HALLOWEEN DEJA VU

"Stan...what are you d-doing?" I asked as my friends face got closer to mine.

"I don't know, but it feels...right."

I couldn't say anything before I felt warm, slightly trembling lips touch mine. They left a second later, making me whine, when Stan jumped back as if I burned him. From what could see of the brunette in the dark closet, he had four of his finger over his lips in..was it shock? I couldn't tell.

He kept starring at his feet. The silence was driving me crazy. I had to do something, say something, anything, it was just too quiet. I opened my mouth but Stan beat me to it. He looked at my forehead, not wanting to meet my eyes.

"I'm sorry. It's just...just that I-I really kinda like you. I have fo-for a long tim-time. I just didn't know how to show you. But I really like you. A lot. I-I think I love you Kyle." he starred back down at his sneakers. I couldn't look at his face, I couldn't speak, hell I could barely breath.

Truth is I really liked him too. Yeah, we've been best friends since kindergarten and now we're almost eighteen. Now that I think about it, I cant remember a time he wasn't there. I guess around the time we turned fourteen I finally realized that I was gay and of course, I liked Stan. He knew I preferred guys but he never knew the one I wanted most.

But Stan never struck me as gay. Never in our thirteen years of friendship had I expected him to go this way. And never had I expected him to return my feelings. Yet here he was. Kissing me, telling me he loved me.

"You hate me, don't you Kyle?" he spoke up, finally looking away from the floor. He looked expectantly at me, waiting for my answer. "I knew it." he sighed and went to open the closet door.

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back so he fell against me. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder. "I could never hate someone I love. I'm just surprised because you just did what I wanted to do for the last four years. I love you, Stan."

I heard his breath hitch and he wrapped his arms around my waist.

I lifted his chin and leaned my head towards his. Our lips were inches apart. I could feel his warm breath against my chin. He moved on the tips of his toes to meet my lips. His nose touched mine...

I sat up in bed breathing heavily. My sheets were damp. It had been a dream, it was nothing more then a dream.

I cursed to myself. I always had dreams like that. Just about every night, the same thing. I sighed sadly and got up to start my morning routine. At least today was Wendy's Halloween party. That could take my mind off Stan. I still needed to get my costume too.

I got in the shower, washed quick and got out to dry off. I wrapped the towel around my waist and crossed the hall to my room just as a rock hit my window.

I knelt on my bed and looked outside. Fuck. The same person I wanted to forget for the day was on my front lawn. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"What's up dude?" I called down to him. He smiled up at me and I blushed. Thank God he couldn't see it.

"I still need a costume for Wendy's party tonight. You wanna go with me?" he yelled.

Fuck. Fuck. Fucking fuck.

"Sure. I gotta go anyway. I'll be down in a second, I just gotta change."

He crossed the yard to wait at my front door.

Okay calm down. We're just going to get costumes. Its not like a date. Besides, he's going out with Wendy.

I looked down sadly. He was going out with Wendy and the way things looked, he was going to marry her too. I didn't have a chance in the world.

I threw on an orange shirt, a pair of ripped jeans and black converse. It wasn't too cold out so I just got a black ACDC hoodie.

I half ran half fell down the stairs, said goodbye to my mom and Ike and ran out the door, almost knocking over Stan as I fell. I stood up, a string of curses flying from my mouth. Stan was behind me, laughing.

"Dude, what's the hurry? It's just costume shopping." he put his arm around my shoulder to keep himself from falling over with laughter.

"Lets just go, can we?" I started walking ahead to hide my blush. Damn Stan and damn my fucking hormones. Every time he touches me, I feel weak at the knees. Damn it all to hell.

I nearly jumped when Stan had his arm around my shoulder again. I looked over at him, expecting to see a smile or even a smirk, but hes frowning at his shoes instead.

"Wendy and I broke up. We figured it wasn't working out, mainly because I like someone else..." he refused to look at me while he talked and a small blush was forming on his cheeks.

I tried my hardest not to smile, it would piss him off if I did, but my mind was going insane with happiness. I had a chance! It may be small but it's better than nothing, right?

