Ok, this is another sad story. Lol, I will eventually get back to writing happy stories.

Dislaimer: I don not own Vampire Academy or the song Which is goodbye To you by Michelle Branch.

Of all the things I believe in
I just want to get it over with
tears from behind my eyes
but I do not cry
Counting the days that past me by

It seems like forever since he left. I can't stand it. i wnat os badly to go back to that cabin. I want to be held by him again. He is the only guy I will ever love. He was the only guy I will ever fully give myself to. It kills me that he is gone. i know he would want me to kill him, he made me promise I would. How can you kill the one you love?? How could you just forget about them? I will never know. I don't want to kill Dimitri but I know it is what he would truly want.

I've been searching
deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing
are starting to get old
Looks like I'm starting all over again
The last three years
were just pretend and I say

I don't want to say goodbye. It will hurt to much, I know I am being selfish. Everyone else is taking this O.K. They may have known you longer, they may just not care. you were a great gardian, and you deserve so much more than this. It is like you have been forgotten. How could they do this to you. You where amazing you cared for everyone so much, all you wanted to do was protect this school, and everyone in it. I am so sorry that this had to be your last. Your last fight, I remember your last smile. I remember everything, it replays over and over in my head. they say your in a better place, but I don't get it. Was I not good enough was I not a better place. I don't blame you for dying, becasue I knew if you could have stopped it you would have. I known you would rather be here with me then be with anyone else.

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything
I thought I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I look at your picture all the time and everytime it makes me cry. I didn't know that I could hurt this much. I didn't attend either of your funerals. Lissa and Christian did. they talked about how Tasha was in the first row crying her eyes out. She still thinks he was in love with her. She still thinks that she is teh only one hurting this bad. I can't stand it she throuws herself around like she is so upset. Like she is the only one who knew you. I have seen her crying everywhere. I am not sure how she has any energy to cry anymore. I ran out of tears a while ago, hers just keep coming. She glares at me when I walk by, like I am the reason you are gone. WEll, when you look at it in the big picture I am teh reason. If I would have just let Eddie go I would still ahev you. I know that is bad to think, but it is so true.

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems like I
can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes till
you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded
by the light but it's not right

I pretend you are still here beside me. I know it is stupid to do, but it helps me get through the day. I wnat you back so bad Dimitri I would do anything for you. I will kill you and I will follow you in death. Youa re the only guy who has ever touched my heart. I was the only girl you fully gave yourself to. I am not sure how you could love someone like me. You did tho, and for that I am grateful. My life is yours,as your life was mine. We will be together in death, if we can't be with each other alive. Your the one thing that has made me keep living, just knowing that somewhere out there you are. Your heart may not be beating any longer, but you are there. I pray you haven't been completely consumed by blood lust. Even if you are it will be no easier to kill you. i will come for you the day "I turn eighteen I swear. I will kill us both, your blood will be on my hands, as mine will also. I say goodbye to this life, and goodbye to everyone I have ever loved to everyone I have ever hated. Nobody matters as long as I have Dimitri.

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

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So everyone who reads all my stories knows that right now my life sucks. Well, just when I think it can't get any worse guess what my grandma died 2 dasy ago. So I am really upset we went to her funeral today, I bawled my eyes out. She took care of me since I was a baby. Now she is gone, I just don't know how to deal, so this is me basically being all depressing.