One day, I was listening to songs of my childhood. And then I came across "Thinking Of You" by Katy Perry, and I was inspired to write this :)
... This is probably the longest fic I've ever written. Ever. Brace yourselves.
Originally meant for Valentine's Day, but because of work, it's uploaded a few days later... Darn it.
Disclaimer: I only own the plot, nothing else!
Always Thinking of You
The cold February breeze blew on Kagome's cheek and made her shiver. Burying her head deeper into her scarf, she sighed and watched a cloud of her breath form and disappear. Looking up at the school entrance, she felt her energy drift away from her body. She didn't want to go, as usual...
She made a tiny jump when someone placed a jacket on her shoulders. Feeling the warmth of the vest, she felt relived and snuggled into it, until she smelled it. Her heart dropped into her stomach and she felt even worse when Inuyasha spoke, "Feeling cold?"
Holding back a sigh, she responded quietly, "Like every other day. I don't have the right clothing for this season, that's all."
Coming to her side, Inuyasha said, "You can borrow it, if you want." He pointed to the jacket she was wearing and grinned. "I have more at my place anyways."
She shook her head, and faked a smile, hoping that he didn't see through her act. "Nah, it's okay. I'll get my own eventually. Besides, I don't wear anything really plain like a black and white jacket."
Inuyasha narrowed his eyes playfully. "What's wrong with black and white?"
"Girls like other colors, like red, blue, pink, those kind of stuff when it comes to clothes. For me at least, that's my tastes." Again, she hoped she didn't sound too dull when she spoke.
"Kagome!" Someone called her from behind.
She silently thanked Sango for showing up, and turned around with a smile. This time, for real. "Hey! What's up?"
Sango grabbed her hand and started dragging her away from Inuyasha, almost without acknowledging him. "Come on, we're going to be late! And we're all freezing out here!"
Turning to the dog demon, she quickly said, "I'm stealing her for the period. You need to go too."
And with that, she ran off, dragging her friend along, while Kagome kept Inuyasha's jacket on her shoulders so that it wouldn't fall onto the floor. The other student's eyes were following her, for they watched the whole scene bitterly.
Kagome closed her eyes and hoped that they would all just stop staring and forget about everything that happened a month ago. Because she knew that if everyone around her forgot, she would also finally be able to forget.
Flashback
It was when Inuyasha started taking more place in her life that it all changed. She realized that a long time ago.
She had a good boyfriend before. One that she was happy with. She could be herself with him and they could talk about anything. He wasn't just good - he was the best and she would never have asked for anyone else.
But when Inuyasha arrived, she was first attracted by his dog ears. They were in the same classes very few times, but meeting in the hallway and having some moments alone have made them closer.
Then rumors started to spread. About her and Inuyasha having a secret love, or anything to that romantic side. Kagome herself began to think that she was attracted to him in some way, but her feelings were confused.
It didn't take long for word to reach her boyfriend's ears. Kagome could tell that he tried convincing himself: it was all a lie. Nothing was going on between her and Inuyasha. Kagome told him many times before anyways.
But one day, on her way home after school classes, she met Inuyasha in a store, talked to him for a while, and walked home with him. The next day, rumors were everywhere. Some people even thought they kissed.
Two days later, she and her boyfriend broke up. She forgot how many times she cried over him that week. Sango called every night to comfort her, taking her out to some places to make her feel better, but it didn't help much. Her best friend knew how much she loved him, and she couldn't find the right words to bring her spirits back up. She even missed school a few times.
Ever since then, there wasn't a day she didn't think of him. His name would suddenly pop up into her mind, and it wouldn't leave. The moments they spent together kept on replaying in her mind, and made her sink into sorrow again and again.
And suddenly, when she seemed to have started to recover, Inuyasha confessed to her. Thinking that dating him would make her forget about what's happened, she became his girlfriend. After all, she already had feelings for him, right?
End flashback
That was what she thought, but she still wasn't able to forget anything.
Instead, Inuyasha was getting clingy, and it was starting to annoy her. When she wanted to speak with Sango, he'd come up to them and interrupt their talk. He'd ask every night about how her day went, even though they've seen each other at school and through the week-end.
Even those around her were distancing themselves from her. She heard words like 'She's such a slut!' or 'Why would she even cheat on him?'. And it hurt her like a dagger in her stomach, because she knew they were true.
She regretted her decision. She regretted everything. It was because of her that she and her boyfriend broke up anyways.
"I'm sorry." Being dragged in the hallway by her best friend, Kagome tried to hide the tears welling up in her eyes. "Bankotsu..."
.-*W*-.
A teenager and his best friend were walking into their class, when a couple of girls came up to them with a smile. "Bankotsu, Jakotsu! How are you doing?"
The boy with the braided hair flashed a smile. "'Morning. We're doing great, thanks."
"Say, it's almost Valentine's day!" One of the girls peeped. "Did you buy a rose for anyone? Today's the last day!"
"Shhh!" The girl's friend hushed. "You're not supposed to talk about that! Remember? He probably won't, especially not now!"
