"Are you sure you want to see her?" Teto asked once again as they were arrived in front of the door. She held the door knob hesitantly and looked at Kaito with nervousness and worry, as if she wasn't sure that was a good idea after all. Kaito nodded, after all he was dying to see her. He didn't know what had happened to her since that day, and he wanted to know. Both of them knew, after he saw her behind the door, probably he'll suffer more guilt than he was at the moment. Teto sighed.

"It's just... brace yourself, okay? I..." Teto lost her words and her eyes began to well up with tears. So did Kaito.

Finally, Teto opened the door with one hand, and entered the room.

"Miku-chan, Kaito is here to see you, is that okay?"

Kaito stood still outside, waiting for the other girl's reply. He tried to peek but the door only opened slightly. A big hot lump suddenly appeared in his throat, he wanted to run. He was afraid he couldn't take what he'll see. But he knew he had to.

A small grunt finally was heard from the girl. "I'll bring him in, okay?" a fake cheeriness inside Teto's voice was killing him. It must be hard for her, too.

After a moment Teto opened the door again, signaled for him to enter the room. Here it is, Kaito said.

What he saw in the room, was the most heartbreaking sight he'd ever seen.

The room was clean, indeed. Teto must be had cleaned it earlier. However, there were still some crumpled tissues littered around the bed, and some bandages. When his sight fell into the main object he was intended to see, he felt like his heart had been crushed into billion pieces.

On the bed, Miku sat down quietly. Her hair was tied up into her usual pigtails, but he noticed it was chopped, leaving messy strands here and there.

Her beautiful hair, what has she done to it? He approached her quietly, still unable to look at her face directly. It seemed like she wasn't really realized that he was there either.

When he got closer, he noticed some more heart-wrenching sight. It felt like he wanted to beat up himself right there, just to make him suffer as much as she did.

Nasty looking bruises were scattered on her once pretty, porcelain skin. Red, purplish, green and some black. Trail of scratches on her feet, thigh, and arms. Some deep cuts on both hands, upper arms and jaw. Finally Kaito stared at her face.

It was empty.

Her once shining teal orbs weren't shining anymore; they looked so dead- almost turned grey. Some more bruises below her eyes- those were also bloodshot and swollen. Her lips were dry and chopped, another cut on it.

"Miku," Kaito called out. Her name felt so right on his tongue. Her name felt so right. He loved her. He loved her. He wanted to say it but he shouldn't. He'd only make things worse than how it already is.

His voice somewhat awakened her from her trance, her gaze finally shifted from the wall to him. They widened a little, as if she just realized he was there.

"Kaito? What are you doing here?"

Oh God, her voice was cracked. Her beautiful, soothing and melodic voice was gone. Now it was only a sound of cracky whispers. What have I done?

He reached out, to touch her silky teal hair. It was still as soft as how he imagined before. He knelled, to examine her face better. More tiny bruises were seen. He wished he could just took them all and suffer from them instead of her.

His hand trailed to her face, down her chin. Miku flinched a little, for he accidentally touched one of the angry-looking bruise. He wanted to cry.

"Hey, dear, what happened to you?" his words were shaking. He was in the verge of tears.

"I want to sleep," Miku stated softly.

"Okay, I'll tuck you in," Kaito managed a forced, faint smile. Miku then shifted, laid her body on the mattress. Oh God look at it. Her body was so fragile and skinny. Did she eat anything these days? It was so skinny he could see her bones. She was slim, but now she's only skeletons covered by bruised skin.

Kaito put the blanket on her, trying to block the sight of her pathetic body. After a while, Miku finally fell into a deep slumber. The deep slumber from antidepressant's sedative effect, Kaito thought bitterly.

He examined her face again. Black rings around her eyes, swollen lids, and high cheekbones. She had lost her chubby cheeks. Now she looked some years older and tired. He couldn't hold back his tears anymore. So he cried silently, beside her sleeping form.

His body shook violently as he tried to keep his sobs down. He couldn't. He couldn't leave her. He couldn't just let her be this broken. He loved her. He loved her. But he couldn't stay.

Teto entered the room again, a glass of water in hand. Her face was wet from tears, too. She crouched down, offering the glass to him. He shook his head, and his sobs were getting louder. Teto took his hand, guided him out.

Outside the door, Kaito's feet finally gave up on him, and the wave of agony washed him completely. He cried, cried like he'd never done before. He didn't care if he's a man. He just wanted to cry. On the sight of his crying form, Teto's tears started to flow out again. She put an arm around Kaito, tried to give him some comfort.

"This is why I don't want you to see her, Kaito," she whispered gently.

"What have I done to her, Teto? She's broken, she's broken and can't be repaired again. What have we done Teto?"

"Ssh, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, Kaito..." Teto hugged him, gently stroking his hair and let him crying in her embrace. "It's not your fault, okay? It's not yours, you've tried so hard, you've tried so hard..."

"If I never love her, this may won't be happening, Teto. She won't be crushed and broken," He wanted to run. He wanted to turn back the time and fix everything. He wanted to never meet Miku. He wanted to curse his damn luck and his damn feelings for her. He wanted to push Miku before she fall too deep inside this complicated matter. She was so precious, she was so precious.

"Things happened for a reason, Kaito,"

"And this happened just to crush her? The girl I love suffers before my eyes, because of me, Teto. She's dying, can't you tell?!" His voice raised even he didn't mean it. He didn't mean to be harsh but he was so mad he could kill himself.

"She is, Kaito, she is," Teto replied calmly, "But we have no choice, right? The damage has been done, and all we got to do is just staying beside her until she recovers,"

"When will she?"

"We don't know... and we can't be sure. You also don't have any other choice, do you?"

She tightened her arms around Kaito when he felt the man cried violently again. "Sssh, its okay, just let it go, don't hold back your tears,"

"I don't have, Teto. I don't..."

"Yes we know it, Kaito. Miku knows it, too. She's just dealing with this differently... she's so angry that she's hurting herself," the thought of Miku, beating herself, made Teto cry again. She couldn't believe it either. That Miku, that happy and cheerful girl she used to know, could turn into this Miku. The cold, empty and souless Miku. The Miku who's completely lost herself.

"She wanted to get rid of her heartache, and she thought the physical pain could distract her from it," Teto said quietly.

After Kaito had calmed down a little, he realized he couldn't stay any longer there. They would be searching for him and more reason for them to blame Miku again. He took a final glance towards Miku, and although it was killing him to leave her again, he had to. He just had to.

"Teto, I have to go,"

Teto nodded, she gave him a faint smile. "Thank you for visiting her today, Kaito,"

He couldn't let any other word without started crying again, so he just gave Teto a nod,

and leave.