But I was blind
I couldn't see
The world there right in front of me
But now I can, Yeah

Because I lost it all
Dead and broken my
Backs against the wall
Cut me, open I

Just trying to breathe
Just trying to figure it out
Because I built these walls
To watch 'em crumble down
I said
Then I lost it all

Who can save me now

Black Veil Brides - Lost it All


No matter how many years passed them by, it was always on the back of Frieza's mind. Waiting, waning, and then coming back full force whenever he noticed that his human was ageing… as they all did.

Frieza never liked to think about it.

Frieza often refused to think about it.

He was like that a lot with his problems, if he was honest with himself. But this one he managed to ignore a good 15 years into their relationship.

One day, however, the icejin noticed that Yamcha was eyeing his hair with some surprise while in the mirror. He came over to inspect what exactly he was looking at, and the human could only chuckle a little sheepishly.

"Look," he held up the hair he had plucked out of his head - it was silver.

"Looks like I really am getting older, though at least we'll match soon."

Though Yamcha had spoken with good humour about his increasing age, all it did was give Frieza a slap in the face of reality that he had very much not wanted at all. He didn't want to face what it meant, nor what it would lead to.

Yamcha blinked in surprise when Frieza seemed to freeze in response to his little quip at his own age. The icejin reached up and slapped the silver hair out of his hand, also to his shock.

"How can you say that so casually?" the icejin spoke, and gritted his teeth as he clenched his fists, "I don't want to know about it!"

"O-oh…" Yamcha's eyes were wide as he looked at his partner. He had never really seen him this upset looking pretty much ever, except the one time Kuriza had gotten sick… but this was different.

"I'm sorry," he offered, in the hopes of soothing Frieza, but it didn't really work. If anything, he just looked up at Yamcha with something in those red eyes of his, before he looked away.

A while ago, when Frieza had started noticing Yamcha ageing, he had said that he would gather the dragonballs and make their whole family immortal.

But Yamcha had declined.

"I don't want to live forever," the human had said awkwardly, "I just… I don't think I could live for so long, and outlive everyone I care about…"

"What about ME?" Frieza had demanded angrily, "and Kuriza, and Saffron?!"

Yamcha had looked guilty when he replied, "I don't want to leave you guys… but I can't change my lifespan. Not like that. And not to match yours. I've seen what that has done to humans before, and the result is never pretty."

To live beyond his years… it was a scary, daunting thought. It was the inevitable clash he knew would come when it came to his husband, who was so much more long lived than he.

Humans were temporary. So, so very temporary.

"I'm going to pick up Kuriza," was all Frieza said in the present before leaving the house, leaving Yamcha to sigh at his own stupidity.


Going to the Briefs compound nowadays wasn't such an annoying prospect. For one, Bulma greeted him normally rather than with disdain, and her flea bitten monkey of a husband stayed well out of his way. It was how Frieza preferred it, frankly, especially with the mood he was in currently.

He went inside to find that both of his children were walking out from where they had been training or playing with Bra and Pan, whatever it is they got up to. The sight of his children put a smile on his face, at least, and he called them both over.

"Papa, what are you doing here?" Kuriza asked as he came over. The young icejin had since mastered the use of transformation, and normally remained in his first form rather than his true one. His sister, on the other hand, preferred her natural form, much like her papa now did.

"I'm here to see Bulma - do you know where she is?" he asked, and Bra was quick to speak up, "she's in the lab right now! Want me to take you to her?"

"No, thank you," he shook his head, "I appreciate the offer," he glanced at his children, "you two make your way home, now."

"Okay, papa," they chorused and went to leave outside. Frieza watched as they left before he moved on himself.


The lab wasn't hard to locate, and he put his hands in his stylish hoody's front pockets. Sometimes, he liked to dress more casual, although for him that usually meant something obscenely expensive that looked normal.

He opened the door to find Bulma hard at work on something or other in the computer. She looked up and blinked in surprise at who was at her door, "Frieza, er, hello! What are you doing in my lab? Your kids both left, didn't they?"

"Yes, and took your spawn with them, no doubt to invade my house and my fridge," Frieza shrugged and smirked as he said at much, though from his tone it was clear he no longer cared, "I actually came to see you."

"Well, this is unusual," Bulma snarked back. They got along better now, admittedly, though Frieza suspected it was because of Bra. Either way, he didn't care.

