Title: Boundless
Author: Alice J. Foster (a.k.a. shipperfey)
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Summary: Veronica tells her daughter a little truth about relationships.
Spoilers: Series Finale
Pairing: Logan/Veronica
Rating: NC-17/M
Warning: Sap alert. What can I say? I'm a sucker for happy endings. Other than that, sexual content, so no readers below the appropriate age, please.
Written: June/2007
Revised: May/2008
Chapter 1
Veronica set her bags down on the front steps of her home as she tried to fish the keys out of her purse. The rummaging stopped as she heard a familiar sobbing coming from the water fountain to the left of the house. Sighing softly so her eldest child wouldn't hear her, Veronica headed toward the sounds of the waterfall.
"Mom?" the voice was so broken and sad that it still broke Veronica's heart, even if she should now be used to her daughter's over-the-top dramatics.
"Yeah Emma, it's me," Veronica said, as 90lbs of teenage girl hit her midriff at full speed. "What's wrong, baby?"
It got an exasperated grunt out of Emma, "I'm not a baby!"
Veronica had to fight the urge to roll her eyes, "I'm sorry, you're right. You're fifteen and practically a woman. Now would you like to tell me why you're standing out here, at almost midnight, crying in the dark?"
"He's so unfair, you know?" The teenager managed to get out between sobs.
"Who's unfair?"
Emma sighed dramatically, reminding Veronica just how much of the Echolls' acting genes Emma got. "Daddy… he totally ruined everything!"
Veronica sighed and sat down on the cold ground, pulling her daughter down with her. Emma cuddled up closely to her mother - even though they were almost the same height at this point, she'd always liked to be held. "Now tell me how Dad ruined things."
"Josh and I went to a party last week, at Tracy McKennan's house, and when we got there, there was booze and stuff – which I totally didn't know about," Emma emphasized, but Veronica knew her daughter and their town better than that, "and I was just holding a cup of beer for Erika Johnson, I swear… Josh and I were just talking and next thing I know Josh was in the pool and Dad was dragging me out of the party. Oh, and he told all my friends that Grandpa the Mayor, and the entire sheriff department were going to show up at the party if everyone didn't clear the house in ten minutes."
Veronica bit her lip to stifle a laugh because she didn't feel like exposing her husband as the hypocrite that he was – after all, she knew he meant well with his insane and psychotic overprotectiveness of their teenage daughter. Veronica was actually surprised he didn't make Emma wear full-body armor when leaving the house. Of course, if he did, she knew he wouldn't be completely unfounded – their oldest progeny had a way of using her charm and brain to the best of her abilities, and more often than not, for the worst possible ideas. "Emma…" Veronica chided, knowing there was more to the story than her daughter was letting on. "You might be able to lie to your father, but you should know better than to try it on me."
Emma pouted. "Ok, it was my beer… but I didn't really like it at all, I was just holding it and pretending to drink it so no one would try to push the hard liquor at me."
"And…?"
Emma pulled back slightly to look at her mother. "Josh and I weren't just talking… we were kissing by the poolside. And his hand might've been on my breasts, but it was over my shirt, I swear."
Veronica laughed this time, "That boy's lucky your father only pushed him in the water. I'm surprised he didn't jump in and hold him under."
"It's not funny, Mom," Emma pouted even more. "Because of it, Josh broke up with me! My life is over! How am I going to show my face at school in two weeks, when classes start again?"
Veronica planted a kiss on her daughter's forehead. Emma would bounce back in no time, but Veronica also knew how much high school sucked – especially when you're a recently dumped sophomore. "Isn't this like the third time you guys have broken up?" Veronica asked, as delicately as she could.
"This time is for real," Emma stated in all seriousness. "He even asked for his sweater back."
"You know," Veronica started to say, "…if you're meant to be, it won't matter. You'll find your way back together. That's how the true, epic love stories go."
Emma bit her lips, a hopeful smile starting to appear. "Really?"
Veronica nodded. "Your Dad and I have broken up eight times. But he insists it was only six."
Emma frowned, "What? Why?"
"It's what we do, who we are. And after awhile, you learn to just skip over the break up and move straight to the making up… but it's hard, sweetie, especially at first."
"Why break up then?"
Veronica shrugged. "Sometimes you get sidetracked when you should be trying to make something work, and breaking up seems like the easiest solution… but once you lose what you had, you realize how much it meant to you."
"Did you ever think you weren't gonna be together ever again?" Emma asked, obviously thinking of her own predicament.
Veronica nodded, as she remembered the summer of 2007…
Chapter 2
Veronica collapsed onto the king sized bed in the hotel room that was going to be her home for the next three months. Second day at the internship position at the FBI headquarters and she already felt like death warmed up. Did the building have to be so big? Why couldn't those architects think of petite women with short legs and pointy heels, doing grunt work, when they designed the place?
She was drifting off, still wearing said pointy heels and uncomfortable hosiery, when she heard a knock on the door. Standing up disoriented, she opened the door to find no one in the carpeted hallway – at least ExtendedStay America hotels were nice and her room was cozy and she didn't feel like she was living at the Camelot. Closing the door, she kicked off her heels and was about to remove her pantyhose when she heard a knock again – except she realized the knocks were actually coming from the door that connected her room to the adjacent room. She waited in silence and the knocking continued, so she decided to reach for Mr. Sparky.
