Welcome one, welcome all! This is a (late) giftfic for an incredibly dear friend, The Big Boss. I actually wanted to compose this as a Christmas present for him, but life prevented me from doing so. Here it is now, a Mirror's Edge/Metal Gear Solid adventure in full bloom!

Warning: Includes an emotional Old Snake and heavy lemony features. If you're adverse to a human-ish Snake and/or explicit, sexual scenes, please don't read this.

Disclaimer: I'm not responsible for either Metal Gear Solid or Mirror's Edge.


"I know its bad, but just hold still a little longer. I'm almost done."

She was treating a puppy, but he was unlike any other puppy out there. He was a puppy in human form, a seemingly gruff but gentle animal that couldn't handle any degree of pain. He had a great deal of years behind him, due to the intrusion of a drug on, but no one could deny his babyish characteristics. She couldn't deny the love she bore for him, and wouldn't have done so if a gun had been held to her head. The love she carried for him wasn't the love of a family member, though. It was the love of infinite nights, blossoming roses and newborn Spring.

Her love was a feverish flame, burning deeper than wildfire of time. She was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. It was never wise for a moth to crawl to a flame, but she cared nothing for the consequences. She lived for danger, lived in danger, and laughed at danger. She was an epitome of strength, and embraced all challenges without the slightest hesitation. Her name was the definition of courage. Nothing would prevent her from loving the anchor of her life, even the promise of death.

Through the wildest string of events, they were brought together. Her city was under siege, facing the threat of massive destruction. Some guy named Otacon contacted the Runner network, pleading with the network for assistance. His friend, who eventually became her shadow, was in the custody of her opposing organization. The malicious beasts used him for the most painful of experiments, giving absolutely no regard to his life. In their eyes, he was nothing more than a toy, a tool for their aspirations.

They spared absolutely no opportunity in letting him know that.

While he was in their custody, he didn't even have a name. They referred to him with a number, which brought something else to light. He was the end of a long line of experiments. Their previous experiments failed, but he was it. He was the perfect specimen, the one they needed to fulfill their goals.

Over and over again he tried to gain mercy.

All attempts failed.

Her attempt to rescue him, however, didn't. True to form, she literally burst into the Prodigy headquarters. One could have assumed she would have met instant death, but she was a one-woman army. An entire force of Prodigies fell not only to her hands and fists, but to her unmatched brilliance as well. She was a lion in human flesh, moving with unparalleled speed and valor.

Her charge was promptly placed into the care of her client, Otacon. A family reunion blossomed before her eyes, but it wasn't the least bit cheerful. She had never felt so heavy all of her life, watching the hearts of two people sink further into darkness. Her charge, the one Otacon affectionately referred to as 'Snake', hung by a thread. He was dying, drowning, lost in a void.

She tried not to feel helpless, but couldn't shake off the fear of a forlorn chick. How could she, in the presence of a withering family? The man she rescued was no different from a withering vegetable, Otacon was in tears, and the child? She shouldn't have been responsible for either one of them, far too young to handle anything but school assignments. Fortunately, the little maiden was not only comfortable with her life, but happy with everything inside of it.

Her courage was the silver lining of the storm.

Life was too hard to keep up with. One moment, she was at Snake's bedside, wondering if he'd ever open his eyes again. The next moment, she and Snake were coursing through the city's underbelly, searching for clues that would transport them to the enemy's hideout. Waiting for Snake to awaken was excruciating enough, but dealing with the next stream of events knocked the wind out of her.

Yes, life knocked the wind out of her. It knocked the wind out of the lionness' sails.

If someone asked her to relay the events of twenty four hours, she couldn't have answered. She could have said the last twenty four hours were spent flying, but she couldn't have gone any farther. Snake suffered from another round of seizures, government officials closed in on them, she shielded the fallen Snake from a wave of bullets...and Hal, good ol' Hal, was pouring out instructions.

The poor otaku was so frazzled, working as her Scout. He agreed to work as her Scout in return for her assistance, since her first Scout was killed in the line of duty. It wasn't too hard for an exchange to make, since Hal took an immediate shine to her, and absorbed new situations as a fish absorbed water. He was a little shaky on the job, but made such an adorable Scout.

Night had fallen, but with the way things were going, she couldn't tell the difference between night or day. It was just wonderful to know life was actually quiet. The Nomad was going through repairs, Hal was working alongside another set of Runners...

That was right. They were inside of an underground hideout. A handful of Runners, her new family and the love of her life were inside the hideout, concealed from the rest of the world. Sunny was cleaning up the kitchen, having completed a wonderfully refreshing meal of vegetable chowder. Hal was working on his Scout skills, pretty much running around on pins and needles, the poor dear. He had so to worry about, starting with Snake.