"Indeed," Frieza sighed and grew serious, "I would like to borrow the Dragon Radar."

"Eh?" That came as a surprise. Frankly, both Bulma and herself had assumed that Frieza would've collected the orbs a long time ago in order to wish himself immortality, but it seemed as though he had done no such thing. Frankly, for him to even come and ask for the Radar was something of a surprise.

"Why do you want that?"

"To play Pong on it," Frieza deadpanned, "I need to make a wish on the dragon, and before you annoy me with assumptions, no, it's not immortality nor anything sinister."

"Oh." Well, that answered some of her questions, though not all of them. Including what it was Frieza was going to wish for, though she had a feeling based on his expression that he wouldn't say even if she asked.

"As long as you promise not to make an evil wish, I'll lend it to you."

"Hmph," Frieza huffed. She couldn't make him promise anything.

"I will call Whis and have him summon Beerus on you," she warned further.

"Ch, fine, you vile woman," Frieza walked over and snatched the Radar out of her hand, "be grateful I'm only putting up with you because you're useful."

"You're welcome," she snarked right back. As the door closed, she muttered to herself, "prick."

"Bitch," Frieza grumbled to himself at the closed door, and teleported out of the compound.


It didn't take long to find the dragon balls. Frankly, to Frieza, it was remarkable that such powerful artifacts simply laid on mountain sides, or in animal nests… it barely took him a few hours to find all 7 of the balls.

He took the balls to some far off abandoned island, well away from anyone or anything. The timezone there was also night time, so hopefully it wouldn't cast any areas that weren't night time… into night time.

He set the spheres down and said softly, "arise, Shenron, and grant my wish."

They glowed and came to life as the mighty dragon appeared before him. He was not filled with any form of joy or happiness at the sight of being able to have three wishes granted. He merely looked serious as Shenron stared at his summoner.

"I AM THE ETERNAL DRAGON SHENRON," He spoke with his usual deep, booming voice, "STATE YOUR WISH AND I SHALL GRANT IT."

Frieza took in a deep breath, and let it out. He looked up at the dragon, and spoke, "I wish for you to grant the human Yamcha with the prime of his youth, and good health…" he balled his fists, "until the day he passes on naturally."

"YOUR WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED," Shenron's eyes glowed as the magic took effect, "PLEASE STATE YOUR TWO MORE WISHES."

"No, thank you," Frieza shook his head, "that will be all."

"AS YOU WISH," Shenron vanished, and the balls scattered into the wind. Frieza watched them go, and he could feel his nails dig into his skin.

'This will be enough,' he thought to himself, though he didn't believe it, 'it has to be enough.'


Frieza returned home. Yamcha looked pretty much the same as he always did, though admittedly slightly younger than before he had left the house. If anything, it was similar to how he had looked when they had married officially, since Yamcha seemed to be blessed with good genes in that he didn't age a great deal.

After Saffron had been born, they had brought a new, larger house that had enough room for both of their children and themselves. It was two stories, so the couple could have some privacy from their children, who were on the bottom floor.

The old house remained in their possession, as it was to one day become Kuriza's house, once he decided he wanted to live on his own. Frieza knew the day would come eventually, whether it be now or later, they would be ready.

"Oh, Frieza!" Yamcha set down the knife he had been using to cut up a carrot, and came over to his husband with a worried look, "I'm really sorry about this morning. Um,"

"Don't worry about it for now," the icejin sighed, "I just don't like the reminder that you're going to die long before I do."

'At least you'll be healthy for the rest of your short life, my dear human…'

"I understand," Yamcha offered him a small smile, "though, earlier today, I felt this biiig rush of energy! Like I suddenly got hit with some kind of beam! Feels really good, I hope it lasts."

Frieza had to smile at that - so Shenron had done it, had he? Good.

"So do I, Yamcha," the icejin offered and flicked his forehead, "that was for this morning."

"Ow!" he rubbed his head, "fair enough…"

"Now, what's for dinner? With two saiyans in the house, I take it you're making a feast for an army?"

"You have no idea…"


Yamcha, his dear, silly human, never found out about the wish Frieza had made. He decided that he must've just had awesome genetics when all his friends began to age while he stayed youthful. Bulma was certainly jealous, of him and of Goku and Vegeta, who while approaching their 60's now, looked the same as they always did.

