Sorrow's Credence 1

Snow fell outside of the simple Mid-Western high school I now attended. Though it had been over three decades since I had first introduced myself to the human environment I still could hardly stand the rancid smell that wafted around the people that I interacted with. I stood out like a sore thumb here; every boy drooled after me as I walked past, my curvaceous body and perfect features sending them into imagined fantasies and making my female classmates glare after me in envy.

Since I had finally gotten up off of our bed I had dedicated myself to almost trying to move on. Today was one of the hardest days of the year. The scar on my hand throbbed and the bloody tears threatened to spill over again. Today was my birthday, September 13th, and it was also the anniversary of my family's death.

On that day I had turned nineteen, and as I sat in boredom, tuning out peoples' thoughts, I became fifty-one years old. I was still a fresh, young, vivacious eighteen year old to the humans surrounding me, but in reality I was middle aged. I laughed aimlessly at the thought of my mother's old nickname for me: her little middle aged daughter.

Renee, my mother, had long since passed of breast cancer, and I attended her funeral covered in a dark vale and excusing myself as one of her Kindergarten students many years ago. Charlie, my dad, had died only a few months after in a massive car accident that had also killed Angela with her partner Ben, and supposedly Edward and I. I had supervised Angela and Ben's joint funeral and I had seen to it that Charlie was given a proper service by my best friend, Jacob Black.

Jacob and I were a mix matched pair, his being a werewolf and all and my being a vampire. We were natural enemies but we had stuck it out for the past thirty-two years by the occasional phone call or random email. Like me, he hadn't aged a bit, but his family had died along with mine. His father Billy had passed about ten years before Charlie had. On those days we consoled each other and attended to our families' affairs.

'Heh, I'll give her a couple of weeks and she'll be mine.'

I immediately knew who was thinking of me and why. Tavarius Erickson was looking toward me suggestively and was imagining how I would fall into bed with him. He was new to the school, but was already over confident and thought himself a catch to most girls. He had immediately set his eyes after me the moment he had seen me. Think again, cretin.

Ever since Edward's death I had lived life almost as if I were a celibate monk. I had abstained for so long that nothing could even urge me to masturbate, and only in the beginning had I thought of it. Edward and I had only been together twice, and then he was gone.

I gripped the desk beneath my fingers, denting the wood. I had to take control of myself. This was getting too serious.

"Mr. Bergin." I said, raising my hand.

My Math teacher looked up in surprise. "What, Miss Cullen?" 'Why would she interrupt me? She never even speaks unless she is called upon.' I clenched my teeth before I could start shouting at him for calling me Miss. I preferred Ms. Then I could at least have the possibility of being married…

"May I please be excused to the bathroom?" Flawless manners had always guaranteed anything that I wanted with the teachers. My looks helped more with the males.

"Why, yes, Miss Cullen."

Teeth on edge, I was given a pass and excused.

At last, I was out of that stinking classroom. I hated the scent of humans, and I detested having to be around them for so long. Nothing was more irritating as being with over eight hundred people smelling of garbage and other nasty things. Would any one be able to stand it?

The dull murmur of multiple human minds hummed around me. After a while you got used to the constant noise; everyone talking at once and pictures flashing all around. I could see from any vantage point around the school if I wished. It would only take a minute to hone in on one or two minds and see what they were seeing.

Mind reading was a gift that Edward and I shared, though we couldn't see into each others' minds. Not until the last moments…

The bathroom was sanctuary. I drew up to the sink and let the bloody tears splatter to the bottom of the sink. Only a few; the real crying jag would come up later that night. I wiped the blood away with an overused and stained handkerchief. I would need to do laundry soon. I was running out of means to wipe my face.

When I arrived back in class I went to Mr. Bergin and gave him his pass. No words were exchanged but he watched my backside as I walked away. He had a reputation of being overly friendly with his female students, and I was not new to his disgusting thoughts when one of the cheerleaders walked by.

The lunch bell rang. Thank God.

The line was longer than usual because I got there a bit late. I had to stop off in the bathroom first, to make sure that none of the tears were left behind. My impossibly beautiful reflection was only a reminder of them. I'm not vain, it is just a fact. All of the vampires that I know have an unnatural beauty and grace about them; just making it easier for them to attract their prey.

"Hey, baby," a voice called from behind me. "Wanna' fuck me today, or tomorrow? I can wait you know." 'She'll cave eventually, they all do.'

I abruptly turned around and slapped that pervert, Tavarius, across the face. My hand left a dark mark on his ebony skin.

"Bitch!" He yelled before he lunged at me.

I darted to the side in a millisecond and caught him by the arm, originally planning to twist it up and dislocate his shoulder. I caught myself just in time though, and consoled myself by kicking the back of his knee and making him drop to the floor. Just before his head smacked the concrete I grabbed him by the shirt and let him hover an inch away from the ground and a broken nose. His heart faltered before I dropped him. Blood spurted out of his nose and made the smell worse.

As I turn to leave I said over my shoulder, "It was lovely making a fool out of you, you sick, infantile bastard. We should do this again sometime."

'Holy shit. What is up with her?' His terrified thoughts screamed out at me. He wouldn't file a report though. No reason to further humiliate himself. He was thoroughly freaked out though. My hostile appearance was only put up to protect him, but then again no one needed protection from me: the vampire who hates human blood.

The library was only a short distance away. There, I would be able to at least attempt to clear my head by reading the aging texts in its farthest corners; losing myself in history. The past was easier to endure than the cumbersome present.

