The Addiction of Nagato Yuki
Both Haruhi and WoW does not belong to me.
To be able to fully understand the jokes here, you must be well versed in World of Warcraft, the inside jokes, lolnubcoil, and Yuki's general 1337ness.
--
If there is a mirror right now, I'm sure my face would be similar to those of a manga character who had just realized that the girl he slept with last night was his own sister who really his brother who had a sex change operation.
"I am currently in epic tier eight gear."
She droned on without the slightest hint of elation as one would expect for achieving so highly in a computer game.
"My guild has downed every raid boss in the game, and we have beaten Nilhilum on the first world kill within three hours of the release of the latest content. It is also noted that my character is in full season seven gladiator set with eight hundred and fifty six resilience, and my arena team is located in the ninety-nine point ninth percentile of the battlegroup with six thousand five hundred and ninety eight arena points..."
"Wait, wait, Nagato."
I touched my forehead with that exasperated look one would expect in this situation.
"How many hours a day do you spend playing?"
"Fifteen hours, thirty six minutes and fifty eight seconds on average according to data accumulated within the span of two hundred days played."
What the... Do you have a life? Oi!
"If you refer to the state of being where-"
"No, I mean, do you do anything else in your free time except playing that?"
"Negative."
I just realized that an alien addicted to something is a truly terrible thing. A fat, unshaven guy eating cheetos while bitching on vent immediately comes to mind.
"Nagato."
"..."
"What are you playing as?"
"A gnome warlock."
...That does it.
At precisely that moment, the door flew open.
"KYON! Yuki! We're going to the mountains to hunt of Unidentified Mysterious Animals! BE PREPARED!"
Haruhi, I just cannot thank you enough for barging in at the right time and possibly saving Nagato from her addiction.
I almost hugged Haruhi in gratitude. If I can separate Nagato with a computer just for a few days, then there is a possibility for the addiction to wither.
Of course, there's no telling if she can access the game by merely running an otherworldly OS in her mind.
"There is no such thing."
She replied while turning the pages of the World of Warcraft novel she had been reading.
What a relief.
...
Alas, all remaining positivity fled when Nagato's mouth opened.
"...We are not prepared."
End.
