Jibun Kakumei
Charcoal-black eyes watched from afar as Hyuga Neji exited the training fields.
They also watched him when he trained.
And when he studied at school
and when he sometimes shouted at Hinata
and when he went to the store
and when he read
and when he walked around town
and when he went to sleep.
And those seemingly cruel eyes watching him shone love; unanswered love. Kankuro had no idea why, but the beautiful liquorice-black-haired boy wouldn't even look at him. For so long Kankuro had been so very much in love with him. Getting nothing back. Not a word, not a look in his direction – it was as if he didn't even exist to Neji.
Sitting in a tree close to training fields, watching his love turn his back on the place and to him, Kankuro felt hot tears stinging his eyes. He leaned his head against the rugged tree, and didn't do anything to stop the tears as they smudged his Kabuki-style make-up. He'd gotten used to crying a long time ago. He didn't know what it was about Neji that made him this vulnerable, but there was no denying it. He just loved the Hyuga so much it hurt. The burning, consuming love he held within would destroy him if he wouldn't give up and let go of Neji. However every time Kankuro watched him fight with such passion and hatred, he knew there was no escape.
Maybe someday he'd get to be seen by those pale, burning eyes... someday.
The air started cooling rapidly as evening came, and Kankuro climbed down from the tree. Sighing quietly, he decided to go and see what Neji was doing one more time. He quickly ran back to town to find the boy. After a few minutes he found Neji, who was hanging around in front of a bar with a group of guys; Kankuro's brother Gaara was there too, and some other boys Kankuro would sometimes hang around with. The group talked about everyday stuff for a few minutes, and then went inside. Kankuro waited for a few minutes and followed them in, picking a table from the darkest corner. There he sat and once again watching the absolutely stunning raven-head laugh with the guys and have a few drinks before heading home. The others stayed, and so did Kankuro to avoid questions about leaving straight after Neji. He forced down some Red Cat and closed his eyes, trying to relax. Behind his closed lids there was the image of Neji again; there was no escape as he mentally tortured himself with love. He felt tears starting to form again, and opened his eyes slowly, only to find someone sitting in front of him. His vision was blurry because of crying, but he quickly tried to hide his tears. After wiping his eyes, Kankuro saw it was one of his friends, Aburame Shino.
"Hey....Kankuro, you okay there? I thought I'd come chat with you and now I find you crying here..." he sounded rather concerned.
"Um...nothing. I wasn't crying. I had something in my eyes..." however a small sob escaped, denying his words.
"Come on, you can tell me."
"...um...I just...I....you won't tell anyone?"
"I won't." his eyes looked a bit odd, but Kankuro thought it was beacause he'd had some drinks and wasn't wearing his usual sunglasses. Shino reached over the table and took Kankuro's hands into his paler, slimmer ones. Kankuro twitched a little because he was in a fragile state and the sudden contact surprised him. But Shino didn't move to release his hands.
"Well...it's just that...there's someone I really like...but he won't...he doesn't even acknowledge my existance....and this is nothing new...I've been after him for such a long time...and I just can't keep feeilng like this or I think I'm go...going to...die..." his voice slowly faded and broke a little in the end.
"It's Neji, isn't it?"
Kankuro nodded slowly, not wanting to admit it out loud.
"Hey...come on. Don't cry. I don't think anyone else's noticed. Don't cry..." Shino reached further over, this time wiping the tears off his face. Kankuro hadn't even noticed he was crying again.
"....But what can I do to make him notice me...I love him so much and he won't..he won't even fucking look at me...and why would someone like him want to go out with a...a freak like me..." he lowered his gaze to his lap and Shino ran his pale hand through Kankuro's hair.
"Hey...it's okay...but I think there's something...I've heard he's into skinny guys" Shino tried hard not to smile.
"He...is?" Kankuro looked at the Aburame with hope shining in his eyes. Maybe if he'd become everything Neji wanted, he'd finally be noticed by him...
"...yeah."
Kankuro left soon, and Shino decided to have a few more drinks.
He had a reason to celebrate.
Everything was going excellent.
Soon he'd have Kankuro, broken for him to fix.