"Hello?" she called out near the door while cradling the taser.
"Veronica? Open up," she heard a familiar voice say – but it couldn't be. No way. She was in Washington D.C. and Logan was supposed to be in Hawaii or Mexico or wherever the hell he had been planning to go surfing. Unsure hands reached out for the doorknob – and sure enough, it was him.
"Logan?! What the hell are you doing here?" She demanded, voice coming out harsher than she meant.
"Well, you know, was in the neighborhood, decided to stop by," he said in the tone that meant he didn't want to talk about it. Then again, just because she knew which tone meant what, it didn't mean she was going to go along with it.
"How the hell did you find me?"
He shrugged. "Sense of smell?" He offered and she glared at him. "I called your Dad and told him I found some of your things when I was moving out of the Neptune Grand. He offered to take them, but I said they were personal, so he gave me your address. Then I just had to slip the bell boy a fifty-dollar bill to get a room adjoining to yours."
"And why in god's green earth did you decide to get on a plane to stay at the room next door from your ex-girlfriend?"
"Parker's next door?" He smiled as his thumb pointed behind him.
Veronica put her hands on her hips to let him know to cut the act. "Logan…" she hissed.
"Dick is with his Dad and I was tired of being in that same hotel suite, and I just wanted to get out, you know? So I put my stuff in storage and got on a plane."
"But why here?"
"Because I realized you haven't forgiven me – for Piz, for Madison and for breaking up with you--"
Veronica opened her mouth but he continued before she could say anything.
"There's more - you're my best friend, Veronica and I am not ready to give this up… I promise I'll be out of your hair, but I'll be here if you need me, okay?"
She was absolutely speechless, too many emotions going through her to allow her to respond with anything but a quick nod and then his door was closed.
Veronica could've sworn she saw him smiling for a split second.
Chapter 3
Veronica hesitated before raising her hand to knock on the adjacent room door. Three days had passed since Logan had first shown up, and he'd kept true to his promise and had stayed out of her hair.
He answered the door so fast she feared whiplash. "Hey," he said, trying to sound nonchalant but she knew him better.
She tried to smile as she bit the inside of her lip, "I am going to go down to the mall, wanna come?" she wasn't sure why she was asking him at all – her plan at first had been to just ignore him until he got bored and left for Florida or New York City, but guilt or whatever had compelled her to extend him this awkward invitation.
Then again, this wasn't something she would've felt weird about going to Wallace or Mac about, so she shouldn't feel weird about going to Logan, right? Especially after he'd explained he was there to try to save their friendship.
"The Mall? Like with the monuments and the expensive grass?"
"I was thinking the one with the stores and the food court," Veronica explained, pointing to the jeans and double tank top she was wearing. "I can't wear these to the FBI and I dropped off my one pantsuit at the dry-cleaners yesterday, and my black slacks had an unfortunate and irreparable accident involving Cheese Whiz about forty minutes ago, so I figured I should probably go buy a few more outfits."
"Give me five minutes and I'll meet you downstairs."
It had been one of the most bizarre days of her life, Veronica realized – and she'd led a pretty bizarre life so far. They'd been at the mall for almost four hours and Logan, other than less-venomous-than-usual snide comments, had behaved better than Wallace during trips to the mall. He had however drawn the line when she walked into a shoe store – except instead of annoying her, he'd simply gone to the gaming store next door where she'd found him twenty minutes later.
"Veronica, meet Wii," Logan announced when he saw her. Upon seeing her confused look, he explained, "For some unholy reason, I left all of my gaming systems at home, so I now have something to keep me occupied while you're off fighting pirates and diabetes or whatever the FBI is fighting nowadays." He held up a videogame case with a half naked female character on the cover. "Who says you can't buy love?"
She tilted her head and rolled her eyes, even if she let a soft chuckle escape her lips. She wanted to tell him he shouldn't be spending his summer holed up in a sup-par hotel room with nothing but a Wii to keep him company; there was so much that was confusing her though, that she decided not to mention any of it.
However, she couldn't help but wonder why he felt he had to spend all his summer in a hotel room at the ExtendedStay instead of the Hilton down the road.
He knocked on the door on her side and she paused the sorting of her new clothes just long enough to open the door.
"Wanna play Mario Party?" He asked holding some kind of controller in his hand.
"You hooked it up already?" she asked with a smile.
He nodded once. "Well, I had to hook it up to the projector and the surround sound system, but yeah…" he joked. "Did you know they made TVs this small?" he asked, pointing to hers and sounding serious.
She laughed. "This isn't small – it's a 27-inch," she explained as she kept sorting through her new purchases, happy that the room had more closet room than her bedroom at home.
"Well, whoever said size didn't matter was obviously incredibly poor," he added with a smirk. "So, wanna play?"
Veronica paused for a second, realizing the lonely tone of his voice. She was expecting a call from Piz in half an hour, but who could resist the call of Super Mario Brothers or any of its multi-million dollar sequels?
As she sat down on the floor between his bed and the supposedly smallest television in the entire universe, memories flooded her mind of mindless hours of playing Mario World on her second-hand Super Nintendo she got for her birthday, the summer before sixth grade.
Three hours later, as she beat Logan for the fourth time, she didn't hear her phone ringing time and time again.
