I have almost no recollection of the day that I arrived to Besaid and even less of the boat ride that brought me here. I barely remember waking up surrounded by strangers and the few days that followed. It's like one of those dreams where if you don't try to remember it, you'll eventually forget completely. That's kind of how the rest of my life is; the life I had before I came here. I know I existed before this, but it feels like a dream I had or a story that someone told me. It feels like it happened to someone else. I came here partly by accident, and mostly out of blind grief. I thought I would die here. I almost did. Instead, I found a new life.
The young Drill Sergeant spent most of his time secluded in his cabin rather than out enjoying the ocean scenery like the rest of the passengers. He didn't hate the sea, but he didn't much care for it either. It had been about six months since his last visit to the tropical island of Besaid. He hadn't anticipated going back so soon. Part of him thought he would never get sent back.
'Those slackers,' he thought to himself as he remembered the Aurochs he'd been sent there to train. He'd probably have to start from scratch with them. Despite his experience and training, disciplining the Aurochs had proved an exceptional challenge. He doubted they kept up with it in his absence.
It was late in the evening and the boat was scheduled to arrive by early next morning. He should have been taking this time to rest. He tried to convince himself to do so, but he was too listless to lie down and fall asleep. He hated feeling this lack of control and weakness. He was a fierce warrior, not some restless child. And yet, he could no longer deny that a space had opened up inside of him. Not understanding what it was, he let his work consume him, but to no avail. This black hole that had found its way in him, he realized, was loneliness.
