Disclaimer: I do not own House of Anubis or any of the characters related to it.


'Soy latte. Non-fat. Please.'

I ran my hands through my hair and sighed, exasperated. Working in a magazine office was stressful. Especially when you were the head editor's assistant on a pretty crappy pay and working six hours a day.

I got Amanda's latte for her before sitting back at my desk outside her office and making some phone calls. I looked down to the photo frame sitting on the wooden desk in front of me and smiled, looking in to my best friend's brown eyes and feeling the sad feeling sink in. I missed Joy. I still called and texted her but it wasn't the same, not seeing her everyday. Even three years after school finished, it still hurt that I couldn't see all my friends everyday.

And then I looked at the empty space next to the photo frame, where a photo of me and him used to sit. I'd finally taken it away about ten months ago, deciding it was best for me to stop torturing myself with it.

The photo was my favourite photo of us; we'd gone up country to see Joy for her 19th birthday, about two months before we split up, and that night was the first night we hadn't fought with each other in months. We'd been sitting in Joy's garden, Eddie on the chair and me on his lap, and I was smiling up at the camera. Eddie, on the other hand, hadn't realised a photo was being taken; his eyes were on me, a small smile on his face only just showing his teeth, and I knew as soon as I saw the photo how he really felt for me. I finally felt like I was being looked at through the eyes of someone who adored me.

But then, a few months after the photo, everything fell apart, and now I was here in a job I hated, with people I didn't like, thinking of him every single day. Every single time I looked at the space where the photo used to be.

And the thing that hurt the most was that he never thought of me, and I knew it. I just knew it.

18 months earlier

"I can't do this anymore," I'd said to him. "It's too hard."

"What, so you're just going to give up on us?"

I was standing in the corner of the living room at our university student house, 12am, with a distraught and angry Eddie standing in front of me. He was wearing black jeans, a red and white checked flannel shirt and a black T-shirt. We'd been up for hours, arguing and trying to sort things out in our heads. Our housemates were out.

"I have no other choice, Eddie," I raised my arms at my sides for a moment and then brought them down in despair. "We've run out of things we can do to make this work."

"I'm trying my hardest."

"I know, and so am I…"

"Then why can't we keep trying?"

"Because!" I said, my voice raising now. I looked him right in the eyes and almost fell apart right there in front of him. The room was so dim; his eyes looked dark enough that they could nearly be black. "Because it's hurting me.… Does it not hurt you? – To see us falling apart like this? Eddie, I never get to see you anymore. One of us is either working, or studying, or seeing a friend, or in a class, or working…," my eyes stung with tears now, "…It's been too long. I can't even remember the last time I just sat with you and talked to you. Every time I see you we're either studying or we're too tired to talk. This isn't a relationship anymore…"

"It's not my fault you chose to take a job which works all the hours a week you're not in class. And you took it when we were trying to fix things." He accused, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"Oh yeah? And it's not my fault you wanted to live in a student house with a huge bedroom and a huge rent – we didn't have to live here! We could've lived in the dorms like any normal first year students…"
"What, so now it's my fault for wanting to live with you? That's the whole reason I wanted this place." He was nearly yelling now.
"No, you wanted this place because it's big. You're not used to small stuff, are you, Eddie?."
"What's that supposed to mean? Stop jumping to conclusions, Patricia. You have no idea."

I sighed then, and ran my hands through my hair. "Eddie…"

These arguments were getting empty. We'd run out of things to argue about, and yet we still found a way to get mad with each other and start yelling. I was tired of being up this late and fighting like this; we were both tired of trying and trying but never getting anywhere. It was always one step forward and two steps back…

Present time

I flashed back in to reality at my desk and put my head in my hands for a brief moment. The memories always came in flashbacks; sometimes the good memories, sometimes the bad. But every memory that came back – good or bad – still hurt. I hated how, even over 18 months on, Edison Miller still made me crumble. He still made me feel things; he still made me weak.

I should've moved on.

I shouldn't have been there at my desk, 21 years old, thinking about him. Because I knew he wasn't thinking of me. I knew he'd be out there finding everything he'd been looking for all his life; I knew he'd be making a perfect life for himself. Without me.

I think, maybe, a part of me wanted to stay right where I was and not move on, because maybe he wouldn't find what he was looking for. Maybe he'd come back and say "okay". Maybe he'd come back and want to try this again.

I knew he wouldn't.

And I knew he wasn't thinking of me.


A/N: Hey guys! I'm totally new to this site so please forgive me for however I may have uploaded this wrong. Lol. But anyway, I hope you liked the chapter. Sorry it's a little short! Reviews please? :) Hope you liked it. In chapter two we hear from Eddie! :)

Love :* xxx