A Howling in the Attic
The Forward by myself
This is inspired by the song iMonster/i by Skillet and a book I remember reading about some kids daring each other to enter a 'haunted house.' I can't remember which one it was, precisely, considering the idea has been done by so many authors and that I read the book as a child myself (I always was a nerdy little thing, I'm not even sure how old I was when I read it, it was one of my first deviations from picture books, so sometime during second grade, perhaps, it feels though like I read the book much earlier than that, so the time period is of dubious origins I am sad to say), but I wouldn't be a writer if I didn't take my own shot at a horror story, despite how unoriginal it is on iso/i many levels.
Warnings can sometimes give away too much plot, if you don't mind my saying, so excuse me if mine are a wee (I just love saying wee for some reason that escapes me) vague. This is an AU (I like to think of it as Author's Universe, the author being me, of course) fanfiction with canon twists. What does that mean? You shall see. There is no magic, or at least, not in the J.K Rowling sense, anywho (another word I am fond of, despite the fact that Word doesn't believe me when I tell it that 'anywho' is indeed a word) I won't go much more into detail than that, else I'll give away more of the plot you shall (hopefully) read. Character deaths? It's possible, but unlikely at this stage of the game. We'll see. Violence? More than highly probable. Angst? A near definite. Fast updates? Probably no. Flamers accepted? Yes, I find them rather funny, plus they make it seem like my story is even more popular as they add to the review count. But be creative and witty if you're going to flame. Oh, and use proper grammar. Even the smallest of mistakes irk me so. If you need, I'll gladly give you a lesson or two. Or more (yes, it bothers me that much…blame my English teacher, she made me so OCD about it). And, well, there you go. I can't think of much else, so enjoy the world's longest fanfiction disclaimer. As of now, it is 340 words long; impressive, eh?
Here is my disclaimer, most authors make them brief, but I'm in a wordy type of mood as of now, as you've probably gathered. If I owned Harry Potter then I would not be going by the screen name of Cuddly Carrots, nor would I be writing a fanfiction about my own fiction, albeit, if I was a world renowned author, it would be a tempting thought. Actually, if I was J.K. Rowling, I probably would write an HP fanfiction, so scratch that. Also, if I were J.K. Rowling Snape and Dobby would be alive and Lily would have chosen Snape, so thus, there probably would be no Harry Potter and no need for disclaimers about said characters. There'd also probably be no Harry Potter fanfictions considering that there'd be no Harry Potter, so all of you fangirls out there, be glad that my name in no shape or form is J.K. Rowling, therefore I am not J.K. Rowling. Also, I would like to add that if I were writing this to earn money, then I have been sorely gypped and I ask that any of you lawyers out there taking the time to painstakingly read this monstrosity I have the gall to call a disclaimer to please help me out and earn me some cash, that is if I don't go into debt first from using your services. As I mentioned before, I did not steal this plot…I am merely borrowing it and jazzing it up a bit, so ha! *sticks tongue out immaturely* Anything else you recognize does not belong to me, unless if you are a stalker and you know everything I do. If you are a stalker, then get a life and stalk someone more interesting than a Snape fangirl. If this seems similar to anyone else's fanfiction, please accept my sincerest of apologies and my congratulations on steal–I mean borrowing this plot first. I pray my writing style and plot twists differentiate my baby from your own child. I also do not own any Skillet songs other than the ones I bought off of iTunes. I do not own iMonster/i nor do I own iHero/i, nor do I technically own the title chapters, seeing as I was 'inspired' by copyrighted songs. If I am correct, then I do believe that is all, and I sincerely hope that the world's longest fanfiction disclaimer has not jerked away your interest in my very own fanfiction. I'd rather it be my sub-par writing that does that, thank you very much. Now read it and weep (with tears of joy, of course!). Thank you. Oh, I thought I'd mention this while I had the opportunity. I beta'd this on my own. Yes. I know how to spell properly and use grammar efficiently (for the most part). It seems to be a dying art, and what a pity it is, and I would like to offer up my services to anyone who could use a beta. Look at my beta thingee and you'll see a complete (albeit wordy) list of my service benefits and disadvantages. Thank you, again and review since you clearly are still reading.
Chapter One: The Last Night
The secret side of me
I never let you see
I keep it caged but I can't control it.
So stay away from me
The beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it.
Severus Snape knew he was being conned by those four idiots. Ever since he had moved to Godric's Hollow with his mother in an attempt to escape, those doles had the nerve to mock him every chance they got.
They'd christened him Snivellus, ridiculing him for the time he had been found crying because he'd been hearing his father's words repeating in his mind and had a breakdown. He had thought he was alone, but Fate hadn't given him such a reprieve from life.
i"Eileen! It's that son of yours! I want him out of my bloody sight, or else I'll take him out for you!" Tobias Snape screamed./i
Snape shuddered. It was all ihis/i fault. If Severus had never been born, or if he'd just ran away that one time instead of chickening out of it, his mother might be happy. His father wouldn't have beat her–her face would never be the same because of it–and she wouldn't be living in a smelly, dirty apartment next door to what Severus highly suspected was a sex offender of some sort, what with the glares of disgust and her warnings to Severus every time the pervert flirted with her…and sometimes Severus. It frightened him.
And now, he stood before James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and a squishy rat-faced loser–yes, even Snape had the right to call him a loser–named Peter Pettigrew who worshipped the ground the other three spat on, which happened to be by Severus's feet.
"You won't do it, you're too much of a cry-baby iSnivellus/i!" Potter taunted, hocking a large and yellowed loogie at Severus's only pair of shoes, which he dodged with an odd leap his tormentors found amusing.
"Hey Potter, let me at him and I'll make him dance again!" Black leered, and Severus panicked. Whatever ihe/i had planned would be much worse than defiling Severus's shoes.
"No! I-I'll do it! J-just l-leave me alone! P-please! Ahh!" Severus choked out and screamed as Potter let him go, releasing him from the choking grip, falling to a heap on the ground.
"Yeah, you'd better! Or else…" Potter sneered cruelly.
"NO!" Lupin yelled, finally getting enough nerve to speak up. For some reason, he'd been fidgety the whole while when Severus was being beaten by Black and Potter - normally the spineless dweeb hovered around Potter and Black, neither cheering nor dissuading the two, instead looking out for anyone big enough to put a stop to the madness.
"NO! He can't! James, it's too dangerous! You don't even understand what's–"
"All the more reason to send Snivelly in before us! Relax Moony, I'm sure it's just some dying dog or something."
"NO! I-I m-mean, i-it's just that…You can't! Please, listen to someone other than yourself for once! Please! I beg of you–"
"Chill out Moons. It'll be fine!" Black nudged Lupin playfully with his elbow. "Quit being such a worry wart."
"No! I've told you! It's a bad idea!" Lupin cried desperately.
"Whatever. Nothing's gonna happen. Now, we'll meet back here at ten, okay? If anyone asks, say we're camping at the Boy Scout's picnic thing. There'll be so many nancy-boy, goody two shoe losers there that no one'll suspect a thing! They'll think we're off being little angels. Alright? That goes for you too, iSnivellus/i! Just remember that we'll find you if you stand us up, you little snot." Black said, his eyes twinkling menacingly.
"I'll be there, just remember our deal, Black! Potter!" Snape spat out, glaring at his tormenters from his spot on the ground.
"Don't you remind us, you little snot rag, your not even worthy of wiping the crap off my a–" Black was cut off before finishing his vulgar insult.
"What's going on here? Potter, what are you doing?" Said a familiar and angered voice from behind them.
Snape looked up and before his eyes was the most beautiful girl he had ever known. She had endless fiery ruby locks, cascading down from the angelic crown at her head, lit up from the sun behind her like the heavenliest of halos. Her skin a creamy pale, contrasted by a few well placed freckles on her warm cheeks, neither over nor under done, fragile dots like stars the way her skin shown, sparkled. Emerald stones rested beneath red crescents, crescents that proved the all natural beauty of her startling and bright flaming locks waving behind her proudly. The emerald stones, her eyes, burned with a fire brighter even than her roots, a righteous anger flaming wildly; a juxtaposition of the pure integrity deep within her soul. Concern filled and over brimmed the emeralds, a concern directed at Severus's crumpled body and red rimmed eyes, a concern that almost brightened his heart. Here she was, the very incarnation of beauty herself, worrying over the scrawny and dirty little boy that not even his own father wanted. In all of her perfection, she chose to care for him.
And she was perfect, or at least as perfect as the evil of earth would allow any being to be.
