A/N: I stopped watching the show a couple seasons ago, but I follow along with the gifs and commentary on tumblr. I don't know any of the finer details but I am aware that Jane is leaving for the FBI in DC (rumored? But most likely?) and Maura is staying in Boston. And this was just begging to be written. I am rusty, I apologize.
Disclaimer: Don't own. No money. ETC.
…
Jane had given herself a week.
One week to fully and completely decide if this was what she truly wanted, or if her dreams lay elsewhere.
Dreams.
That was such a concept to her. She was in her early forties – frown lines enhanced around her eyes – it was weird that now, she was thinking about hopes and dreams and her future. Where had the rest of her life gone? It was like one day she woke up and here she was.
She sighed, rubbing at her tired eyes.
Two more days and her one week would be up.
She was still at a loss.
She leaned forward, elbows resting on knees, a beer bottle in one hand as she contemplated the small piece of paper on the coffee table in front of her.
DC was written on one side and Boston was on the other.
Stay.
Go.
Essentially those were her options. She was now sitting at a crossroads she never expected to be at.
Do something.
Don't do something.
Yes.
No.
Consequences make those questions and answers lose their simplicity. No one could tell the future, no one really knew what came next. People could make guesses – educated decisions and they could be right most of the time but not one ever really knew. And that was where Jane's inaction found a home – in the unknown, in the fear that it caused. She was stuck in this crux between choices, between worlds. She – the go-head-first-into-danger, take-no-shit-detective – was worried that she couldn't handle whatever lay on the other side. Every time she thought she came up with a solution, with an answer – every time she grew closer to the edge – and unfamiliar fear paralyzed her.
With a growl of frustration Jane shoved the paper across the table and sank into the couch.
…
Jane was thankful that the party was winding down. Albeit, a little too slowly for her liking. She batted at a streamer that had fallen from the ceiling. It all felt a little bit ridiculous. The party was a surprise. No one knew that she hadn't given her official answer, hadn't signed on the dotted line, or given up her Detective's shield. They just assumed that she would take the offer. Why wouldn't she? That was the question.
She had still yet to have an answer.
More hands patted her on the back with congratulations, breaking her out of thought. She smiled and nodded a thanks as they left. Despite the offer of free drinks, she'd been nursing the same beer all night. Her mind too preoccupied, she didn't even notice the amber liquid had gone warm.
The door chimed again and her eyes immediately shifted to that direction. The excitement she felt bubbling in her chest dissipated quickly when she didn't recognize the people that walked through the door. One person – or rather two – had been inconspicuously absent from the festivities.
Her mother wasn't there.
Neither was Maura.
"If you're really going to DC, don't leave anything unresolved."
"If?" Jane looked up into the soft eyes of her old partner. He had seen her at her worst, been with her through some of her darkest and brightest days. Shifting her gaze away, she fiddled with the label on her bottle.
"You should talk to her."
"Vince." She warned. Heat slowly rose up the collar of her shirt and bloomed across her cheeks. He could always read her like a book, and this was no different. Her heart began to hammer in her chest. She took a long drink from her warm beer, grimacing as it went down.
"You owe it to the doc at least." He nodded solemnly before turning and helping another bar goer.
Jane lost track of the hours she sat there at the bar surrounded by streamers congratulating her and wishing her luck. Eventually, she got up from her barstool and walked to her car.
…
The car seemed to have a mind of its own, because a few minutes later she was pulling into the driveway of a nice Beacon Hill home and not her own apartment. Fear and something else entirely gripped at her heart and didn't let go, but as she saw lights flicker inside she found herself moving.
One week.
She had all of seven days to list the pros and cons, to weigh her options and the only thing she'd been able to write down on the DC side was no Maura. That was it. After that she forced herself to forget about it and push it to the back burner. Because it wasn't just about not having her best friend. It was so much more than that. Maura was so much more than that. She didn't have the words, the right terminology to fully capture whatever it was that they were but it was something else, something different.
And Jane didn't want to lose that.
Was it worth turning down an opportunity that was sure not to come her way again? The biggest of career advancements?
"Yes." She surprised herself by answering out loud.
Seven days and here she was making one of the biggest decisions of her life on a dark porch after asking herself one simple question.
Shaking her head at herself, she pressed the doorbell.
Jane bounced on the balls of her feet trying to calm her nerves. The deadbolt slid, and she was illuminated by the glow of the porch light.
Maura was standing on the other side of the threshold pulling her robe tighter around herself to ward off the chill of the night air. Hazel eyes squinted at her, blinking slowly. "Jane?"
Jane's breath caught in her chest. Her heart suddenly felt out of rhythm – all bass drum and booming. They stood in silence for a moment before Jane finally found words. "Why do you always look like you're about to do a photo shoot?" Jane's nervousness eased as the corners of Maura's lips twitched upwards and she stepped aside, allowing Jane to cross the threshold and be with her.
...
A/N: Thanks for reading!
