Once Upon a Time…

Summary: Hatter can't get to sleep one night, so Alice tells him a story. AlicexHatter fluff. TWOSHOT.

Disclaimer: I wish to God Hatter was mine… or at least his jacket. Or shirt. Or hat. Or headphones…

AN: So, for anyone who cares, the next chapter in "A to Z" will be up later hopefully.

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Part One:

Hatter laid on his back on the couch and stared miserably at the ceiling. Ever since he came for Alice nearly a week ago, he believed, he had a hard time getting to sleep. Maybe it was the fact that he couldn't listen to his stereo softly to lure him asleep. Maybe it was because he didn't have his bed. Maybe it was because he was so used to the Tea Shoppe noises that he couldn't get to sleep without it.

Or maybe it was because he was in a completely different world.

Sighing, Hatter moved position to his side, so his face was facing the back of the couch. Concentrating on the seams and tracing his finger along them, he thought about Wonderland. How much time had passed in Wonderland, compared to here? Here, Chicago he though Alice called it.

"Chicago," he whispered, feeling the oddness of the name on his lips. It was such an odd name for a place--a city. Though, he supposed 'Wonderland' wasn't any better.

Sighing once again, Hatter changed positions again, this time so he was facing out to the room. It was a simple room, a television (he think she called it), two more chairs, and a coffee table (though, he thought it'd be more appropriate to label it a 'tea table'). The television was odd and it fascinated him. The pictures on it were real people, and it moved and it played sound. The closest thing they had to that was music, and that only played the sound, not the moving pictures.

This world of Chicago fascinated him. He wondered if the rest of the country was as advanced as this.

Groaning in irritation of not being able to get comfortable and that he just wished he could get to sleep, Hatter went back to his original position. He glanced at the luminous clock setting on top of the television. 4.32am. He was never going to get to sleep at this point! He debated on whether or not he could get the television to work without waking up Alice.

… Probably not.

Throwing that idea out of the window, Hatter sat up and rested his elbow on the arm of the couch, placing his chin in his hand. He wished he could get to sleep.

And suddenly, there was a creak behind him.

Hatter was off of the couch in a flash, fist ready, facing the general direction where the sound came from. It came again. And again. And a light turned on.

He chuckled in relief, glad to not have to fight anyone. It was just Alice. Alice, in her silk purple pajama tank top and shorts to match. He swallowed, noticing her very fit form, and looking her up and down, his gaze lingered on her chest for a moment before clearing his throat. "Alice! What a pleasant surprise! What're you doin' up?"

She smiled a sleepy smile and rubbed her eye. "I noticed you weren't sleeping."

Hatter burst with happiness. Just seeing her, talking with her was amazing. "I'm fine. I'll just fix myself a cuppa and then I'll head to bed. Go back to bed now, shoo, shoo," he said waving his hands goodbye to her.

Alice rolled her eyes and made her way to the couch, moving Hatter's blanket onto her lap. "C'mon, Hatter. Sit down."

He did as she said.

"You need a story."

He raised an eyebrow. "Story?"

"A bedtime story. Mom always used to tell me one, was I was a kid, when I couldn't get to sleep. It always made me fall asleep, especially since it was…" Alice paused and swallowed hard. Hatter looked sadly at her, wanting to hug her, to hold her, to tell her it would be okay, but she wasn't that type of girl… not to mention he didn't want to screw anything up. And since he was the Hatter, he had a good chance of that happening.

"Anyway," she continued. "I'll tell you a bedtime story. Once upon a time, in a land close to home, a girl named… Annie lived there. She had long dark brown hair, so it was almost black, and bright blue eyes. Her favorite outfit was a blue dress and raspberry colored tights. One day, Annie decided she was going to go on an adventure. The adventure included going to a very strange land, not too far away."

Hatter grinned, guessing where this was going. "She decided, eh?"