Every year in the school, the week before Valentine's Day, people could buy roses from the school to send them to loved ones or friends. Students could buy them during the day, choose the color of the rose, and the flower would be given to that special person during classes on February 14th. The rose could even be sent with a note, for the very romantic types.
Bankotsu chuckled. Wanting to continue the fun, he replied. "Maybe I did. Maybe I will."
At this, the girls squealed. "Really? Who is it? Tell us!"
"Hey, hey, it's kept a secret for a reason, you know." He winked and laid a finger on his lips. "You'll have to see."
He walked to his seat, and Jakotsu followed. His best friend seemed utterly disgusted and snorted. "I don't understand you, Bankotsu, why get them excited over nothing? It's completely disturbing."
"You bought one for a guy," he reminded him suddenly.
"What does that have anything to do with this? I'm asking why you told them you're going to buy one. You're just going to start spreading rumors again, and honestly, I don't want that, because it's bad for both our reputations!"
Bankotsu glanced at him from the corner of his eye. "Maybe I'm not joking."
Jakotsu frowned. "What? No, that can't be right. Don't tell me you're already interested in another girl after what happened..."
"I didn't say that," he replied casually.
The gay teen seemed deep in thought. "Then... you're buying a rose for a guy?"
"That's even more unlikely!" Bankotsu exclaimed and laughed.
Jakotsu pouted. "Then I guess I give up. If you really are going to get one, then can you at least give me a hint of who it could be? Just to judge that person good or bad for you, you know?"
"Sorry, buddy," he chuckled. "Not this time."
"Psh. You're no fun." Jakotsu sat down on his seat, next to Bankotsu, when the teacher arrived and started math class.
Looking at the questions on the paper the teacher gave the students, Bankotsu frowned, but not because of the problems. Many other things were going on in his mind, such as the girl he was going to send the rose to.
.-*W*-.
After lunch, Kagome and Sango hung out in their class, waiting for the bell to ring and the lesson to start.
Putting on a smile, Kagome asked, "So do you think Miroku's going to take you out for Valentine's Day?"
Her friend seemed surprised, and she also seemed a little hurt. "What's with this subject?" She was sure she didn't want to talk about Valentine's Day, after all she's been through with Bankotsu. In fact, she even avoided the whole subject just for that.
"I just figured you wanted to talk about it," she said. "I know that you probably want to talk about it with someone, right? After all, I'm the only person who can understand what you're going through with that lecher. And I'm dying to hear about your progress with him too."
Sango was still a little suspicious, but what she said was right. She did want to gossip about it. So she let it all out. "Well... let's say he's taking me somewhere with a lot of people, but not too crowded... A restaurant I've never been to before, but that has high rating..."
"A fancy restaurant?"
"Yeah..."
"Well that is pretty romantic," Kagome smiled. "But if he doesn't do anything too special, then it would probably be a regular date, right?"
"That's what I'm thinking." Sango sighed. "But since it's Miroku, well..."
Suddenly, a group of girls passed by them, speaking loudly, "Did you hear? It looks like Bankotsu's buying a rose for someone! He said so himself!"
Those simple words caught both girls' attentions and tore Kagome apart on the inside in a second.
They continued, "No way! Who could it be for, though? Is he already interested in someone?"
Another girl said, "Probably! I mean, with what happened to him, I wouldn't be surprised if he just wanted to forget everything and find a replacement."
That was when Kagome ran out of the room. Sango called out for her friend before running after her. At the class room's door, she glared daggers at the group of girls, now snickering, hoping to at least kill one of them with her looks.
She found her sobbing in the girl's bathroom a minute later. She scowled at the remaining girls in the bathroom, threatening them to get out. The ladies scurried off, leaving the two girls to talk. Kagome locked herself in one of the stalls, and Sango could hear her crying clearly.
"Kagome?" she called softly. Knowing that she wouldn't get an answer, she pleaded, "... Come on, don't be like this... I hate seeing you like this..."
"I'm not over him, Sango," her friend replied almost immediately. "No matter how hard I try... I still have feelings for him... And I can't ever forget him... We see him in the hallways every day... and it takes everything I have to stop myself from talking to him. I miss the days we spent together laughing, having fun...
"I was so stupid to be interested in Inuyasha when I had someone like him around... And now... he's already found himself someone else... I shouldn't care at all, because we've got two different lives now... But it still hurts so much!" Her voice cracked at the end, and the sobbing doubled.
Sango should have realized it. Instead of asking her heart-broken friend what she really wanted - what her true feelings were -, she avoided the subject completely, thinking that mentioning it would only make things worse. She had an important job to do as her best friend, to listen to everything, no matter what it was, and she blew it.
"I'm so stupid for not realizing it..." Sango felt terrible, and her voice shook. "I should have known you were going through all this... And I didn't do anything... What kind of friend am I if I can't even do that much? Kagome, I'm so sorry..."
