Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related material is owned by J.K. Rowling and her publishers. Cheers is owned by one of the big T.V. channels I think. And just to be on the safe side, since I am planning on adding other crossover elements eventually, if you recognize anything in this fic other than the plot than it is owned by somebody else. This is a not for profit fanfic. Please don't sue, I'm broke.
Pairings: Al/?
Rating: I'm gonna go with M just in case. There will be gratuitous violence and bad language for now. There will be some sexual situation, very later on…probably nothing explicit.
AN: I will try to avoid bashing any characters, but I will be taking any and all characters and portraying them as I think they would react in a given situation based off of their actions in canon, so basically at face value. Don't expect a happy ending for all canon or even most canon elements, in fact some of them might even end up dead...but we'll see.
"Speech"
Thought
Chapter 1
15 June 1982.
Cheers Bar, Boston.
Albert Lundy was very confused. One moment he was standing in his garage working with a hammer and chisel in order to open a decorative lockbox that he'd felt compelled to open after acquiring it off of EBay. The next thing he knew he was sitting in an old school bar half way across the country with a pint of beer in his hand and some sort of god-like being explaining how he was going to be rewarded for freeing it from its prison.
"I took a look inside your mind," said the entity who was currently taking the appearance of the twin brother he'd never wanted. "I saw some interesting things in there, such possibilities".
Thinking on that Al realized that in his current situation running should be his only thought, or at the very least be so terrified that bladder control would be an issue. Contrary to either of those two scenarios, he was feeling oddly calm about the whole thing. As the middle aged nerd absently took a sip of his beer and pondered that conundrum, the thing wearing his face got up from the booth and went over to the bar. So he took the opportunity to familiarize himself with his new surroundings and realized that the bar was strangely familiar. It took him a moment to pluck the relevant information from his sluggish memory banks, and several more to convince himself that he wasn't dreaming. I mean really, who expects to have a conversation with a R.O.B. in a fictional bar from a mediocre sit-com that went off the air more than 30 years ago. But when he pinched himself it hurt, so he wasn't dreaming…and yet this clearly wasn't a set because there were no cameras and all four walls were intact. Taking another look around, everyone was dressed in early 80s styles and there was a young Ted Danson look alike serving a drink to a young and beautiful Kiristie Alley.
When the being that had decided to take over Al's life returned to the booth, it took off its sunglasses, looked him in the eye and said, "I've ordered us some food. I normally don't need to eat but I haven't had the chance for…well let's say a very, very long time and feel like indulging. And for the sake of this conversation, since names have power and I'm not going to give you mine, not that your tiny mind could comprehend it anyway, you may refer to me as Wanderer."
Having no idea how to respond to that statement, Al chose to ignore it and instead studied the creature that was currently passing for his evil twin brother and wondered what he/she/it really looked like. Wanderer huh? The last thing I can remember before being here was opening that damn box and having some sort of black oily tentacle thing that grab hold of my head. Then agony, before I passed out and the next thing I knew I was here.Currently it wore the form of a rather non-descript white male in his mid 30s on the tall side of average and hidden under his shirt, there should be the slight beer gut typical of American men everywhere and sporting short auburn hair and rather dull blue eyes. He was neither handsome, nor ugly but rather with a face that easily got lost in a crowd and utterly forgettable.
"As I said before," carried on his evil twin, "I took a look inside your mind and saw some very interesting things. Your species has certainly grown since I last peeled back the layers of a Human brain and examined what passed for a soul with your lot."
Now that Wanderer had mentioned it, Al's head did feel as if someone was jabbing an ice-pick into both of his temples simultaneously, and there was a strange sense of incompleteness in his chest, like something was missing. It sort of felt like when he'd gotten his heart broken by Jenny Taylor back in high school, an ache that felt like it would never go away…only this was different somehow. It feels more like my heart was torn and then stitched back together rather than simply broken. "You will recover," assured the thing that had been trapped in the box, "souls and minds are easier to take apart than to put back together. And I may have had some pieces left over after fixing you up but that's always the case when you perform DIY. You'll feel better after something to eat."
Al would have to take his (or perhaps it's) word on that. He had no idea what was wrong with him but at least he felt physically well. In fact if anything he had a level of energy that he hadn't felt since childhood. His body seemed lighter as well, as if he'd lost weight and as he took a closer look at the being sitting across from him he noticed that. Checking his arms allowed Al to realize that the few scars he'd acquired in over the years had vanished and he seemed to have a bit of muscle that he didn't remember ever having before. Not to mention that he was seeing everything in crystal clear Technicolor despite not wearing his glasses.
"I made some modifications to your meat-suit," explained Wanderer, "just a few minor improvements as an experiment for the duration of our conversation. I'll probably allow you to keep them or give you something similar as part of your reward…It should makes up for the spiritual damage. Hopefully you won't end up like that Gabriel character you're a fan of and end up feeling the need to fill the emptiness by killing all the other versions of yourself. "
Searching his memory, which was an easy task as everything came to him fast and crystal clear for some reason, allowed him to remember a film starring Jet Li where a superhuman criminal runs around the multi-verse killing the alternate versions of him-self in order to become some sort of god-like being. Given the gaping hole Al felt in his very being he wondered if it could be filled by taking the life force of other versions of him-self. Feeling a little dry in the mouth at that thought, he drank down the beer and grimaced at how casually he'd just thought of committing murder. Or was it suicide?