It was only when Tien brought it up that Yamcha decided it might've been a little odd that he still looked 35 while in his 50's, but he didn't question it further, and put it down to good luck.

As the years passed, as they always did, Frieza stayed on Earth as much as he could, to be with his husband. Time was growing ever shorter, and no matter what, he couldn't change anything. He couldn't change the clock, or fate, more than he already had.

Kuriza grew up and moved out soon enough. He decided eventually to travel space as Frieza had once done, while his sister stayed on Earth as she grew. Eventually she, too, left Earth to wander the cosmos. It was in their blood to travel the stars, though both icejins returned to their birthplace often.

As Yamcha once did, the family protected the planet, along with Bra, Pan, Trunks and Goten. The newest generation of Z Fighters was powerful indeed, and Frieza's children were forces to be reckoned with. Enemies didn't dare come to Earth anymore, but around they remained. Just in case.

Vegeta was the first to pass on, excluding Master Roshi. He had been the oldest, so no doubt it was expected. The rest all slowly followed, until Yamcha was one of the last remaining. Puar had even passed on before him, which had broken Yamcha's heart.

Shenron's wish held true, and Yamcha lasted well into his 90's before he, eventually, went to bed one last night. He seemed to know, because he held Frieza close to him, and kissed him on the head.

"I'll always love you," he had said softly, before closing his eyes.

He never opened them again.

Frieza didn't sleep that night. He merely held Yamcha close and listened as his heartbeat faded out to nothing. As it did, he felt something in him die, too.

He took Yamcha's body to be cremated without a sound, without a word. He had even made an appointment there a week before. It was as though he had sensed that Yamcha would pass soon, and it seemed he had been right.

He took off Yamcha's wedding ring, the one he had given him, and merely watched as his husband's body was engulfed in fire.

Frieza received the urn not long afterwards. He nodded to the staff there, paid them and left.


The icejin returned back to his home on autopilot, cleaned it, and put away everything and anything of value under lock and key. He then locked the entire house up, and left, Yamcha's ashes along with him, but they were all that he took except for a small bag, Beerus's cloak, and some other important items in said bag.

He had already put his affairs in order, including telling his children that their dad had died. It was the most he had talked in the last 24 hours, though at least, the pair had expected it, like Frieza had.

The house would remain where it was for at least another two thousand years. He had paid that far in advance for the land contract, and good luck to anyone on them trying to break it.

Before he flew off, he looked at the house he had shared with his husband for the past 50 years, and then left.

It felt empty.

He felt empty.

When he left Earth, he knew he would not return for a very, very long time.


In his spaceship, he set it to a planet that he hoped still existed. He had a feeling, deep in his gut, that it did. He set it to autopilot, and then entered cryosleep for several long years.

When he woke up, he had landed on a double ringed tropical planet. No matter what, even if he hadn't been born here, his body knew… his mind knew.

This was his home planet.


His cape in place, and his belongings in his bag, he flew to where the main castle was. He walked inside like he owned the place, which, technically, as the only remaining member of the Royal family, he did.

Many of the icejins around (of which there were a lot more than his father had once told him) were shocked to see Frieza, and the current steward of the throne was as well.

"Prince Frieza!" he stood up to bow, "my, many happy returns! I had heard rumours you were alive, but you never came, and…" he looked at the necklace around the prince's neck, "and congratulations are in order!"

Frieza didn't even blink. He just raised his hand and shot the steward in the shoulder with a small ki blast, causing him to scream.

"I doubt any of you even tried to look for me," was all the prince said, ice in his tone, "not that it matters. I'm here now, and I am married, so that makes me your King. Now, step aside, before I destroy you."

"Y-yes… my lord…" It was all the steward could do but run out as Frieza stepped up to the throne, and turned to his subjects with the same cold look.

"I may have been gone for some time, but I have been back longer than you could ever know," he began, "I will assume my birthright, under my own power, and," he jabbed his free hand to the crest on his shoulder, "under the power of the Gods."

It was enough to get the rest of the attendants to pledge loyalty to their returned King. Frieza didn't even bother to have someone coronate him, he merely took the king's crown encased behind the throne, and put it on his head.

This was his home.

His planet.

His people.


