Bad Medicine Pt 1.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the GI Joe characters.
Chapter One.
AN: This is a prequel of sorts to my story Hawk's Holiday. It explains a few of the events leading up to that story.
GI Joe HQ: The PIT, Arizona. 1035hrs.
Lt. General Clayton Abernathy, or General Hawk, was having a really bad day.
This was not an unusual occurrence, granted. Between dealing with the bozos at the Pentagon who were constantly telling him how to run his command, not to mention a few of the clowns under his command would drive anyone to drink.
The last few days had been worse than normal though. He had spent the last week or so at the Pentagon in the company of the 'Jugglers', a secret committee of 4-Star Generals and Admirals that virtually ran the US Armed Services. Hawk had little doubt that when they had originally formed years ago, they had the best of intentions. To use one saying 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'. But the maxim that best described the Jugglers would be 'Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.'
Being the only 3 Star General in the Jugglers had several disadvantages, but he managed to thwart them as much as he could through guile, cunning, outright blackmail, and a bit of dumb luck on occasion. Last week though, they managed to really get under his skin.
They wanted to cut his budget as usual, this time by a ridiculous 35% or more. This time though they came armed with information about some of the Joe's recent setbacks, the loss of over 30 people on Cobra Island, the failure to capture Serpentor or Cobra Commander, and of course, Snake-Eyes and his latest hare-brained escapades. They had presented their findings to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, The Secretary of Defense, and finally, The President of The United States.
Hawk ended up on the defensive, a position he detested. With a lot of pleading, cajoling, and a bit more blackmail, he managed to talk them out of not cutting back his budget too badly. But a 15% cut hurt a bit so several sacrifices would have to be made, most notably in personnel replacement.
Although the way certain personnel at the base had been acting lately, sacrificing them, preferably on a large altar with Hawk using a big knife and a bowl to hold the hearts, was starting to look like a good idea.
The boredom that usually hit the Joes in between missions had hit in a big way. Shipwreck, Leatherneck, Wet Suit, and a few others had managed to level the rifle range, again. He had explained it to them several times, 'the rifle range is for rifles the artillery and bazooka range is for artillery and bazookas. Never try to mix the two.' You would think they would have figured it out by now, but nooo.
Then there was the lab. Emphasis on 'was'. The lab was completely destroyed after Duke allowed Blowtorch, Airtight, Tripwire, and a few of the other resident mad scientists to perform some experiments, the same experiments that resulted in a lab table being vaporized, literally. Duke must have been half asleep, or drunk, when he gave the okay that was the only reasons Hawk could see for Duke giving them permission so easily.
By the time he figured it out, it was too late. He was about to run down there when Barbeque called him from the former lab. Duke, to his credit, didn't shoot any of the guilty party, at least not yet.
With this entire mess going on, combined with falling flat on his face during morning PT, a Greenshirt making him spill his first morning coffee on himself, and a few other factors, suffice it to say anyone who saw Hawk storming down the halls saluted respectfully, scurried out of his path quickly, and otherwise kept quiet as if their very lives depended on it, which was most certainly the case.
Unfortunately for Hawk, fate was about to make everything that had happened to him thus far seem like a welcome relief in comparison. The intervention took form in 3 things, a maintenance person, a freshly mopped floor, and a flight of stairs.
Hawk came storming out of an office, and headed towards his own. He had just finished having a blazing row with his Command Sgt. Major, Beachhead over some trivial matter or other, and was headed towards the stairs that would take him up to his private office, a path, which took him over the aforementioned mopped floor.
This wasn't the maintenance man's fault, as Duke would state in his report later. He was just going about his daily routine, as he had always been, for as long as anyone could remember. He did his job, never complained, and never took sick days, day in, day out, with very little variation, which was amazing considering where he worked.
He had just finished that particular stretch of hallway and was changing the water in his bucket, when he heard the scream. That was not part of his normal routine. He turned off the water and went to investigate. Rounding the corner to the hallway he had just mopped, he noticed a few telltale signs that something was wrong. Footprints that traveled from one end of the hall next to the 'Caution: Wet Floor' sign, part way down the hall where the person hit a particularly wet patch, then skidded the rest of the way and down the steps.
The maintenance man started to get nervous as he peered down the stairs. Several years without an accident, and now this happens, he thought. As he was afraid of, there was a crumpled, but still breathing, body at the landing 3 floors down. He cautiously made his way towards the person, while calling for assistance on his radio.
"Can you see who it is?" The voice on the other end asked.
"Yeah, it's…" His voice faded as he saw who had fallen. Visions of firing squads danced in his head.
"Well, who is it?" The voice demanded irritably.
"General Hawk." He croaked in reply.
There was a long pause. "Oh shit!" The voice exclaimed.
"You can say that again." The maintenance man replied. He figured that he would be calling in sick tomorrow. And the next day as well.
Sickbay, 2 hours later.
Lifeline was nervously pacing back and forth waiting for the arrival of Duke and Flint. Stretcher, his corpsman, sat at his desk and watched him.
"You know, I should be allowed to shoot you with a paintball gun when you do that." Stretcher remarked casually as he went back to his magazine.
"How can you be so casual at a time like this?" Lifeline asked with a hint of exasperation in his voice.
"Practice." Stretcher replied with a grin.
"Hello! In case you hadn't noticed, we have the C.O. of the GI Joe team in sickbay!" Lifeline was almost shouting as he waved his arms around.