"Reward?" He asked after a rather lengthy silence had developed between them, "I'm getting a reward?"
"Yes, I want to pay you back for freeing me," replied the being looking just like him. "I saw some fun possibilities while rummaging around your head and just improving your body is poor payment for what you have done for me even if you didn't mean to do it."
A deck of playing cards appeared and were spread out on the table between them. But instead of showing the normal suits of hearts and diamonds etc. they were instead each labeled with a picture of a figure from fantasy genre. And he recognized many of them. The Overlord of Evil. A Dungeon Keeper's Heart. A Daemon Prince from Warhammer Fantasy and a few wizards of different kinds were just a few of the images shown on the playing cards.
"I'd include a selection from the Science Fiction franchises that you love so much in the offer, but I need to keep a low profile unless I want to end up back in that box."
The puzzled look on his face at that statement made it clear that Al would like a more detailed explanation to understand, so Wanderer clarified what it meant. "A long time ago in another reality I had the misfortune to meet an entity called, well…you can't hear it, your voice box couldn't pronounce it and your mind would vaporize if you actually heard its' name so I'll just refer to it as, 'The One Between'. 'The One Between' likes to play games as when your all powerful it's far more interesting to do things using pawns than it is to do anything yourself because there's no challenge in the game if you can't lose." The whole thing sounded like something Q from Star Trek would get up to. The entity Al was sharing a booth with must be powerful on that level or greater to have transported him to what should just be a fictional setting. The thought of a being powerful enough to entrap a Q level being was terrifying. "'The One Between' and I decided to play a game. I cheated and ended up that box you freed me from. How my prison ended up on this tiny little ball of dirt in the backwater that you oh so fondly refer to as your home reality and being bought online I have no idea but its lucky for us both that it did and you did."
"If this 'Betweener guy' is so powerful then why are we lucky?" Al asked. He was rather anxious now as he didn't want to end up trapped in a box for all time, or worse, for aiding and abetting in an inter-dimensional jail break.
"'The Measurer of Balance' tends to direct its' attentions towards matters that effect entire universes so it's doubtful that 'The Scale' will concern itself with us if we stick to more primitive worlds such as this."
That particular statement didn't exactly reassure him either. The entity was mysterious and judging by its titles it wasn't something he could of think of as good or evil. It might be something totally beyond his understanding and in every plot of every book or movie he could recall, the things that couldn't be understood tended to be very dangerous. Al could only hope that the thing he'd freed was right and that anything he did would be beneath the notice of its rivals/enemies. That didn't, however, mean he would be safe as the ants he'd caught beneath his feet when walking were far beneath his notice but that didn't stop him from crushing them. Al might end up being squashed if this 'The Scale' decided to re-trap the thing he'd freed. The food then arrived and Al felt a great amount of hunger so he tucked into something that appeared to be fried meat. As they ate he decided to change the subject as Al got the feeling he didn't want to know more about this 'The Scale' thing so he asked Wanderer about something else.
"What's this reward you were speaking of earlier, before we got sidetracked?"
"According to your memories you've been playing the 'What I'd do' game all of your life. So I'm going to insert you into a fantasy setting of your choice as a character of my choice. I chose these fantasy figures because as I said earlier 'The Beholder of All' of all doesn't tend to bother with the affairs of singular worlds and you'd have to try and conquer whole galaxies to be worthy of 'The Scales' attentions."
Again he'd have to take its' word on that, but for some reason he was inclined to trust the Wanderer. "So as long as you stick to small worlds like this one and those you read about in Fantasy novels, movies and games, you'll be fine." assured the Traveller, "And there's lots of magical items out there for you to claim if you want a power boost. As for me, I'm going to go and have some fun of my own. I might try out some of the ideas I got from your head. There are an infinite number of Earths out there that could do with livening up. Maybe I'll even find some other versions of you and let them join in the fun if I can arrange it with the help of a few friends".
Upon hearing that he should have felt sorry for those worlds and the other versions of him out there but for some reason he just didn't care, although he knew he should. The parts of him that felt things like mercy and pity for others seemed to be absent. He should be feeling guilt as well, as anything that happened to those alternative versions of him-self was at least partially his fault.
"But since this is your reward I'll let you pick your knew life. I'd like to see you pick the Deadric Prince card as I can foresee a lot of fun with that but let's leave it to chance shall we?"
Since he couldn't really think of anything else to ask, and with the attitude that he might as well bite the bullet and get it over with, Al pushed his plate of food and pint of beer aside while Wanderer shuffled the pack. Then the god-like being spread the cards between them on the table but with the pictures hidden. Al would rather have known what he was picking or just backed out but he got the feeling that the only option he had available that would allow him to live was to pick a card and hope for the best. So he picked a card up and turned it over, but before he could find out what it showed Al blacked out again and woke up somewhere else.