She was neither too tall, nor too short. Strong, yet delicate. Loving, yet fierce. Perfect, like the delicate aroma of a flower so pure, a flower unfit by any other name than–
"Lily Evans! Hello there! I was just helping Severus, old chap, up. You see, he tripped, you know how he is, and so we came over to help him–"
"Shut your mouth, Potter! I'd rather not poison my mind with any more of your half-witted lies. I'm not stupid, unlike you, you git! Go away and leave him alone, or else!" Lily snapped, her nose scrunching in disgust at Potter and his friends.
"As soon as you confess your undying love for me, my sweet Lily!" Potter flashed an all-to-charming smile at her.
"Don't hold your breath, no wait, ido/i hold your breath, then I'll never have to deal with your idiocy any more!" Lily shouted. Severus couldn't help but marvel at how brilliant her temper was.
Truly brilliant.
"Ouch, Potter, I think that was a no. Maybe next time. I think we should leave before she explodes and actually kills you for real, remember that time when she–"
"Shut up, Padfoot! Don't remind me!" Potter unconsciously rubbed at his crotch for some odd reason. "The memory still hurts, but don't worry my sweet little Lils, I've forgiven you! I won't ever give up on you, my love! Smell you later!" Potter waved at Lily with an ostentatious flourish and stalked off, trying to keep as much dignity as he possibly could. The other Marauders stalked off too, except for Lupin. He stayed, trembling–not that that was unusual, he truly was a sickly little thing, scrawnier than even Severus–and looking at Snape in fear and dread.
"What do you want, iRemus/i? Aren't you going to crawl back to your friends like the coward you are? You're the worse of them, you know that right?" Lily snarled. She really was quite the ferocious little thing, Severus decided, glad it wasn't directed at him. That would be the very ilast/i thing he needed; a woman's scorn. Especially scorn from his sweet, beautiful Lily.
"Yes, I know. I have to warn Snape about something, though." Lupin said distractedly, much to Severus's surprise. He turned to Severus. "Don't show up tonight, or else you'll find yourself with much worse than Potter and Black's torture. Back out of it. It's dangerous and you might find yourself dead, or worse." Remus said cryptically, then his eyes widened, as if he'd been struck by lightening, almost as if he somehow said too much. But what? What had he given away?
Snape shrugged it off despite the shiver that went down his spine at the dire words and decided to ponder it later, as Lily was being rather entertaining, raging at Lupin like she had just witnessed him feeding bacon to a pig or stealing candy from a baby.
"He's not going anywhere with you lot! I'll make sure of that!" Lily snapped; a rattlesnake's strike.
"Do that Lily, they don't know what they're getting into…what they'll see…hear…I've tried all I can, and it's hopeless. Talk some sense into Snape, or else, he may not come back." Lupin said ominously and walked away, despite Lily's undignified indignant shouts.
"Get back here! If you're going to warn someone, don't be so vague about it! Coward! Yeah! Just keep walking, we don't need you and your futile warnings! Chicken!" Lily shrieked without any dignity whatsoever, going so far as to flap her arms like those of a chicken's wing. Severus was horrified, humiliated and slightly amused.
Well, maybe a bit more than islightly/i amused.
"Crud...Evans? Can you keep the volume down a bit, I have a head ache." Severus moaned, though he was trying not to laugh.
"Oh! I'm sorry Sev, they just get me so mad…Especially Potter! The swine! I certainly ihope/i he won't come back. Right? They're all so infuriating, Pettigrew bouncing about as if they're the most amazing group to have ever formed since John Lennon met Paul McCartney! Scurrying about like a rat with no shame, and Remus, oh that Remus! He just lets them get away with everything! He iknows/i it's wrong, the stupid self righteous prat, oh the nerve of him–"
"Lily! Good gosh, quit harping on about them. Hopefully, after tonight, things'll get better and maybe they'll ignore me for once in their pathetic lives."
"Huh? Are you going to do something? Oh tell me! Please! What are you going to do, I'm all up for vengeance!" Lily smirked with a frightening twinkle boiling out from the depths of her simmering eyes.
"No Lily, nothing like that. I've made a bet with them. All I have to do is show up here tonight at ten, take a nap in the old shack that they've come to the conclusion is haunted for a measly thirty minutes and leave. They don't believe I'll do it, but I've seen worse things than a few cobwebs and some groaning floor boards."
"You mean the Shrieking Shack? But Sev, it really is haunted, and there's always these strange people loitering about it, and, aren't you afraid of ghosts? They might follow you, haunt you for life!" Lily cried dramatically, fear creeping into her normally bold and stubborn eyes.
"Really, nothing's gonna happen. I promise." Severus said, but he knew that no ghost could possibly be as haunting as the memories he bore. No ghoul could haunt him like the image of his father's face in his mind as it ruined every moment of even the slightest triumphs he ever had since the day he was born. Anything else didn't even come iclose/i to comparing with the fear his father's silhouette wrought as he raised his fist to collide with whichever poor soul had messed the smallest of things up, caused the most minor of inconveniences, the least of mistakes.
Nothing even scraped at the murderous glare in his father's eyes the first time his mother threatened to move out. Severus shivered and tried to forget the pain, the agony, the fear, but mostly; his inability to do anything about it. He knew that someday his father would find them and then his mother and he would have to run away again.
The first time his father found them wasn't really a shock, more of a biting disappointment. The second time, it had been expected, but for some reason, the third time the man had found his mother and he, Severus was flabbergasted.
It turned out that despite the saying; the third time was not the charm.
They had barely escaped, his father had given his mother a concussion and other unspeakable injuries and was turning on little Severus as the police appeared.
Of course, his father escaped.
As always.
His mother still had a limp and used a cane, suffering short term memory loss to add insult to the literal injuries.
As a result, Severus was not a stranger to fear or pain or even the suffocating grip of despair. Those very things haunted him every moment of his life in the paradox of paranoia: if he watched his back; he could run, but if he ran; could he watch his back without falling, or worse, running in a circle, doomed to the eternal cycle of his life?
Of course, doomed to an eternal cycle was the basic definition of paradox.
"Sev, I think you should listen to Lupin. It's not safe!" Lily said, hugging Snape despite the phlegm that defaced the ground around them.
"Lily, believe me. It will be perfectly safe." Compared to his father's wrath, Snape mentally corrected.
"I still think it's a bloody rotten idea, and I'm going to worry about you until I see you again! Don't you idare/i even ponder for a imoment/i doing something stupid that gets you killed, or else I'll kill you first!" Lily declared, righteous anger flaring in her eyes again, hair cascading behind her almost like a cape.
Hmm. Lily the super hero, an interesting thought.
What would her power be?
Perfection, Snape decided. Of course, he was a little biased, but it wasn't like he was obsessed. Right?
Right?
Nah.
"I'm not even going to itry/i to work out the implications of your threat. My brain would surely explode from the conundrums and paradoxes your plan indicates."
"Good, because if your brain exploded, the most intelligent thing I'll have left to talk to around hear will be the cracks in the sidewalk."
"You could always talk to yourself, like that batty old fraud Trelawny does, though I don't recommend reading tarot cards while walking, I saw her crash into the lamp post one time. I'd dare say her 'Inner Eye' didn't quite see that one coming."
"Really? That's funny, though I do pity the poor thing. One time I had to stop Pot-head and the Peanut Gallery from hiding her stuff; they thought it would be amusing to see if her 'Inner Eye' could find it. I accidentally threw her crystal ball at Potter's head, it landed on the cement, leaving a brilliant crack in the iside walk/i, though I'm sure Potter's head would have shattered the thing, thick as he is…" Snape snorted at the blatant insult at Potter's cranial capacity.
And so the two continued 'Potter bashing' for the next half hour before Lily had to return home. Severus walked her there, concerned about her safety. Lily always thought it was so sweet that Severus was always trying to protect her, despite the fact that ishe/i was always saving ihim/i from the clutches of the Marauders.
It was the principle of the thing, really, Lily justified. Lily smiled and waved from her doorstep, finally going inside as she bid him to be careful, and waved, again, from the other side of the window. Severus always made sure she got in the house safely before leaving.
She always worried for him, knowing his own home was not in the nicest part of Godric's Hollow. She knew that there was something bothering him, and it was not just because half the time when she saw him he had tears in his eyes, but because of the sorrow in the glimpses of his soul she saw every once on a while.
The flinches.
The bags under his eyes.
His pallor skin complexion.
The way he bowed his head down whenever he talked to someone.
She wanted to know what it was, but he never told her. He'd always change the subject. One time, she got the slightest of hints, or at least she thought so, but the clue made no sense. She didn't understand what it was that he slipped and forced him to flush and stammer and ultimately run away from her.
It had started normal, with Lily saving the poor thing from the gang of bullies. They had been trying to super glue his face to the sidewalk and nearly succeeded.