'Hmm, Bella seems to be more distant than usual,' the librarian, Ms. Holly, was thinking. She's much more perceptive than most humans. Ms. Holly (only her first name, preferring it to Mallory) was the only human in which I had made an, almost, friend. She was my link back to my days in Forks, her daughter being Lauren Mallory. Even though Lauren and I hadn't really warmed to each other, it was comforting to know that I had a link to that time in my life. No matter how bitchy.

Although, I couldn't really say that. Maybe thirty-two years and a few kids had changed her. Holly talked of her grandchildren all of the time. Maybe Lauren had turned a new leaf, and become a better, nicer person. I couldn't really be too sure though.

Ms. Holly's phone rang. "Hello; this is the Taft High School library. How may I help you?" the standard greeting rang out from her slight form. I decided to listen in on the conversation just to do something; I wasn't really interested in the volume of the encyclopedia Britannica that I was holding up to the light. I'd already read it before, any way.

'"Excuse me, Holly, but we were wondering if this was yours." Why would they ask that? Did I leave something in the office today?'

"What Sharon? Did I leave something there today?"

'"No, Holly. I think your daughter is here, but I'm not sure. All she's doing is asking for the phone." Oh, dear. Lauren must have come to surprise me for my birthday.'

Shoot! I had forgotten her birthday! I'd need to go out later and get her a belated birthday gift. But Lauren was there. I guess I would be able to see if the years had changed her.

"Just send her over. I'll take care of it."

'"Alright, Holly. She's on her way.'"

"Okay, Sharon. Talk to you later."

'"Bye." Sigh… I hope Lauren is in a good mood today. Oh! I should go get Bella. I'm sure she would be eager to meet one of her parets' old school chums; God rest their souls.'

She was so sweet. I loved Ms. Holly. So kind, so innocent, even with the wisdom of age.

"Bella?" I heard her small voice call out to me over the shelves.

I got up and began making my way to her. "What, Ms. Holly?"

"My daughter has come for an unexpected visit. You know, Lauren?"

"Oh, yeah! I remember you mentioning her yesterday."

'She is so considerate.' "Well, she's on her way, and I was hoping that—" 'You could introduce yourself.'

Lauren came into the room, cutting her mother short by the clumping of her heavy snow boots. She only glanced at me in passing while kissing her mother on the cheek, but just after she bustled into the cloakroom she stopped abruptly and turned to look out at me again.

I had been wrong before to hope that she had changed in the years that we had not seen each other. She was just as mean. As she compared me with her memories she began throwing out curses and other thoughts making me the lesser out of this small group.

"Mom… who is she?" 'Ugh, she looks exactly like those weirdoes, the… the… what's-his-names… the Cullens! There we go! The Cullens.'

"Oh, Laurie, this is a student here. I told you about her before. This is Bella Cullen. You knew her parents in high school."

'Oh, yeah. I knew that this was their creepy little offspring.' "Oh, how nice. A pleasure to meet you Bella."

I took her hand with a smile. My cold touch made her flinch making it even more satisfying. "Are your parents around?"

"No, Mrs…."

"Mrs. Drew. Would you just answer my question?"

"Well, no. They died in a car accident when I was a baby."

"Oh, right! You were the only survivor in that wreck; in the papers they said it was a miracle." 'Yeah, it's a miracle that she didn't turn into some psycho, little kid with OCD, or something like that. Seriously, who would irresponsible enough to kill three other people, not only themselves?'

It took me longer than usual to bring myself into control with her words; some past grievances were brought up to the surface with this visit.

"I suppose it was…"

An awkward silence filled the room while I read their thoughts and Lauren gawked at me. Her offensive personality was nothing compared to the look she was giving me. All she was thinking about was how I shouldn't be so pretty, and she was betting herself that I had had plastic surgery after the accident to give me the beauty I had.

"You and my parents went to high school together?" I asked innocently, interrupting her thoughts.

"Yes, we did." She answered absent mindedly. Taking a closer look at me, she noticed something. "Has anyone ever told you that you are the spitting image of your parents?"

It was the first honestly kind thing that I had ever heard Lauren say to someone else. I assume I must have looked like a combination of Edward and me, but I had not ever really thought about it. To someone who had known us while I was human they would have thought that I was exactly like the two of us put together. My pale skin, grace, unbelievable beauty, and gold eyes would have immediately connected me to Edward; my physical appearance would connect me to myself as a human.

"Thank you so much Mrs. Drew. I sometimes worry that I'm losing them. Especially my… father." The thought of my being like him—even if only by appearance—put a sad smile on my face.

"Oh, I guess you could call me Lauren."

"Lauren…" I tried it out on my tongue quietly. It was strange to say after so many years. And that put my mind back on Edward.

'This kid is so weird. She looks like she lost them yesterday, let alone almost twenty years ago. Why would she worry so much though? She can barely remember them! How could she? She was too young to remember anything about them.'

"Why would you worry?"—she brought the subject up again—"You couldn't possibly remember them."

My eyes slightly narrowed. "You'd be surprised."

"Oh, sweetie," Ms. Holly interrupted. "We are both so sorry."

Thankfully, the bell rang just as she got up to give me a hug. I don't think that I would be able to stand the smell.

I hurried into the cloakroom to gather my things. As I was going through the front doors, I looked behind me and said, "Goodbye, Lauren. It was lovely to meet you."

At the tone that I said her name she had a sudden afterthought, and hurried outside to try and find me, but I was long gone; lost in the sea of students milling about in the falling snow.

'Twilight' © Stephenie Meyer

'Sorrow's Credence' © Bernadette-Cullen