There are things I no longer wish to understand. They are love, happiness, friendship, hatred, pain, and enemies. If I could go back to the blissful days of ignorance, I would dare not try to learn.

And yet, it is these that make up life. You cannot function without them— That's what my teacher used to say. She was a brash, shameless woman. However, she did have her moments of wisdom.

She was probably the most influential in my life.

"Elluka, when you're older, you'll learn things you don't want to. However, you just need to keep going forward and never stop."

I'm sorry, but it seems like I've stopped. My body will not respond to my desire to move, to shout. My vision blurs and tinges ever so slightly before tilting as I collapse to my knees.

I love my fiance, and I consider my younger sister my friend. Being with them makes me happy.

I hate the project, and I consider the other candidates my enemies. Having my younger sister on that list brings me pain.

By meeting the man I now love, my innocent days were lost and I began to learn many things. One thing I had just begun to learn was 'life.' I know I should try to continue to live, for that child's sake.

However, it can not be helped. This is my fate, it seems.

I'm sorry, my dear, but I cannot continue. I'm growing tired already.

I now begin to learn of what death is, feeling hot tears drop onto my cheeks. Is that girl crying? I want to comfort her, but my body has become numb. My hand can be moved, though I merely place it over my stomach. I want to try and cover the wound, but my energy isn't enough.

There was so much that I wanted to do. I wanted to marry my fiance and tell him the news. I wanted to go bravely through the Project. I wanted to raise a family…

I'm sorry…

Everything is… Dying… Into black…

If we could…

Let's be reborn…