Alice glared at Hatter playfully and smacked him softly on the shoulder. "Be quiet. I'm telling a story. Anyways, Annie decided to go on an adventure. So, she walked and walked and walked and walked until she came upon the strange land she was looking for."

"And the strange land's name was…?"

Alice glared at him, but didn't comment. "Once she got there, she got into loads of trouble with the high bailiff, who collected the strange lands' taxes. Everyone, no matter who, had to pay the tax. Unfortunately, Annie couldn't, so she was thrown in a crate and taken to this shop. The shop, known as "Pizza Pizzeria", was a very popular place run by a man called Harvey."

Hatter snorted, ignoring Alice's glare. "Why do I get the stupid name?"

"Who said it was you?," Alice said. "Harvey, a very rude man, who thought he was better than everyone else and teased people and lied to them to move himself up in the world," (She said this staring straight at Hatter, making sure he got her first impression of him), "who liked tea a touch too much, was actually very kind to her.

"Annie didn't trust Harvey at first, but she had to at least try in order for him to help her get out of the strange land. He was very odd, Harvey was. He had these odd quirks about him that fascinated Annie and made her start to appreciate him a bit more. It was very weird, however, when Harvey brought her to a library, claiming he had to return a library book."

"Don't make fun o' me," Hatter whined. "It was the secret password."

Alice giggled and continued with her story. "It turned out that Harvey lied to her and tried to sell her very precious ring (that wasn't even hers) to a man in the library. When rejected, the man furiously shot Harvey and Annie ran, thinking Harvey was dead. However, due to body armor, Harvey survived this--"

"--Excellent bout of bravery and Annie gave him a kiss and they lived happily ever after," Hatter interrupted, trying to finish the story. He liked the story, he really did. But he wished she wouldn't put the points of his lying in there… sure, he did lie occasionally and he wished he didn't, but that didn't mean she had to put it in there.

"No, that is not how it went," Alice stressed. "It went like so: And Harvey ran after the man who had started chasing Annie and told her the way to escape while attempting (and failing) to act manly and be a knight in shining armor. Because of his inability to kick ass, Annie had to go back and do it for him. They made it out of the library in peace, however Annie had some things on her mind. She claimed that Harvey had lied to her and used her."

"Which he really regrets now," Hatter added, looking to the side and not at Alice.

Alice raised an eyebrow. "Uh-uh."

Hatter whirled around to face her. "But I do! Really!"

Alice smiled. "Who said Harvey is really you? Harvey's just a made up person."

Hatter glared playfully at her. "I'm sure he is."

"So anyways, they stick together mainly because they had to. Annie wanted to get home and Harvey was the only person who would help her. So they head back to his Pizzeria and find that it was ransacked by the evil… White… Frog. Yeah, White Frog. The White Frog was the evil assassin the Queen of… Anatomical Figures (QAF for short) hired to capture Annie and bring her to her because, for some reason, the ring that Annie had was very important to QAF."

Hatter chuckled slightly, actually enjoying the story. Sure, it was their adventures in Wonderland, but most definitely toned down a bit and more… happy, if that made any sense.

Of course it didn't. He was the Hatter. He never made sense.

"They had to run from the White Frog, so they hijacked a boat and went across the lake to another piece of the strange land. And on this piece of strange land, lived a terrible monster called the… JabberHut."

Hatter raised his eyebrows. "JabberHut? Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously, now hush or I'm not finishing the story. Harvey claimed he had a plan. But it wasn't a plan, of sorts. It was more of a suicide mission. His plan was to let the JabberHut see him and he would run toward the White Frog, who was following them very diligently. Annie, however, wouldn't have that. She knew it was a ridiculous notion and if he led the JabberHut to the bad guys, then he wouldn't return. So, she argued with him until the JabberHut showed up, and they ran. Annie apparently ran in the wrong direction, because when Harvey turned around and noticed the JabberHut was following Annie and not him, he said, 'not that way… ANNIE!' And he started running after her."