"It's okay, Stan. At least your not hurting her, right?" he nodded and looked up again. "So...who do you like anyway? Do I know her?"

He immediately dropped his head again.

"It's not...yeah you know them...really well." he mumbled

Yes! Yes! Yes! I have a bigger chance now! All I have to do is get that other person out of the way so he'll focus on me. That shouldn't be too hard. How many people do I know "really well"...oh right, everyone in South Park. Fuck! Okay maybe if he describes them to me I'll figure it out. "So, uh, what are they like? What do they look like?" I asked making sure not to sound too eager.

"Well they're really nice, especially towards me. They make fun of people sometimes but they protect them too. They have green eyes and longish hair. His moms kinda nosey, but its funny for the most part. And they're really good at basketball." he stopped in front of the small party store and he opened the door to let me inside. I gave him a small thanks and walked in. It was the same as every year. Stupid costumes of stupid characters from stupid movies and stories. Honestly, who wanted to be manbearpig?

Oh well, we'll just have to make due, again. Stain found a pimp cane and a purple jacket with neon green cheetah print on the inside. He put it on and did a little pimp walk around the store. I found him a fuzzy purple and green hat to go with the jacket. He put it on and laughed at his reflection in the mirror. I couldn't help but smile softly at his laughter. It was so cute.

I picked a black and purple corset. I had a pair of tight black jeans at home to wear with it. Stan looked at me, blushed, then looked away, pretending to examine a pair of gloves. I smiled to myself. I didn't know who he liked but I knew how to get him to tell me. Tonight. At Wendy's party.

We paid for our costumes, we were going to be a pimp and his hoe. We walked to his house and ordered some Chinese food from City Wok. We plopped on his couch and he turned on Terrence and Philip: Asses of Fire.

He laid down with his head near my lap. I could feel my cheeks heat up. I looked down and even though he was facing the television, there was a blush forming on his cheeks too. That's new, usually Stan doesn't blush, but today hes been blushing almost every 5 minutes. Weird...

Our food came a few minutes later and we ate in silence. Eventually we changed in to our costumes and headed out for the party. Stan was quiet on the way there, he looked nervous. Probably because he had to see Wendy again.

"Hey Stan. We don't have to go to the party if you don't want to see Wendy. We can go to my house if you want." I put a hand on his shoulder and he leaned against me a little.

"I'm just worried..about..stuff..." he looked at his feet and kept walking. I followed behind watching the back of his head. He definitely wasn't worried about seeing Wendy, it was something else. What the hell was it? Maybe it had to do with the person he liked?

"Are you sure? Is it about that person you like? Are they gonna be here?" He didn't answer, he just kept walking toward the house. I caught up to him and spun him around. He looked up at me and I noticed the slight blush he'd had all day darkening. "Stan, please tell me. Maybe I can help...I want to help. Please..." Tears started in my eyes, I blinked them back. I hated not being able to help Stan.

"You can't help...it's not your fault...I just have to figure this out on my own...I'll be fine by the end of the party though. I promise..." he looked away from me again. I put my hand on his cheek and I swore he rubbed against it.

"Okay. But we're leaving the second you look too stressed." he smiled up at me. "Kay."

We walked up the driveway to Wendy's house and rang the doorbell. After a few seconds she answered with a smile.

"Hey guys! Your just in time for seven minutes in heaven. I know it's a kiddy game but its fun sometimes, right?"

We both nodded and went to sit in the large circle of teenagers. A few seconds later Craig and Bebe came out of the closet, Bebe's cheeks a dark shade of pink. She went over to sit next to Wendy and some of the other girls and they quickly put their heads together to discuss what happened in the closet.

Craig was still standing at the closet door, looking at each person in the circle. His eyes stopped on me and Stan. He smiled wickedly. "Stan and Kyle. It's your turn to go in there." he pointed over his shoulder towards the room he had just exited.

Stan blushed deeper then ever before and I'm sure mine wasn't too light either. We both stood up and walked into the closet. I jumped when Craig closed the door behind us.

