Just a Dream
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters they are the property of their respective creators. Please be aware that no profit is being made from this work of fan fiction.
"Ha! It's written all over your face. You love her, don't you."
Tokajin's words continue to haunt me even now…it's been almost a month since I finally defeated the false sage and the demon tree that used him but still I cannot forget the events that transpired. When I thought Kagome was dead…it was as if Tetsaiga had been stabbed through my heart, I wanted to tear out those vines and rip out his throat, to tear him apart like I did to those bandits when I lost myself and my demon blood took control. When I finally found her I was lost for words, simply knowing she was safe swept away the rage I had felt but a moment before only to be replaced by embarrassment a moment later when she stood up and I saw she was naked. I had felt an unfamiliar feeling stir in my loins at that instant, although I had quickly pushed it aside and offered Kagome my haori before lapsing into darkness.
As I look back on those brief few moments I can't help but wonder if the emotions I felt were real, on the night's my demon blood fades I am assailed by a whole series of emotions which for the rest of the time lie beneath the surface…one of the many reasons I despise my human nights. In fact tonight is one of those, the lunar month begins and beneath the darkness of a new moon I will be mortal once again and forced to face my feelings until the first rays of dawn signal the return of my demon powers…I don't think I can take it. I need to see Kagome, I need to figure out how I feel about her once and for all lest I be tortured in the same way every new moon for the rest of my life…and being a hanyou that could well be a very, very long time.
At the moment she is back in her own time, she has more of those 'test' things again and she insisted that she had to go back. I fought her at first but she promised that when they were done she would come back right away and would stay until here with us…as much as I tried I couldn't totally shut out the voice that added the part I was afraid to speak out loud, that she would stay here with me…us, forever…
"No."
Already I can feel my demon blood going into dormancy, the feelings beginning to assault me…I have to go now, if I don't it'll be to late. The transformation will take hold and I won't be able to reach her…I need to get to the well, now.
As much as Kagome's world unsettles me, I have no choice but to go there. It is filled with a million smells I do not recognise, things that don't exist in my time and I find myself struggling to understand…perhaps the only good thing is that on all the occasions I have gone there I have found it predominantly free of the scents of demons. Whereas now the air positively reeks of their scents, in her time, the air is instead filled with the scents of humans…it's strange, in my own time that smell has always filled with a sense apprehension and danger, my childhood experiences making me unwilling to trust them. In Kagome's time however, I find it strangely comforting…perhaps it is because those people I have met here actually accepted me, rather than treating me like an abomination.
As I leapt from the well my sense were assaulted by the alien sounds and smells of this place. Already they are becoming fainter, perhaps being human will make my time here easier although for now it's too soon. Without my demonic powers I won't be able to reach Kagome's room, despite the fact I came here to see her I do not want her to see me. If she found out I was here then I would have to tell her what it is I'm feeling…even I'm not foolish enough not to realise that Kagome cares about me. I need to understand how I feel before I tell her, I don't want to see another woman I care about be hurt…I leapt up the tree that stands next to her room, thankfully her window is currently open so I leap across and pulled myself into the room.
My senses are failing faster now; I can only just make out the scents of Kagome's family. It seems that her mother, grandfather and brother are downstairs while Kagome…her scent is mixed with another, one that smells like rain. I assume she is in the strange cabinet in the 'bathroom', the one surrounded by something she called 'glass' which produces warm rain. I think she called it a 'shower'. The smell of the 'soap' she uses is even fainter so I assume she has almost finished, no doubt she will be returning here shortly. That means I need a place to hide, searching about the room my eyes land on a strange looking door, one which appears to be little more than a frame filled with horizontal wooden slats. Moving closer I pull it open slightly to find it filled by Kagome's clothing…I roughly remember her mentioning this, I believe she calls it a 'closet'. It seems that there is enough room inside for me to hide, on hearing footstep approaching I slipped inside, pulling the door closed behind me.
Not a moment later, the door to the room swung open and Kagome stepped inside. From what I can see, she appears to be wearing nothing but one of those fluffy cloths she calls a 'towel'. Her hair looks somewhat damp so I assume that my senses correct and she was in the process of washing when I arrived. My heart almost stops when the towel falls away from her body, leaving her flesh bare to my eyes…for an instant a few strands of my hair fell into my eyes and I reached up to brush them away. I noticed then that both were subtly different, in the few moments I had been watching Kagome the change had taken place, my hair was now black like Kagome's and my claws had now changed to nothing more than human nails.
A small gasp made me instantly turn my attention back to Kagome. My heart was pounding in my throat I was gripped by a terrible fear, that she had somehow become aware of my presence. Without my demon senses I could tell little of how she felt, not being able to pick up the changes in her scent that gave me some clue to her mood. All I could do now was watch her eyes, to see if they turned in my direction…after a moment she moved over to the window and pulled it closed. I breathed a sigh of relief then, she must have gasped at the cold.
