposed to fix it if you won't tell me what I'm doing wrong?!"
"Easy," the prince replied. "Try it again."
"That's not the problem!"
"It's exactly the problem!" Nice, Zuko, shout at the kid. But he was on a role now. "The reason Azula is as good as she is, is because she practices all the time. A firebender doesn't let anything stand between him and his goals. Now try it again."
Aang took a deep breath, and sighed, resuming his stance. He cleared his mind, of the war, of his doubts, his shame, of Katara . . . .
With an incoherent shout, Aang slipped out of his stance and began pacing back and forth. "I can't do this!"
"Of course you can. You're the Avatar."
"No, I can't! How can I save the world and create balance if I can't even keep the peace between my friends?! I failed at that, and I'm gonna fail at this, so why am I even trying?!"
Zuko's expression dropped. "I probably deserve whatever I get from her."
"I wasn't just talking about Katara! And you can say her name, you know. Say it with me. Ka-tar-a."
"Have you lost your mind?" It sounded like a serious inquiry. Of course, with Zuko, everything was serious, and had to be made perfectly clear, or he'd never understand it.
"No, but I will if this never ends! I can't think, because whenever I do, Katara just pops into my head, and then I can't stop thinking about her, and now I'm worried, too, because she hasn't been acting like herself for a long time! The worst thing is, I can't even talk to her about it!"
Think, Zuko, think. Not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, Zuko wished he had his uncle's help in this. His uncle could give him advice on giving advice. And why was the Avatar babbling this to him? "Why not?" he settled on, after running through a very short list of possibilities.
"It would just be awkward," Aang muttered, pacing again, but more subdued.
"It doesn't matter if it's awkward, you still have to deal with it, if you ever want to learn to firebend properly."
Zuko stood up to leave, and Aang said, "Does this mean we're done for the day?"
"No. We're just taking a break so you can talk to the waterbender and get it out of your system."
"What?!" Aang's mental health took a few leaps backwards, and if Toph had been nearby, her senses would have been overloaded.
"Didn't I already say? You're going to talk to the waterbender, and we're going to resume your training."
"No way!"
"Yes way."
"You can't make me do this!"
"Is something going on here?!" Aang paled when he heard the shout, but Zuko only smirked, before turning to the approaching waterbender.
"Actually, yes. Aang has something to tell you." And with that, Zuko slipped away, all his old grace and stealth from his Blue Spirit days back in action.
Aang watched helplessly for a moment, then turned back to Katara, who was looking at him curiously. Innocently. Totally obliviously. "What is it, Aang?"
"I . . . um . . . . I forget!" he shouted before speeding off after the prince.
A few minutes later, he didn't find him so much as 'was found.' "What was that?" he hissed, dropping down behind Aang.
"You were the one who just left me there!" the Avatar shouted in reply. "Seriously, what was that for?!"
"To force a confrontation," Zuko shrugged. "Have you ever considered telling her how you felt?"
"I already tried that! It didn't work!"
"Then try again."
"This is going to be a theme, isn't it?" Aang muttered despondently.
"Listen, Firebenders have the energy and drive to achieve what they want. If you can't pursue this girl, then you don't have what it takes to be a firebender, and I'm wasting my time here."
"Oh, gee, it's nice to know I really am a failure at life!"
"You are if you don't at least try to live it."
"Are you always this inspirational, or is Toph giving you lessons?"
A new voice entered the corridor. "Nope," Toph said, "but he is pretty good. Maybe I should consider it." She 'looked' up at Zuko. "But I will be charging per hour."
"How long were you here?" Aang asked.
"Long enough to get a headache from your vibrations, Twinkletoes. Sparky's right; you do need to get over this."
"But how?"
"Maybe by talking to her?" Toph shook her head, then turned back to Zuko. "Sparky, carry me back for dinner!"
During the short and rather brutal argument between Toph and Zuko, Aang attempted to gather the thoughts that had been beaten out of him in the past few minutes. He decided to escape the rabid matchmakers while he could, snapping open his glider before either could react.
It wasn't that he didn't want to be with Katara; anything but. He was terrified of how she might reply — no, it was how she would reply. After how she had responded to his kiss before the invasion, and how she had never brought it up again (he had been so sure that was what she was going to do when she stopped him from exploring the temple with Teo, Haru, and the Duke), it was no mystery that she didn't feel the same way.
