Title: Pleasant Surprise
Characters: Sam, Martouf/Lantash, others
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Pairing: Samantha Carter/Martouf/Lantash
Category: Drama, angst, adventure, romance
Summary: It has been almost two years since Sam had to shoot Martouf/Lantash when they turned out to be zatarcs. One day the doorbell rings, and when Sam opens the door, she gets the surprise of her life. Outside Martouf/Lantash are standing, alive and well. How did this happen? Also, who is after them, and want to make sure they are actually dead this time?
Season: Early sixth season, just after "Descent", but starts out before "Frozen".
Notes: This was intended to be for a Het big bang on LJ, but I didn't get it finished in time - by a long shot.


Sam POV

I throw myself on the couch, turn on the television, and try to relax. We - SG-1 - have been ordered on stand-down, for at least a week, though Janet said she'd preferred we took a longer vacation.

I feel tired, exhausted almost, but also restless. To be honest, I would much rather work, than spend the time alone, at home, with only my own thoughts to keep me company.

It has been a hard couple weeks... months, actually. Or more correctly, years. I sigh deeply. We have just saved Earth again, I suppose. This time from a self-destructing Goa'uld mothership, which had turned out to be out of control for the Jaffa aboard it - because Thor's consciousness was in its systems! It sounds crazy even to think about this, but at least we managed to save Thor. The ship crashed, and we were all so close to drowning that I really prefer not to think of it.

That in itself would probably have been enough to make Janet order us off-duty. Especially after the whole mess with Anubis trying to blow up Earth's Stargate. And the fact that it isn't even two months since Daniel died, saving a lot of people on Kelowna. If he died? Did he in fact ascend? I have no idea. All I know is that my good and close friend is gone, and I miss him, terribly, every day.

Pondering Daniel's death, reminds me of all that has happened to us over the last several years. Sometimes it feels so unfair. There has been so much pain and suffering, and so many have died. Many of them good friends.

I suddenly realize that it is only about a month before it has been two years since I... since I shot Martouf and Lantash, after they had become zatarcs. It hurts thinking about it. Hurts a lot.

The thought brings an image of them to my inner eye, an image of how they looked, pleading with me to end it, before they blew themselves up and destroyed any chance of the Tok'ra learning anything from their bodies. Even at the end, they wanted to do what they could to help the Tok'ra, and an autopsy of Martouf's brain might yield information about the zatarc programming.

Not that we have heard anything about it. What has gone wrong with the Tok'ra? We were on the way to becoming such good friends. The best and most important ally we could ever have - I remember thinking it, and saying it to General Hammond. I remember even the Colonel agreeing with that assessment. 'My kind of guys' he called them.

What went wrong?

I again think of Martouf and Lantash. They fought so hard for the treaty, for cooperation with Earth. They died for it. Killed by me. I feel a strong stab of pain to my heart, thinking of their death, thinking of how I had to shoot them. Why did they have to die? They wanted nothing but to help! They had dedicated their life to helping those that could not fight for themselves, and what did it get them?

I feel a tear run down my cheek. I normally never cry, but I can't help it when I think of Martouf, and of Lantash. It feels as if someone is squeezing my heart, and my throat constricts. Why do I feel so strongly? We were becoming friends, but I didn't see him that often.

I know some of it, of course. The memories from Jolinar. She loved them, and she was Lantash's mate for 100 years. I have her memories and feelings, and they affect me. More than I usually admits. I don't know if that is why I feel this way, or if it is also partially from myself, but I do know one thing. I will always love them. I know that.

Things being as it was, with me not knowing if it was my feelings or Jolinar's, I never explored this further. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if Martouf and Lantash had survived. Would something have developed between us? I know they had feelings for me. Martouf came to tell me he...they had grown 'fond' of me, shortly before they were killed. What does that even mean? 'Fond'? Like for a friend? Or - more? Maybe he feared rejection?

Sensible of him. As confused as I was at that time, I doubt anything good would have come from him telling me he loved me.

Then he died, and I regretted never even telling him I thought of him as a very good friend. Never really telling him anything. I miss him so very much, and I spent a long time hoping they would find a way to heal him, but I don't really think they tried. Someone among the Tok'ra decided they would rather get the opportunity to examine his brain, than try and save his life. So he died, and I didn't learn of it until months later. They didn't even feel I deserved to know. Maybe I didn't. Maybe it served me well, for ignoring the feelings from Jolinar - and, and from myself.

Of course, Lantash survived for a time. Long enough for his new host to tell me Lantash loved me. As much as he had loved Jolinar. Then they both died.

It hurt, so very badly. I was emotionally unbalanced from learning Martouf was truly gone, and I had no time to grieve, or come to terms with anything, before Zipacna attacked. Lantash died before I could try to accept he would have another host. Before I could realize, accept, that not only had I loved Martouf, I loved Lantash too.

I didn't tell him, though. No, I just said I wouldn't forget him. He sacrificed himself, to save me and my friends.

He loved me, and I never told him how I felt. Not even that I considered him a friend. I hope he knew, but I regret it so much. I was in shock from it all, from all of a sudden learning Martouf was dead, Lantash slowly healing, getting a new host...and then there was the attack and the chaos.

Still, I can't forgive myself. There is no excuse.

I am startled out of my misery when the doorbell suddenly chimes. Furiously, I wipe away the tears, and throw a look at the clock. It's probably my team, or Janet - no one else usually visits. I don't have any friends outside of work.

I don't want any of them to see I have cried. I don't want to be seen as weak in front of my team mates, and Janet would probably ask a lot of questions I don't want to answer, if she saw I had cried. More than anything, I don't want them to pity me, for anything. They also wouldn't understand. They couldn't, because they didn't, couldn't understand what I felt for Martouf and Lantash. How could they? I didn't - don't - understand it myself!

The doorbell chimes again, and I hurry out into the hall. I take a look at myself in the mirror, before opening the door. My tears are wiped away, and I don't think my eyes are read enough that it's noticeable.

Satisfied, I go to open the door, but just as I do so, I notice something. I feel the strange mixture of a humming in my blood, and a zap somewhere deep in my mind that indicates the person on the other side of the door is a host.

For a second, I freeze, then I realize it's probably Teal'c, and I am sensing junior. There is a strong sense of familiarity connected with the energy signal, so I relax. Not an enemy, then.

I open the door - and almost gasp as I see who is standing outside.

"Hello, Samantha."