The girl in the stall stopped sobbing for a moment. "What are you talking about?" Sango could hear her wiping her tears, and could imagine her forcing a smile on the other side of the door. "You did so much for me. You stayed by my side, cheered me up... It's none of your fault if I feel like this."
"But I should have done something!" she exclaimed. She started thinking of what she could do as of then. The only way she could feel better is if she completely forgot about Bankotsu. Like making her meet another guy, one more interesting than Inuyasha, and much better than that cocky teen.
But Sango already tried that. She took her friend out sometimes, and met cute guys, but her mind probably wouldn't let go of Bankotsu if she started getting into a relationship so soon.
And then there was another way for her to get better, but it probably wouldn't...
"Unless... I make it happen some different way..."
She finally had an idea, but she wasn't sure if it would work. It wouldn't help Kagome recover over it all, but it would probably make her feel a lot better. She just hoped that her plan would not make anything worse.
.-*W*-.
"So you're really going to buy one?" Jakotsu asked after math class had finished. Remaining seated at his desk, he turned to Bankotsu. "Well, even if you aren't, you're going to disappoint a lot of your fans."
"So what if I do?" Bankotsu didn't seem to care at all. "It's not like I really want to keep them anyways. They're kind of a pain in the ass after a while, you know? Always running after me."
"Believe me, it's even more annoying for me," Jakotsu sneered. "They stick to you like super glue. Can't you just shoo them away yourself? It'd be a lot easier for both you and I."
He smiled. "But then there'd be no fun in anything, now would there? I like to play tricks on some of them. I can ask anyone to do my homework too."
For the first time, the cross-dresser grinned. "You're evil. But I guess you're right. They've still got some use." He stood up and stretched his arms out. "Let's go buy something at the cafeteria. I'm hungry."
Bankotsu chuckled. "But you don't like the food there anyways." He stood up as well after gathering his stuff. He held his bag over his shoulder and walked to the classroom door. "Sure, let's go. I'm sure they've got something interesting."
But as soon as he entered the hallway, he stopped. Sango was lying against the wall, arms crossed, and glared at him right when he got into her sight. Seeing her brought back bad memories. She seemed to have been staying there for a while, so he was waiting for her to say something first.
From behind, Jakotsu asked, "Hey, Bankotsu, why aren't you movi-"
When he saw the girl, he halted. "What are you doing here?" he demanded coldly.
People who passed by stared awkwardly at the scene, and left whispering to each other, a little worried. Those who were expecting something entertaining to break out stayed. They all knew how the relationships were. The air started growing tense and the hallway almost grew completely quiet.
Sango knew that they were all wanting a fight. The school wanted more gossip. "I won't let them have what they want." She eased her anger and kept her cool. She hoped she sounded calm when she spoke to the two boys. "I need to talk with Bankotsu."
Already, the whispers started increasing. The boy with the braided hair frowned. He didn't want any more talking about him either. One big rumor about him was enough. "What's this all about?"
"Something that doesn't concern other people," she said loudly as she gave a warning to those around them with her gaze. Most girls were insulted and wanted to retort, but they knew they'd only be searching for trouble. The crowd disappeared slowly until only the girl and two boys remained.
With almost no one left to hear their conversation, Sango went straight to the point. "We have to talk. And in private."
That night...
Kagome walked home alone. She kindly told Inuyasha that she needed her alone time, thought he did protest a little.
After greeting her mom and her little brother, she slumped into her bed as soon as she got into her room. Throwing her bag to her desk, she sighed. She shouldn't have hid from Sango when she cried. What was she thinking, ditching class like that and worrying her best friend?
"Though... I do feel a little bit better..." she thought as she stared at the ceiling. "Letting it out to Sango made me clam down. At least now that she knows about how I feel, we probably won't be doubting each other for a while."
Sitting up, she looked around her room. It was a total mess. Ever since the break up, she's been feeling terrible, to the point where she didn't even want to clean her room. Usually, it was always so tidy...
She looked at the clock hanging above her bed. 4 o'clock. A little cleaning won't use too much of her time. And she needed to do something to get Valentine's Day off her mind. "Better start now..."
She first started cleaning out her closet. As soon as she opened it, a pack of clothes fell at her feet. Sighing, she picked up the clothes, placed them all on her bed, and judged those who really needed to be cleaned. Turned out that all of them had to be washed soon.
She grabbed the whole pile, walked down the stairs, and dumped them into the laundry. When she came out, her mother stared at her oddly. "Those were your clothes? Is that all you need to wash?"
"I'm hoping," Kagome replied as she went back up.
She hung all her jackets on the clothe hangers and searched for something she could wear the next day. She didn't want to have to borrow Inuyasha's jacket again. After the clothes, she passed on to the stuff on her desk.
There were papers scattered everywhere. "I won't be surprised if I find some of my homework in here," she thought as she picked up some notes. She was surprised to find random doodles on some of her papers... "I must have been really bored..."
Then she realized that her drawing never looked anything like that.
