This is my first 50 Shades fanfic and I wanted to see how it would go. I would really appreciate it if you'd review and let me know if it's any good. Please be kind, though; I've never written anything like this before. I don't own 50 Shades!
Show me how bad it can be…We're in here because you asked me to show you…Count Anastasia…This is what you like? Me, like this? You are one fucked up son of a bitch. … I don't think I can be everything you want me to be…You are everything I want you to be…I should let you go…I'm no good for you…I don't want to go….I've come alive since I met you… I've fallen in love with you…You can't love me, Ana…No….that's wrong…I can't make you happy…We'll never get past that, will we? I'd better go…No, don't go. Are you really trying to wound me? I'm trying to protect myself….I can't stay….I know what I want and you can't give it to me, and I can't give you what you need…Goodbye, Christian.
Every time I close my eyes it's the same nightmare over and over. I've left the only man I've ever loved. The man I gave myself to in every way. He told me I couldn't love him…that it was wrong for me to love him. I wanted so desperately to fit into his world, to be what he desired, but I know now that isn't possible. I asked him to show me how bad it could get and he didn't hold anything back. I now know for certain that it will never work between us. I love him, but he made it clear that he is only interested in a Dominant/submissive relationship and he told me if I left there would be no turning back, no second chances. We are done. Finished. I feel the tears trickling down my face, but I don't make a move to wipe them, I'm lost staring at the picture of us together at my graduation. The only physical evidence I have that we were ever together.
Suddenly the phone rings and pulls me from my daydream…or rather, nightmare. I glance at the caller id and see that it is Kate calling. Part of me doesn't want to answer in the emotional state I'm in, but the other part of me desperately wants to talk to my best friend. That side wins out, as I answer the phone.
"Kate..." That's all I manage to get out before the sobs take over.
"Oh, Ana! What happened? What did he do to you?" Oh god! I start to panic, how much can I tell her without violating the NDA? This whole situation is so fucked up.
"Kate, he did…did..didn't do anything. We just broke up. We're too….different."
"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry you're hurting. I wish I was there to cheer you up."
"It's okay, Kate. I'll be f..f..fine. How is your trip? How are things with Elliot?"
"Oh, the trip is good. Elliot is fine, but I'm worried about you."
"No, please don't worry about me. Enjoy your trip. Tell everyone hello for me, okay?"
"Oh Ana…"
"Kate, I'll be fine. Really. Please enjoy your trip and I'll see you soon, okay?"
"Please call me if you need me and I'll check on you again soon, okay?"
"I will. Thanks, Kate."
"I love you, Ana. I'll talk to you soon, okay?"
"Thanks, Kate." I hang up the phone and give into my grief, sobbing once again into my pillow, as I clutch my deflated Charlie Tango balloon to my chest and let memories of my time with Christian take over my mind. At some point, I wake up and make my way to the bathroom. I take a long, hot shower and then take three Motrin PM as I make my way back to my bedroom, letting the darkness consume me.
I wake with a start, certain that I hear voices in my apartment. I know I locked the door. Did someone break in? I look around my room in panic, trying to locate the phone or some sort of weapon, but then I realize that I recognize the voices. I quickly jump out of my bed and bolt out the door into her arms.
"Kate! Elliot! You came home!"
"Of course we did, sweetie. I couldn't have you here all alone dealing with your first taste of heartbreak. I wanted to be here for you. I always want to be here for you, Ana." She moves towards me and wraps her arms around me in a tight embrace. She pats my hair and coos in my ear and I know somehow everything will be okay.
"I'm so sorry that you both cut your vacation short to be here with me…"
"Ana, don't worry about that. Elliot had some work issues he was concerned with anyone, so it worked out just fine for us to come back. Besides, just because we're back doesn't mean the fun has to end. We're taking you out and I bet you won't remember Mr. Moneybags's name by the time night falls, now go and get ready. We're going to lunch and then doing a Seattle bar crawl."
"Kate, I'm not doing a bar crawl…"
Elliot cuts me off. "Hey little lady, we're going out to help you forget about my asshole of a little brother. No arguments. Now go and get ready, we'll wait here." His tone suggests he is not to be argued with. I go to open my mouth, but before I can utter a sound, Kate grabs my hand and whisks me towards my room, telling Elliot to make himself at home while she helps me get ready. Just as we enter my room, Elliot hollers out asking about ice cream.