Snake. Snake Snake Snake.

She never stopped worrying about him either.

"Just hold still, you old fussbudget! I'm almost done!"

He couldn't have been any cuter, wincing at the onset of pain. She was trying to patch up his left arm, having completed patchwork on the rest of his body. Unfortunately, by the time she arrived at his arm, he was in no mood for treatment. Who really cared, though, when his grunts and facial expressions were so adorable? "Look, it's not my fault your arm was torn to pieces, so stop glaring at me," she said through laughter, unable to suppress a smile. Pretending to be angry never worked around Snake.

"Stop moving for a minute and you'll be as free as a bird!"

"Guess we could fly together, huh?"

Her cheeks became a pair of pink blossoms. His cheeks did as well. "You've got a knack for saying the cutest things at the weirdest times," she said, her voice soft but ablaze with affection. "We fly together all of the time, just so you know. Oh, and by the way, your arm's going to need a lot of rest. Nice to know you're skilled with both arms, and not just one."

He gave off another grunt, and put on the face of a disgruntled pig. She imagined herself throttling him to death, with hearts for eyes. "Just glad to see you're up to this," he said, eyes averted and cheeks burning. "I'm lucky to have a Runner with medical expertise."

"Yeah well, it's like that for most of us. We've got to be prepared, just in case shit happens. And you know shit happens."

"Yeah, I know. We've been through every kind of imaginable shit."

"Nice to have silence, isn't it? And to think, we'll be up and running in no time."

'I don't want to run anywhere', the puppy's eyes said. Pain exploded in his pale blue eyes. "I should stay here," he said, heart heavier than lead. "You can take the idiotic anime geek with you. The kid too. Just think I should stay here."

"That's not going to happen," the Runner said, digging through her knapsack of medical material. "You and I are a team."

The sadness on his face could have caused an epidemic of cavities. "Don't want us to be a team anymore."

"Well that's just too bad, because there isn't an 'I' in team. I'm the stronger half of this team, so I say we're sticking together."

A two minute session of coughing occured, then the puppy retaliated. "What you just doesn't make any sense!"

"Of course it does. You aren't in any condition to make decisions. I, on the other hand, can make as many decisions as I want. I have the most practice in flying solo."

"Hey! I was on my own too!"

"Yeah, but I'm not a clone with a deranged brother, an awol father and a detached mother."

Snake looked like one of Hal's anime characters. If the puppy had been inside of an anime, he would have had the cutest set of lines and teardrops for a face. "Do you have to point out everything?"

"Sure do," the Runner said, keeping her eyes on her patient's arm. Her voice was perfectly calm, pretty much nonchalant. "I love everything about you, so I've got no problem with pointing anything out. I'll point out other things, too. You're old, infected with some virus, and you've got the most adorable voice."

Snake's wrinkled face was darker than a ruby. "All right then," he snapped, snatching his arm away from the brunette. "I'll point things out about you! You're hot, gorgeous and you glide on air!"

Still as calm as ever, Faith Connors took back Snake's arm. "I love running my hands through your hair, your grunts and your bandana," she said, on the prowl for any unfinished areas. If a stranger had approached them, they would have assumed she was dying of boredom. "And people normally like compliments. You have a funny way of taking them."

"What's wrong with you?" a blushing, snarling soldier asked, watching as she completed the last round of stitches. His voice was faint, hoarse and burdened with pain. "How can you remain so calm after everything that's happened?"

"That's easy," Faith replied, putting the last of her supplies away. "I've lived with danger all of my life, and I know I've got to be strong. I've got people to look after, people to take care of."

Neither of them spoke for several moments. The brunette planted soft kisses on her patient's arm, and each kiss repeated three words. Her patient blushed at the impact of each kiss, smiling with the happiness of a revitalized bird. Their eyes met, coming from different worlds but unified through wildfire. "I...I'm not...g-g-g-good enough for you," the old soldier said, shaking his head with watery eyes. "F-F-Faith, y-y-you..."

Snake fell into another violent round of coughs. Faith's arms were about him instantly, and their eyes met once again. The love of her life, her diamond, looked so frail and thin. "You c-c-can't love me," the legendary soldier whispered, tears streaming from his eyes. "And I shouldn't love you. This j-j-just isn't right."

Into her palms his cheeks went. Her eyes, ablaze with anger, pierced his heart and soul. Her fingers cradled his falling tears, while her eyes soothed the very core of his soul. "I decide what's right for myself," she said, her dark voice scorching the night. She sent the tip of her nose to touch the tip of his nose. "I have made the decision to love you, and love you I shall."