Stretcher sighed. "Relax, man. He took a tumble down the stairs. Could happen to anyone."
"But it's' not 'anyone', its' Hawk!" Lifeline was getting even more excited.
Stretcher sighed again and stood up to his full 6'4" height. The former Olympic weightlifter walked up to the unit M.D. who flinched under his gaze.
"Lifeline, you are my boss, and my friend, but if you don't sit down and relax, I will be forced to sedate you." He said in a firm voice. Lifeline got the hint and sat down and quietly fidgeted. Stretcher looked satisfied as he sat back down and picked his magazine up again.
Duke and Flint finally showed up 5 minutes later. They had just finished debriefing the maintenance man and a few others, including Beachhead. They told the maintenance man that it wasn't his fault, and gave him the week off to recover his nerves.
"How is he?" Duke demanded without preamble.
"He's asleep now. He has a minor concussion, and he banged up his back a bit, but otherwise he's okay." Lifeline replied.
"That's a relief. We don't need Hawk out of action for too long." Flint said.
"We're going to keep him in sickbay for a few days for observation, but he should be fine after a few days bed rest, and a few visits with the chiropractor." Lifeline added.
"You sure you guys can handle him? He has been a bit irritable for a few days, so he may be a bit difficult." Duke said.
"We can handle him, don't worry." Stretcher replied with a confident smile.
"But if you could send Scarlett, or one of the other ladies to help out, we'd appreciate it. They were a big help the last few times Hawk was in here. They did a good job of boosting his spirits." Lifeline said.
Flint chuckled. "We'll see what we can do."
"What the hell is going on here?" Hawk bellowed from the next room making everyone jump. They all rushed in to see that Hawk was awake and trying to get out of bed.
"What am I doing in sickbay? So I took a tumble, big deal. Let me out of here, now! I have work to do." Hawk tried to stand but the pain in his head and lower back made him flinch, and he nearly toppled over. Stretcher caught him and easily put him back into bed.
"I'm sorry sir, but you sustained a minor concussion, and what looks like a few strained or pulled muscles in your lower back. So I'm afraid that you're going to be our guest for a few days." Lifeline tried to smile, but the look Hawk gave him effectively wiped the smile from his face.
"Don't worry, a little TLC, a little bed rest, and you'll be as right as rain in a week or so." Stretcher added cheerfully. Lifeline stared at him wondering how he could be so cheerful when his carrier as a Joe was about to come to an abrupt end.
"A week! This place will fall apart completely by then!" Hawk shouted, wincing in pain.
"Flint, Beachhead and I can keep things going while you're here. We already have the lads rebuilding the rifle range and the lab in order to keep them occupied. Just relax and enjoy your impromptu vacation." Duke said in what he hoped was a reassuring way.
"Yeah, we'll have Roadblock make you a nice dinner, and we'll wheel in a TV, DVD player and a pile of shows to watch. Anything to make your stay comfortable." Lifeline added with his fingers crossed behind his back.
Hawk glowered at their smiling faces, than he relaxed a bit. "I suppose I could use the rest." He sat and pondered a bit. "Fine, I'll try to relax. Just get me some stuff from my office." He winced in pain again. "And could you give me something for my back, please?"
"We have some new stuff that just got approved by the FDA, for sore muscles and the like. A friend of mine in Johns Hopkins Hospital recommended it highly." Lifeline went over to a cabinet and came back with a bottle of little pink pills. "Take one of these every six hours and don't take more than four of them in one day. He also said that you shouldn't take them with coffee."
"Fine, whatever. Just give me one for now and we'll see what happens." Hawk said. Stretcher poured a glass of water and handed it to Hawk, while Lifeline handed him a pill. Hawk took the pill with the water then sat back and relaxed. Within a few minutes, the pain in his back subsided, and he relaxed a bit. Soon he was asleep. The others went back out to the office.
"He should be okay in a week like I said." Lifeline stated.
"That's good. We'll keep the children occupied until then. In the meantime well have someone bring Hawk the stuff he asked for." Flint said before he and Duke left the sickbay, leaving the medics alone with their patient.
While Hawk slept, a large TV with a DVD player was quietly wheeled into the room, and Hawk's briefcase was brought in as well. After the TV/DVD was set up, the Joes doing the setup left as quietly as they came in.
A few minutes later, Firewall, one of the team's new computer specialists came into sickbay. Despite his gruff demeanor, she regarded Hawk as kind of a father figure, and in turn, Hawk had taken a liking to the young computer hacker.
"How is he doing Lifeline?" She asked while peering in at him while he slept.
"He's going to be fine. What do you have there?" Lifeline pointed at the disks in her hand.
"Oh, these? Just a couple of DVDS I made up a few days ago for Hawk. We were talking about, of all things, old cartoons on TV, and he mentioned that he liked some of the old Hannah-Barberra stuff. So I recorded all of the episodes of this show called 'Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law. It features a bunch of the old characters acting way OOC. It's a bit risqué, but I thought he would get a kick out of it." She said with a smile.
Lifeline smiled back. "I'm sure he will, thank you. I'll be sure to give them to him when he wakes up. He'll appreciate the gesture I'm sure."
"Thanks Lifeline." Firewall hugged him and gave him a peck on the cheek, causing him to blush before she left.
Lifeline chuckled a bit. "Ah, youth." He mused aloud. He placed the disks on top of the pile by Hawk's bed and checked in on the sleeping General.
It's going to be an interesting week. He mused.
He had no idea how right he was going to be about that.
TBC.