Chapter 4
Veronica opened the door to her room, kicking her work shoes off her feet and taking off her suit jacket, to find a pink box sitting on her dresser with an envelope on top that said "EAT ME" on its back. She peeked into the box first, finding a delicious looking cake, thankfully sans corny picture. Then she opened the envelope to find a funny card and a "worth one gift of any value" handwritten certificate. Swooping some of the icing with her finger to taste it before closing the box and picking it up, she walked through the door to the adjoining room that she never cared to lock anymore and straight into the next room.
"Thank you, I can't believe you remembered…" she said as she set down the cake onto his bed and walked over to the mini-kitchen to grab two plates and some silverware.
Logan didn't say anything, just smiled from where he was sitting at the edge of his bed, Wii controller in hand as he tried to beat some over-articulated, realistic looking video game.
"You are two days early, you know," she said as she ate a forkful of cake.
"Well, I know your dad's flying in for the weekend in a few days, and I figured Piz—you know, might be planning something. So I give you your gift now, and don't miss the opportunity later."
"You didn't give me a gift," she teased, not wanting to tell Logan she'd broken up with Piz the week before after realizing she had been mindlessly avoiding his calls for almost 5 days. "You know, when us plebeians give gift certificates, they tend to be actual cards that have limited amounts. I don't think they mean what you think they mean…"
"I wasn't sure what you needed, and rather than obsess about whether what I was getting you was going to be too much or too little, I figured you can just figure it out and I'll buy it."
"I would like a house…" Veronica teased and pouted when Logan didn't even seem fazed. Damn rich people. "You're not having any cake," she whined.
Logan pointed to both of his hands, which were handling the different controllers for the Wii.
Unable to stop herself for some reason, Veronica scooped some of the cake with her fork and fed it to him. It seemed like an innocent act until his eyes met hers and she found herself incapable of inhaling or exhaling. She repeated the action once more, testing her grounds, and found the answer she was unconsciously seeking when Logan dropped both of his remotes and pulled her into his lap, the plate in her hand falling somewhere next to them on the bed, clumps of cake getting mashed between her good suit and his "Surf Tuff" t-shirt.
His mouth devoured hers, and she couldn't help but feel alive for the first time in months. There was just something about Logan – it was like whenever he wasn't doing this, she could almost forget how good it was, she could live her life happily, kissing and touching other people… and then just one touch, one kiss would undo her, make her mind scream at her for ever thinking she could live without him. She wondered if that was how a brain on drugs behaved.
Her work blouse was made of silk and she could feel the coolness of the icing against her stomach, before she felt it melt between their bodies and pool around the fabric of her pants – she was pretty sure she was going to have to use Logan's "gift certificate" on a new suit, because she'd be very embarrassed to send this outfit to any dry-cleaner in the area.
The ever-so familiar hardness pressed against her stomach, unhappy to be stuck between a pair of jeans and her core. She couldn't remember any of the many good reasons why she shouldn't be taking off her blouse, because she could only think of how uncomfortable it felt to be wearing anything at all. Logan helped her by throwing the item across his room, before he moved on to the lacy white bra she had on, hands cradling her covered breasts in awe, before helping her out of that prison as well.
Veronica pulled away from his mouth long enough to pull his t-shirt off, and then her hands were covering him in equivalent wonder, touching all the right spots from memory. She barely realized when he flipped them, except he pushed her down onto the bed and the cake made contact with her naked back; any complaints she was about to express were drowned in her moan when Logan's lips closed around one of her nipples.
His fingers made quick work of the buttons and zipper on her pants, and she moaned louder as his fingers blindly found her center. There was so much she wanted to say, so much that she wanted to explain, but the only sounds that were coming out of her mouth were deep, guttural and it was as if she hadn't used them in years.
Her body felt her first release sharp and fast, hitting her almost by surprise as one long finger brushed her g-spot.
Logan was the only one who seemed capable of rational thought at the moment, and he finished undressing them on his own, with minimal help from Veronica. He paused for a second before entering her, his eyes seeking some unspoken answer from her. Seemingly satisfied, he entered her. Veronica's eyes snapped shut, every nerve ending crackling in synchrony – it was almost more than she could take.
Another orgasm hit her, followed by another a few seconds later; then it just became one long orgasm, peak after peak, like a never-ending explosion. She barely noticed when Logan came, her brain instantly shutting down after she came down from her last wave.
Sleep claimed her, not caring about the 3 pounds of cake and icing between her sweaty body and Logan's mattress.
Chapter 5
Veronica was not surprised upon waking up to find that she was naked, but what surprised her was the fact that she was alone – and furthermore, in her own hotel room, not Logan's. Her good mood dissipated quickly as she sat up in the bed, looking around at the closed adjoining doors.
She stood up and walked to her door and opened it, softly trying his door without success; he'd locked her out—in her own room. Only a few weeks before she couldn't have imagined having Logan around her for the entirety of her summer in D.C.; and now she couldn't imagine spending any more time away from him.
Veronica took a break from trying to get Logan to open his door. She didn't even know if he was still in the other room, but she'd been able to find out from the front desk that the room was paid for by Logan until the end of the summer.
Before long, her dad was in town for the weekend, and she tried as hard as she could to have fun with him. It was good for her, to stop focusing on her lost night with Logan and his subsequent abandonment (after apparently cleaning her and carrying her to the safety of her own room, all without waking her).