"Oi! Potter, what are you doing?" Lily screamed as she ran towards the circle where that nasty Black–more like iBlech/i Lily's mind corrected with revulsion–kid was holding Sev's face to the ground, scraping the skin against the rough ground trying to still a fighting Severus, Pettigrew isitting/i on Severus's back. It made her want to vomit.
She tasted vile in the back of her throat when she realized what Potter was doing with a tube of something she couldn't see as to what the contents were, rubbing at Sev's cheeks and nose with a clear substance of some sort.
"I. Can. Not. Believe. This. YOU GUYS ARE THE BIGGEST PILES OF…" Lily cursed, and rather creatively too, at the Marauders for a good thirty minutes before someone threatened to call the police if she didn't quiet down. She somehow managed to give Potter and Black bloody eyes and black noses–as described by Potter and Black, the pain disorienting and screwing with their speech abilities and coherent thought, the later of the two skills already sorely lacking without Lily's help–and sent Lupin and Pettigrew scurrying away, both having to carry the other half of their posse.
Lily, having finished clobbering the twits, turned back to Severus. He was still lying on the ground; staring face first into the concrete; a few splatters of blood surrounding him from his face being rubbed violently into the ground; the tube of super glue lying emptied and forgotten inches from the black hair, matted and tangled from the struggle and the tube's contents.
He looked utterly defeated.
Lily knew the boy was crying from the semi-rhythmic shuddering the flat lying body emitted, synchronizing with the gasps of breath muffled by the sidewalk.
"Sev? Sev? Are you alright? Sev, sweetie?" Lily asked in a kind voice, gathering him into her arms with motherly affection, rocking him like a small child.
"G-g-go aw-w-way…L-leave me al-lone…p-p-please…" Severus whimpered, breaking Lily's heart as her compassion over-brimmed from the very depths of her soul.
"Shh. Hush Sev, they're just a bunch of cowards. They're too stupid to think about anyone but their own bloody selves. Shh." Lily hushed him as he hid his face in her shoulder.
"If you want, we can go over to the park by the tree. You remember that tree I showed you, right Sev?" She asked as if speaking to a child. It annoyed Severus to no end and yet, somehow, it comforted him.
He nodded, still refusing to look at her–to let her see him bawling like a baby. It was too embarrassing and he felt emasculated enough, the super glue residue having dried on his face along with the pebbles, the dirt, and even his own hair! His nasty hair, greasy because the grime and dank from his room, his home's grime could never be fully removed no matter how many times he showered himself, or scrubbed the apartment down with a clean tooth brush.
Lily held his hand and led him to the park.
It wasn't far away, but somehow it felt like an eternity.
Lily felt like her heart was dying with each defeated sniffle and sob coming from Severus with each step.
Each heartbreaking step.
And then, finally after a century, they were at the tree.
The tree with branches so heavy, they hid the whole of it, no one able to see in unless they knew what to look for. It was Lily's hiding place.
The first time she had brought Severus to it, he had been so happy, knowing that it was so special to her, and she hoped he would remember that joy when she took him there.
"Come on Sev, go ahead and sit down. Yes right there." Lily said, helping him down and stroking his hand and arm all the while. When he realized what she had been doing, he turned a slight red and tried to look away, pulling his arm away, but her hand instead began stroking his hair, gently parting through the mats, helping him get the crap Potter smeared all over him out of his hair.
He tried to get her hands away from him, but it was to no avail.
"Stop Sev! I'm getting the crap out of your hair whether you like it or not!" Lily huffed. Severus sighed and let her continue on with it, knowing it wasn't worth the fight.
"Whatever, but when complain about your hands sliding all over everything because of the grease, remember that I tried to stop you." Severus pouted.
"It's not so bad. You know, my mum used to baby sit Potter when he was little. She said that he enjoyed smearing his hair with poop and refused to bathe even when his hair smelled as rotten as his personality. He did that up until he was six. A little grease isn't so bad." Severus snorted half-heartedly.
"Sirius Black, he liked to pee on everyone and blamed it on the dog. I always thought he was trying to mark his territory. I remember one time, my mum was talking to his mum at the grocery when all of a sudden, I saw Black peeing on some little old lady's shoes. She slipped on it and my mother and I left while the woman was screaming bloody murder at Black and his mum. He kept trying to convince them that it was the doggie who did it.
"Oh, and Peter, well, he istill/i wets himself, quite frequently too. He did it at school during an exam and it got all over the bags of those sitting near him." Lily said after a slight pause, giggling at the memories of the three boys and their rather disturbing issues with biological waste.
"That doesn't help much, that lard boy groupie sat on me. Now I'll never be able to wear these clothes again, even if the gits hadn't ruined them with the super glue."
"At least you didn't wet yourself. Though, maybe that's their rite of passage?" Lily looked thoughtful.
"Lily, that was the most revolting thing I've ever heard you say."
"Yeah, sorry…Oh! I know! How about this: I have a picture of Potter in a lady bug costume. My mum told me that for years, he refused to be anything else for Halloween and would wear the thing when he slept with his stuffed kitty that he named Fwuffy, because he couldn't say Fluffy. He still sleeps with Fwuffy by the way, his mum told me and he got all defensive. He even istill/i calls it Fwuffy!" Lily laughed.
"We could hold it hostage and demand a ransom, and you know that picture would look lovely posted on every street lamp on the block…"
"Or in town…"
"In Europe!" Sev smirked, the mischievous gleam still not fully returning to his eyes, despite Lily's best efforts.
"I hate Potter's guts." Lily spat disgustedly after a brief silence.
"Me too. I hate him almost as much as I hate my f–" Severus froze, eyes widening.
"Sev? Sev? What's wron– Sev! Where are you going! Sev! SEV!" Lily screamed after Snape, his emaciated legs pumping as fast as his malnourished body let them.
Lily wondered what exactly it was that Severus was going to say, but never finished.
Something that started with an 'f.'
But what started with an 'f' though, that could cause such a reaction, such despising?
Friend?
No, that would make no sense unless if Severus had some sort of wacky and warped view of friendship, but you never knew.
Face?
That was possible, Severus did seem to have a low self esteem, but in the context of the sentence, it didn't make much sense.
Freckles?
No, Severus didn't have freckles and anyways, that would belong in the same category as face; not making much sense because of context.
Fears?
It still wasn't quite; it had seemed more like he was talking about a person…
A person?
A person…
Did Severus perhaps have any siblings? She didn't think so.
Her eyes popped wide and her jaw dropped.
It hit her. She figured it out.
His ifather/i.
Severus never talked about him; he'd occasionally talk about his mother, but inever/i his father.
But what would cause a boy to hate his father?
Did the cur run out on them–it would explain why they were alone, but, wait! Oh.
Oh dear.
She suddenly recalled some of the little hints in past conversations that Severus and his mother were in danger, were on the run for something…
Could it be?
Oh gosh…
She remembered on the few times he mentioned his mother, the look in his eyes, the sadness, the pain, had she been injured?
His tears.
The crying.
It all made sense!
And, oh gosh, those scars all over him when they first met! The scars he refused to talk about! The shapes, the sizes, they all looked like they came from blunt objects…
The burns.
Lily felt like she was going to be sick.
The utter loathing, but never fear in his eyes whenever the Marauders beat him! The way he generally brushed it off as if it were no deal!
Because it wasn't a big deal in the scheme of things.
It made sense.
Oh gosh…
"Mother, I need to go see Severus right now! Oh my gosh, I've just realized something…Oh. My. Gosh!" Lily screamed and began crying.
Perhaps she was wrong, she ihoped/i she was wrong, but deep down, she knew she was right. She knew it!
"I'm sorry sweet heart, it's too late. I don't want you going over to that part of town, it's too dangerous. It'll have to wait until tomorrow, I'm afraid." Lily's mother said.
"But mom! It's important! Please, just this once! I swear nothing'll happen! Please!" Lily cried.
But her mother was adamant. It would have to wait until tomorrow.
I'm just a step away,
I'm just a breath away,
Losing my faith today.
Falling off the edge today.
Chapter Two: Whispers in the Dark
It's scratching on the walls
In the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can't control it.
Hiding under the bed
In my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me, make it end?
"Oh Severus, I'm glad that you've made friends! Be good tonight, and be careful!" His mother cautioned, rubbing the guilt in his eye like it was an acid treated lemonade.
"Yes. You be careful, too. If anything is suspicious, run. Don't look back." Severus warned his mother, knowing that she wouldn't run. She'd try to bargain with the sadist and set Severus free, the batty old lady.
