Sleepless Nights

By Jiberty Fan

Chapter 1

Author's Notes: If I owned "Degrassi" I would've let J.T. become a recurring character and the same would've gone for Liberty. I own nothing here. Thank you to those who've read and reviewed this story as well as my other stories. This story takes place during Season 6 after J.T. and Mia start dating. Even though it's never explored in the actual show, I believe that both J.T. and Liberty would have a terrible time sleeping after their break up. This will be a two part story that has nothing to do with my other J.T. and Liberty fics. This chapter is written from J.T.'s point-of-view and the final chapter will be from Liberty's point-of-view. As a writer, I am more concerned with the quality of my writing or someone else's than I am with the length or quantity of what's being written and so my hope is that this idea will be taken into consideration when this story is being read. J.T.'s thoughts are in Italics. Thank you and best of luck to you, Ryan Cooley. You are missed. I have started a C2 for J.T. and Liberty fanfics on please feel free to check it out. Please read and review.

J.T. Yorke sighs. He can't seem to sleep and this is the third time this week..

If anyone knew that having a beautiful girlfriend like Mia wasn't enough for me, they would probably look at me like I was crazy. Isn't she everything you ever wanted, Yorke? She pays attention to you, is understanding, beautiful…and you're still not happy. She doesn't know you. You've never let her get to know J.T. Yorke, but, you have tried to push her away if she gets too close to you. Everyone including Liberty knew that hug and smile that you gave Mia today was forced and a show for the girl that you gave up. Would anyone who really cared about their girlfriend push them away or not be able to tell them about their past no matter how bad it was? You never even gave Mia a chance to make the choice of whether or not to accept your past or not.

The clock in his room was neither a friend nor foe because, J.T. stopped paying attention to time a long time ago. He felt that if he didn't pay attention and didn't slow down that things would get better, but, they hadn't. This is your senior year at Degrassi. Shouldn't this be a happy time for you? I think that someone forgot to forward me the e-mail about that. J.T. Yorke moves his pillow and changes his sleeping position but, his thoughts still remain the same and still drifted back to one person that really loved him.

Liberty Van Zandt. You blew it, you really blew it. That's the understatement of the year and now after that scene at the student council meeting everyone there knows that you blew it. We probably remind Toby of his divorced parents. J.T. sighs and tosses and turns some more. Did you really have to yell at Liberty again after the student council meeting? What was the point of that really? To hurt Liberty more? It scared J.T. to realize that he really hurt Liberty. You only hurt the ones you love right? Yeah, only it's a little more than that, because Liberty means everything to you and you're not going to be winning an Oscar for hiding that fact. What am I supposed to do now? I can't exactly say, "Liberty, I'm really sorry, please take me back." It's way too late for that. It's not like Liberty would want to take me back anyway. I wouldn't take me back if I were her.

J.T.'s bed felt so cold to him and he was desperately trying to find a warm spot to no avail. He tried to remember a time when he wasn't suffering from insomnia and when everything around him was warm and seemed to have a special twinkle.

J.T. wanted desperately to remember everything, every little detail that he carelessly blew off before. He remembered the warmth of holding Liberty's body after making love and how he just wanted to stay lying there next to her. J.T. remembered the tranquility of it all and he wished that he could have a calm night again or at least a night where he didn't lie in bed and toss and turn and wish for a time where things were simpler.

Liberty and I aren't kids anymore and there comes a point when adults can't fix everything for you. Having to wear a Halloween mask at school all time doesn't work for me. This is a lot different than being the Degrassi school mascot because, I feel that I can take the mask off and be myself again after whatever sporting event. Who the hell am I fooling? Liberty can see right through your disguise just like Toby can. You're so screwed now. I gave up everything for no apparent reason or at least not one that's really worth giving up the most precious thing in my life for. My Liberty. It scared J.T. that Liberty might never be his again, even though J.T. knew that Liberty was "The One." J.T. didn't know when he fully realized that Liberty was the love of his life. Maybe it was when they told his grandmother about their son and he told his grandmother simply, "We love each other." Or maybe it was when they told her parents about their son and Liberty left her home, her whole life as she knew it after her father didn't want him to be a part of their son's life.

J.T. wasn't a particularly religious person and felt that he was well past the days of making wishes. Nonetheless, he still had a prayer or a wish, he wasn't sure what to call it.

"If I get a second chance with Liberty, I won't blow it, I promise. Just give me, give Liberty and I one more chance to be together. Please." The cold and darkness of his bedroom did nothing but further reinforce the loneliness of his life. J.T. now fully understood it when people said that even a clown can be sad. Another sleepless night was finally over as the alarm clock that J.T. no longer had any need for started to ring.

The End Of Chapter 1. To Be Continued…