Hugging her father harder than any of them thought possible, Veronica bid him goodbye at Reagan and watched with teary eyes as he stood in the security check line. It was stupid to feel so lonely, she told herself – especially when she was due back in Neptune in less than six weeks.
It was only the prospect of six more weeks at the FBI that kept her from getting on the same plane as her father, and forgetting the first six weeks of this summer has ever happened.
Chapter 6
Veronica clutched the walls of the stall of one of the restrooms of the third floor of the J. Edgar Hoover Building. Perhaps it wouldn't have been so worrisome if it wasn't the second time it happened that day, and the seventh time that week. She winced at the earlier dismissal of her symptoms as a stomach virus – actually, the flu sounded like a wonderful prospect compared to her current affliction.
It had been a month since the night she got her birthday gift from Logan – and apparently his gift was going to keep on giving. She couldn't believe they'd been this stupid – hell, she couldn't believe she had been that stupid.
Veronica flushed the toilet when she was done throwing up, still admonishing herself. She stood up in the narrow stall and straightened her suit. She exited the stall just in time to see her mentor walking in.
"Oh Veronica, you look awful! You're still sick?" The ever-pleasant Assistant Director JoAnne Phillips looked shocked and sorry all at the same time.
Cursing the gods above, Veronica silently nodded as she turned on the faucet at one of the sinks. Awkwardly, with her small hands, she attempted to cup some water to rinse her mouth with; not surprisingly, in a sick parody of her life's problems, the water just kept on overflowing and slipping between her fingers.
"You know, I wish half my agents had the same work ethics as you - to come in while they're sick, and take it all in stride."
Veronica offered a weak smile; she couldn't help it, the woman was too damn likeable. Even after 10 weeks of nothing but grunt work at one of the biggest investigations hubs of the country, Veronica couldn't help but be grateful that JoAnne had given her a chance at all. "I'm sorry," Veronica said to the older woman, "I thought I'd feel better by now. But don't worry; a little ginger ale from the vending machine and I'll be as good as new."
JoAnne smiled, "Great. I came in because I was looking for you; come see me at my office after you're done."
"Oh, Veronica, hey… You look better!" JoAnne exclaimed as Veronica excused herself as she entered the huge office.
"Thank you. You wanted to see me?"
JoAnne removed her reading glasses and motioned to the leather chair in front of her desk. Veronica took a seat as the older woman stood up. "I wanted to talk to you about your future, Veronica."
In Veronica's experience, nothing good had ever come out of any conversation that had started with those words. Involuntarily cringing, the young sleuth forced herself to smile. "My future?"
JoAnne nodded. "Agent Reynolds has filed several complaints during your stay here."
Veronica frowned – Reynolds was the biggest ass-kisser she'd met while at the Bureau. He was like Lamb, except without any redeeming qualities. "Oh…" was all that Veronica could muster.
"Don't worry, Veronica. His complains have had quite the opposite response. He's stated that he has caught you reading old case files when you should've been filing them, that you found out his password and replaced his desktop background with an improper image, and that you continuously try to participate in meetings and conferences you weren't invited to."
Veronica wondered when the nice security people were going to come to take her away. She almost regretted replacing Reynolds' wallpaper with a picture of David Hasselhoff in his pre-bathtub days; but honestly, the guy deserved it all, and playing pranks on him was the only thing that helped her lately. Maybe he was her new Lamb.
"Don't look so scared, Veronica. As I said, Reynolds' reports had the opposite effect on me – he's only brought to my attention that we were right in selecting you for this internship. You have demonstrated qualities that I continuously seek when selecting new agents; I have recruited police officers, professors, agents from other FBI offices and rookies. But I've never so faithfully believed they were right for a position in my team as I feel about you. Earlier today, I spoke to a close friend and colleague at the Academy, and we can get you in without any problems."
Veronica's jaw dropped faster than she expected; she was used to life turning upside down without a moment's notice, but apparently someone was trying to really throw her for a loop.
"Listen, you don't have to say yes or no, but I hope you'll take my offer into consideration. I know D.C. is a long way from home, but I shouldn't have to tell you this is a once in a lifetime opportunity," JoAnne said with some compassion.
Her tone seemed to shake Veronica enough to apologize. "I'm sorry, I just—thank you. Thank you very much for this opportunity… But there's something you should probably know before I even consider the offer: I'm pregnant. I haven't had a stomach flu, I have morning sickness. I didn't plan on it, I still haven't even decided what to do about it, but I'm sure the FBI has rules about this type of stuff, so I'll understand if you withdraw your offer."
It was JoAnne's turn to be shocked, and she was silent for several seconds. "I—congratulations, first of all," she extended the courtesy awkwardly but it was heartfelt. "I apologize for my shock, but…" she drifted off and Veronica replied with a sad laugh.
"Yes, I know, I'm a little too young," she said, accepting the unnecessary apology. "I mean, technically I'm not a teenager anymore, and I didn't even feel teenager-ish when I was, but I'm still pretty sure you're not supposed to give birth before you are able to legally drink."
JoAnne spoke quickly, "No, no, it's not that. I mean, it is a little, but it's just that you've been working for me for ten weeks, and we've gotten somewhat close but you've never mentioned a boyfriend or anything. But I apologize again; it's really none of my business."