"Never you mind about that! Shoo! Run along, you wouldn't want to keep your friends waiting, would you? Get out of this disgusting hole! Shoo!" His mother ushered him out the door, cheerful for the first time in weeks. Her excitement was like adding salt to the acidified lemonade in his eye.
He shifted his back pack a bit and walked over to the meeting place. Waiting there for three hours was safer than walking out of his home at night for just thirty minutes. He tried to ignore his dirty neighbor's leering, as the man leaned out of his window nevertheless. Severus wanted to shower off in a fountain of bleach; the pitiful excuse of a man made him feel contaminated.
He got to the corner where Potter and his sycophants had surrounded him, leaving no room to escape–the rotten cowards–and sat down, knowing from experience to hide himself as best as he could. Even if this was a safer part of Godric's Hollow, there was still a chance that iHE/i could find Severus, alone and defenseless. Helpless.
Hopeless.
Knowing that napping would be suicidal, Severus decided to people watch instead. A way of keeping guard and entertaining at the same time.
Lupin stood up and walked nervously towards the house.
He was scared for his friends.
What if the restraints were broken? What if the situation got out of hand?
Lupin shook his head, he had tried so hard to convince them to not come, but he knew that it wouldn't work. They'd find a way, no matter what. Lupin wanted to cry.
What if they died?
What if Snape, the boy who was simply trying to get the bullies to leave him be, got hurt? Why did the fools have to get him involved? Snape had inothing/i to do with it! Nothing! He was an innocent bystander, a stranger!
For some reason, Snape's involvement made the situation all the more real for him. This wasn't just some foolish dare, this was suicide! Or worse, but Lupin shook his head of that thought. He didn't want to think of what the consequences of ithat/i would be.
He'd just have to let it happen and hope that the boys could run fast. Really fast.
"Snivellus, I see you decided to come. We were sure you'd weasel out of it." Potter mocked.
"Took you fiends long enough. For a while, I thought that perhaps iyou/i were the ones 'chickening out.'" Severus bit back.
"We aren't the scrawny isniveling/i cowards, iSnivellus/i!" Black said menacingly.
"And what do you call surrounding someone weaker than you, four to one? Is that what bravery is, because if so, then I'm proud to be a isniveling/i cow–ughh!" Severus was cut off by a fist to his nose. Potter's fist.
"Shut up!" Potter said intelligently, panting like a scorned infirm hooked to an iron lung.
"Where's Moony?" Pettigrew asked excitedly.
"He said he couldn't make it. He looked pretty sick when I saw him last, I think he's having another one of his episodes." Black replied, trying to hide his concern for his friend with his casual air.
Severus wanted to make a mordant comment, but decided against it. The effect would be lost by the blood soaked chokes from his bleeding nose and he'd rather not have another injury before absolutely necessary.
"Well, okay then. Let's go. Don't leave our sight, Snivelly!" Potter barked, shoving Snape in front of him.
"Wouldn't dweam of it, Poddew!" Snape snapped, wincing at his words as the boys laughed cruelly at him. Potter shoved Severus harshly forward towards the Shrieking Shack again.
"So, Snivelly, we're a bit early, so you get to wait inside the Shack until eleven, then you come out and tell us what's in there, got it?" Potter asked Severus acerbically.
"Yes, I do Poddy." Snape bit back, his voice still sounding clogged as Potter swung at Snape's head again, a blow which Snape thankfully ducked.
"Shut it and show some respect, you filthy little toe-rag!" Potter roared. Snape winced and was quiet for the rest of the short walk.
They were there.
Snape was a bit nervous, but he could do it. He knew it, and the possible rewards–though highly unlikely, if the Potter Pals kept their word, then Severus Snape was Ringo Starr's long lost handsome twin brother–for a success were worth the possible dangers, which were mainly restricted to broken bones, scratches and the like. Nothing he hadn't ever faced on a regular basis before. He could do it.
Right?
"iSnivelly/i, are you ready? Go on in there and have fun with the ghosts of the Shrieking Shack!" Potter and Pals laughed, Potter shoving him onward.
"Whatever, cowards!" Snape barked and ran into the Shack before anyone could swing at him again, knowing the other boys wouldn't dare to follow him in there.
It was about eight, judging by the light outside, so Severus had awhile before he could be free. He wondered what the Marauders had been doing, wandering the streets so late at night. He shrugged it off, he really could care less, opting instead to look around at his shelter for the next three hours.
The Shack looked rather like a pitiful metaphor for Severus's life: everything was torn nearly beyond recognition; sofas shredded, tiles torn, wallpaper sliced by…claw marks?
What? iClaw marks/i?
Nah, Severus's eyes were probably playing tricks on him. The house wasn't haunted, perhaps it was a bear of some sort…do bears live in Godric's Hollow? Maybe it was a lion, or maybe some tramp or hermit was in a particularly aggressive mood one night–albeit, that thought wasn't particularly comforting either.
Surely there were plenty of logical explanations, right?
Snape put the thoughts out of his head for now, he didn't want to start his fears prematurely.
He needed to relax and calm down. Maybe take a nap? No, that wouldn't be wise, if someone had actually made their home there in the wretched place, Severus didn't want to wake to the fury of a hobo's rank breath screaming in his face, especially if it was the violent one responsible for destroying the furniture to shreds. You know what they say; Hell hath no fury like a scorned hermit, right?
Severus entered what was once a sitting room of some sort and sat down on a vile couch. The thing had once been a pinkish shade of some sort, faded and moldy as it now was. The cushions were slashed open in an angry rage, gaping mouths spewing forth fountains of yellowed stuffing fluff. Apparently someone found something about it offensive, more than likely the hideous shade did the trick, and decided to avenge their carnal disgust upon it.
But something was odd about it.
Something didn't fit, and Severus studied it for a minute; and then it hit him. The dismal thing, though stained, oddly enough appeared to have no mouse droppings defiling it. No bird's nests or any of the like were found in the tattered flaps of the couch's remains.
So…odd.
iWhat was going on here/i? Snape wondered.
Severus settled down on the queer seat, trying not to get too much of the sofa's contents on him, already thinking up excuses for having wads of couch fillings on him to his mother. Really, it was more of a vain attempt to distract himself from the nervous tension the room seemed to emanate; pulse; ignite.
Something didn't feel right…
iSomething/i was wrong.
iTerribly/i wrong.
Severus shook his head, desperately trying to rid himself of the plaguing thoughts relentlessly invading his mind. He looked out the window and saw it was dark already; it would be a full moon tonight, and it looked as if it were finally coming out.
His skin prickled with goose bumps as the foreboding air grew more and more suffocating, more and more fearful, more and more…idangerous/i…
iDeadly/i…
iFrightening/i.
The house stilled. It was the period of suspension before the roller coaster goes over the edge; the time between lightening's flash and thunder's crashing roar; the moment after the headlights blind the eerie yellow doe eyes and directly before the car skids off the oily rain soaked road into a ditch. The single point where before meets after. The moment when the world starts before you noticed it ever stopped in the first place.
Something was about to change.
Something was about to happen. Something ibig/i.
Severus stiffened in the utter surrealism of the moment.
The whole time in the house had been the point where before meets after, as Severus was about to find that out.
iCreak/i!
Snape jumped. What was that?
iCrunch/i!
Snape stood up wildly and turned his head around–looking for the direction the sound was coming from–when he heard the first scream; the first long tortuous note, piercing the air and the night with its agony. The note that haunts him in the dead of the night almost as much as his father's fist. The note changed, and it became fiercer, he could hear rips, tearing, claws, screaming!
Screaming!
The screaming! Was it his father? Was he beating his mother again, allowing his son to hear her cries as a 'warm up' before turning towards him? Was it his turn now?
No!
Not yet, at least.
Thuds and thumps banged all around Severus as rips roared in his ears and the screaming screeched and became higher–higher–louder–a piercing note of the highest agony Severus had ever heard–louder–crescendo–ever so louder–the torture increased–and–climaxing high in the air–no clear destination as to what it seemed to be building up to and then–and then–
Silence.
The cacophony of insanity came rudely and abruptly to a solid halt, echoing slightly as it seemed to have reached what Severus hoped was either the climax or, better yet, the end of the screeching disharmonious symphony.
The silence roared.
The quiet seemed so fragile, so freezing; it was as if nothing would ever move or make sound again. It was an all encompassing spell; a constraint. Yet, the silence that replaced the screams seemed even louder and more ominous than its predecessor. It thickened; fermented; strained.
It built.
It was too soon for the noise to end.
Much too soon.
"Ahh!" The voice sounded again but something was different somehow. The voice, it wasn't screaming anymore, it was…
It was…
It was…growling?
Growling?
