In the end Bill is a pile of bloody guts and innards, the vampire she once loved eviscerated by his own hands. His last expression flashes through her mind, his face cold, his eyes filled with such anger and vitriol it leaves her terrified her to the core. Sookie tries to reconcile the image of the man who once claimed to love her for who she was with the one who screamed she was an abomination, but her brain refuses to co-operate. She can't think, can't breathe, her body shaking with tears, and then her gaze falls on Eric.
He's in shock, his eyes wild with disbelief, and he keeps staring at the bloody puddle that lies on the floor in front of them. Instinctively she turns to him, burying her face in his chest. What should feel strange and awkward doesn't as she expels her tears on Eric and clings to him for support. Next second he has his arms wrapped around her, holding her in a gentle embrace.
Seconds turn to minutes, the alarms around them grow louder, but she can't stop crying. They remain locked in that position for a long time, next to what was once Bill.
"We have to get out of here," Eric whispers after a while.
She pulls back, nodding her head emphatically, determined to avoid glancing at the puddle on the floor. She can't look at it, not anymore.
Eric's fingers swipe the tears from her face, his touch light as a feather. Gazing up at him, it dawns on her she's not the only one in need of comfort right now. He looks broken up, sounds almost distraught, and she knows it's not an act he's putting on for her benefit. Tonight Eric had needed her to save Bill, she had wanted it also. She'd truly believed Eric's words that if anyone could bring Bill back from the brink of madness, it would be her. But she'd been wrong, too arrogant. She'd failed all of them.
Reaching for Eric's right hand, she laces her fingers through his and gives him a tight squeeze. The gesture is as much to help her as it is to soothe him.
"They're waiting for us on the rooftop," he reminds her, his left hand still curved around the back of her head and now stroking her hair ever so gently.
In her grief she'd forgotten about the rest of the group, and realises how selfish that is. They're not out of danger yet. "I know you don't need to take the elevator." He can be up there in seconds using vamp speed, she'd only be holding him back. "You go on ahead, I'll meet you up there."
"I'm not leaving you alone."
His eyes brim with intensity and concern, he's worried she'll fall apart. Or maybe he's the one who needs her right now as she's reminded of his earlier words to Bill. Lillith obliterated Godric in front of him. Dream or not, it couldn't have been easy to witness. "Okay, let's go."
Before they leave, she turns back to look one last time at what remains of the man she first fell in love with. Eric waits beside her, their hands linked together. A minute later, they hurry towards the elevator.
After they return home from the authority headquarters, Jason hits the showers but not before spouting off that tomorrow will be another long day and he'll need a good night's sleep before taking on more fangers. His hateful scorn should worry her but she's wrapped in a blanket of numbness and his words just don't penetrate through. Soon she can hear him snoring softly in the other room, but she can't bring herself to sleep. Every time she tries, she's struck by the image of Bill and the hate in his eyes.
An hour later she's staring out at the pitch black night from her kitchen window, nursing a mug of warm milk in her hands. The world may be falling apart all around her, but at this moment, in the still of the night, it's easy to believe things are the same as they've always been.
Until she closes her eyes and Bill's face comes to mind.
It's wrong to speak ill of the dead, she knows, but his last words ring in her ear over and over again making her question if the man she loved ever existed. But she doesn't want to think of him in those horrific terms. It's not fair to him.
Suddenly cold air blasts into the room and she's no longer alone. Eric. She can feel him standing a few feet away, his gaze boring into her back, hesitant of what to say to her. "Thank you for keeping us safe tonight." Her words may seem strangely trivial under these chaotic circumstances, but in light of everything that's happened, it's important that he knows how grateful she is.
"You did the same for me."
She turns around to look at him. He's freshly showered, his hair wet, and he's dressed in a different pair of dark jeans, black wifebeater and leather jacket. She wonders how many of the exact same outfits he has, and then chastises herself for it. Now is not the time to ponder Eric's wardrobe. "I'm sorry about Jason's attitude. I don't know what's gotten into him."
"Don't worry about it."
The hint of a smile on Eric's face leads her to wonder if Jason's antics amuse more than irritate him.
"Is Tara okay? And everyone else?"
"They're fine. Although I suspect Tara and Pam will need a lot of rest when they go to ground in the morning."
A heated blush spreads across Sookie's cheeks and she raises the mug to her lips to cover her reaction. "And your sister-"
"Is not someone you need to worry about. She won't hurt you."
"I know. You made her swear on Godric. I heard you."
"How are you holding up?" Concern gleams for her in his solemn blue eyes.
"I'm okay." She thinks. For now. Eric doesn't look convinced by her words and he takes slow, tentative steps towards her, like he's unsure if she'll let him come close to her or not. Setting the empty mug on the counter, she walks forward and meets him halfway.
Their arms encircle each other, her cheek pressed against his chest, his chin resting on the top of her head. She breathes in his scent, he plays with her hair. Strangely, it feels like home.
They're in Eric's cubby in the bottom level of her house, his jacket and her robe thrown on the floor. She's lying on top of him, her face nestled in the crook of his neck while his hand rests on the small of her back. Once in a while, he rubs her bare arms with his other hand. When he's still for too long, she presses tender kisses on his neck to remind herself he really is there.
They don't make love. They don't speak. Despite that, she feels more intimately connected to Eric than she's ever felt before - even during the time he'd lost his memories.
"It's not your fault," he says after a long bout of silence. As if he'd read her mind.
"Isn't it?"
"What happened tonight couldn't have been stopped. I should have realised it was already too late. The Bill you knew was gone a long time ago."
"I keep thinking about all the things he said to me."
"Don't. Don't let his words from tonight taint your memories of him."
It's disconcerting to hear Eric defend Bill, especially considering they'd never been too fond of each other.
"The blood changed him," Eric continues.
"Did you have any of it?"
There's a brief pause before he answers. "Yes."
"It didn't change you."
"I had Godric in my corner."
She knows it's not that simple. Something in Eric - perhaps the innate goodness that he's so reluctant to reveal - prevented him from falling under the blood's spell. Whatever it is, she's grateful for it and places a gentle kiss on his neck again.
The world is going to hell all around her. Bill is no longer a part of her life. Jason is filled with hate (much like Bill was in those last few moments), and Tara still can't forgive her. Then there's Warlow.
She has no idea what tomorrow will bring. For now, however, with Eric near her and his arms around her, she feels safe. Protected. Loved.
Closing her eyes, she once again waits for Bill's face to haunt her thoughts. Except this time, there's nothing. Just a calming quiet and the peace she so desperately craves.
The end.
A/N - As always, thank you for reading. I loved the finale, especially all the lovely E/S moments that we were graced with.
