Advisory: Rated T for violence and patricide.
Disclaimer: I own none of this. Much was stolen. The rest was repurposed.
"You can't win, Darth."
Obi Wan's eyes met Darth Vader's without wavering. Vader made a feint with his lightsabre.
"If you strike me down, I'll become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."
It had been a disappointing day for Darth Vader. He had spent a trying morning (if there was such a thing as time of day in outer space) trying to wring information out of Princess Leia as to the location of the rebel base; a proceeding which entailed being subjected to all her scorching sarcasm and rude insults. All day the death star's uppity officers, who somehow never took him seriously, had made a point of twitting him about his religious views. The stray starship they had captured with the tractor beam had been a piece of junk, and to top everything off, here he was fighting Obi Wan Kenobi and it was not at all as he had always imagined it.
Vader had looked forward for years to the day when he would again meet his old mentor face to face in a second epic lightsabre battle like the one they had fought on the Mustafar lava fields. Then Obi Wan had chopped him to pieces and left him for dead, but Vader swore that the next battle between them would end differently. Now here they were, face to face again, but Vader scarcely recognised his old mentor. Obi Wan Kenobi was an aged, almost decrepit, man. Vader had dreamed of fighting him as a middle-aged and vigourous jedi. It wouldn't be much of a distinction (and hardly any fun) defeating him now.
Darth Vader made a second feint and the two opponents locked lightsabres. There was a commotion in the docking bay. For a moment Obi Wan seemed distracted and Vader saw his chance...
A lovely mangled heap was what he had been expecting. Vader had for an instant contemplated chopping off all Obi Wan's limbs and enjoying his revenge before finishing the old jedi off, but he had determined at the last second to simply slice him in half, as Obi Wan had done to Darth Maul. Instead of complying with this simple plan, Obi Wan Kenobi had inexplicably vanished, denying Vader the gratification of poetic justice.
Vader prodded Obi Wan's deflated robe uneasily. His old master had always been unpredictable. He remembered Obi Wan's last words and tried to imagine just how powerful someone can be after being struck down. It was all nonsense and bluff, but Vader's uneasiness would not leave him as he turned away from the smoking jedi robe. There had been a familiar twinkle in Obi Wan's eyes that Vader did not like.
"Think hard, Qui Gon," said Obi Wan. He had joined his old mentor in force heaven and had discovered that, although both of them were more powerful than they had been as simple jedis, they were not powerful enough to do much more to Darth Vader than try to intimidate him.
Qui Gon shook his head. "The only person he ever cared about was Padme and he killed her," he said. "So apparently he didn't really care about even her."
"Then the only person he cares about is himself," said Obi Wan. "Self-preservation may be a weakness we could exploit."
"But we have no way of doing anything to him."
"There's Luke."
"True," said Quai Gon sceptically, "but Luke has much of his mother in him and I'm not sure that he can defeat Anaki-I mean Vader."
Obi Wan appeared to share his doubt. "There must be some chink in Vader's armour," he said. "Maybe a traumatic childhood experience...a deep, irrational fear...something. You knew him better than any of us-you spoke with his mother when they were still on Tatooine. Surely you discovered something."
"No," said Qui Gon. "I'm sorry, Obi Wan."
For a moment he looked grave. Then suddenly his face lit up.
"Wait! I'm wrong. There was something..."
Darth Vader stared at his stunted son, wondering why Luke had been dumb enough to hand himself over to the stormtroopers. Luke's mental capacities were not such that Vader suspected him capable of a trick...unless Obi Wan's training had at last begun to pay off.
"I feel the conflict within you," said Luke. Was it Vader's imagination, or was there a trace of a smirk in his son's expression? "Let go of your hate."
Why was Luke using the "try to bargain with me" tactic? He had already tried that one on Jabba without success; did he think it would work on a sith lord? And what would Luke have to bargain with, anyway?
It was difficult to comprehend that even Luke could think there was still good in Darth Vader.
"It is too late for me, son," Vader replied, trying to mask his confusion. Well, maybe Luke really was that naive. He needed to be gentle in breaking the truth to the kid.
Vader motioned to two guards who marched up obediently and took their places on either side of Luke. Still Luke remained disturbingly calm.
"Then my father is truly dead."
He spoke serenely but his words seemed somehow to convey a threat. Vader's uneasiness increased.
In the emperor's throne room Darth Vader attempted to remain in the background as much as possible while the interrogation proceeded. Much as he hated to admit it, even to himself, he needed some time to pull himself together. Recent events had strangely shaken him. He listened with only half an ear to the discourse between Luke and the emperor.
"By now you must know that your father can never be turned from the dark side. So will it be with you."
"You're wrong. Soon I'll be dead...and you with me."
Luke sounded so sure. Was there something Vader had missed? He searched his memory frantically but could recall no flaw in the emperor's thorough plan.
As Luke and the emperor continued to argue, Darth Vader found he had trouble concentrating on what was going on. Strange thoughts were coming back to him-memories from his past that he had thought forgotten.
"I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating...and it gets everywhere."
Why had he suddenly remembered that? Come to think of it, why had he ever said that? It was a really lame line.
"Let the executions begin."
"I have a very bad feeling about this..."
Another lame line. What was wrong with him? He must try to pay attention to what the emperor was saying.
"I was wondering if you got my message."
It was no use. Memories of Obi Wan and his own carefree youth were haunting him insistently. His thoughts continued to drift off themselves.
"I transmitted it like you said...then we decided to come and rescue you."
"Good job."
"It's over, Anakin. I have the high ground."
"You underestimate my powers."
"Don't try it."
Darth Vader closed his eyes to shut out the unpleasant memory and made another desperate attempt to bring his mind back under control. It was not Obi Wan's voice he was hearing now; it was his mother's.
"All slaves have transmitters placed in their bodies. Any attempt to escape, and..."
He froze. Every drop of blood in his body seemed for an instant as if it had been congealed. Horror! He had forgotten about his transmitter. He never had developed a scanner to locate it, and it was still inside him somewhere...ticking!
Vader glanced about apprehensively. Luke could not possibly know about this. Best to finish with the rebel fleet first and then take care of having his transmitter removed after the excitement was over. After all, it had been there for more than forty years...what was a few more hours? He still couldn't believe he had forgotten about it for all that time. Having his limbs chopped off had driven many things from his mind.
Luke and the emperor were still fiercely in debate. Vader remembered his position as apprentice and tried to help his sith master. He didn't know what point of the conversation they were at, so he made a remark at random.
"Resistance is pointless, my son."
Luke turned on him with a beatific smile. "I will not fight you, father," he said.
Luke stepped forward and hoisted Darth Vader above his head. Vader, caught off guard, was still marvelling over his puny offspring's impressive force powers as Luke strode to the edge of the bottomless shaft and hurled him in.
As Vader plummeted, the true situation began to sink in. Lando Calrysian...the Millennium Falcon...the rebel fleet...all an elaborate decoy to keep their focus off of the rebel's true plot. How had they not seen through it? He flailed his arms wildly and saw the main reactor below him and hurtling closer...
The emperor's laughter had stopped in puzzlement as Luke turned to him blandly. "I think I'll pass on that apprentice gig," said Luke, using a jedi force gesture to detonate Darth Vader's transmitter. "I have a few tricks to teach you."
The death star exploded in fragments with a searing blue flash and a sonic boom.