"H-hello?" Snape asked tentatively, and there was a small moment of constricting silence before something answered.
"I told you not to come!" A voice roared.
Something was familiar about the voice, but it was wrong. It was all wrong.
"I warned you! Run before I–" The voice pleaded before howling again.
Howling.
Oh.
The full moon; those scratchings on the wall.
The howling; the pain.
It led up to one thing; a thing of myths and movies and nightmares. A thing Severus hoped he was wrong about.
Werewolf.
Oh.
Oh dear.
But, it couldn't be, right?
Either way, he had to get out of there, and fast! Potter and those idiots didn't matter anymore! This was ilife/i or ideath/i! He had to run, but to where?
"Hurry! Run, I can't, oh, I can't hold out any…longer…go!" The voice demanded, but Severus was frozen. He still had no idea where the voice was coming from. It was so loud, it seemed to come from everywhere! Where could he run to?
All around him! The voice, it was iall around him/i!
How could he know where to run if he didn't know from which direction he was being chased? Should he run idown/i into the floor boards, or iup/i into the ceiling?
iUp/i?
iOh no!/i iUp!/i
Severus turned his gaze upwards in time for a dribble of slobber to hit his face.
"Boo." The voice snarled, all hints of restraint gone, as the thing above sneered at him.
"No!" A voice yelled as the wolf man launched itself at Snape with deadly accuracy.
The Marauders sat outside in a circle, watching the Shack; Potter in particular watching with an unusual focus that rarely was directed at something other than pranking unsuspecting victims.
The darkness had enshrouded them and the moon was coming out slowly, steadily, softly simmering behind the clouds.
"Pads, I think we've made a mistake." Potter said, his voice shaking slightly, though it may have been because of the intense pressure on his bladder.
They had been expecting the scrawny, greasy-haired git to come running and screaming helter-skelter out of the ruins as the boys laughed at him hysterically, but Severus had been in the building for an hour and all was silent. Too silent.
Still,
calm,
and tense.
"I told you already, I bet the little turd ran home, trying to play one on us. He's probably laughing his scrawny butt off at us right now. We should just leave and play an extra hard prank on him tomorrow." Black whined. He ihated/i waiting.
He hated waiting even more than he hated Snivellus, which was really quite an impressive feat.
"No. Pads, I have a bad feeling."
"Your only saying that because you drank all that tea, you twit."
"No, I'm not! We should've listened to Moony. He knew something we don't! Maybe we should go on in and try to–"
Suddenly, Potter was cut off by a loud scream which sent an unpleasant jolt down to his already spasm-wreaked bladder.
"What the–" Black cursed.
"See! I itold/i you something was wrong! I'm going in! Even if he's pranking us, it's not worth the risk if something's really wrong! Are you coming with me, or not?" Potter rushed to gather himself up and stood with a slight stumble but his moment of grace did nothing to calm the glare he sent at Black, his bladder's impending doom not helping his mood.
"Calm down Potter, a spider probably just fell on his greasy hea–" Black was cut off by another ear piercing scream.
"I don't care! I'm going, even if by myself! Peter, see if you can get help!" Potter turned and scrambled towards the house, ripping the door off its hinges as he raced inside.
Potter ran towards where the screaming was coming from, not hearing anything but the beating of his heart, thundering like a roaring waterfall throughout his pulsating veins. He found Snivellus, no iSeverus/i, he corrected himself mentally, and nearly fainted at what he saw, though luckily he did not wet himself; his body seemed to be completely frozen in fear quite to the contrary.
Severus was standing in the middle of a room, turning around wildly, trying to find something. The boy was trembling so much it was a wonder that he didn't collapse and foam at the mouth.
But what horrified Potter was not the state of Severus's fear, in fact, Potter found it quite reasonable. You see, Potter didn't need to ask what the boy was looking for, or why he was so scared because Potter already found the answer to both questions.
A leering monster, twice as tall as any of the boys, gangly arms and legs that if outstretched they'd the meet parallel walls; crouched down–or was it crouched up?–with its claws dug into the popcorn ceiling, supporting what was probably a hefty weight directly above Severus's head, hanging upside down and staring at Severus, eyes dangerous, but with a slight spark of something human.
The beast was covered in hair, long coarse mousey hair, spittle dribbled from its mouth; great globs of saliva threatening to descend upon the greasy scalp below it. Fangs over hung from his, from iits/i mouth, jaws not deep enough to contain the yellow daggers within the foul and hungry mouth. Limbs ended in a paw and hand hybrid, each finger erupting with a knife-sized claw; all outstretched and ready for the hunt. Its chest heaved and panted, as if trying to restrain itself.
It was speaking, but Potter heard nothing over his fear. When he saw the dangerous eyes lose any sense of civilized cognition and the horror itself lunged for Severus, Potter launched himself too, forgetting all bladder related thoughts.
"No!" He yelled and pounced at the horror-struck Severus, grabbing the boy to safety from the spot where the monstrosity was gnawing at the ground in a hungry rage, trying to find its prey but to no avail.
The beast howled when it sniffed the air and felt the fear contained within two beating hearts, thrumming and pulsing deliciously. He turned his head towards the two cowering bodies, the most mouthwatering heat emanating from the–albeit–small bodies.
A lovely snack.
"RUN!" One of the delectable treats screamed piteously, dragging the other one up with a yank of the arm.
The foolish little morsels, did they really think that they'd get away so easily?
No matter, the feisty ones always had a little kick to them and he did enjoy a little bit of spice with his meals.
The two boys fled from the monster, trying to get away, but the thing knew where every door was, every window, every chance of redemption they could possibly hope to employ.
It was so fast, they couldn't escape him.
It was no use.
They had to think fast, or else they'd find themselves in the belly of the beast!
"It's…no use! It's…too fast! We're…done…for!" Potter gasped, tiring from running about the house to the amusement of a hungry man-eater.
"We need…a…distraction…of some…sort…I can't…make it…any longer…" Severus panted out to the boy behind him. Severus was, surprisingly, in the lead.
"Oh…okay…I…have…an…an…idea…" Potter panted and stopped, clutching his side as he winced in pain.
"No…it's…too…late…" Severus groaned.
The two panted like dogs for a long minute, and then Severus's hairs stood on end as he felt hot breath drift down the back of his neck and squealed, jumping back towards Potter in an awkward jump/turn that was hindered further by how out of breath he was.
"Well, well, well. What do I have here? Have you both decided to give up yet?" The monster sneered, saliva glistening with a sickening sheen and the thing licked his lips hungrily.
Fear filled Potter's eyes, but for some reason, Snape's filled with determination and he spoke up to the savage beast heaving before them.
"I have…but…let him…go…don't hurt…him…" Severus gasped, for the first time beating Potter to the punch. He sank to his knees, his words were barely understandable through the heavy panting and the loud breathing of the wolf.
"NO! Let him…go! Take…me…instead!" Potter gasped out, glaring feebly at Severus.
"Are…you…mad?" Severus huffed.
"Just…Just go…My fault…Shouldn't have told you to…do…this.." Potter wheezed.
"NO!" Severus shouted, though it was more of a loud whisper. "I can't go…you go…my life is worthless anyways…I'm gonna die anyways…He'll kill me eventually… GO!" Severus demanded, looking as authoritative as Potter did at the moment, clutching his own side in agony.
"Save your breaths, neither of you are going!" The beast laughed, but for a second there was a pain in his eyes, a look of utter regret and self loathing, a look Severus was unaware that he himself carried in his own eyes, but recognized from the one the only–
Severus didn't have time to finish the thought because the beast lunged for Potter and the next sequence Severus never could fully recall in the aftermath, for Severus's body moved so fast that before his mind could even comprehend what was going on, his stance had already evolved into a brave and rather stupid reaction.
Instead of letting the thing maul Potter, avenging Severus for the weeks of torment Potter inflicted upon Severus's already miserable existence, Severus grabbed the first thing he saw–which so happened to be a chair leg–and iwhacked/i Lupin on the nose so hard, blood spewed everywhere and a few teeth came flying out.
The beast howled in misery and the distraction was enough to pull Potter towards the window to safety, until Potter froze directly in front of the glass panes.
"WHAT'S iWRONG/i WITH YOU! RUN, YOU MORON!" Severus bellowed, tugging on the immovable boy's arm as Potter stared at him in shock and admiration, paying no heed to Severus's instructions and wrenching himself from Severus's grip instead.
"You–you–you just…you isaved/i me!" Potter stammered and Severus wondered if perhaps he accidentally had hit Potter's skull during the swing, but Potter seemed to come back to his senses slightly, shook his head hard to clear his malfunctioning brain of its incredulous thoughts, and grabbed Severus's wrist and they crashed out of a window, unhindered by the monster that was still howling in its anguished nose, the screams sounding slightly gargled due to the blood.