There had never been a mystery. He had always known it — he just refused to accept it, until now, and he knew that confronting that truth would only make it real. He preferred his daydreams.
Just for a little while longer, he promised himself. Just a little longer.
((((((((((((((((o that's what she said o))))))))))))))))
It was the perfect excuse. It took not ten minutes for the twins to be packed and on their way, each quite ready to be rid of the caldera. "I tell you, the beauty of nobility is overrated. Three hot girls with cash, Meilan. Count 'em, three."
"A girl's prospects never stopped you before, Masao," his twin muttered in disgust.
"Yeah, it's probably more the fact that one of them is the crazy psycho princess of evil." Masao sighed, but his dismal expression immediately raised. "Well, off we go! There are other fish in the sea!"
Meilan rolled her eyes. "Never mind the fact that one of them is taken . . . ."
"You think I was talking about Mai?"
"Forgive my error, your highness."
Masao choked. "Mai?"
"Yes, Mai. She's depressing, she wears dark cloths, and she and Zu-zu like to eat face whenever they get a chance."
"Oh! That Mai. Nope, wouldn't date her, either."
"Quit being a retard. It's unbecoming. Besides, Mai deserves a little more respect." Meilan's voice sank. "What kind of idiot breaks up with a girl in a letter?"
"The kind of idiot we're being paid to take out. Dearest sister—"
"— Only sister."
"— What sort of money are we being paid for this excursion?"
"A butt-load of money, little brother."
Grey-green eyes narrowed momentarily. "What sort of butt-load?"
"Senator Park's butt-load. An Elephant-Koi's butt-load."
"A flying bison's butt-load?"
Meilan turned back, mischief glittering in her eyes, and Masao was looking into a mirror. "Now you're getting it."
They walked in silence, and then climbed in silence, communicating only as twins could, avoiding the worst of the destruction from the recent invasion. Standing on the lip of the caldera, the twins paused to view what they had the pleasure of missing out on.
Without the convenience of earthbenders, it took much longer to clear away the destroyed tanks, and Meilan almost shed a tear for the submarines. "Now those are inventions worthy of preservation."
Masao was silent a moment longer. "Sister, I'm having a thought."
"What is it?" she sighed.
"Father told us to stay at the Palace."
"Father told us to not draw attention to ourselves, which is precisely what two bounty hunters with nothing to do would accomplish. Besides, we have to assert our authority at some point in time."
"You mean like Zuko did, what with the betraying his family and what not?"
"I've got a plan, Masao. Don't think I don't."
"I know you have a plan. You always have a plan. But you never tell me, and that tends to cause problems."
"Fine. Step one : Ask yourself, what is Zuko best at?"
Masao thought for a moment. "Being a deuchbag."
"Ok, fine, what is he second-best at?"
"Whining."
"You see, this is why I don't tell you things."
"Failing at life? Losing his temper? Being oblivious? Come on, Meilan, is it a trick question?"
"Zuko is best at chasing the Avatar," the girl muttered through gritted teeth. "Meaning wherever he goes, our paycheck is sure to follow."
Masao nodded. "You know I was just being an idiot, right?"
"You and Zu-zu have that in common."
"Fine. What's step two?"
"Reach into your heritage. Where would a distressed airbender go?"
"Is this another trick question?"
"An Air temple, Masao."
"He's not that stupid."
"He's twelve."
"Well, no wonder Zuko always finds him!" Masao felt the need to make another sarcastic comment, but Meilan's mood was likely not improved. "Azula's problem was she always over-thinks it."
"While this is probably true, it is not the reason we're being paid."
"Right. Air Temple." Masao sighed. "Let's go hijack a rhino."
((((((((((((((((o Sokkalicious definition make them girls go crazy! o))))))))))))))))
"Twinkletoes had the same problem with earthbending." After the long silence, Zuko was almost surprised by the girl's voice(Almost as surprised as he was by the fact that she wasn't taunting him). "And he obviously never learned the lesson then, if he's having the same problem now."
"How did you solve it?"
"I taunted him for a while and made him face an angry saber-toothed moose-lion. It got the job done, but I don't think you have anything like that around here."
"And it probably wouldn't endear me to anyone." The prince thought for a moment. "There were the dragons."
"Oh, and that obviously did the trick."
"At least he can firebend now."
"Will that be enough to defeat the Fire Lord?"