'I love you', she whispered before drawing him into a kiss. Two pairs of lips melted into each other, as chocolate syrup melted over a sundae. The porcelain arms of a maiden slowly wrapped around the male's neck. She shut her eyes in the midst of their kiss, beaming at the sound of a small grunt.

He was hesitant about the situation at first, blushing and wrestling between options. To soften his shyness, Faith cupped her hands around his head, sending her fingers through his hair. Beaming, she nuzzled her forehead and nose against his. Smiling, he slowly wrapped his arms around her. A dash of crimson shot through his cheeks, as he realized the distance between her breasts and his chest.

There wasn't too much of a distance.

"It's okay," a gentle voice whispered into his ear, running her fingers through his hair. The voice was warm, soft, and sweeter than anything he had ever heard. "Go ahead. Touch me."

His eyes spoke of a desire to do so, but he didn't budge. He began to remove his arms from her waist, but in the end, decided to keep them there. Sensing his hesitation, Faith rubbed her nose against his with a chuckle. "It's okay," she repeated, taking him by the hand. She carried his hand underneath her black tank top. He shuddered at the movement, but she carried on. "It's all right," she said, eyes brighter than the heavens. She moved his hand onto her left breast, and chuckled once his face adopted the sheen of a blood-red orange.

"Don't be afraid. Just close your eyes and go with the flow."

Still blushing, he slowly shut his eyes. She observed his awkward movements with the warmest smile, keeping his hand on her bosom. He traced the shape of her breast, working as if he were carving some sort of monument to Heaven. She rubbed her chest and thighs against him, silently encouraging him to explore. Still unsure of himself, but gaining ground, Snake sent his free hand to cover her other breast. He gave both of them a small squeeze, and received a searing kiss in return. Beaming with a fox's mischief, she continued the kiss by sending her tongue into his mouth. His eyes widened, and he almost gagged as an offense against himself, but melted into her tongue's sweet dance. Her hands rubbed his back, and soon crept underneath his pants. "You're all mine," she whispered, shortly after she broke off the kiss. "I've got you right where I want you."

His hands spread across her back, eventually making their way to the insides of her ivory white cardigans. Growling, she rubbed her body against his, placing the emphasis of her movements on her bosom. The lionness initiated a dance he couldn't ignore, regardless of how shy he was. He returned her movements, hands making contact with the moistness of her thighs. His hands moved over the front of her thighs, in order to make full contact with her damp areas. His soft whimpers drew her closer, deeper. Her kisses became wetter, sending the sleek melody of dancing ocean waves into his mouth.

Enchanted by his new movements, she unfastened his pants. Whimpers and growls united as skin was slowly exposed, greeted by a pair of soft, hungry hands. Kisses were planted onto a neck as hands fondled a burly set of thighs, threatening to tear a certain area of the male apart. Her pants were quickly unfastened, and soon her bottom half was exposed.

Grinning, she flipped him onto his back. He gasped at the sudden movement, and the possibilities that could ensue. "Wh-wh-what are you doing?!" he gasped, eyes as wide as saucers. She giggled with the mirthful mischief of an imp.

"What does it look like, silly?"

"Faith!"

"Don't worry," the black-haired Runner said, putting forth a playful frown. "Nobody's going to walk in on us. You don't think they've heard anything?"

"It's not that! You can't-we can't do this! We've gone too far!"

"I don't think so," she said, eyes darkening but smile intact. Snake, on the other hand, looked as if he wished to explode from anxiety.

"What are you, crazy?! Think of what could happen!"

And so she thought. She thought of how she could possibly end up with FOXDIE, or his baby. She thought-

For a second.

"Faith...!"

Additional protests were transformed into heavy moans. The maiden had set about inserting his shaft into her body, still smiling.

Never before had Solid Snake felt so heavy.

Sadness, frustration, anger, regret and euphoria all broke out at once, overwhelming him. His emotions were far too much to take, far too much to hold for one human body. How could she? How could she risk losing everything, including her life, with a smile? How could she risk bearing the child of a wretched, dying old man? How could she risk infecting herself with his strain of FOXDIE?

How could she do all of that with a bright, bubbly smile?

He shut his eyes, tears overflowing. Her damp breasts rubbed against his chest. Still smiling, she made it so his shaft would be completely inside of her. He followed her movements with the awkward tension of a rookie ice skater, hands latched onto her back. The smile on her face was one of great happiness, pristine and far more radiant that any jewel. To her, the world was at peace, and nothing could bother her.