"Hey Katie, is there any ice cream left?"
"Yeah babe, and the whipped cream, syrup and toppings are all in the fridge."
"Thanks, baby. I'm going to have a little snack while you girls get ready." Kate rolls her eyes and we head into my room, where she goes about laying out clothes for me. I take a quick shower to fully wake up and refresh and get dressed quickly. I decide on a quick braid for my hair and light make-up. Soon we are heading out the door and making our way to Tavern Law for brunch – and shots.
Two pitchers of bloody Mary's, an omelet, hash browns and six kamikaze shots later, Kate and I have definitely crossed over the buzz threshold and are full-on drunk, despite Elliot's insistence that we constantly drink water and eat rolls to help soak up the alcohol.
"Ana, you need to drink more water."
"Elliot, you're just like your brother, so domineering," I slur.
"Oh honey, I can show you just how different my little brother and I really are," he says with a wink. What is that supposed to mean? Before I have a chance to question him, Kate is by his side, insisting he catch up to us, and putting a double shot of some amber liquid in front of him. He quickly downs the shot and she produces a tequila shot and proceeds to lick and salt his neck before downing the shot and biting into the lime wedge. He orders another round of shots and proceeds to lick and salt Kate's chest. Suddenly I feel like a voyeur, a third wheel, and it's uncomfortable. It must be obvious as Kate quickly makes some comment to Elliot about not wanting me to feel left out. Kate whispers in his ear and I suddenly want to crawl under the table.
And then it happens. They are on either side of me and both of them start sucking and licking my neck, followed by the salt and more licking. They clank their shot glasses together and down the tequila, while I sit stunned. Before I can gather my thoughts, Elliot brings me a shot glass and tells me it's my turn. Feeling emboldened by the alcohol and their resent double assault on me, I like my lips and move toward Elliot. He's wearing a light blue v-neck tee shirt and khaki shorts and I'm somehow drawn to his chest and the hairs poking out around the v-neck. That's probably because you weren't allowed to touch his chest. I suddenly pause, as I remember my time with Christian and how badly I wanted to touch him and I feel lost. As if he can sense my change in demeanor, Elliot takes the lime wedge off the shot glass and puts it in his mouth, then pats his chest where he wants me to lick, as he holds the salt shaker in his hand. I look to Kate and she smiles and nods, letting me know it's okay.
I move toward him and he takes my head and forces me to look in his eyes. He removes the lime wedge and whispers softly.
"It's okay Ana, you can touch me. Go ahead." That's all I needed. I slowly like and salt his chest and lick again. I down the shot and he moves towards me, offering me the lime wedge in his mouth, from his mouth. I greedily grab it with my teeth, nipping his lip in the process and he groans in response. He caresses my face and then the spell is broken, as the bartender tells us he thinks we've all had enough and asks if he can call us a cab. Elliot quickly settles the bill and the three of us make it out the door and into a waiting cab. The ride back is silent and filled with tension. Sexual tension. Soon we are back at our apartment and stumbling to the door, as all of us are six sheets to the wind at this point.
As we make it into our apartment, Kate heads toward the kitchen and grabs a bottle of whipped cream vodka, three shot glasses, a can of whipped cream and a jar of cherries. Oh my! We embark on a game of flip, sip, strip or kiss, where the first player flips a coin and calls heads or tells while it is in the air, if they call it correctly they pass the coin to the right and they are safe. If they call the coin incorrectly then they must choose either sip (take a shot) strip (remove one article of clothing) or kiss (the person to their left). The only catch is that you cannot pick anything more than two times in a row.
By the time the third round is up, we've all had two shots and removed one article of clothing; luck is not on our side. Thank god I wore a cardigan over my tank. It's Kate's turn. She flips the coin and calls it. It's wrong – again. A devilish smile crosses her face. She licks her lips slowly and turns to Elliot.
"Baby, this might just be the night where one of those fantasies you told me about comes true. Hold tight..." Elliot raises his eyebrows in confusion as she raises her eyebrows and tilts her head towards me. . His face breaks out into a huge grin and he turns to me, apparently the odd woman out in the inside joke they are sharing.
