Author: Afeni

Summary: Neji is suffering…

Disclaimer: I don't own characters and the song 'Behind Blue Eyes'.

You

No one knows what it's like

To feel these feelings

Like I do

And I blame you!

You. Only you and always you. My eyesight is almost unlimited, but I only see you. I hate you as much as you can hate someone, but in the same time the painful love is squeezing my heart and it doesn't left me alone even for one second. I don't know what there is in you, but I cannot let go. It's like I'd be cursed… or maybe it's that. I was born to serve your family, but I live only to serve you.

No one would believe me, if I told my deepest thoughts and most painful desires. Everybody thinks that I'm cold and tough, they don't even want to think that I could be something else. Rock Lee and TenTen might know me better than others, but even they don't know, who I really am. No, no one doesn't know what's on my mind, to who my heart is beating, whom does it want.

I'm so alone. I'm lost in the sea of feelings and I'll be drowning soon, because I don't know, how to swim to the surface. Nobody can understand my feelings. Could you? I think so. I think that you are the only one, who can understand me, truly realize, what I have to say.

You just don't see me. Actually you see me, but you don't really notice me. Sometimes you say something polite to me, but the only time, when you really notice my existence was when we fought against each other. How much I hated you and how much did I love. I almost smothered to my own pain, when they took you away. What if you have died? Would there be anything in my live anymore?

Emptiness. Yelling, clattering emptiness.

You fill up my days. Your sweet short hair, which leaves your back of the neck bare, makes me crazy. Or maybe it is your neck. I would like to kiss it even once. I would like to examine it with my lips very slowly, painfully slowly, until you'd beg me to kiss your lips. Then I'd turn you around and press you to my embrace. And I'd kiss you like it would be the last minute of our lives.

I'm looking at you again. From distance of course, because I don't want you to notice me. Actually I'd like you to notice me, but I'm afraid that I'd shatter if you look me even one minute too long. You're leaning to the fence and staring to the distance. I'd like to sneak behind you and fulfil my dream.

I wander closer to you. I move silently in the shadows. You don't notice me, although as ninja you should, but you are too concentrate about something else. I place myself on the tree above you and you don't yet react to my presence. You are too incautious. You should be more attentive, because I don't want to lose you.

I let my glance wander through your body. So beautiful, so perfect. I wish I could touch you.

I mark that your cheeks are glowing red. Surprised I follow your glance. Burning hatred flashes inside of me, when I look further. Blond hair and orange clothing, I want to tear them up. Now I understand, why you never notice me. Naruto! Him of all the people. Why? What does he have that I don't?

I jump to the ground. At least you turn your head and see me. The red on your cheeks goes even deeper.

"N-neji-sama?" you say your voice shaking. Your shyness is so sweet that I could die because of it.

"You should be more careful. The real ninja doesn't let her feelings come before her observation skills," I say and my voice oozes hatred.

"I-i am sorry."

I snort heartlessly and left you next to the fence. As I said, the real ninja can hide his feelings. They are meaningless, they are just burden. I have no feelings. I'm cold and touch. I'm exactly everything that everybody thinks I am.

No one knows what it's like

To be the bad man

To be the sad man

Behind blue eyes