She returned from the window and turned her attention to her bed, she lifted clothes from upon it and began to dress before my eyes. Once again, I found myself filled with smouldering desire, a lust to touch Kagome's body. This is another weakness of my human form; I am unable to suppress my basest of desires. The distance separating us is nothing, I need only reach out and touch her, and even in this, human body and I would have little trouble in claiming her as my own…
NoI swear under my breath, fighting down my urges. I have no right to think of Kagome in that way, it would make me little better than Kouga…I would never sink down to the level of that despicable wolf demon.
Thinking of him with his hands simply touching Kagome fills me with anger, I can't bear to have him putting his scent upon her, Kagome is mine…yet, I can't truly see her becoming anyone's. She is too strong of spirit to ever submit in such a way, she would accept nothing less than being equal, both mates on a par with one another. From what I recall from the tales told to me by my mother, her relationship with my father was like that in nature.
Looking at her once again in light of that memory I find myself seeing her in a different manner, I can see her as my mate, caring for our pups…I know in that moment what I have feared ever since that night in Togenkyo to be true…I am in love with Kagome.
In that instant I dropped to my knees and silently wept, wept for the times I had hurt her, the times I had denied what I felt or kept it from her. By the time my tears stopped, she had already entered her bed, the regular rise and fall of her chest telling me she was asleep. Silently I opened the door of the closet and stepped out into the room, there was little light here, and Kagome's sleeping form visible only because of the light that made it's way from beneath the doorway. I stepped over to the bed, looking down upon her sleeping form.
"I love you Kagome."
My voice was no more than a whisper yet saying those few words took all of my courage. Finally, I had given voice to my feelings, safe in that knowledge I could now return to my own time…
"…Inuyasha…"
My blood froze at the sound of her voice, for a moment, I was afraid she had awakened, that she had heard my confession. I turned back to look at her and could just make out the fact her eyes were still closed, it seemed she had simply called out in her sleep. I turned to go once more when suddenly her hand reached out and caught my own, even in sleep it seemed she could sense my presence, part of her must have heard the words I had spoken and now wished for me to stay with her.
For a moment I hesitated, unsure of whether I should stay with her or leave, lest I be discovered…as I felt the warmth of her hand on mine I knew I could not leave her. I would remain in this place with her, lying beside her until the coming of dawn. I carefully lay down beside her, making sure that I did not disturb her with my presence, nor that the contact of our hands was broken. At last, I was close enough to inhale her scent, even in human form and I spent a moment inhaling the comforting smell of her hair. I closed my eyes and continued to inhale her comforting scent, eventually falling into sleep for the first time in many years while in human form.
When the morning arrived I woke with a start, I had not slept on the night of a new moon since my mother had been alive. I was always too afraid that a demon might come upon me in my weakened state and slay me when I could not fight back…yet, sleeping beside Kagome had felt right…shaking of the last of my sleep I got up from the bed. Kagome had finally let my hand fall from her grasp so I was able to leave without waking her; I opened the window and slipped out, pulling it closed behind me. I made a dash for the well before leaping inside, not wanting anyone to realise where I had gone.
She returned three days later and we set out at once, seeking more of the remaining jewel shards. When we made camp that night my senses told me something was bothering Kagome, although I was unable to tell what it was. Later when the others had already fallen into the clutches of sleep, I remained awake, my thoughts turning over and over, trying to sort out what it was that was unsettling her scent…
"Inuyasha?"
I was shocked that I had not detected her approach, I immediately chastised myself for my foolishness, had she been an enemy I would have not know they were there until it was too late. I turned to look at her at once was struck by the apprehension in her eyes. Feeling worried I signalled her to come and sit by me; I could see she was cold and by sitting with me I could share my warmth.
She seemed reluctant at first but after but a moment's hesitation she came and sat beside me, turning so her head faced me.
"Inuyasha…I…during the time I was home did you visit me?"
My blood froze once again as for a moment I feared that she had remembered everything…before I could open my mouth to speak however, she spoke once again.
"No…I'm just being silly. You wouldn't have done something like that, it must have just been a dream."
"Yes Kagome, it was just a dream."
I hated being forced to say that to her but I knew the time was not right, there were too many things in the way and letting her know how I felt would only put us both in greater danger…she smiled at me, sadness evident in her eyes before laying her head against my chest and falling asleep. I carefully wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, shielding her as best I could from the cold.
I'm sorry Kagome; I promise I will tell you someday…I give you my oath that someday I will tell you that what you heard was not just a dream…
A/N: And so is concluded my first Inuyasha story, a one-shot, inspired by the episode of the anime 'Fateful Night in Togenkyo'.
Till next time,
Hououza
This story has not been preread.