She yelled at her brother, who probably heard her, "Sota! What did you do to my- OW!" As she quickly raised her head to scream at him, she bonked her head on the shelf above her desk.
The items on the shelf shook and fell, some landing on her head and making the pain worse. "Darn it..." She groaned when she saw everything that fell to the floor. "And that was the only clean part of my room..."
She bent down and picked up the objects one by one. A picture of her and Sango when they were young, one with her family, a decoration she made in art class, small figurines, and...
She dropped the fox figurine she was holding in her hand. With shaking fingers, she reached for the white rose lying down on her carpet. The whole thing was a white rose potted in a small plastic flower pot, so nothing broke. She held it gently in her hands, and stared at it.
It was a gift from him for her birthday. The scene played in her mind all over again.
Flashback
"Close your eyes," Bankotsu said with his hands hidden behind his back. The sneaky grin on his face was suspicious. There they were, at the amusement park, on another one of their dates. They were having the time of their life, and he suddenly comes up with this.
Kagome couldn't help but smile a little. "What are you doing?"
"Don't ask, just listen to me," he said, his grin growing wider. "And stretch your hands out to me."
"And what do you want me to do with this?" She pointed to the cat doll resting on her back. Bankotsu won it for her at one of the games. "I don't want to get him dirty."
"Lay it down here," he gestured to the bench right next to them. After she left the cat there, he insisted once more, "Now close your eyes."
Kagome giggled and did as she was told. "Fine."
She felt something cold being put into the palm of her hands. It was round, but not enough to tumble out of her hands. It was a little heavy, but she could handle it. She wanted to take a peek, but she knew he'd be upset. He really liked seeing her surprised.
When Bankotsu spoke, she could finally see. "Alright, open."
She saw his warm blue eyes, and then his beautiful smile. It was always enough to send her heart racing. He was without a doubt the hottest guy she'd ever seen, he had such a great personality, and he was practically perfect to everyone's eyes. Sometimes, she couldn't believe he was dating her.
She stared at him a little longer, and she was probably blushing, because he snickered. "Hey, I know I'm drop dead gorgeous, but I want you to look at what I got you."
And his laugh. It probably would have made her crazy. "A-Ah!" she stuttered when she realized what she was doing. To hide her embarrassment, she quickly looked down at the object that was given to her.
"Wha..."
It was a white rose. In a flower pot, more precisely. Though it wasn't a real living flower, the details were amazingly precise. The petals were perfectly placed, the leaves and thorns were just the right color. It almost looked alive. On the side of the pot, there was a small handle. But she was still so surprised with the details on the rose.
"It's beautiful..." she whispered.
Bankotsu flashed his perfect smile again. "Happy birthday."
"I..." She didn't know what to say. Too many things were going on in her mind at once. "I can't believe you got this for me... It's so..."
"Wait, the rose isn't all," he said eagerly. "Check this out."
Taking the rose out of her hands for a moment, he took the handle on the pot and turned it. After winding it up a while, a song started playing, and the petals and leaves on the rose started swaying to the music.
"A... music box?" Kagome was speachless.
"A music flower. Guess what song it's playing."
After listening to it for a while, the gentle melody finally reminded her of one of her favorite songs. "First Love..." Watching the rose dance to the song made her smile. It really did seem alive. It made her so happy she could almost start crying a little.
"I remembered what you told me the other day, you know," Bankotsu said as he gave back the gift. Kagome continued watching the flower move. "White is your favorite color on flowers, and one of the songs you listen to everyday is First Love, by Hikaru Utada." He smirked. "Decided to put the two together for your present."
Laughing a little to hide the small tears forming in her eyes, she said, "You do realize that the song describes a break up, right?"
He rolled his eyes and laid his forehead against hers. "Pshh. Like that'll ever happen to us."
She raised her eyes to meet his and laughed again, this time brushing away the tears that came up. "Haha... Yeah, you're right!"
End flashback
She stared blankly at the music flower. Her chest was hurting, but nothing was happening to her.
Her fingers were reaching for the handle on the pot. She knew it was a terrible idea. She shouldn't even touch it anymore. Why didn't she throw it away? Why was it still there, when she broke up with him weeks ago?
The music started playing. The sound was as clear as it was the first day she tried it. The familiar melody of First Love started playing. In Kagome's mind, the lyrics played along.
If only you knew every moment in time,
Nothing goes on in my heart, just like your memories.
How I want here to be with you
Once more...
You will always gonna be the one
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go...
Come into my life again,
Oh don't say no...
"You do realize that the song describes a break up, right?"
"Pshh. Like that'll ever happen to us."
The petals and leaves on the flower were moving. They swayed slowly from side to side, as if the wind was blowing them.
Suddenly, a tear dropped from her eye onto one of the rose's petals. Then another. And another.
Leaving the music flower on the floor, her heart broke bit by bit, more and more, and it was killing her. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were soaked. That night, she cried more than ever.
.-*W*-.
On Valentine's Day
Sango and Kagome were working in teams for a history project. While the two girls were working, others around them gossiped quietly.
