Disclaimer: I don't own nothin', especially when it comes to the Disney series Kim Possible.
A/N: Yes, I'm back. I had a bit of a problem with my hard drive, (it totally crashed and lost half of the stories I'd been working on and a lot of research I'd gathered) and it's taken me a while (understatement) to sort it all out and start over again.
This is a short little one shot/drabble that came to me when I was IM'ing with someone about the different stories on this site concerning Monkey Fist. It takes place a few days after the last scene of the series where all of the villains are in the coffee shop talking.
So, without further delay, I give you...
Love and Marriage: DNAmy Style
Xxxxxx
"I'm sorry Miss Hall," Pastor Davis Righteous said, sadly shaking his head at the pudgy, gap-toothed geneticist sitting across from him at his office desk, "but it wouldn't be legal."
"I don't care if it's legal or not," Amy Hall, also know to Global Justice and a few other law enforcement agencies around the globe as DNAmy, huffed in annoyance at the man-of-the-cloth. "I know he can't respond when asked but he would have said yes if that mean old Yono hadn't turned him into stone. I just don't want to live in sin when I take him back to my lab... Er, I mean my home."
Pastor Righteous stood from behind his desk and circled around to get a closer look at the six foot tall stone sculpture. The fearful expression on the very lifelike statue was most impressive, though he wondered why the short plump scientist would commission such a ghastly look and want to marry it. The hairy looking hands and oversized hirsute feet were also a turnoff, at least to him.
The Pastor had read about quite a few other weird quirks and foibles when it came to Kim Possible's foes, so DNAmy wanting to marry this statue didn't sound all that strange. He let out a resigned sigh, put a happy smile on his face, turned to Amy and pleasantly said, "Well, I suppose it will be alright, especially with the generous donation you're making to the church. That will definitely help replace our old, worn out carpeting in the sanctuary."
"I thought you'd see it my way," Amy smugly said, mostly to herself, as the Minister circled his desk and sat down again. She knew the bribe, er, donation would swing the deal.
"Okay." Pastor Righteous crossed his arms and leaned on his desk as he asked, "What type of ceremony would you like? Are you going to exchange rings?" He pointed to the statue's outstretched left hand, wondering if they made rings that large to fit the stony finger.
"No, no," Amy Hall waved off the notion. "My Monkeykins is a Martial Arts master in Monkey Kung Fu so he wouldn't be able to wear a ring. It would get in the way if he needed to fight."
"Oh, of course," Pastor Righteous nodded along, but not seeing how a stone statue would be able to participate in any type of activity, let alone one of the martial arts variety.
"Now," the Minister said as he got out a file folder from a desk drawer and extracted a few different forms from it. "What is your future, um, spouse's name?"
"Oh," the overweight parolee gasped as her demeanor brightened considerably. "My Monkeykin's name is Montgomery Fiske, but he prefers to be called Monkey Fist."
"Of course," the Minister thought as he jotted down the name on one of the forms. "That's why the statue's feet and hands are so big and hairy. They're suppose to represent monkey paws."
After filling in Amy's information, he looked up at the fat geneticist and inquired, "Now, who and how many will be attending the ceremony, and who will be your witness?"
"Ooooh," Amy pondered for only a second before she said, "It will just be me, Monty and his twelve disciples. And one of them, Chippy, will be the official witness and my Maid of Honor."
"A disciple is called Chippy?" Pastor Righteous begged in disbelief. The only disciples he knew of were Matthew, Mark, Paul, John etc. (At least in his religion.)
"Oh, Boys!" DNAmy called out over her shoulder to the open door of the office. Twelve small, furry monkeys dressed in the black attire of a ninja noisily scampered into the room, hooting and screeching. A few leapt up to swing from the ceiling lighting fixtures while a couple more started sparring in one corner of the room. The only monkey not dressed in a shinobi shozoku, (i.e. black ninja garb) was clad in an ugly green frock. It scampered up to the desk, sat down beside Amy in the chair next to her and broadly smiled up at the pudgy animal gene manipulator.
Pastor Davis Righteous looked on in awe and confusion at the chaos going on in his office for a few seconds before he slumped to his desk, arms covering his head, as he thought, "And I had to disappoint mother by NOT becoming a doctor!?"
-30-