Veronica smiled at the older woman. "It's ok. I don't really want to explain it right now, but it's not because I don't want to open up. I just don't quite get it myself. And as I've said, I understand if you wish to withdraw your offer."
The sound of unexpected soft laughter filled the room. "Veronica, this is the twenty-first century. FBI Agents have children, families, and lives. I had two kids myself, and was told by some they would ruin my chance of a career. Since then, I've received five promotions… contrary to what they teach you in school, even accidental pregnancies don't have to ruin your life."
Veronica was a little taken back and smiled at the warm, gentler woman in front of her. Most of the positive influences in her life had been male – her father, Clemmons, even Lamb and Logan; having a nice, trustworthy and successful woman take her under her wing was just a very nice surprise for Veronica.
"If you wish to accept, Veronica, I can make arrangements so that we can split your 21-week courses so that you will only take the physical training after you give birth – if that's your decision. We'll even give you the standard six-weeks off, everything by the book as if you were already one of our agents."
"Is that even possible?" Veronica asked, still in shock.
"When you entered my office today, I made you an offer of employment. To retract that offer on basis of your current condition," JoAnne said with a conspiratorial smile, "would be illegal. Plus, the Academy is not like a regular school, it is necessary training for any new and current FBI agent, and we will just have to accommodate your needs."
Veronica felt herself tearing up, and stood up abruptly. There was so much going through her mind, that she thought she was never going to be able to think clearly again. Without thinking, she embraced the older woman, and refused to let go.
"I encourage friendly emotion and connection between my agents and myself, but this is quite new," JoAnne said strainedly.
Veronica finally pulled back, and silently apologized.
"Go home, it's almost four. Think about it, and get back to me on Monday, okay?"
Nodding vehemently, Veronica resisted the urge of hugging JoAnne again and left the office.
Chapter 7
Veronica entered her hotel room and kicked off her shoes. Changing into some sweatpants and a white tank top, she sat in her bed and stared at the closed door to his room. She would deal with him when time came, but she had to do something first.
Hitting the speed dial key that was almost worn off from constant use, she clutched her cell phone close as she waited for her Dad to pick up.
"Veronica?" Keith Mars asked, worried. "I wasn't expecting your call until tomorrow. Is everything okay?"
Unconsciously, Veronica nodded even though she knew her father could not see her. "Everything's fine, Dad. I just—I need to tell you something…" she proceeded to tell him of JoAnne's offer, leaving out some minor details, such as her pregnancy.
The other side of the conversation was silent for a minute after she was done. She knew that if she accepted the offer, she would all but abandon her father in Neptune. He had a name and a reputation there -- the later one was constantly changing, but name recognition went a long way in the PI business. "I shouldn't have let you go to D.C.," He said quietly. "I knew you wouldn't come back, not after seeing how the big boys do it."
She knew he was smiling, even though she'd just about broken his heart. He knew, as she did, that this was an offer she couldn't refuse. "Dad…" she started to say but her voice broke.
"Yeah, sweetheart?"
"I really love you, you know? I'm not leaving you… I mean, I guess I'm kind of leaving you, but—"
"Veronica, I would never forgive you, or myself, if you turned down this opportunity. I always knew there was something greater in store for you than solving crimes in Neptune, as big as our crimes can be."
She didn't even know she was crying until she tasted her own tears. "Thanks, Dad."
"When will I see you again?"
"I'm going home in two weeks when my internship is over… and then I guess I have to pack up and stuff."
"Are you taking Backup?"
Veronica laughed softly; life wasn't going to be the same without Backup, but it was going to be tough enough providing for herself and for a possible newborn without having to worry about a pitbull as well. "No, Dad. I'm going to have to live with weekly calls from Backup, at least for a while."
"Good. I don't think I could take losing both of you." His tone told her he was just joking, even if he probably meant some of it.
"I'll call you again tomorrow. There's someone else I need to tell, ok?"
Keith conceded and ended the call.
Veronica took a deep breath. With her father's blessing, she only had one more person to really worry about; and she still had to get him out of his hiding hole.
Chapter 8
She had tried triggering the fire alarm, but had only succeeded in interrupting a small orgy that had been happening a few rooms down the hallway. The naked foursome had staggered out of their room looking like a scene out of a science fiction movie that involved aliens covered in strange-looking goo. Logan's door had never opened, even as the sirens approached, which meant he either knew her too well, he wasn't in his room, or he wasn't concerned about dying in a fictional fire.
Her next attempt involved ordering room service for him, but Logan only made his presence known by shouting indecencies at the bell boy through the closed door. At least she knew he was in there.
Veronica fell asleep after putting a motion detector on his door; he would hopefully leave the room sometime during the weekend, and when he did, an alarm would go off in her room. At 2:35a.m., the alarm woke her up, followed by a knock on her door. She practically ran to the door and tore it open, feeling extremely nauseous when the light from the hallway hit her. "Logan!" she shouted at seeing him holding the small motion detector in his fingers. As he started to open his mouth, she was gone from the door, moving as fast as her legs took her to the small bathroom.
She knew humiliation well, but as she heard the footsteps behind her, she realized her life had hit a new low. "V—Veronica?" he asked in a whisper, voice cracking.