"They're probably talking about the roses," Sango said as she scribbled on her paper. "To be very honest, I'm getting tired of all of this. I want to take a break..."
"The others started their break a long time ago," Kagome said with a smile. "And it's normal for them to get excited. It's almost time for the flowers to arrive. They start delivering before lunch, right?"
"That's what I heard," her friend replied. She looked over Kagome's shoulder and raised a brow.
"What's going on?" Kagome asked.
"Miroku's staring."
"Oh." She rolled her eyes. "He bought a rose for you, of course. He wants to see if you're impatient about getting it."
"And now he's smiling," she said in a monotone voice. "He's going to start eye flirting with me soon, I can feel it."
"Why don't you let him, then?"
"Because I don't appreciate it when he does it in class when he should be working!"
"We should be working too, you know. Just look away."
The chatter in the classroom suddenly got louder. The two girls looked outside the window leading to the hallway, and saw students holding roses walking towards their class. With the sound of people talking filling the room, the teacher tried to calm them down.
"Here they come," Sango said with a sigh. Though she seemed bored, Kagome could tell she was a little excited by the small gleam in her eye.
The students knocked on their class room door. The teacher slowly made his way to let them in, and with every step, the girls got more and more excited. After what seemed like an eternity for some, colorful roses entered the room, filling it with their bright colors. One of the delivery-students took out a paper with the names of those who would receive a rose written on it.
One by one, people's names were called out. When Sango was called, Miroku flashed her a big smile, and she looked away from him to hide her blush. Kagome couldn't help but giggle at their expressions.
Finally, her name was called. Taking a deep breath, she walked up to the student holding the roses and waited. "Here you are."
They gave her a red rose, one of the brightest she's ever seen. On it was a tag written from who it was from. Inuyasha's name was signed. She held back a sigh. Of course she expected it. He must have picked the color based on what she said about jackets the other day.
She turned around to go back to her seat, when the student said, "Wait, there's another one for you."
She looked at him with wide eyes. "Huh?" That couldn't be possible. She was pretty sure no one but her boyfriend would want to buy a rose for her.
A white rose was handed out to her. "It's anonymous."
Kagome took it gently from their hands and observed the rose. It was beautiful in every way and she was careful not to ruin it. But why would someone buy one for her? And on top of that, know what kind of color she loved on flowers? Or was it just a coincidence?
After sitting at her desk, Sango asked immediately, "You got a second one? It's not from Inuyasha, is it? Who's it from?"
"No idea," she replied. She looked at the tag attached to the flower. Indeed, it did say that it was "From: Anonymous". But it also came with a small note. The writing in the note wasn't familiar to her. It said,
"Please meet me after school in the park behind the school building."
"A secret admirer?" Sango guessed, her eyes gleaming slightly. But the excitement vanished a moment later. "But you'll have to turn him down, though... Inuyasha's going to be jealous."
"Yeah," Kagome said as she reread the note. "But I'll have to show up anyways, right? I don't want to sound disrespectful by leaving him there. And since he'd using the formal way of writing, I guess I don't even know who he is..."
"It won't take long to decline whatever offer he has to give," Sango said with a sigh. "And you probably shouldn't tell Inuyasha about this. He'll feel uncomfortable. But if he asks, don't lie."
"I know," she replied with a smile. "If I lie... I don't think I'll make anything better."
.-*W*-.
Inuyasha joined Kagome as soon as his last class was over. Knowing that he'd be disappointed if he didn't see her happy, she smiled when he appeared and held his red rose in her hands. The white flower was tucked safely in her bag.
Before getting out of school, she told Sango and Miroku to have fun on their date. On her and Inuyasha's way out, they crossed couples chatting happily, hand in hand, so in love that the yard was probably full of it.
A boy with braided hair suddenly caught her attention from the corner of her eye. He was walking hand-in-hand with another girl. He was smiling brightly, and so was she. Her heart stopped for a moment, but when she took a closer look, she realized that it was not who she thought it was. She inwardly sighed. "What's wrong with me?"
Bankotsu came back into her head again. Did he finally buy a rose for someone? Was he somewhere in the school, with a prettier, nicer girl than her? And what were they doing, if so?
She knew it was stupid of her to ask those questions, but he just wouldn't leave. Looking up at Inuyasha, who grinned at her, all she could see was blue eyes instead of amber, and black hair instead of white. "No!" she screamed to herself. "Snap out of it!"
"Do you want to go somewhere soon?" he asked as they walked.
Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
"Actually..." she thought of how she would be able to explain to him that she had other plans... Like rejecting someone's confessions after school. "I have something left to do at school, so I'm going to be staying for a while."
"Oh." She could see the disappointement in his eyes, and felt sorry for a moment. A moment. "Okay. Then I'll see you later, I guess?"
"Yeah." She faked a smile. Bankotsu was still in her head. He wasn't going anywhere. "I'll call you to tell you what time. Bye!"
"Wait, Kagome!" he called.