The glass shattered–it perhaps would have been a better idea to break the glass ibefore/i jumping, but hindsight is never useful in dire situations, well, as far as Severus knew, hindsight was useless.
They ran over to the two boys shivering in the cool of a Godric's Hollow's night, highlighted in the eerie white blanket of the dying full moon.
"Sirius! You are inever/i going to believe this!" Potter exclaimed, panting like a pug having an asthma attack.
"Who cares, Potter? Let's get out of here before the thing eats us, or worse, ibites/i us. Tell the idiots about your heroism when there isn't a visious thing after us." Snape whispered, adrenalin pumping in his veins despite his cool demeanor, but if you listened carefully, you could hear the slight tremble of excitement in his voice.
"Shut up, iSnivellus/i! Potter, tell me what–" But Black was cut off abruptly by Potter.
"Yeah, he's right. We need to get out of here, then, I'll tell you ieverything/i! Godric, it was iso awesome/i!" Potter looked so excited, as if he thought being chased by a bloodthirsty werewolf was better than April Fool's Day made into a daily requirement. Potter, in fact, was even more excited than he had realized until Pettigrew stealthily whispered in his ear as they ran on to their club house, ditching Severus.
"James, I think you need new pants…"
I am just a man.
Not superhuman.
I'm not superhuman.
Someone save me from the hate!
Chapter 3: Comatose
I feel it deep within,
It's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster.
I hate what I've become
The nightmare's just begun.
I must confess that I feel like a monster.
I, I feel like a monster.
I, I feel like a monster.
Severus had slumped against a tree and watched the three Marauders run off to who knows where. He didn't know what to do; it was much too late to go to Lily's house, he didn't idare/i go home alone, and he hated sleeping outside.
He was stuck.
Sure, he could've gone with the Potter Pal Fan Club, but he'd take streaking up and down his own neighborhood, starkers, and with no one around as witnesses to protect him from the shady characters that lived next door over joining a slumber party with Potter, Black and the boy who wet himself - though he thought he heard Pettigrew whispering something to Potter about needing new pants, so maybe the rat wasn't the only one.
Of course, if Severus had a full bladder, its contents would have been released a long time ago.
Severus looked up at the sky, trying to hypothesize as to what ungodly hour it was. The sky was considerably brighter than he thought it should be. He'd made it through the night.
He survived.
Severus wasn't sure as to whether he was relived or disappointed.
If he had died, it would have been isuch/i a mercy. No more Potter. No more Black, nor overly excited stalkers of the previously mentioned Potter. No more werewolves, amnesiac mothers, abusive fathers set out to kill Severus and his mother for walking out on him.
Nothing.
Alas, fate didn't work that way. Fate was a sadistic brute, a fiend far more savage than any lycanthrope could ever raise a tail to. Fate was the evil that wrought Severus just to live in the horrors of life. His misery. His Hell. Fate had forced him to suffer through the demented cycle of his life, running, escaping, running, escaping. Running to escape only to escape so he could run.
Severus had decided a long time ago that Fate hated him, and Hate fated him. He wasn't meant to be happy; he was meant to be miserable.
It all started when he was born, before that apparently everything was fine. His mother loved his father, his father loved his mother. They got married.
All was happy smiling rainbows and dancing woodland creatures. All they needed was seven dwarves, and they'd have had themselves a fairy tale.
And then, to add chocolate to the already sickeningly sweet desert called ilove/i, the happy couple was going to have a baby! All their dreams come true!
They had both been excited, until the day that everything changed. The defining moment separating before and after. The smiling rainbows frowned and barfed on the woodland creatures, sickened by the soured love parfait dessert.
The birth.
The end of Tobias and Eileen's happiness, and also, the beginning of Severus's life.
Severus was born with a condition–he didn't know precisely what it was, his mother wouldn't tell him–that changed everything. Medical bills went up, Tobias lost his job when he had to help his wife care for the baby and had to leave work one too many times.
They lost the house, the car, everything.
Everything.
Tobias turned to gambling and lost what little pocket change was left for any kind of entertainment and had nothing else to take his frustrations out on except for Eileen and the one who ruined everything the moment his body exited the womb.
The first beating had been when he was two.
At least as far as he remembered. His father had lost their last penny and came home in a drunken rage. Severus had made the mistake of tripping and falling on the stairs in the dilapidated apartment, scraping his knee. He did as any normal two year-old would have done; he cried while screaming bloody murder.
"BOY! WHAT IN GODRIC'S NAME ARE YOU CRYING ABOUT?" Tobias advanced on him, swaying drunkenly when he heard Severus's first howls.
"I-I-I…I tr-tr-tripped….and-and I-I hurt m-my–"
"SHUT UP!" Tobias swatted a large hand at Severus's face, colliding with a sickeningly loud islap!/i "QUIT YOU'RE BLUBBERING, YOU WASTE OF SPACE!" Tobias continued on, only stopping to hit Eileen too when she tried to intervene.
And so, it began until Eileen gained enough courage to leave.
They escaped the first time when Severus was five. Tobias found them the first time when Severus had just turned seven. The second time, Severus was eight. The third time, he was ten, and they almost didn't escape. That was when his mother lost her memory capacity and gained a limp. Severus had been relatively lucky as the police had shown up in time.
But Tobias escaped.
He was out there, looking for them, and Severus knew that he would find them. No matter what, Tobias would keep finding them until either Eileen gave up or Severus died. His obsession had been set in so deep into his life, even if Tobias forgave them all, he still would keep looking until he found them. Severus was worried that Tobias would find them and that this time, he wouldn't be able to get his mother to safety. Severus already failed her once, he couldn't stand the thought of it happening again. So Severus would have to be ready. He'd have to expect it, because he knew without a shadow of a doubt, Tobias Snape would find them.
He always did.
Severus looked up into the sky; it was turning lavender from the sun's rays and the moon was fully gone.
Was the house safe now? Could Severus run in there and take a nap? Maybe he could just take a peek in the window.
No harm in that, right?
Severus gathered himself up and tip-toed up to the broken window and looked in. There, curled up on a tattered and blood soaked rug was none other than Remus J. Lupin; blood staining his face and clotting around in the nasal vicinities.
Severus gasped. "Lupin?" He questioned under his breath and then he remembered his last, unfinished, thought before beating him with a chair leg.
He remembered. It all fit clearly and easily now that he had regained most cognitive abilities from his bout of adrenalin induced reasoning, or lack thereof.
Lupin warning them. His 'sicknesses.'
The voice.
It all fit.
Lupin began to stir, and Severus's mind began whizzing around like there was no tomorrow.
He could use this to his advantage! Finally! A way to both get revenge and to get Potter's gang off his backside!
Severus gleefully crawled back through the side of the window that all the glass had broken out of and quietly sauntered up to the curled up boy, a greedy grin smeared upon his greasy, grimy, grubby face.
"Hello, Remus." Severus said silkily, his voice smoother than the finest crystal ware set known to man. To Severus, it was like his father's incarceration fell on an early Christmas; he was nearly dancing with vengeful glee.
Remus stiffened on the floor and Severus could almost smell the horror coming from the figure.
Remus swore. "How in Godric's name did you get in here?"
"The same way Potter and I jumped out last night. Through the window." Snape sneered. "Which, may I add, would not have happened had I not beaten your face in when you snapped at him."
"Oh sweet Godric….Does…does he know? Do they all know…what I….what I am?" Remus stammered.
"Nope. And neither will anyone else if you promise to keep him and your little friends away from me and Lily. I will keep them from finding out your secret, if you keep them out of my face."
"I can't control them, you git! I've tried, but they do it anyways!" Remus cried desperately, hands clawing at his scalp as if ripping all his hair out would solve the problem.
"Well, be creative or else they aren't the only ones you have to worry about discovering your….erm….your furry little problem. Understand?" Snape looked as dangerous as the inside of a python's out stretched jaws as it ekes the life from you with its suffocating grip; venom flooding his voice like the hiss of a coiled diamond back's rattle shaking.
Remus looked into the black tunnels for a while, seeing no sign of weakness and looked away as he took a deep breath.
"Fine. I will do it. But remember iSnivellus/i, I can bite right back." He finally answered.
"Good. Go on and try. I honestly don't care." Snape spoke with a much too blasé attitude for Remus's comfort. He swore that he heard a mumbled: "Death iwould/i be a way of getting rid of Potter, though," and Remus snapped his head up to look Snape in the eyes, searching again for the secret to unlocking the secretive boy. He vowed to figure the boy out if it was the last thing he did.