The second it was closed, I saw Stan cross his arms over his chest and close his eyes.

"Hey umm...we don't have to do anything if you don't want to...I don't mind...really." but he was leaning closer to me.

"Stan...what are you d-doing?" I asked as my friends face got closer to mine.

"I don't know, but it feels...right."

I couldn't say anything before I felt warm, slightly trembling lips touch mine. They left a second later, making me whine, when Stan jumped back as if I burned him. From what could see of the brunette in the dark closet, he had four of his finger over his lips in...was it shock? I couldn't tell.

He kept starring at his feet. The silence was driving me crazy. I had to do something, say something, anything, it was just too quiet. I opened my mouth but Stan beat me to it. He looked at my forehead, not wanting to meet my eyes.

"I'm sorry. It's just...just that I-I really kinda like you. I have fo-for a long tim-time. I just didn't know how to show you. But I really like you. A lot. I-I think I love you Kyle." he starred back down at his sneakers. I couldn't look at his face, I couldn't speak, hell I could barely breath.

Truth is I really liked him too. Yeah, we've been best friends since kindergarten and now we're almost eighteen. Now that I think about it, I cant remember a time he wasn't there. I guess around the time we turned fourteen I finally realized that I was gay and of course, I liked Stan. He knew I preferred guys but he never knew the one I wanted most.

But Stan never struck me as gay. Never in our thirteen years of friendship had I expected him to go this way. And never had I expected him to return my feelings. Yet here he was. Kissing me, telling me he loved me.

"You hate me, don't you Kyle?" he spoke up, finally looking away from the floor. He looked expectantly at me, waiting for my answer. "I knew it." he sighed and went to open the closet door.

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back so he fell against me. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder. "I could never hate someone I love. I'm just surprised because you just did what I wanted to do for the last four years. I love you, Stan."

I heard his breath hitch and he wrapped his arms around my waist.

I lifted his chin and leaned my head towards his. Our lips were inches apart. I could feel his warm breath against my chin. He moved on the tips of his toes to meet my lips. His nose touched mine. Finally our lips met and I couldn't help but smile against his. This was the happiest I had ever been.

I forced myself to pull away from him when someone knocked on the door. He whined a little and I agreed with him.

"Guys? Its been way over seven minutes. Can you come out now? Or are you two too "busy"?" Wendy's voice came from the other side of the door.

"Too bad we're not somewhere more private, huh?" I whispered in his ear. He laughed quietly so the people in the other room couldn't hear him.

"Come on we better get out there. They might try and video tape us..." We both looked at each other and laughed. "Hello?! Are you guys alive?! Hello?!" The knocking started again and Stan linked his fingers with mine. I squeezed his hand and opened the door.

All eyes in the room drifted to our hands and most of them widened while other people started clapping. Stan bushed and I smiled giving his hand another squeeze. He squeezed mine back. We went back to take our seats after making Kenny and Cartman go in the closet. Cartman came out with a black eye and was clutching his groin. They sent Butters and Craig in and both came out about the same as Stan and I had. It continued until Stan started to fall asleep laying on my lap. I shook him awake and helped him walk to my house. My parents wouldn't care if he slept over. Though they might care if they find him clutched to me as if our lives depended on it.

I made sure to lock the door as Stan took off his jacket and hat and I took off the corset. We practically jumped on my bed before laying down. He snuggled in to my chest, I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed his forehead. He lifted his head of my chest and kissed me quickly before hiding against my chest again.

My eyes started to close on me. Oh well. I knew what would happen the next day. I smiled as my eyes gave up on me and closed completely and I drifted off to sleep.

The next morning I woke up to find Stan facing away from me. I smiled at his back and pulled him close to me. I smiled as I kissed the top of his head. Then I remembered the dream I had the night before. It was exactly the same thing that happened in the closet at the party.

I laughed to myself. I thought I didn't have a chance in the world with him and here he was sleeping next to me. I laughed a little out loud and Stan stirred but didn't wake up. He rolled over and nuzzled the crock of my neck. I kissed his head again.

This was definitely the best Halloween South Park could give me.