"Not my fault you ran in the wrong direction," Hatter huffed, folding his arms across his chest.

"When he finally caught up to them," Alice continued as if he had never interrupted, "he punched the Jabber Hut (as if it would help any) and they continued to run until they bumped into a… Knight. This Knight was 'as mad as a box of frogs' according to Harvey--"

"See! That just proves that Harvey is me!"

"--But, since Annie wanted to go with the Knight, since he obviously knew some things about survival, Harvey agreed and they went to his home. They had some sort of rat for dinner, which was surprisingly good, Annie thought, and Harvey and Annie argued after Charlie went to bed, since it seems that they couldn't go through one conversation without arguing. So, Harvey stopped the conversation, said goodnight and went to bed.

"Not satisfied with the conversation, later that night, Annie left the Knight's home and had some tricked out dream with the Grinning Cat, and then purposefully got captured by the QAF simply so she could be closer to the way home. However, being the smart Heroine she was, she hid the ring before going, that way she had some leeway.

"The QAF refused to let her leave and wanted to location of the ring, and Annie refused to give the location of the ring without being guaranteed a safe passage home, so she got taken to a 'truth room'. In the truth room were two people, Dr. Crazy and Dr. Insane."

Hatter laughed. "That fits. Big time."

Alice let out a small laugh and yawned. "Dr. Crazy and Dr. Insane tried to get Annie to tell them the position of the ring by knocking out all of the floorboards in the room, except one. The one she was standing on. Thinking it was a dream, Alice tried to step off, but she fell, and managed to grab onto the board just in time. She finally gave up and decided to tell them where the ring was. So, she asked for a piece of paper and a pencil, and, defeated, she wrote down the location…"

Hatter looked expectantly at Alice. "And?"

She yawned once again. "And you're going to have to wait until tomorrow for the rest of the story. I need at least four more hours of sleep…" Alice placed her head on Hatter's chest. "I'll move, just let me lay here for a while."

Hatter paced his hand on the back of her head and started playing with her hair. "But, Aliiiiiiice. I want to hear the rest o' the storyyyyyyyy," he whined. "I'm not tired and--" He stopped and looked down, leaning a bit to the side so he could see Alice's face. She was asleep.

After ten seconds, she was asleep.

Hatter shook his head in amazement and chuckled. That's Alice for you. Hatter yawned, kissed Alice on the head and let his head fall back, marveling on how he got such a woman as Alice.

Though, her story telling skills needed some work. Maybe, tomorrow, he would show her how to tell a story.

That idea in his mind, he slowly fell into a nice slumber.

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A couple of things. Annie is Alice. Pizza Pizzeria is Hatter's Tea Shoppe. Harvey is Hatter. The man at the library is Dodo. White Frog is Mad March. Queen of Anatomical Figures (QAF) is the Queen of Hearts. JabberHut is the Jabberwocky. Knight is Charlie. Knight's home is Charlie's campsite. Grinning Cat is the Cheshire Cat. Dr. Crazy and Dr. Insane are Dr. Dee and Dr. Dum. I tried to make those as obvious as possible, but hopefully it wasn't too confusing… I know I didn't successfully get rid of the "JabberHut" in the story, but I don't really care. Also, you'll notice Jack wasn't in there. I don't like Jack. So deal.

So, this two shot is obviously going to be Part One and Part Two of SyFy's miniseries Alice. Alice just told Part One (hopefully it was at least semi-good…) and Hatter is going to tell Part Two. I know I ended a bit into Part Two, but Hatter's going to continue where he came in, so I thought it'd just be a bit easier to end it that way.

Anyhoo, enough rambling. Basically, I'll update this in two ways: One, I get enough reviews for this first part (bwahaha, I'm evil) or Two, in a week or so. So, you guys can pick (I'd personally make it the first one, just so you can have the second part sooner… but that's just me.)

Thanks a ton for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!

-UbiquitousPhantom-