He only realized then that there was a hand reaching out to him; Severus had huffed loudly, breaking Remus's musing to gain his attention. Remus stared at it in confusion and Severus tapped his foot impatiently.
"You want to shake on it?" Remus said hesitantly.
Severus rolled his eyes.
"No, you idiot. I'm trying to help you up."
Remus stared at the boy, mouth opened wide in shock and distrust.
"If you don't want my help, then I'll gladly leav–" Remus grabbed the enigma's proffered arm and hoisted himself up.
"Godric, you're heavy!" Snape gasped, rubbing his shoulder.
"No, actually I'm significantly underweight, thank you very much." Remus sniffed.
"Whatever." Snape snarled and stared at Remus, who stared right back, both trying to figure the other out.
"You know, you made Potter piss his shorts." Snape smirked.
"Yeah. It was when you were jumping out the window, I think. I still smell it on you." Remus threw right back at him, but Snape paled for some reason. Remus didn't know that those particular pants were supposed to last until the holls were over. A month from that day.
"I have to go." Severus said quickly, turned, and ran away.
In that moment, Remus swore that Severus Snape was the strangest bloke he had ever set eyes upon. Of course, he was all the more curious because of it, much to Severus's despair.
iThe man in the shadows watched a group of five boys. Three of the kids surrounded the other two in a semi-circle, attention focused completely on the scene before them.
Of the boys on the outer edge, one was nervously looking about, as if to make sure they weren't caught. He was a sickly and scrawny thing, mousey hair that almost looked grayish and thin; as if he were aging prematurely. He trembled so much, that even from where the man in the shadows was, he could still see the tremors wracking throughout the frail body. It almost looked like an epileptic episode, except for the fact that no one paid him any heed and he was clearly still standing.
The one next to him was actively participating in what the inner two were doing. He had black hair that ran down slightly past his chin. He, though still young, had all the indicators of being handsome. He had strong features - but not overwhelming by any means - a sturdy physic that was unmarred by baby fat or the gangly, boney limbs most boys dealt with while growing up. He would a lady's man when he matured beyond the 'girls have cooties' phase.
The third boy was bouncing excitedly, blubber much too excessive to possibly explain away as baby fat jiggling in a, quite frankly, sickening array. It would make many a spectator want to vomit. He was obviously the doting and loyal sidekick who worshipped the ground his idols walked on, two of which were standing next to him, the other in the inner circle with the last boy.
Of the two boys in the center, one had messy and dark hair, standing on end as if it were a Porcupine's nest. He was of average height, judging by the others surrounding him, and wore round rimmed glasses clearly inspired by John Lennon. He was obviously the leader of his little 'gang,' or whatever those snots were calling it these days.
The last boy also had dark hair, but it was shoulder-length - the longest of the lot's - and looked even worse than the John Lennon Wannabe's hair. The locks were plastered against his scalp with nearly dripping grease, matting up in a further disgrace as John Lennon's Wannabe smashed him into the brick wall behind his back. His skin was a sallow yellow with hints of dirty grey and a large nose protruded unappealingly from the middle of his face, like a shark's fin popping out of the ocean, or the beak of a woodpecker poking through the bark of a tree, pecking away at the larvae inside. The boy's clothes were dingy beyond belief; they looked almost stiff with grime.
John Lennon's Wannabe spat at Greasy Hair's feet, much to the obvious amusement of Pretty Boy and the Bouncing Blubber. Mr. Epileptic Guard Boy was still looking about for anyone with enough authority to put an end to their fun. Suddenly, Epileptic Guard Boy froze and turned his attention towards John Lennon's Wannabe and Greasy Hair, waving his hands madly and twitching with a vengeance.
But the man in the shadows didn't care about any of them. He had already located his prey. So he paid little attention to them as he began scheming, though his eyes locked on Greasy Hair every now and them. Why?
Because none of them mattered except for Greasy Hair.
Greasy Hair was the very reason the man in the shadows was even there. Seeing Greasy Hair meant the search was over.
He had found them at last./i
"Mum, go away! I'm still sleeping…" Lily moaned as her mother shook her awake.
"Lily! Wake up, someone's here to see you! And do you know where I put my glasses?" Lily moaned again and her mother frowned at the lack of promising response. "Lily Evans!" Her mother shouted shrilly, despite the fact that Lily had opened her eyes.
"Fine, and no, I haven't seen your glasses. Have you checked your night stand?" Lily sat up and stretched, her eyes itched from the tears she shed last night at her revelation.
Severus…
Lily wanted to cry again. It was so awful! Of course, she was getting ahead of herself; what if everything was fine and she simply made an idiot of herself? It didn't matter. She iwould/i find out the truth, even if she lost every strand of dignity she had left – which really wasn't a whole lot…
With newfound resolve, Lily popped out of bed and manically dressed herself, freshened up in the powder room, and grabbed a scone from the table and ate it on her way to the door.
"Bye mum!" She cried, ignoring the "Come back for lunch!" her mother answered with.
Lily opened the door, and was a bit more surprised than she should've been at the sight that met her.
Severus Snape was standing on the welcome mat, which looked to be in finer condition than her friend.
He smelled like mothballs, mold, dirt, and many other unidentifiable but equally unpleasant aromas. His hair looked like five birds had fought for the rights to nest in it and his clothes like the scarf she once tied to a railroad to see what happened when the train ran it over. His bloodshot eyes contrasted with the bags - more like cargo trains - hanging beneath them. All of this was horrifying, but what the worst part was, was the bright stains sprinkling his body, concentrated in certain areas like his hands and his chest. But what was so concerning about the stains? The color.
Red.
"Sev! Oh, what in Godric's name have you done to yourself? Did that worm, Potter, do this to you? Because if he did, then I'll–"
"No, Lily. I'm fine. For once it wasn't Potter's complete fault. In fact, they won't bother us anymore. I won the bet." Severus was proud, despite the fact that he looked like Goliath got into a brawl with Sampson and lost.
"Are you sure? Is…Is that iblood/i all over you?" Lily asked, horrified.
"Yes, but not all of it is mine. Come on! Let's go to the tree so I can tell you what happened!" Severus looked almost…excited? Lily had never before seen him so carefree before.
"Alright, but let me grab some bandages and peroxide. You look like you could use a good cleaning."
"I told you, I'm ifine/i!" Severus stamped his foot in frustration.
"Yeah, and I'm Jimi Hendrix. C'mon Sev, you need those scratches cleaned out, especially if most of that isn't your own blood. Ew!" Lily scrunched up her nose.
"Whatever. Just do as you please as long as you hurry!" Severus crossed his arms and stood impatiently.
"I will!" Lily smiled and rushed inside.
"Mum! Where's the first aide kit?" Lily shouted from the kitchen, the place where it ishould/i have been.
"In the kitchen!"
"No it's not!"
"Ask your father, I'm looking for my glasses! You know I can't see a thing without them!"
"Mum! I don't have time! Sev's hurt and I need to clean out his cuts!"
"Did you check under the sink?"
"Yes! I did!"
"Check again!"
"Why? It's not like it's going to magically – Oh! Found it!"
"Where was it?"
Under the sink, of course, but Lily had already dashed out of the house and closed the door behind her before she could answer her mum's question.
"Oh Lily, what are we going to do with you?" Lily's mother shook her head. iThat girl sure is a mess/i, she thought to herself.
"Oi! Mum! I've found your glasses!" Petunia cried from the back of the house.
"Thanks, Petunia, darling! Where were they?"
"Your nightstand, like usual!" Sometimes, the things you look for the most in life are those that are the closest within your reach.
Severus and Lily were at their tree and sat down. Lily was tending to Severus's wounds with a grin that was too wide to be purely innocent.
"Sev! Shut up, quit being such a baby!" Lily dabbed the scratch on his left arm with a little more force than strictly necessary.
"I would if you'd quit pouring boiling acid on my arm and grinning like a sadistic sociopath! OWW!" Severus whined as Lily literally poured the peroxide onto the deep wound.
"Would you rather they get infected? You know what they do when that happens, right? They just hack it off with a saw! I've seen it!"
"I'm iso/i sure you have! Oww! Though I think that may be a more merciful approa– OWW! CUT IT OUT!" Severus screamed as Lily used tweezers to extract glass shards from the wound.
"Oh, you wanted me to icut it out/i? If that's what you want…" Lily dug around in the first aide kit and retrieved a pair of menacingly sharp scissors from the bottom of the box.
"DON'T YOU EVEN iTHINK/i ABOUT IT LILY EVANS!" Severus roared.