Luckily, she didn't have a full stomach, and she was getting used to her ever-increasing symptoms. After a full minute of dry-heaving, she felt well enough to get up. The minty taste of the toothpaste was almost enough to make her stomach churn again, but suddenly her eyes met his in the mirror and she finally took in his haggard appearance. She actually looked better than him, and that was sad in itself.
He hadn't shaved and she knew enough about his shaving habits to know that the sparse, thin facial hair was the most he'd ever had on his face, thought it just looked like other men's five-o'clock shadow. At least he'd showered, because she could smell the faint perfume of his soap and shampoo – the smell was so faint but it was definitely there, and she realized she could smell him better than ever before… and she could also smell the even fainter odor of expensive bourbon on his breath.
"Hi," she said weakly, after she rinsed her mouth one last time.
"Hey…" he looked so lost, so—apologetic. "You pulled the fire alarm earlier, didn't you?"
She shrugged, "Possibly. Unless you're with the D.C. Fire Department, then I most certainly did not; I would like to avoid paying a fine for unnecessarily getting three fire trucks here."
He chucked the motion detector at the sink next to her, not harshly but accusingly. "You wanted to see me?"
Veronica inhaled sharply. "Yeah, we need to talk. I—uh… I'm pregnant," she blurted out, suddenly feeling relief and apprehension all at once.
His eyes widened, and then his face turned away from her so fast, she was afraid he had strained something. "I guess—I guess I should say congratulations," his fists were clenching next to his body, "to you and Piz."
Veronica shook her head in confusion, "what--? Piz? What the hell—?" she stopped herself before letting her emotions get the best of her. Then she remembered that Logan probably didn't know she and Piz were over, and had been so for weeks. "Logan," she started as she braced herself against the bathroom counter, "look at me."
Logan complied after a few seconds, obviously looking extremely distressed.
"Remember when the video of Piz and me hit the internet? And I told you he and I had never had actual sex?"
He nodded, as strained as could be expected.
"That was two weeks before school was out… and then I came here, and Piz went to New York, and perhaps I shouldn't tell you this, but I want to be completely honest – he and I never, at any point, actually consummated our relationship. It didn't have anything to do with you, I just wasn't ready to take things to the next level with him… and we talked about him coming to visit me here, but before that ever happened, you showed up here, and I realized how much I missed you. I broke up with Piz soon after that, before you got me my birthday cake—what happened between you and me that night -- it wouldn't have happened if I had still been with Piz." There were new tears rolling down her eyes, and she started to really hate the hormonal changes she was starting to go through.
Logan narrowed his eyes. "What—what do you mean?"
"I'm pregnant… you're the only one I've been with…" she said softly, hoping realization would dawn sooner than later, because she couldn't take much more of this.
"You mean—I'm going to be a dad?"
Veronica cleared her throat. "Well, I guess that's up to you," as she said it, she finally realized she was actually committed to having this child and raising it… before it had been an option, a possibility, but now it was concrete. She was going to be a mother.
She tasted the bourbon on his tongue as it unexpectedly invaded her mouth; she hadn't even seen him move until his lips had enveloped hers. The fact that he'd just seen her throwing up didn't seem to faze him in the least, but she was definitely glad she'd taken the time to brush her teeth after the small spectacle.
The edges of the counter were biting into the skin of her lower back, and he seemed to sense her discomfort because he pulled back slightly. His hands found her waist and pulled her so that she was now sitting on the faux-marble counter.
She didn't realize he was crying as well until a soft sob reverberated through him. Veronica pushed at his chest until he stopped kissing her, missing the contact even though his pelvis was present between her legs. "Wait…" she whispered hoarsely and his face dropped to her shoulder, lips softly seeking the sensitive spots of her neck. "There's more."
"More? I don't think I can take more…" Logan whined, standing up straight, wandering hands moving to a stationary position on her outer thighs.
"I've been recruited by the FBI. I'm going to the Academy, and they know about the baby, and I told my Dad too – about the Academy, not the baby," she clarified.
Logan bit his lip in acknowledgement as he held her gaze, silently asking her questions she couldn't quite catch. "I thought—I felt so awful that night, you know? I blamed myself for letting it happen, for screwing things up…" he trailed off.
and now I realize my fears were justified, she heard his mopey voice inside her head, finishing the sentence in a bitter tone.
"… but now I think that was the best thing that ever happened in my life," he said instead.
Veronica closed her eyes in relief when his lips touched her forehead. "I'm sorry," she whispered against his neck. "I should've told you about me and Piz earlier, then you wouldn't have felt so guilty. I just thought, you know, that you regretted what happened, not because you were worried about me, but because you realized it wasn't what you wanted."
"Veronica—" he started to say, voice breaking, "I just thought it would be easier for you if we could pretend it didn't happen…"
"Well, even if it were the case, it would've become increasingly hard to ignore the consequences of that night," she added in a playful tone.
His hands move from her thighs up to her still flat stomach.
"I didn't expect you would take it this well," she admitted.
He looked up at her and smiled a sheepish smile. "I'm surprised myself," he replied as his fingers slipped under her tank top to tease her skin. "I have to admit this is unexpected, but sometime between my mom's death and my father's arrest, I just stopped having plans or expectations, you know? I have nothing to lose, Veronica… As long as you're with me, I'm ready for anything. If it means moving here and helping you raise this child, so be it."
Veronica half-smiled at him before pulling him down for a kiss. "You're going to have to be, because do you remember how I treated that poor doll for that school project?" she asked against his lips.
