Author's Note: I wonder why I haven't thought of this earlier. Should have done it long, long, long ago. Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

Chronicles of the Sereitei Philharmonic

By annyenil

"Everyone, please take a seat." Ise Nanao lifted her spectacles nervously and watched as shinigami filed into the room one by one and sat down, some chattering away, while others simply carried a "don't call me I don't care" look on their faces. She bowed to her Taichou, who then sat down and called the meeting into order.

"Friends, Shinigami, Countrymen-and women, lend Nanao your ears, please." Kyouraku Shunsui gestured to the room as his audience gradually soften down, some dozing off into deep slumber, others displaying more interest in their nails than they had ever. Nanao stood up and took a bow, 'H-hai. Good morning everybody. Today, this Gotei Thirteen meeting has been called for, as we all know, the funds set appropriated for this year's Division Events have been drained due to the many trips and teams sent out to the real world, as such, we have to fundraise."

A collective groan swept through the room as the shinigami each buried their bored faces in their sweaty palms: blame the stuffy spring rainy days. Not only has that, but the Gotei Thirteen Fundraisers have always been known to be flops. The purpose of the fundraiser is actually more to showcase the talents of the taichous, fukutaichous and selected officers more than anything else. And the shinigami present were all very clear-minded self-effacing people who claimed, and it has been proven, that they have no distinct talent other than swinging swords and shooting spells.

"Why are we still doing that?" Abarai Renji raised his hand, raising his complicatedly entailed eyebrows, "Remember last year's bake sale?"

A collective shudder swept across the room. Yeah, last year's bake sale had proven that the Gotei Thirteen Officers are definitely not meant to be bakers. Actually, it hadn't started too horribly. The flour, the sugar, the eggs, they went in and mixed pretty nicely. It was until Yamada Hanatarou added in the baking powder and put the mixture in the oven, then it became lethal. Very explosive. It had taken over months to fix up the shattered kitchen of the Eighth Division and Shunsui had conveniently disturbed Ukitake Jyuushirou for dinner for those few months. Jyuushirou's cough had worsened very much so ever since. Retsu Unohana later discovered that the said culprit had bought baking soda instead of baking powder.

"But we did earn quite some money last year." Matsumoto Rangiku voiced, spilling her lucrative assets over the expensive pine wood desk.

"That was because……" All eyes in the room turned to glance at Zaraki Kenpachi, whose contributions were much appreciated. If not for him, none of the distorted lumps of rock-hard dough would have been sold. His tinkling bells made Sereitei Cookie the most popular (rather, most feared) product of the year. Just the sight of the bulky taichou and his devilish fukutaichou were enough to make any ordinary shinigami purchase at least a hundred of the deadly concoction, two hundred if Kenpachi dropped in a menacing eye. (And five hundred if he raised his arm.)

"But, Nanao-san, for as long as I could remember," Jyuushirou chuckled to himself and coughed a little, "These fundraisers had only shown that we taichous and fukutaichous cannot sing, dance, bake, cook, write poetry, write novels, pole-dance, sell things and hold funfairs."

"Oh, the funfair." Hinamori Momo giggled, and a round of suppressed chuckles went around the room, excepting an extremely annoyed Hitsugaya Toushirou. "Ukitake, can we please not bring the funfair into the picture." The funfair had been held a few years back, and Rangiku had brought back an absolutely adorable costume from the real world. It had long, pink and flurry bunny ears, a big, cuddly dummy and large, clown paws. The problem was, she had never been one to check sizes when buying garments for others. And so, the only person in the Gotei who could fit into the costume was……Toushirou. (Though many suspected deliberation on Matsumoto's side) Even till today, many children in Sereitei still refer to Hitsugaya Toushirou as the Bunny Taichou. The memory of it alone was excruciating enough, Toushirou thought as he wiped off the perspiration from his forehead.

"Ahem." Nanao cleared her throat, "This year, we have a fool-proof plan."

The room fell silent, now interested in what Nanao had to suggest. After all, it was hard to imagine what could take place that was not either a complete calamity or a year-long laughing stock. Nanao pushed up her spectacles, allowing for a moment of dramatic pause.

"As we all know, the Shihouin clan had long been collectors of shinigami artifacts and weaponry. However, recently, Yoruichi Shihouin-sama had unearthed a family collection of real world instruments imported from the West and had donated the entire collection to us for the purpose of this funraiser."

"Instrument? Instruments of torture?" Kurotsuchi Mayuri suddenly sat up from his originally slouched position, his voice containing a strand of excitement. Nemu couldn't help but shrink a little in her seat.

"No, Mayuri taichou. Musical instruments." Nanao glanced around the room with a slightly satisfied smirk faintly passing over her lips. "For this year's fundraiser, we will be forming an orchestra!"

"ORCHESTRA?" Everybody's eyes opened wide.

"You must be kidding, Nanao-san. Most of us are tone-deaf!" Matsumoto Rangiku raised her hand indolently, "Have you ever heard Hisagi-san and Izuru-san sing when they are drunk?" She drawled and eyed the men next to her. Hisagi Shuuhei and Izuru Kira both shot her indignant glares. A murmur was growing in the room, and it became louder and louder, till the meeting was submerged in a chaos of boisterous discussion.

"What is an orchestra anyway?" Renji asked Hinamori, who rolled her eyes and replied, "Have you forgotten the Modern Studies we took? An orchestra is a bunch of people playing music together!" Toushirou raised an eyebrow at the un-academic and lackluster explanation but decided to keep his mouth shut. In his mind, he pictured his friend playing music, and had to fight hard to keep the smile from surfacing his stern expression. It was simply hilarious: Hinamori Momo, the woman who couldn't carry a tune. He had strolled past her bathroom while she was bathing before and had thought that she had brought in a croaking chicken with her.

Jyuushirou and Shunsui were, on the other hand, completely unfazed. "I wonder what sort of music we would have to play." Jyuushirou mused to himself. "Oh, I suppose the kind that I used to put on when I was with that girl, the one with the flaxen hair." "Sui, you were never with her. She tried to break the record and the gramophone." "Don't be so unromantic, Jyuu." Shunsui winked at his friend, much to the horror and jealousy of Sentarou and Kiyone.

"Ahem." Nanao cleared her throat so hard that she nearly choked on herself and had to pause for a moment. The shinigami gradually settled down and the din condensed for a moment. "Everyone, your instruments had been selected and delivered to your Division, along with instructional videos, scores and books. Please do practice hard and make good use of our halcyon days." She glanced around the room authoritatively, "And please, we will meet in two weeks' time, same time, same place, for our first rehearsal." She bowed and the Gotei stood up, filing out of the room one by one, once resuming their interrupted discussion. This was going to be intriguing.

Whispers had gone round: the strongest shinigamis in Sereitei were about to face their greatest challenge yet……Soul Society looked on with bated breath at the birth and formation of the Sereitei Philharmonic!


Please Read and Review! This is my most recent Eureka!-combining the two things I love most in life. Some of it are allusions to Classical pieces, if you are interested, do check out the music as well!