Surviving
Genre: Character Study, Episode Related
Rating: PG
Characters: Teal'c, Vala
Summary: Vala's always found ways to survive whatever comes her way. But now Daniel's missing and nothing's working...
Notes: occurs after The Quest and before The Shroud
Surviving
Vala broke not long after Adria took Daniel. The frantic feelings, the depression and anxiety, they made no sense to her; she was a survivor. She had survived having her childhood stolen by a father more interested in what he could get from her than what he could give her. She had survived having her life stolen by Qetesh, and being the one left to bear the consequences of the goa'uld's actions. She had survived having her daughter stolen by the Ori.
But Daniel allowing himself to be taken by Adria - because Vala knew he had known damn well he couldn't beat her - was one insanity too many in her massively insane life.
And so when Teal'c found her tearing apart Daniel's office in the middle of the night and had the audacity to question the importance of the scrunchy that she needed to find, she found herself suddenly flying at him with a wild yell. But when scratching and hitting met no resistance, they quickly turned to shaking and sobbing.
Without a word, Teal'c led her to his quarters and held her as she poured out her fear in partially formed sentences, in silences, in looks. Adria was part her and part Ori, and what chance did Daniel have against that level of duplicity or cruelty?
When the words stopped coming altogether and the tears had dried to salt tracks on her cheeks, Teal'c stood and slowly and methodically lit each of the many candles he kept in his quarters. At his subtle invitation, she joined him on the floor, tucking her legs beneath her. She knew this wouldn't help her, but she owed Teal'c for his patience and understanding. So she would sit and be quiet while he meditated. And when it was done, she would tell him it had helped and leave to go find something, somewhere to patch herself back together.
She watched the shadows dance in the quiet flickering light. Her eyes were drawn to the movement of Teal'c's chest rising and falling, and she felt her own breath slow and deepen in unconscious mimicry.
Vala opened her eyes when she felt Teal'c's hand resting gently on her shoulder. A quick look showed her that the candles had burned down significantly. She slowly got to her feet, feeling quiet for the first time since... she couldn't remember when. It felt different. It felt... almost good.
Confused, she walked to the door, but turned before she opened it. "Thank you. I..." She couldn't bring herself to ask, because she didn't think she could take the rejection that was sure to come.
Teal'c still stood in the center of the room, almost smiling as he nodded. "I would be most honored if you would join me again, Vala Mal Doran."
Turning back to the door and blinking rapidly, she answered, "Yes, well, I'll think about it."
Not even the raised eyebrows of the passing airman who saw her slipping out of Teal'c quarters at 3AM fazed her. Let them think whatever they wanted to.
She had always been a survivor.
But maybe now, it was time to start living.