As soon a she turned around, Inuyasha planted a kiss on her lips. Her eyes widened in surprise. Sure, it wasn't their first kiss, but it was sudden compared to other times. But even so... She didn't feel anything.
She always hoped she could sense anything - any feeling at all - that might have stimulated her heart. But there was nothing. Though she tried putting her heart into it, their kisses were just mere skin contact.
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed...
Inuyasha pulled away, and looked away, blushing. "I... just felt like doing that."
Though she may not have held any intense feelings for him, he looked adorable, and she giggled. "Alright. I'll see you soon."
Seeing her laugh made him smile, and Kagome was glad that he wasn't leaving in a bad mood. "Bye."
The white haired boy watched her walk away. The grin he had earlier disappeared, leaving his mouth in a straight line. He noticed her attitude since her breakup with Bankotsu. And apparently, him and her dating seemed like it was making her feel worse... "Goodbye, Kagome..."
The teenage girl slowly made her way to the back of the school. She wasn't in a rush to get there. After all, it was still very early. And that one boy's face didn't seem to leave.
She tried looking at those around her, but there would always be a trace of memories that she had with Bankotsu wherever she glanced... "Why?" she asked herself. "Why can't I just forget about him for good? No matter what I do, he's always there..."
You said move on
Where do I go?
With Inuyasha next to her most of the time, it was even harder to forget. But if she ever tried to dump him, she'd be called a bigger slut around the school. Sure, the new student was cool, kind, interesting, but almost nothing compared to her feelings for Bankotsu...
I guess second best is all I will know...
When she arrived at the park, she laid her bag on the bench, took the white rose out, and sat on a swing. She looked to her right, to the swing next to her. An image of him appeared, smiling, laughing with her on the swings, looking as gorgeous as ever in the sunset...
She missed those times. When she used to have fun with him, just him. Before all the problems and worries.
Her vision started blurring, and she shook her head violently. "Don't you dare cry... Not now..."
'Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you...
Thinking of you...
What you would do if
You were the one who was spending the night...
Looking back up at the swing, she realized that the vision didn't leave. Bankotsu's lips were mouthing words that she couldn't hear, his voice was unclear and sounded like a complete stranger's. She forced to listen, but it was no use.
She looked into his blue eyes, who seemed so full of life. But they weren't looking at her. Not anymore, at least... and that killed her. The vision slowly disappeared, and she did nothing to stop it from leaving. After all, what was the use? It would just prove that she was going crazy.
Looking down at the white flower resting on her lap, she cupped it gently with her hands and gazed at it sadly as the imagined image of Bankotsu on the swing dissolved, leaving her finally alone.
Oh, I wish that I...
Was looking into your... eyes...
She heard footsteps coming from behind and turned around. It was probably that boy who gave her the rose... She hoped that she didn't look like she was about to cry. That would be just too embarrassing...
Kagome stood up from the swing and faced the man who remained in a tree's shadow. From far, he didn't seem familiar at all. She knew that he was looking at her, but she couldn't see his face.
She told herself to wait for him to get closer to talk to him. But he didn't move, and she wondered, "That's odd... If he wanted to confess to me, then wouldn't he make the first move? Unless he's really shy..."
She gave him a chance to speak, to do any action that she might be able to react to, but nothing happened. After a while, she asked, "Ummm... Excuse me? Are you the one who bought the rose for me?"
The boy flinched and turned his head away from her. "Oh, so maybe he isn't..." she thought.
When she tried to apologize for mistaking him for someone else, he stepped out of the shadows. She first saw a long dark braid flowing on his hips. Her gaze went higher, until she saw his face... and her heart stopped beating for an instant.
Bankotsu wasn't the one she was expecting to see. At all. And she did not want to meet him. Just imagining him on the swings almost made her cry. And yet, there he was, standing before her, and she couldn't tell herself to do anything.
She couldn't remember the last time she saw him like this. They have only crossed each other in the hallways, and they have never looked each other straight in the eye. With the orange light the sun offered, she could see his eyes shining clearly, and his whole figure.
Just seeing him, facing him, brought back hundreds of memories in a flash. The good times and the bad, their conversations and their laughs... She couldn't tell what he was thinking from his blank expression, and she wondered what kind of look she had on hers.
You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy with a surprise center
Blinking quickly, she forced herself to hide her surprise. Looking away, she said quietly, "Oh... You're not him. Sorry, I mistook you for someone else."
She turned, her back facing him, to get back onto the swing. However, his next words stopped her. "I don't think you're mistaken."
His voice. When had she last heard it? Though he was barely a few feet away from her, he seemed so far away...
She heard the sound of crumpling paper before he spoke, "Meeting after all classes ended, in the park behind the school. This is where and when it should be."
Kagome turned around and stared at him with wide eyes. "So he was..." Figuring out what happened was easy. Getting someone else to write that note. But finding the reason why on earth he'd call her there was a completely other thing.
"I'm here to apologize," he continued as he stuffed the paper back into his pocket. That shocked her even more. He was constantly avoiding her gaze as he explained, "Let's just say that I feel like an ass..."