Zuko sighed. "No."
They were silent a while, mulling over the possible ramifications of an unmastered element. "I can appreciate what you're trying to do," Toph said finally, "but I don't think it's the right way to go about it."
"Go about what?"
"Getting Aang to stop thinking so much about Sweetness. You're encouraging the behavior."
"But maybe if he gets it out of his system . . . ."
Toph blew her bangs out of her face, only to have them settle back over her nose. "Do what you want. It'll be entertaining, but it's not going to work. If anything, it might help him figure out some things about the Avatar State, but . . . ."
"Don't get my hopes up, right?"
"Pretty much. Anyways, before Katara can come to terms with anything else, she has to get over whatever's going on between you two."
"There's nothing going on between us."
"Yeah, obviously. She just hates you because it's good for her health." Man, this guy didn't even try to hide his emotions. It was almost embarrassing. And pitiful. Just enough to tug at Toph's conscience just a little. "You do know Sugar Queen will come around, right? She may be royally pissed now, but she can't hold a grudge forever. It's not in her nature."
"I deserve whatever I get from her."
"Including forgiveness, when it comes to that."
"If it ever does."
"But it won't stop you from trying to earn it." Toph allowed herself a smile. "You don't do things half way. I can respect that. But it would help if we knew just what you did to earn your place on her hit list."
"She never told you?"
"She gave us a run down of the fight in the catacombs. Everything else we sort of had to piece together on our own." The former prince of the Fie Nation was silent, sunk into some sort of reverie. "So what did happen between you two?"
"Nothing."
"Come on, even without feeling your vibrations, I know it was not 'nothing.' You are a really bad liar."
"Isn't it enough that I betrayed you all, and it almost got the Avatar killed?"
"For one, you're going to have to start calling them by their names . . . ."
"You never do."
"Correction: yes, I do. Just not often. Anyways, whatever you did hit Katara hardest, and — stop sinking into that infernal pattern! You're getting me depressed. What happened between you two?"
"Let's say it isn't nothing. That just means its even more unlikely that I'll tell you."
Toph sighed. "Have it your way, then. I'll just go ask Katara."
"Fine."
"I know it's fine."
After a few more moments of silence, Toph continued, "I just hope we can figure out something soon. Katara is what holds our motley little band together. Whatever bitterness she has will first destroy her, then us."
((((((((((((((((o Hi, there o))))))))))))))))
Wow, this is the longest single work I've ever posted! I'm proud of myself!
Blarg!! I've found the reason Zuko is an idiot! He has or had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder [PTSD!!
If you want, look at the symptoms. It can be caused by any number of harmful events, including child abuse, and I quote :
"People with PTSD may startle easily, become emotionally numb (especially in relation to people with whom they used to be close), lose interest in things they used to enjoy, have trouble feeling affectionate, be irritable, become more aggressive, or even become violent. They avoid situations that remind them of the original incident, and anniversaries of the incident are often very difficult. PTSD symptoms seem to be worse if the event that triggered them was deliberately initiated by another person, as in a mugging or a kidnapping."
. . . or in an Agni Kai. I startle myself sometimes.
But on to another topic, the topic of 'This is why Zuko is an idiot.' When a teenager develops PTSD, it can lead to learning disabilities, as well as a host of other mental disorders.
Hence, Zuko always has to figure things out the hard way. (I'm running a 'Blame Ozai' ad campaign.)
I know, I know, I need to stop trying to use logic, but think about it.
So whatever. Please review. I especially need to know how the OCs came across. (Masao means righteous in Japanese, and Meilan is the name of a girl in a Chinese love story/ tragedy.) They are going to be important to the story (not romantically; scouts honor I won't pair them with anyone), because they're part of how I explain away all the mysterious mysteriousness we haven't found out yet(even if they won't be appearing regularly)! And I'm going to ignore everything after The Firebending Masters.
And I'm not going to feel guilty about it one bit!
I already have this thing planned out, and I know what I want to happen. It's the 'writing it' thing that will take the longest.
As for pairings, wait and see!
Another part of this is I want to do a bit of a social/political/economic commentary on the Avatarverse, and what various people are doing right and wrong. My OCs will be the metaphors for that, and I need to know if I'm presenting their purposes well. (Not quite yet - this was just to introduce the twins and their temperaments. I'm sorry, but I absolutely adore them.)
Once again, please review.