"Then sit still! Or next time I'm going to tie you to the tree!" Lily's eyes flamed in a manner that told Severus that she most certainly was inot/i lying in any way.
"Fine." Severus closed his eyes and took a big breath and handed his arm over to Lily's outstretched hands.
As she dug the tweezers into his flesh once again, he stiffened and winced.
"So, are you going to tell me what happened?" Lily asked as she tugged a shard from the cut.
"Well, don't tell anyone this because I've promised not to tell, but…" Severus trailed off and looked around as though to make sure that no one else could hear him speaking, causing his arm to tug a bit away from Lily and a shard to be removed with more force than was strictly necessary. "Youch! Careful, Evans!" Severus glared, but spoke before Lily could get in an insult. "Well, there really iis/i a monster hiding out in the Shrieking Shack."
Lily's eyes widened and her jaw dropped.
"Really? What is it? Does it have a name? Is it still–"
"Shh! No one else can know!" Severus looked around conspiratorially and held up a finger to quiet Lily.
"The monster is a…" Severus looked around again, and upon seeing no one he continued. "The monster is a…werewolf!" Lily's eyes nearly bulged out.
"No way! You're lying! It can't be!" Lily stammered looking somewhere between horrified, excited and disbelieving.
"It's true! Think about it: do you ever here anything from it on nights without full moons? If you look inside it, then you can see all the scratch marks!" Severus whispered, eyes glinting in excitement.
"Wow! It…It didn't bite you, did it?"
"No, and thank goodness, because if it had, I'd probably be somewhere in his digestive system by now." It took awhile for Lily to comprehend what precisely that meant.
"Oh! My! Gosh!" Lily's eyes were horror struck. "It tried to…eat…you? Oh!"
"Yep. It almost did too, if Potter hadn't pushed me out of its way." Lily's gasps egged him on. "Don't worry, I'm not in his debt or anything. It tried to eat him too, but I smashed its head in before it got too rough. You should've seen his face! Priceless. He just stood there, gaping at me before he had enough sense to run for his life!"
"Wicked!" Lily stared at him in awe.
"It wasn't much." Severus bragged nonchalantly.
"Then what? Do you know who he was?"
"What do you mean? He was a werewolf, isn't that enough?"
"No, I mean, do you know who he is when he's being human?" Lily stared him down in the eyes, daring him to lie.
"Yes."
"Then who? Who is he?" Lily was leaning into him, so close, he could count every eyelash fluttering over her emerald irises; he could count every freckle sprinkling her nose; count her every breath as it washed over his face. He wanted to lean in even further, to feel if her lips were as soft as they looked, but chickened out. She'd never like him the way he liked…loved…her. She'd never settle for a scrawny, greasy-haired, cowardly pauper. She was better than that.
"I can't tell you." Severus said and leaned away from her in a swift and jerky motion, breaking the intimate atmosphere like a professional diver breaks the surface tension of an Olympic pool.
"And why not?" Lily scrunched her nose the way she always did whenever she wasn't getting her way.
"Because I promised."
"Oh come on! I promise I won't tell!"
"How can I expect you to keep a promise if you refuse to respect the ones I make to others?"
"Yeah, but I'm your ibest/i friend, right? Don't I get special rights?"
"I'll give you a hint, but you have to find it out on your own."
"Fine, but I don't understand why you won't just straight out tell me!"
"Because this way, I'm not breaking a promise. Do you want a hint, or not?"
"I do! I do want a hint!"
"Alright then. This hint will narrow down your search field, got it?"
"Okay! Just tell me before I explode!"
"Okay. Here's your one and only hint: the werewolf's name has an 'r' in it."
"That's it? What the crap! The only person I know of whose name doesn't have an 'r' in it is me! Even Tuney's name has an 'r' in it!"
"It does? Where?"
"Her middle name's Marigold."
"Oh. What's yours?"
"Violet."
"Oh. Your parents like flowers?"
"Yes, and stop changing the subject! I'm going to find out who if it's the last thing I do!
"Fine."
"Fine!"
"Alright."
"Yeah! It'd better be alright, or else!"
"Else what?"
"I haven't thought that far ahead yet!" Lily huffed and Severus smirked.
Severus gave her a moment to calm down before he continued on with some other meaningless topic.
They talked for awhile until Lily remembered her revelations last night and her decision to talk to him about his father.
But how to lead into the conversation gradually? Should she wait and try to naturally break off into that direction?
i"Oh yeah, and speaking of abusive fathers…"/i Oh yeah. That would go over well.
Should she just come out with it right away?
i"Hey, Sev? Is your father abusive?"/i No, that was even worse!
Should she even include the word 'abusive' in her confrontation? No, it sounded like some sort of whack-o psychiatrist junk.
But how else could she word it?
"Hey, Lils, are you listening?" Severus asked her, breaking her train of thought.
"Oh, yeah! Of course I am!" Lily answered as she tried to remember what Severus said.
"No. You aren't. What's up with you? Usually whenever I mention the name 'Potter' you go into a rather amusing frenzy, but you haven't even insulted him at all. What's wrong?"
Lily gulped. Now was as good a time as any. "Sev, you tell me everything, right?"
"No."
"And why not?"
"Because you do not tell me every detail of your life, therefore I am entitled to my own secrets."
"I do tell you everything, though!"
"No, you do not."
"Yes I do!"
"Whatever. Next time I take a dump, I'll be sure to inform you of my activities."
"Sev! Quit being difficult!" Lily laughed. "Well, you'd tell me if something was wrong, right?" She sobered up so fast it caught Severus off guard, despite the fact that he was used to her emotional ADD.
Severus started to panic slightly. What was she getting at?
"It depends."
"Well, if there was something wrong with me, I'd tell you, you know that right?"
"I think so, where are you going with this?"
"I tell you things because I trust you, you know that right? Do you trust me?"
"Well, yes, of course I trust you, but–"
"Then why don't you tell me that something's wrong? I know that something's been bothering you since I first saw you. Please, Sev, you can tell me anything! I promise!"
"There's nothing wrong, you're just being–"
"Sev! I know there's something wrong! Just tell me!"
"There's nothing wrong!"
"Yes there is, and don't you dare lie to me again! I'm giving you the opportunity to tell me before I tell you what I think, no, what I know is the matter!"
"And what, pray tell, is that? What is iwrong/i with me?"
"I asked you first!"
"And I'm not saying anything, since you've so icleverly/i found me out!"
"Because iyou/i refused to tell ime/i!"
"Because it's none of iyour/i business!"
"I thought we were friends!"
"I thought so too!"
"Friends tell friends if their on the run from their own father!" Lily shouted, stabbing her finger into Severus's chest.
Whatever he had thought she was going to say, obviously it wasn't that, because for a moment, he froze and stared at her, jaw hitting the ground so hard it bounced, eyes bulging like a toad's as it was being squeezed violently about the middle. And then, the horror filled his eyes and Lily knew she was right.
"How the Hel–"
"I guessed. I put it all together. I'm right, aren't I Sev? Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it to come out like that! Please forgive–" Lily was stroking his arm in a motherly and comforting way, speaking quietly as if trying to pacify a child. Severus stared at her, dumbstruck, for a while longer until his defensive mechanisms returned to his shocked silent mind.
"No! No, you're wrong!" Severus protested and yanked his arm away from Lily's tender caresses.
"Sev! It's alright! I–"
"NO! YOU ARE WRONG!" Spittle flew from his mouth and he stood up. "NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Severus screamed.
"No! I'm trying to help you Sev–"
"DON'T YOU iSEV/i ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Severus roared.
"NO! I will not!"
"FINE! THEN I'M LEAVING!"
"OH NO YOU ARE NOT! GET BACK OVER HERE SEV, I'M NOT DONE TALKING TO Y–"
"Lily. Just shut up and go away. I don't want to talk about it. Please?" Severus begged quietly and looked down at the ground, shifting uncomfortably.
"No! Sev, I just want to help!"
"Well, I don't need your help. Go nose into someone else's life!" Severus growled.
"Fine! I iwill/i! Maybe Potter will appreciate me more!" Lily huffed and stomped off.
"Just leave…please…leave…" Severus mumbled, despite the fact that Lily couldn't hear him.
Severus stayed under the protective canopy of the tree for an hour, crying and berating himself in the privacy the hide away provided. He got up and wiped his face off with his grimy sleeve – it did more harm than good in all honesty – and stumbled home.
I might finish or not. We'll see. Honestly, it depends on how many like it. I also hope I did the tags correctly, if not, you get the picture. Ps: this has been sitting in my Writing file for a while, so if I do write some more, well, let's just say that some changes (nothing too drastic, hopefully) will be made. That's it. I'll shut up now.