It only took a day to get everything sorted, and news of his return had spread throughout the planet. Frieza knew all of the laws, and it didn't take him long to update himself on any new ones that had been passed. His Grand Vizier was adapt at his job, and he merely let things continue as they had been, something that relieved the staff and subjects as well. The cruelty and depravity of the royal family was well known, but it seemed as though Frieza had been through many, many changes.

He merely signed off and accepted things as they were.

He wasn't in the mood to induct changes.

He doubt he would be for some time.

As he set up his new bedroom, a room far more grand than his home on Earth, he set the urn containing Yamcha's ashes in a beautifully carved cabinet, his wedding ring next to it, and closed the door.

He hung up the wedding certificate that Yamcha had been so proud of on the wall, and also put his bag down beside a small dresser. It seemed as though some icejins had taken to wearing clothing while he had been gone.

Frieza set his crown aside on the table beside his impressive four poster bed, and fell onto the soft, expensive bedding.

The whole place was beautiful.

It was his planet.

But it wasn't home.


He had been offered concubines, as was traditional for the king, when they went through their cycle in order to produce more of their line if so inclined. Frieza declined flatly without even so much as considering the offer, as the last thing he needed in his life right now was that.

His Grand Vizier thought it strange, as the other kings had relished in company during their cycles. Frieza merely offered him a very cold glare in response.

"I don't want, nor need that sort of service, ever. " There was no room for argument.

The topic didn't come up again.


Frieza spent a few years attending to his planet. He didn't think. He didn't feel. He simply did. Many said they had never seen their king smile. Some had tried - they had either been spared, or killed heartlessly.

None tried to humour him after that.

Even if at times Frieza was merciless, many found him to be a just and fair king. Many also knew there was something bothering him, almost always.

None tried to ask.


Frieza made no friends on his homeworld. He merely got to know it, and got to experience it. He ignored calls from Whis for years, until one day the angel, fed up with the non replies, merely showed up where the icejin was on his planet, which at the time had been on a grassy hill, overlooking the vast land he now ruled over.

"So, this is where you've been," the angel huffed, "I've been calling you for years. Your destroyer work has piled up."

Frieza didn't even acknowledge him. The cape he always wore merely rustled in the soft breeze.

"Frieza?" Now Whis was concerned. Stabbing remarks? He was used to. Being snarked at or laughed off? He was used to. But the pressing, deep silence that stretched between them? He was not used to that.

And that was when he realised… how much time had past since he had been to Earth? Had Yamcha…

"...oh…" now Whis understood.

Yamcha had died. Long, long before Frieza would.

He walked over to the king and sat beside him. He could see the icejin's face, now. His expression was blank, as though carefully masked, but his eyes… they were dull.

He didn't know what to say, but he knew something needed to be done. He reached over and took Frieza by the shoulder.

"Come on," he offered with a little shake. Frieza blinked and looked at the angel, and nodded once.

He grabbed Yamcha's ashes back at the castle, and placed it in the small, worn bag. Frieza put it over his shoulder, and turned to Whis. He put his hand on the angel's back, and they left the planet.


Years passed in a haze. Frieza barely remembered what day was what. He merely followed what Whis asked him to do. His God of Destruction powers grew, and it was with some surprise that as they did… he was unable to reach his silver form anymore.

He decided it no longer mattered.

He blew up planets, but even their fireworks merely passed him by. The glow reflected in his eyes, but they did not reach him.


Ten years passed by before he saw Kuriza and Saffron again.

They had been fascinated with their home planet, and greeted all the staff with friendly greetings. They were just glad that Frieza's children were far nicer than he was.

They sat with their father on the hillside, and they told him about their adventures through space. The fun they had had, and Frieza felt envious of it.

"I miss dad every day…" Kuriza said softly, and Saffron nodded, "but I know he'd want us to have fun, right Saffron?"

"Yeah… he always loved to play with us," she smiled, and looked at her papa, "he'd hate to see us sad."

Frieza knew this. He knew this to his core. He knew Yamcha would want him to be happy. He had said as much - to go out there and enjoy the Universe. To live life to the fullest.

But he couldn't.

Not anymore.

"I'm sure he would."


Eventually, he spread Yamcha's ashes into a nebula cloud. He watched as the grey dust slowly drifted in to mix with the cosmic gases, and watched further as a solar wind from a nearby star blew the dust to start the process of creation.

