paperthin hymn

note1: AUish you know. Cuz I likes AU. And angst, because they fit that title so well.
note2:Anberlin, because they are wonderful.

summary: They're trying to keep it together but failing stupendously. Forever is such a fragile thing, so always kiss the ones you love, because you never know when you'll have to say goodbye. -Sasuke/Sakura-


When Bird and Cat are assigned together for the first time, they both know it's going to be hell. There are too many old memories to be dredged up, too many things that have been left unsaid. (Really, what were the ANBU captains thinking? Making them a team was just asking for disaster.) But they say nothing, for they were trained better than that. They glance at each other, a silent agreement to make this short and sweet (as sweet as an assassination can be) and hopefully never again.

...

The mission was a disaster. They were unprepared for the ambush, never thinking that their target could be bait to lure them far away from home. A dozen sound shinobi had appeared as soon as they had entered the forest on their way home, leaving no options but fight or die. So they fought. (And fought and fought and fought until all they could see was a red mist and all they could hear is the ragged breathing and slowly beating hearts of those who were still dying.)

Amaterasu still burns the mangled corpses spread about the clearing, and soon nothing will be left but ashes on the wind and the faint smell of blood. Bird is leaning against a tree, chakra nearly depleted. It comments on the long gash on Cat's arm, but is waved off with a flippant gesture. Cat is not weak. Cat left its weakness behind a long, long time ago.

Bird sighs and pushes off its tree, ready to leave. Cat nudges a mutilated body with its foot before following. Both disappear silently, witnessed by no one but the wind.

...

They stop in an nameless village on the road home, both too tired to go any further. Bird pays for their room while Cat finds them a hot meal. Both are apprehensive about the night to come, but they know it is something unavoidable (and probably long overdue).

The door clicks shut; the lock sliding into place seems impossibly loud. (They've never been good at this, talking.) They stare for what seems like eons, but is really only a few seconds, before Bird looks away. There's something about Cat's eyes that always drive it crazy, something dark and sad, something dangerous. Those eyes tear at Bird's heartstrings, and hearts are so, so fragile, and terribly difficult to mend.

The silence is even louder than words they should have said so long ago, words that fester and burn like an infected wound. The words eat at their insides, stirring thoughts and feelings that have been long hidden in the darkest corner of their minds. They both feel it, the need to do something, say something, the need to move.

Pale hands slowly remove even paler masks, hesitant yet defiant all at the same time. (It's easier to pretend that nothing matters behind the mask, that nothing can hurt them, not even themselves.) Jade and onyx meet, and the world stops. They are balanced on the blade of a knife, a sleepless night or bittersweet oblivion awaiting them on either side. He grabs her face between cold hands and crushes his mouth against hers, all tongue, teeth and desperation. There's something haunting about the way he holds her close, and she can't help but lean into him, trying to convey something she can't put into words. He drags her to the bed and together they fall into the abyss.

The facade is slipping. Bird can see it in the way Cat moves, the way Cat looks, the way Cat kills. The cracks it has tried so hard to hide are showing through, and it's only a matter of time before Cat shatters into a million tiny pieces, one that Bird has no chance of putting back together. (Bird knows that when Cat's time comes, Bird knows that it will soon follow.)

In the dark there are whispered promises of forever, but both of them know forever is such a fragile thing. Bird watches Cat sleep, afraid that if it drifts off, Cat will have turned to dust in Bird's arms. Pale fingers brush through silken strands while pale lips tenderly kiss shadowed eyes. Bird knows that someday, Cat is going to break its heart.

Someday came suddenly.

...

Bird is running, panting, screaming. A solo mission. Cat had taken a solo mission. Cat knew better than to go off without Bird. They were a pair, a perfect complement in so many ways it made Bird's head spin. (Soulmates, something whispered. Two halves of an imperfect whole that could not exist without the other.) Bird runs and runs and runs. The sound of laughter alerts him of their presence, and in an instant Bird is among them. They barely have time to blink before kunais are plunging into soft flesh and heads are ripped from necks in a sickening storm of fury and bloodlust that Bird feels it will regret, if only that it could have made their agony last as long as Bird's.

Within moments the clearing is silent except for the sound of Bird's heavy breathing and the pitter patter of the rain. Eyes scan the clearing, landing on what Bird came for. A strangled sound comes from its throat at the sight, heart breaking at the silence that remains no matter how hard Bird wills Cat's heart to start beating.

Bird collapses at Cat's side, something inside shattering. (Bird's heart, maybe?) It brushes away the remnants of the shattered mask, slick with blood and rain to reveal silky pink hair and dead jade eyes. Bird takes off its mask, and the porcelain shatters in his grip. Pulling Sakura's broken body into his lap, Sasuke looks up at the sky and tries to pretend that it's not tears that are sliding down his face, just rain, and that everything is going to be okay.

fin.


note3: oh god why do I write such sad things?! Why?!
note4: yes no maybe so? What did people think? Because I'm afraid I've got more SasuSaku in my brain.