Logan nodded as he helped her out of her tank top. "This will be different," he promised her.
"I just hope we don't screw up," Veronica whispered as they pulled his shirt off. "This kid has more genetics going against him than for him."
"Her," Logan corrected her. "A girl."
"And how do you know th—?" Veronica's question was cut short as Logan's lips wrapped around a newly sensitive nipple.
"I don't know, wishful thinking?" His eyes met hers as he helped her lift her hips and pull off her sweat pants and underwear. "If she's half as gorgeous as her mother, we're going to have our hands full."
With one hand, he pushed her hair off her face in a caring manner; with the other, he held her in place as he pushed inside of her.
"Hey, think of the bright side," he said with a smirk, "at least we don't need to worry about protection for the next nine months."
Veronica nodded her approval, unable to speak as the angle of her hips on the counter and his thrusts were driving him unusually deep, against all the right spots.
Logan showered the side of her face with kisses, all the way down her neck as she continued to moan. Their movements set off the motion detector that sat next to them, and as the alarm started to go off in the other room, Veronica unthinkingly grabbed the expensive equipment and threw it in the toilet.
Her torso felt heavier than usual and she found herself slouching until her back touched the cold surface of the mirror. The sudden change in temperature, the contrast of the cold of her back and heat in her center, along with one smart flick of Logan's thumb against his clit – she came, hard and loud, without any regard for any of their current neighbors. It was like every inch of her skin was on fire, and she could smell them better than ever before; it was overpowering.
Time stood still around them, and she felt like she was floating until she realized he had come as well and was now picking her up and moving them to the bed in the other room. It took her a few minutes to recover, and she was so tired but her mind was racing and she couldn't sleep. She looked up at him, glad to see he seemed as incapable of slumber as she was.
"I think I'm going to look for a place to live closer to the Academy," she said, a little unsure.
"We'll check out some real estate on the internet in the morning… then we can rent a car tomorrow and drive to some of the houses."
She bit her lower lip. "I meant an apartment, Logan. Something I can afford," she explained uncomfortably. She didn't want him to think she didn't want him in the picture, but she didn't want to live somewhere she could not afford if he chose to leave.
Fortunately, he seemed to understand her. "Ronnie… I'm not—Things have always been complicated between us, but I'm not going anywhere… even if I were, I will always provide for you and the baby; that includes a living that's not some rathole apartment in a ghetto somewhere. And before you misunderstand me, it's not because you are in any way incapable of providing for yourself or our child on your own, but because I could never live with myself if I lived a comfortable life while you struggled in any way. Even my bad specimen of a father provided for my illegitimate brother, because it's the right thing to do."
She thought about his words before nodding softly. "Ok, we can look at places tomorrow… but nothing too fancy. Maybe a nice condo? With a small backyard for the baby."
He agreed silently, and both of them laid there in silence, her head on his chest, fingers absently drawing on his stomach.
"When are you telling your dad?" he broke the silence, and she could hear his fear in his voice.
"I don't want to tell him over the phone. I have to go back in two weeks to pack up… I guess we'll tell him then." At his sharp intake of a breath, Veronica laughed, "No way I'm going back by myself. You're coming with."
Logan sighed in resignation. "With one condition," he added.
"Yeah?"
"I get to tell Duncan."
Chapter 9
Veronica moved quietly across the house after having tucked Emma in and checked on D.K. and Ben; both were sleeping peacefully, the younger still cuddling a stuffed bear close to him. She'd gotten him the bear to ease the separation whenever she went out of town, and he would refuse to sleep without it until she returned. Once again, she felt the ever-present pang of having to leave her children for weeks, sometimes months at a time due to work.
Sure, she'd given up on being a full-time agent when Emma had turned 4; too many close calls, and Logan had begged her to quit. So they moved back to Neptune, and she remained with the FBI as a consultant; the problem was that when they needed her, it always seemed to be for long periods of time, in cases that took too much out of her.
The still young mother of three glanced at her bags which were still at the top of the stairs and decided she'd ignore them until the morning. She had a husband she hadn't seen in seven weeks, and she was eager to reacquaint herself.
Tiptoeing into their large master bedroom that by itself was bigger than the apartment she'd lived with her father many years before, Veronica undressed in the dark silence, moving steadily and carefully towards the sleeping form in the king sized bed. She actually felt torn between waking him and just crawling next to him and passing out. But the moist heat between her legs was quite insistent, and she pulled back the covers, happy to find he was sleeping in the nude. It was often his choice, but he also made sure to keep boxer shorts nearby so that he could tend to any emergencies without scarring their children for life.
Veronica admired his still sleeping form, admiring how age had treated him so far. They were both in their mid-thirties, but most of the time she felt older than that. She carefully climbed on top of him, his body unconsciously responding to her closeness. She felt his hardness pressing against her center, and it took every ounce of her strength to keep from sinking down onto him.
"Hey…" she whispered, bending down to his ear, "wake up, sleepyhead."
The change in his breathing signified he was slowly waking up, and she smiled against his jaw, kissing the skin until she found his lips. His surprise was evident against her, but no soon had he woken up, she felt him surging inside of her. She couldn't contain her moan, so she just tried to stifle it against his kiss. Hands connected with her waist, then her hips, pulling her down, pushing her up—guiding her movements in a desperate rhythm.
