I'll Do Anything for You, Dear, Anything for You
Summary - Phil needs a new kidney and Dan gives him one of his…
I think what scared me more was the fact I needed an IV line placed rather the major surgery I was about to undergo. Just over a year ago Phil's kidneys started to fail and after four months of dialysis it was finally decided that if he wanted to have a relatively normal life he would need a transplant. It seemed like a fluke that we had the same blood type and were compatible with each other. After months of testing it was finally surgery day. I lay in my bed early that morning with Phil in my arms wondering just what the outcome of this would be. So many different things could go wrong with either of us from one of us bleeding out or his body refusing to accept the kidney but without the surgery Phil had been given a year at the most, instead of another fifteen to twenty that had been promised if the kidney did take. Many family members had tried to talk me out of it Phil included but I wasn't listening to their advice and they all finally succumbed to my decision. He had helped me so much in the past and now it was my turn to do something for him. My day dreams were broken by the alarm from my phone signalling it was time for us to get up for the early check in at the hospital.
'Wakey wakey Phil'
'mphhhhhhhhhh get lost Dan'
'Would love to but we really need to get up and ready. Its surgery day'
'Yay… should just be able to sleep longer cause that's all I'm going to do anyway today'
'If only it could happen here Phil, if only now get up please'
He reluctantly finally got out of bed and within the hour we were on our way to the hospital.
The check in to the hospital was fairly simple and within half an hour we had both been show to what were going to be our beds for the next couple of days at least. In less than an hour of arriving I unfortunately had to say bye to Phil to be prepared for the upcoming surgery which was set to start soonish. Before I was taken away the procedures were explained to us again; the anaesthesiologists talked with us about what they would be doing and our medical histories; and the arrival of our parents looking more nervous than we were. I was glad our parents had arrived Phil was gradually getting more and more nervous and me being taken away from him over an hour before he was set to go into surgery was not helping at all. I had been sitting by his bed when the nurses and porters that were escorting me to pre-op entered the room.
'Bye Lion stay safe I'll see you soon' I murmured planting a kiss on his forehead.
'You to Bear, you too I love you' he answered as I was led out the room.
The walk to pre-op was short and before long I was lying back on a bed waiting for a nurse to place the dreaded intravenous catheter.
'Right Daniel all you'll feel is a sharp scratch and it will all be over' she informed me. Pain radiated through my hand as I was told that was it for now but the anaesthesiologist may want to put another one in later. After a bag of saline solution was connected to the IV I started to doze off as I hadn't slept too well the night before when the surgeon came in to explain the procedure once more.
'I know we've gone over this Daniel but I want to make sure once more that you are aware what this procedure will entail. As we have said previously as it is the left kidney we will be retrieving I will place three laparoscopic ports in the left side of your stomach each of them no bigger than twelve millimetres long and as it will be hand assisted a larger incision of about seven to twelve centimetres. Your abdominal cavity will be inflated so we have a larger working area and can see the structure of everything clearer. The kidney will then be removed from surrounding tissues which does cause minimal risk to part of your colon and spleen as they are in close contact with the tissues. Once we feel the kidney is ready to be removed you will be given heparin and we will begin dissection of the ureter, renal artery and renal vein and remove your kidney. Phil's surgeon will then flush it out ready to transplant into him. You will be given a drug to reverse the effects of the heparin and we will check for any excess bleeding or abnormalities and have you stitched up and in recovery not long after. That's what we would like to happen and are hoping will happen but if on first examination of your abdomen I don't think we can do it that way or if we come across any complications you are aware we may have to change to an open surgery - which requires a large incision from just below your ribs on your left side curving round onto your abdomen. This procedure may also require the loss of one of your bottom ribs but as I have already said this would be the worst case scenario. Do you have any questions?'
I listened intently nodding at the right points before replying
'No but do whatever it takes. He's more important to me than having a big ugly scar. All I want is for him to get my kidney in whatever way possible. Phil is worth more than my life.'
The surgeon nodded, reminded me I was his sole responsibility and if something serious went wrong it would be me over the kidney and left the room to scrub in. After a final chat with the anaesthesiologist about how once I was under the effects of the anaesthetic I would be placed on a ventilator; have a catheter placed in my bladder; a nasogastric tube to decompress my stomach and be placed on my right side slightly tilted to give access to work, I was taken on the stretcher I was on into the operating theatre. Shuffling onto the table I was greeted by various nurses and the anaesthesiologist who I had just been talking to.
'Right Daniel I would like to insert another line to give us more access just incase' the anaesthesiologist explain whilst picking up my right arm and wiping it with a antibacterial wipe.
I felt another prick and burning sensation in my hand as the IV was inserted and taped down. At the same time ECG leads were placed on my chest; a pulse oximeter on my left index finger; a blood pressure cuff placed on my right arm and an oxygen mask was placed over my nose and mouth as I was told to count back from ten. A burning sensation made its way up my left arm and then nothing.
'Daniel, Daniel it's time to wake up'
'Mphhhhh'
'Come on Daniel, the operations finished now, time to wake up'
Why wouldn't they leave me alone?
'Daniel, can you open your eyes for me please Daniel?'
My eye lids felt like lead but slowly I managed to open them for a couple of seconds before they snapped back again.
'There we go. How about you sleep a little more'
Which I did.
The next time I woke up it was because of pain that I was told would be minimal. The whole left side of my stomach burned, shifting the oxygen mask off my face with difficulty as both hands were trapped with IV lines. I was not too pleased to find out the only noise my body was willing to make was a sort of disgruntled groan which somehow still managed to attract the nurses attention.
'Daniel, you need to keep that on – its helping you wake up.' I was told as a nurse noticed and came to check on me.
'How are you feeling?' she questioned.
'Hurts…'
'What hurts Daniel?'
'Stomach, really sore'
'Is it now? How sore out of 10' I was asked as she looked at my vitals which were displayed on a screen off to the side.
'7' I groaned.
'Let me check your incisions and I'll get you some more morphine for that then and you can nap some more'
'Not morphine…. too long to work. Feel sick later'
'Oh sweetie, it's all your doctor has prescribed just now. We haven't got anything else we can give you.'
My gown was lifted and for the first time I saw the incisions. They were disgusting with bruising starting to become apparent; the orange-brownish stain of the disinfectant and last but not least the stitches and steri-strips which were basically holding me together… She checked for infection or something before redressing them. I then reluctantly let her inject the awful substance into my blood stream and was pleasantly surprised when it worked within minutes. I think I fell asleep again or something but the next time I was aware of something going on another patient was being moved into the cubicle beside me – Phil! He looked so still and peaceful like nothing had happened.
'You ok sweetie?' one of the other nurses asked noticing I was awake again.
'Mhmmm. Phil's here now. He makes it better. ' yep still drugged up….
'Think we can move you back to your room in a bit but how about you sleep some more?'
'Not fun. Rather watch Phil, he's still poorly'
'Phil's doing fine Daniel he's sleeping which is good. You should get some too as it was a pretty big operation you just had.'
'No! Not until Phil wakes up' – why on earth was I acting like a two year old damn you drugs.
'Ok, ok after Phil wakes up.'
In all fairness I think I fell asleep again with the thought of I had finally done something meaningful and worthwhile for Phil. It wasn't until we were told his kidneys were no longer functioning as well as they should I realised just how much he meant to me. It was like I took our relationship for granted sometimes in the past. Phil is my everything and I don't know where I would be without him.