"Ana, I think you'll enjoy this. I know I will." What in the world does that mean? I know I'm drunk, we all are, but what in the world is going on? Kate turns to me, places her hands in my hair and pulls me to her, her lips on mine. I try to fight it, but she pulls me tighter to her. I can feel her hardened nipples poking against her think camisole and caressing my chest. I gasp at the contact and she thrusts her tongue in my mouth.
I'm shocked, but I don't fight it and soon or tongues are twisting together. My hands make their way to her hair and she pushes me down on the rug and straddles me, never breaking our kiss. Her right hand moves down my face and caresses my cheek and neck and then she begins to knead my breast and pinch my nipple. I let out an involuntary moan and our lips part.
She starts sucking my neck and moves down to lift my tank top over my head. I sit up to make it easier for her and without thinking, pull her camisole off and take in the sight of her topless body. She is exquisite. I can't resist moving towards her and taking her nipple in my mouth. I twirl my tongue around gently nip as I caress both of her breasts, as she arches her back and continues to roll and pinch my nipples between her fingers. She moans as I continue my assault and it brings me back to reality. I instantly move away and look at her with questioning eyes.
What are we doing? Before I can fully pull away, she attacks my mouth again and like before, I am eagerly responding. Our naked breasts and hard nipples are rubbing against each other and I can feel the pool of moisture between my thighs. Suddenly, her hand slips down into by pants and she begins to rub me - down there.
It's like nothing I've ever felt before, so different from when Christian's done it, but oh so good. In that moment, I crane my neck as I hear a noise behind Kate. I pull away from our kiss and see Elliot, his shorts around his ankles, as he stands, stroking himself. That is so fucking hot and he's big, really big. We make eye contact and he smirks. He pulls off his shirt and kicks his shorts off as he makes his way towards us, completely naked. He goes to his knees behind Kate and starts to caress her breasts and tug at her nipples. I stop kissing her and just watch as Kate arches her back towards him and moans in ecstasy. He undoes her tiny shorts and helps her wiggle out of them, revealing her bare, glistening sex. Yep, I always knew Kate was a Brazilian wax girl and it's hot at hell. As his fingers make their way into her folds, I let out an involuntary moan, feeling the moisture increase in my own soaking folds.
Kate opens her eyes and looks straight in my eyes as she licks her lips and moves closer to me, she reaches behind my head and pulls my hair out of the braid so that it frames my face and my bare chest. She climbs over to me and straddles me taking my face between her hands and kissing me – hard. I'm responding with equal fervor and our tongues are dancing together. Her hands move to my breasts, my abdomen and finally to the button on my shorts. She stands and pulls me with her so she can remove them completely. In one move my shorts and soaking wet panties are on the floor and we are both gloriously naked. I open my eyes and see Elliot watching us. He's breathing hard and once again stroking his massive, rock hard erection. Suddenly, Kate pushes me to the couch and spreads my legs wide. She slips her fingers in and I groan in pleasure. She has a look of adoration on her face as she pleasures me and I can't look away. I've almost forgotten Elliot is in the room, when he moves between my legs and begins to join Kate's fingers – with his tongue. I look up and see that Kate is gasping in pleasure and I realize that he is pleasuring her with his fingers and me with his mouth. Oh fuck!
Kate soon stops her ministrations on me and begins to pleasure Elliot as he continues to tongue, suck and nibble me. My eyes lock on Kate and she moves closer to me again and then her head falls and her tongue joins Elliot's as they both assault me with their mouths. My hands are frantically twisting in both of their heads, urging them on, as they also pleasure each other. Suddenly they both stop and Kate moves to her feet. She gestures for Elliot to step back and then she gets on all fours and returns to my soaking wet core, frantically moving her tongue and nipping her teeth along my soaking folds, as she works my nipples between her fingers. She pats her ass and gestures to Elliot, who suddenly slams into her from behind. The movement causes her to bite me – hard and I let out a scream of pleasure. This urges all of us on, as my fingers entwine in her hair and she continues her assault while Elliot continues to slam into her. Elliot's hands move to my thighs and then up to my breasts. Our eyes locked on one another as he pounds into my best friend, whose attention is solely focused on my core. It's so fucking hot and suddenly I explode into a mind-blowing orgasm. Kate licks me clean, as Elliot continues to take her from behind. I drop down to my knees and kiss her with all I have as I rub her clit and she explodes into her own mind-blowing orgasm. Elliot quickly follows and we all collapse on the floor.