Kagome tried to think of anything bad that he could have done to her since their break-up, but she didn't find any. Bankotsu continued, "Sango spoke to me the other day. About how you were doing."
"Oh no, Sango, why did you do that?" she screamed on the inside.
"Your grades were getting lower, you'd look depressed, and you'd be threaten badly at school," he went on.
"Why tell him all that, Sango?!"
"So... she kinda knocked some sense into me with all that."
"... Huh?"
"When people started calling you a slut after we broke up," he said as he continued avoiding her eyes, "I didn't say anything. And when rumors continued spreading, it got worse and worse for you."
Taking a deep breath, he went on, "Because of how popular I am in school, you suffered more than you should have. At first, I figured that you deserved it, but I guess I didn't know what was happening to you at all. In the end, I was indirectly bullying you... in a way."
And for the first time, he looked at her directly in the eyes, very serious. "You made Sango worry, you know. She was really pissed when she was talking to me."
How do I get better once I've had the best?
You said there's tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test
Kagome couldn't believe what she was hearing. It was true, she was being mistreated at school because of what happened, but she never saw it as Bankotu's fault. She always told herself that she was to blame, for looking at another guy while she had him all along...
Throwing away the lump in her throat, she said as she looked down, "I guess I should have done something to keep her calm... I hope I wasn't bothering her too much."
Another moment of silence. And then, he said, "I'm going to do something to stop the rumors. So... that'll make us even, right?"
"... Of course... yeah," she replied quietly. And before thinking, she added, "It wasn't really your fault anyways."
She finally detected a hint of surprise in his tone. "What?"
"What am I saying?" she asked herself. "This is supposed to end now! Don't say anything more!"
But her mouth continued to speak. "I'm at fault for everything that's happened. If I hadn't even looked at Inuyasha, none of this would have happened, right? I should have known that people would spread rumors about me and him, so it's my fault for not staying completely away from him..."
He kissed my lips I taste your mouth
He pulled me in I was disgusted with myself...
"Hold on, that's not true!"
Kagome was shocked to hear him suddenly so full of energy. Looking back up to his face, his eyes were burning and full of life. His hands were out of his pockets and were curled into fists. "If he hadn't shown up at all in the first place, if he would have just stayed out of it all, then no one would be suffering at all! Not you, or me-"
His lips closed in an instant when he realized what he said. In fact, he said a little too much.
She was just as surprised as he was. She didn't expect him to reply so quickly, and with those words...
'Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you...
Thinking of you...
Suddenly Kagome felt a tear roll down her cheek. Rubbing her face a little, she hoped he didn't see it. But another tear was coming and she tried to resist it. Laughing as if to lower the tension, she said with a smile, "I guess... we're just really messed up, right? We broke up, but we're not even sure whose fault it is..."
Bankotsu wasn't blind either. Besides, he knew that Kagome could cry easily. He unclenched his hand and stared at her with a hint of pity. He didn't know what to say. It wasn't his role to cheer her up, and what good would he do?
Looking at the tree he was hiding in earlier, he said slowly, "Judging by what Sango told me, I'm guessing Inuyasha really isn't helping you, is he?"
Kagome looked up at him, surprised. Why would he care? Bringing Inuyasha up was probably one of the worst things he could do, and yet... She didn't know whether to be honest or not. Because for sure, her current boyfriend was nothing compared to Bankotsu.
What you would do if
You were the one spending the night...
"He's... trying, I think," Kagome responded as she looked down and played with her hands slightly.
Bankotsu snorted. "Trying. He's even terrible at doing that."
She brought her eyes up to meet his. He continued to speak shamelessly, "If he can't even take care of his girlfriend when her spirits are down, then he doesn't even deserve one. And if he's too slow to even notice it, then he's even more pathetic than he already is."
And sharply, he spat, "I don't even know what you see in that guy."
He watched her eyes widen in shock, and he slowly took in his words. He made a big mistake by telling her that in her face. He cursed in his mind, calling himself an idiot for speaking like that. How would he ever take that back? She probably thought he was an even bigger jerk.
He had to finish the conversation before it got any worse. Yes, that was what he had to do. Turning his back to her, he said, "Whatever. Anyways, I'll try to stop all those rumors about you."
"Actually..." Her voice, so quiet, sounded dull and lifeless. "I don't know what I see in him either."
With just that, Bankotsu forgot how to move. His legs decided to stay at that one spot and listen to what she had to say next. And he knew very well that deep inside, he was desperate to get an explanation to that.
"I don't even know if making the rumors disappear will make me feel better," she continued with her bangs hiding her face. "I don't think it's ever been what I was worried about the most. The insults may have hurt... but it was nothing compared to what I felt after... you told me it was over." Her voice shook at the last word.
He turned around to look at her, and met her teary eyes. Water was dripping down her cheeks, drop by drop. And yet, she had a smile on her face. "I'm still not over you, you know?" she declared.