Bearing fiery red cheeks, he tightened his eyelids. Tears soaked his face as milk soaked the young maiden's thighs, penetrating her insides. Some other things were probably penetrating her insides too, and those possibilities brought him dangerously close to sobbing. How could she? How could such a beautiful young maiden throw herself away? Even if she didn't bear his child, even if she didn't catch FOXDIE, how could she? How could she be happy?

How?

How could she love him, when Meryl turned away? How could she be so patient, so kind and loving, when Meryl had dismissed him? How?

How?

Something else swept through him, quickly replacing all of the negatives.

That something else was commonly known as 'love'.

He was no longer the awkward student. Smiling through an ocean of never-ending tears, he rocked his body against his. He heard her chuckle, and beamed at the presence of a mischievous vixen.

He loved her, fell in love with her, wanted her, needed her. Madly.

His hands returned to the underbelly of her shirt, quickly making their way back to her bosom. Happy to notice his loss of nervousness, the svelte Runner gripped his back. He tightened his grip on her chest, she took several deep breaths, and-

The two of them cried out as one.

A moment passed. Carefully he slid out of her, treating her as if she had become a shard of glass. Once again appearing to be nonchalant, she wrapped her arms around his waist with a sigh. She laid her head down on his chest and shut her eyes, alarming the one she loved. "Don't you think you should put your pants back on?" he said breathlessly, his voice barely above a whisper. She looked as if she wished to stick her tongue out, but retrieved her pants-with a scowl. Back onto her body the pants went, and onto his thighs a kiss went. She appeared to be bored, but both of them knew that wasn't the least bit true.

That was just how she was.

"Don't you think you should put your pants back on, Snake?"

He gave off a little grunt. "Would like to, but you tired me out!"

Faith threw back her head with a sigh. "Oh fine. Want me to put 'em back on for you? I will, if you really want me too."

He cringed and folded himself into a ball. "Don't mess with me, babe!"

Grinning brighter than ever, she retrieved his pants and then lowered herself to ground level, peering straight into his eyes. "Don't you want me to dress you?" she asked, looming over him as a black panther. And once again, the terrified Snake looked like one of Hal's characters.

"You don't want to dress me! Get the hell away from me!"

"Honesty is the best policy, Snake," the panther purred, rubbing her body against his. "Just tell me what you want and I'll do it for you."

"Stop saying my name! Get away from meeee! Otacoooooon!"

'Otacon' answered his call, all right, but not in the way Snake expected him to. He bolted right into their little area, carrying his laptop. He looked as if he wished to evade a demon, and the demon was right on his heels. The demon happened to be another Runner, and that Runner was wearing-

Sunny's Pikachu hat.

"Leave me alone! I'll never do that! Not even in a million years!"

"Aw, come on, Hallie! Only for a little while!"

"Leave me aloooooone! Snaaaaaaaake!"

"Don't come cryin' to me! I've got my own problems!"

"Haaaaaal! I promise to be good to you! I only want it one time!"

"Snake, do something!"

"Don't look at me! You hired these nutjobs! FAITH! STOP IT!"

"Grown ups are just so playful," Sunny said to herself, smiling as she scrubbed out her last pot.

She placed the pot inside of her makeshift rack, put away her washcloth, and walked off to bed.


This was composed to a wide menagerie of things. I had to do some heavy dosage because this was a HET LEMON, so yeah. I experimented on a wide variety of love songs and video game soundtracks, ranging from Kingdom Hearts to Suikoden V.

Het. I wrote another het project. And the thing is, I actually enjoyed writing it. EW EW EW! XD And yes, the second Runner wanted a nice, naughty favor from Hal. That was my only inclusion of yaoi. As for Faith, well...Kitty was a little thirsty. I'll just leave it at that.

Yes, Faith/Snake is one of the ONLY het couples I do love. And the threat of Faith bearing Snake's baby was just too cute to resist, despite Snake's age.

Faith looming over Snake like a predator was inspired by a scene from The Fifth Element, which I believed to be man's greatest gift when it was released in theatres. XD In one scene, the character Leeloo stared at another character right in the eyes, moving and growling as a lionness would when stalking her prey.

Hal being chased by the male Runner was inspired by a Ranma 1/2 scene, when the Girl-type Ranma ran through her house, being chased by the character Shampoo. The male Runner is a character of my creation, and since his role in this oneshot was so small, I decided to leave his description up to my audience. XD Just so you know, the unnamed Runner isn't that much of an idiot. Both Faith and her co-Runner really felt the need to unwind, after so much angst from the city's troubles. That night will be the last bits of happiness for the entire group.

Thank you for reading. I'm hoping this beats the crap out of 'Testament'. In my eyes it does because it features a HET LEMON-one I actually enjoyed writing.

Excuse me while I choke on het, now. XD