For the first time in twenty years, he smiled.

"Now you'll become a star someday, my dear human…"


When he went back inside his spaceship, he collapsed on his bed. He couldn't stop it as his eyes let loose tears they had held back for over twenty years.

Tears he had not been able to shed.

Tears he never thought he would.

Grief poured out of him until his throat was raw, his tears dried up, and his head ached, but the pain in his chest finally began to ease.

The pain he had ignored for twenty odd years.


Several hundred years later, he returned to Earth.

The world had changed, and yet, remained the same.

His houses still stood, but were ravaged by time. Frieza went in to his own house and looked around.

The scent had changed, and everything was dusty. The power had been shut off long ago.

He went into his bedroom and saw it had been left exactly the same as so long ago, though it was dusty now.

Time had passed.

He didn't travel with it.


Frieza crowned Kuriza the next crown prince, and his sister the crown princess. He was King, and he could do that if he felt like it. Both of them seemed to like the idea of ruling together, and Frieza could only smile at that.

He was glad that he had chosen to have Saffron, along with Kuriza. He loved them both so, so much more than they would ever know. Even though he felt as he did, he never stopped contacting his children, and keeping them up to date.

They were together nearly always.

He was glad that they loved each other so dearly.

He only hoped that would never change.

It didn't.


Age caught up to him eventually.

Frieza found he didn't care.

Over three hundred years had passed by since Yamcha had left his life. He had lived on, and continued to be a good father to his two children. To raise them and guide them, all the while doing destroyer work every now and then.

At one point, he contemplated killing Beerus and just taking the role from him. He sometimes went on rampages before destroying a planet, destroying and killing and enjoying watching the blood splatter on his body before he eventually took the planet down.

He found it no longer satisfied him like it once did. It infuriated him… not to mention the scolding he got from Whis about the mess he came back in when he returned to Beerus's world. The angel always fretted over him, and tried to make the icejin feel welcome.

It wouldn't satisfy him.

Nothing ever did.


He passed away young for an icejin, and oddly small. Most of them continued to grow, slowly, like trees the longer they lived. But Frieza did not seem to really care too much about growing, or ruling, or anything else, after a while.

One day, he simply curled up in the garden, his favourite place on Beerus's world, oddly, and fell on the flowers he once despised. Mostly because he knew it'd piss Whis off, and also because he was just so tired that he just… wanted to sleep anywhere.

Frieza had told his children goodbye via telepathy, and his mind slowed down...

His eyes closed… and he felt his body fall away from him.


Whis had been calling for him before he went over to the garden. He spotted the icejin curled there, and went over to scold him before he realised he had no life signature.

Frieza had died with a small smile on his face.

Whis could only hope he had found some kind of peace, before he left to talk to King Yemma.


(play for maximum effect)

Before he knew it, Frieza was back in Earth's hell.

At least, he thought that was where he was. He wasn't hanging from a tree, though… he looked over to find the tree far away. He was definitely in the same field, though.

Why wasn't he hung up?

Why wasn't he being punished for eternity?

The icejin walked. He didn't really know or care where he walked, just that he did. Over the mounds, through the flowers, past the fairies of hell, past the tree he had once been hung from…

He looked up at the sea above him and jumped up. He found he could fly, and flew up into the water.

Frieza looked around at where he was underwater, and for the first time in a long time, he looked around where he was. This underwater field was part of hell… it reminded him of Earth.

He continued up through the layers.

He found purgatory and snake way. When he did, he looked ahead to where King Yamma's place stood. A familiar sight, one where he had been condemned to Hell no less than three times, if he counted his near death experience from when he had been chopped to pieces from Namek exploding. He had barely hung onto life then.

How tenacious he had once been. It was almost shameful… but he no longer cared.

He flew to King Kai's world, and that was where he finally landed. While the kai freaked out, Frieza merely held up his hand, "stop."

"What is it? What do you want?!" the kai yelped. Even after all these years, he was still a bit scared of the former tyrant.

"Do you know where Yamcha is?" was all Frieza asked.

"Oh…" that was unexpected, yet welcome. King Kai coughed and told him that Yamcha's soul was with his friends, in the sacred Kai's world. Frieza sighed.

There was no way he was going there, and he knew it.

Was this how it would end?