I feel Kate's hands caressing me and I turn to face her. We kiss again and she pulls me on top of her, my juices dripping onto her. I feel Elliot get up and he moves to the table where he grabs the whipped cream, cherries and chocolate syrup. He gently pulls me off of Kate and we are both on our backs, on the floor, at his mercy. He takes the whipped cream and squirts it around both of my breasts and tops them both with a cherry. He turns to Kate and instead of putting whipped cream on her as I expected, he offers his hand to her and pulls her from the floor as he begins to speak.
"Kate, I don't think you should get to have all of the fun today, why don't we share some…dessert." I see Kate nod and smile and soon they are on either side of me, each sucking and nibbling a breast and lapping up the whipped cream. Once my breasts are clean, they both move back and I sit up. Elliot moves away and finds the whipped cream again. He squirts it all over his cock and asks us which one of us would like a taste. Without thinking, I drop to my knees and take him in my mouth as deep as possible. He lets out a feral groan and that only spurs me on, as I move faster up and down his shaft, licking and sucking as I go. In this moment, I'm focused solely on Elliot, as I feel Kate between my legs, sucking and kicking my core, pulling me down so I am literally sitting on her face as I pleasure Elliot. This is so fucked up, but right now I don't care. I don't care about anything but what is going on in this room. I take Elliot in completely and he erupts loudly as I feel and taste his salty liquid as it makes its way down my throat. He tastes foreign…he's not…no, don't go there, Ana. Don't think about it…about him. For once, just live in the moment and enjoy this. And that is exactly what I intend to do as I find my own release in my best friend's mouth.
With Elliot and I both taken care of, I realize that it is time to take care of Kate. I move off of her and grab a napkin to wipe my juices off her face. I gently kiss her and pull her up. She looks at Elliot and grabs each of our hands and she leads us to her bedroom. She kisses Elliot, while she squeezes my hand and gently moves to the bed, never breaking their kiss. I drop to my knees and kiss my way up Kate's thighs and begin to pleasure her soaking core. She moans in pleasure as Elliot continues to kiss her and fondle her breasts. He moves down and takes her breasts into his mouth, kissing and sucking, while keeping his eyes locked on me. I can see that he has hardened again and the sight makes my core tighten. I want him. I'm sucking and licking at Kate's folds and thrusting my tongue in and out of her. I'm growing lightheaded from the combination of the alcohol and the movements, so I move my fingers to her clit and try to spur on her orgasm. It works as she explodes in my mouth. I lick her clean and move up the bed to kiss her as Elliot watches. Soon, Elliot is fingering me from behind and rubbing his hard member between my folds.
He starts suckling my neck and nibbling my ear as Kate and I continue to make out. I'm lost in sensation as he whispers softly.
"Kate, I think it's my turn with Ana." We stop kissing and she nods her agreement. She pulls away and reaches into her nightstand and passes him a condom. He takes it and places it on the bed as he straddles me. Soon he is kissing me and rubbing his hands all over my body. It's as if he's afraid I might disappear so he wants to touch every part of my body before I'm going and it feels exquisite. We are kissing as one of his hands rubs my breast and the other hand fingers me. Oh God, he's put his whole fist in there and he's rubbing against my g spot. My eyes dart open in shock. It hurts at first, but pain quickly turns to pleasure. My hips buck up and I groan in pure pleasure. He pulls away and sucks and bites my nipples, alternating so that each one gets their fair share as he continues to pleasure me in every way. I need him, I want him…NOW.
"Elliot, please. I need you. I need you inside of me. He pulls away from my breasts and pulls his hand out of me as he reaches for the condom. He quickly sheathes himself and pulls my legs up to his shoulders and slams into me. OH MY FUCKING GOD! It's so deep. It feels amazing as he slams into me. I can hear my juices squirting as he repeatedly pleasures me. My hands grab his behind and spur him on. We explode together and he lowers my legs and kisses his way to my mouth. The kiss is just a kiss. We are both detached. And this was just sex. Meaningless sex like all my friends talked about in college. He turns to kiss Kate and I can tell their kiss is different. It's deep, meaningful, but Kate's eyes are open and she's looking at me. Looking at me with…longing? Lust? I can't place it, but I briefly wonder if it will still be there in the morning, as I drift off to sleep with my two intimate partners beside me, not really worrying about what tomorrow will bring.