Veronica groaned at his pace, glad as she heard him grunting as well. Then she remembered something and she stopped her hips from moving in an instant, pulling herself up so his erection couldn't quite reach her. She started to fumble in the nightstand drawer by his head, groans of frustration now replacing the groans of pleasure.
She yelped in surprise when she was suddenly thrown at the other side of the bed, landing on her back. Logan then moved to cover her completely, re-entering her in one swift motion. "Pill—" she managed to say between moans. "N—no, no refills… we nn—ahhhh, oh god, we need to stop…" she tried to communicate, even though she didn't want him to stop, she never wanted him to stop.
"I miss—I missed you," Logan finally admitted. "I want you, all of you… please?" he begged, and she gave in, legs moving to wrap around his hips and pull him in deeper.
The change of the angle of penetration threw her over the edge, and he followed close behind, filling her seemingly to the brink. He moved so that he was lying on his side, spooning up against her.
"Welcome home."
She turned her head to face him, the familiar smirk meeting her even in the dark. "Thank you."
"Hope we didn't wake up the kids," he mumbled into her neck, humid breath doing nothing to help her burning body cool down.
"Emma was awake when I got home," Veronica explained, reaching for the high thread count sheet to cover them.
"Is she still moping about that pervert kid Josh?" Logan's hand left her midriff to cover his eyes.
"She's going through those mopey years, and getting humiliated by her dad in front of her friends isn't doing much to help," Veronica pointed out. "Not that I don't stand behind you one hundred percent." Her tone was sarcastic but she knew Logan was all too aware of her unending trust on his parental prowess.
"I might've overreacted a little," he admitted. "But she's growing up too fast. Trina called saying that Emma called her begging for a guest star role on that second-rate cable show my sister tries to pass off as a living. Why again did we let Emma foster this acting bug?"
Veronica turned into his arms so she was facing him in the dark bedroom. "Because she's Emma Lynn Echolls and it's in her blood," Veronica reminded him. "We would buy her Disney DVD's and she would throw them away and reach for your mother's old movies."
Logan did the fast breathing thing he always did when he was suppressing a sniffle, "She's better than my mother, it scares me sometimes. I just feel like we're becoming obsolete to our daughter."
"Is this why you didn't quite care about our current lack of birth control? You want more kids so we don't feel obsolete?" Veronica asked as she nuzzled into his neck.
"Maybe," Logan confessed, "how about your reasons for not refilling your prescription before jumping your adoring husband's bones?"
Veronica shrugged, "I guess I've been thinking about it too. The time off would give me the opportunity to write another book, which I've been considering for awhile."
Logan pulled her close. "Fourth book, fourth baby, seems like a good plan…" he commented against her forehead.
"Are you sure you're okay with the idea?" Veronica asked, feeling the ever-present guilt of being the often absent working parent in the household.
"I always wanted to be a part of a normal family when I was growing up, you know?
If someone had told me twenty years ago that I would be a part of a normal family, living in a house financed by Veronica Mars' brilliant career as a novelist and criminal consultant, discussing my feelings with her on bringing a fourth child into this world, I think I would've laughed so hard I would've cried. But I'm happy," Logan promised, moving her insistent bangs behind her ear. "I'm a stay-at-home dad who lives to drive his kids to baseball practice and drama school, and who misses his wife oh-so-very-much every time she's away from home," he pointed out with a smirk.
"How much is very much?" She teased and he pushed a new erection into her hip. "That's impressive for a man your age," she pointed out.
"Anything to properly welcome you home," he teased back, pulling her leg over his hip. Nipping at the soft spot where her neck and shoulder connected, he reassured her, "I regret a lot of things in my life, but getting you pregnant has never been one of them," he whispered into her skin.
"Even if we have another girl and fifteen years from now you end up having to push a new punk teen into a new pool while all her friends stand around and call you gramps?"
Logan laughed huskily at her scenario, "We'd barely be past fifty—they wouldn't call me gramps," he pointed out. "But even if they do, I won't regret a minute of this," he promised as he pushed inside her.
"Middle of the night feedings, burpcloths, p-p-potty training," Veronica stuttered as he continued to move inside of her.
"Bring it on, Mars," he challenged, unfazed by all the negatives of continued offspring. "We can do it."
Beyond convinced, Veronica pulled him closer, letting him move inside her, more slowly the second time around. His hand never stopped caressing her face, making her feel more secure than her badge and gun could ever do.
Minutes later as they lay together sated, she glanced at the family photos that adorned the walls—they'd always had pictures covering almost every square inch of every place they'd lived in, and these pictures even in the dark, filled her with warmth. As Veronica's fingers intertwined with her husband's, she sighed in contempt, eager at the prospect of waking up and making breakfast for her kids… even though there was no hurry, she'd be able to make them breakfast for many more mornings to come.
the end
Author's Note (added 05/09/2008): This was the first (and so far the only) VMars fic I've written; I'm still not completely pleased with the revised version—I would like to add a few chapters detailing some of Veronica's experiences at the FBI and such, but the muse was only with me long enough for this revision… maybe someday there'll be a Boundless v3.0 or something. If you enjoyed this and would like to see more of this universe, please comment… if you didn't like it, I also appreciate and encourage constructive criticism. Thank you!