"One moment-" it seemed that the North kai had received a call. He nodded a few times, and said, "yes, Frieza's soul is here, why?" he nodded a couple of times, and looked completely shocked, "a pass?! But-" Frieza huffed as he watched the kai nod a few times more, "alright then, I'll let him know." The 'call' seemed to end.

He turned to Frieza then, who merely glanced at him, and said, "you have permission to visit there."

That was unexpected for the icejin, and the ice that had formed around his heart from the years of being alone formed a crack, "oh. Then…"

"Fly straight up from here, right to the top. You'll get there," was all the North Kai said before Frieza did as was instructed.


It took some time to reach the land of the Supreme Kai's, but once he landed, it reminded him very much of Beerus's world, and a little of Earth. He looked around curiously, taking in the scene before he heard a very familiar voice call out to him.

"Frieza!"

His heart leapt into his throat as he turned around, and there standing before him was his sensible, handsome, silly human. He looked the same as ever, just like the day they had met, with a halo above his head, just like Frieza, and he waved a little at him.

"Hey."

The icejin found himself frozen to the spot as the human came over to him. Frieza had grown a little taller with his age, but he was still shorter than Yamcha. He looked up as his late husband came over to him, and he looked at him with his ever present smile.

"You're a little taller," Yamcha offered.

"You're the same as ever," Frieza said softly, almost on default. He had been running on autopilot for hundreds of years, in many ways, and he found the ice around his heart shattering far too fast. There were so many emotions swirling up within him, so, so many.

"Hehe…" Yamcha scratched his cheek a little bashfully, as he always did. He was still wearing his wedding ring, and Frieza still had his necklace on. He pulled Frieza into a hug, his arms curled around his lifemate's back.

"I missed you," he said softly, "I'm sorry."

For dying so young, for leaving Frieza alone to live for hundreds more years… all by himself.

"I should've stayed longer… I'm sorry I couldn't,"

Frieza slowly reached up and gripped the fabric of Yamcha's shirt, his body trembling as he remained silent. His body was welling up with so many emotions… anger, resentment, grief, longing, love… so so many things.

"Idiot…" the icejin's voice choked up as tears spilled down his face. He buried his face in Yamcha's shirt, his grip on him tightening as he held back the noises in his throat. He didn't want anyone to hear him, even if they were alone on this vast world. Yamcha had wanted it that way.

"I talked to the Gods…" Yamcha said softly as he stroked Frieza's head, "as long as you're with me… as long as you promise not to hurt anyone… you can stay here." It had taken a lot of sway to do it, but he had managed it, only because, through their love… the Gods could honestly say Yamcha saved not only Frieza's race, but Frieza himself, too, from eternal damnation.

He felt Frieza nod against his shirt, and gripped him tighter. All his emotions came flooding out, and eventually he could no longer hold back the choked sobs that came out of his throat. He couldn't say more, he couldn't speak for a long time.

He didn't realise just how much he had loved his human. How much he had needed him. How much he had cared.

How much Yamcha had changed his entire world.

How much Yamcha became his world, along with their two children.

He didn't know how long they stood there in this holy land. He didn't care. He felt Yamcha shake as tears fell from him, too, though he laughed a little every now and then in joy. He finally had his husband in his arms again, hopefully for a very long time to come.

"It's okay now," the human said softly as he stroked Frieza's back, "everything will be okay."

Frieza didn't know when his tears finally slowed, but eventually, he pulled back a little and dried his face. He looked up at Yamcha, who smiled, as always.

"I love you."

Yamcha blinked. The words had caught him off guard. In life, Frieza had never said that to him, though Yamcha always knew it.

"Frieza…" he almost felt his eyes well up again.

The icejin smiled, and for once, it reached his eyes, and they glowed once more like shiny, beautiful red currants, "I love you, my silly human."

"Oh wow," Yamcha wiped his face as he laughed; more tears had come out, "I wasn't expecting you to finally say that. You trying to make me look bad?" he joked.

Frieza merely chuckled a little himself, and he reached up to wind his arms around his husband's neck, "maybe a little."

"I knew it…" Yamcha could only hold him back, and he leaned down to meet his lifemate's lips in a gentle kiss. When they did, Frieza finally knew where home was.

It wasn't Earth.

It wasn't his world.

His home all along… had been Yamcha.