Before she knew it, she was spilling everything out. All the feelings she was keeping since that cruel day was coming out. "It's terrible how many memories of us come to me everyday... It hurts so much just to think of you, and you just won't leave... I don't even know why I'm holding on to you like this, even though I've been forcing myself to forget about you!"
Sobbing came along with more of her tears. Her heart hurt. She wanted to fall to the ground and cry. But she had to tell it all. Once she's started, she can't stop midway, can she? "When I'm with Inuyasha... I don't feel any happiness. Maybe some kind of affection, but I can't even give him a real smile! I miss everything we used to do... Laughing together... Playing... Talking... Going out and doing whatever we wanted.
"Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking when I decided to go with him. Because being with him isn't helping me at all, and I did such a horrible mistake by accepting his confession!"
Oh I wish that I...
Was looking into (you're)...
The best, and yes, I do regret
How I can let myself let you go...
Wiping her wet cheeks, she suddenly gave a small laugh and grinned. "You probably think I'm crazy, telling you all this, right? How great this turned out to be... But this is how I feel, and nothing can change it, apparently...
"This doesn't even concern you..." she said with another sob. "Great, now I feel really stupid. But... I guess if I try hard enough, everything will go away. I'll find my own way to gain happiness... After all, this won't be my first break up..."
Oh now, now the lesson's learned
I touched you I was burned
Oh I... think you... should know...
"Oh, damn it," Bankotsu said.
"He must be really annoyed," Kagome thought bitterly. "I really must look like a huge idiot."
But before she knew it, she heard steps coming her way, and just as she looked up, she was caught in his embrace. Her eyes widened to their maximum, and her mind wasn't sure of what was happening. Another figment of her imagination? Was she hallucinating again?
"Stupid," he said, holding her closer to him. "You can't just confess all of that at once. It might be too much for the person listening."
Kagome blinked. Her tears were blurring her view. Was it all real? Was she really in his arms, like she was all those weeks before? She buried her head in his chest. It was his scent. His chest, and his clothes. She remembered them clearly. It seemed so real. But she still couldn't believe it.
"But just now... it's okay to cry, right?"
'Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
"By the way you're breaking down now," his voice continued to speak to her softly. "You're probably not going to get better in a few years. Didn't I tell you to talk to Sango about girl problems?"
She held on tighter to his clothes. His voice sounded so close. And when he spoke... it was him. She could feel his strong arms around her body, and wished she could stay there forever.
Thinking of you...
After another minute, he gently took her chin and raised her face to his. He grinned and brushed away some of her tears with his thumb. He chuckled. "You look terrible," he teased.
"It really is him," she finally realized with his words. And looking into his blue eyes, she knew. They were looking at her with the warmth she had always seen. And his smile. His dashing smile that would make her heart race.
Trying not to chuckle herself, she said as she wiped her face with the hand that held the white rose, "You're not supposed to... say that to a girl when she's crying."
"You know you're an exception." He took the rose from her hand and put it in between them. "I didn't buy the rose just to apologize. There's a specific reason why I chose this color too."
Oh, what you would do if
You were the one who was spending the night
Kagome then smiled, and Bankotsu chuckled. "A pot, a handle, and some music would make this perfect, right?"
Looking at the rose, she could picture the present he gave her on her birthday. "It's odd," she said. "When I was cleaning my room a few days ago, I found the music flower on top of my desk."
He blinked, a little surprised. "You kept it?"
She nodded. "I would never be able to throw out something so precious. It holds a lot of memories, you know."
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
His eyes softened and gazed at her warmly, and her heart beat faster. "I'm an idiot, aren't I?" he asked suddenly. "To think that I wanted to leave you because you hung out with another guy... That's pretty stupid, huh?"
She shook her head and smiled. "It's not your fault... Like I said, I should have stayed with you to avoid trouble... besides, I get jealous when you're with other girls too."
Looking into your eyes
He smirked as he gave back the rose. "And I miss that angry face you have when you are. Quite amusing, really."
Acting mad, she pouted slightly. "Not to me." And he laughed.
Looking into your eyes
Thinking about the feeling of jealousy reminded her of the day she heard that Bankotsu was already sending a rose to someone else... "But did he really send one to another girl?"
With what he was telling her, he probably wasn't, but... He always liked playing mind games with people...
Quiet and uncertain, she asked, "You... don't like... some other girl, do you?"
His amused expression suddenly turned very serious. He frowned, and looked away, as if wanting to avoid the question. Seeing his reaction shattered her heart. "So... he does..." Knowing that she shouldn't cry this time, that it was to be expected, she held the tears.
But abruptly, he turned to face her with a wide grin and laughing gaze. He pressed his forehead against hers, just like he did on her birthday, and said brightly, "Just kidding! You should have seen the look on your face!"
Surprised, she blinked quickly and moved back slightly. Coming back to her senses, she exclaimed, "That's not funny! I was really worried there for a second!"
Chuckling, he said, "Did you honestly think I could get over you and find another girl in just a month?"
"Actually, I did," but she did not dare say it out loud. Who knew how loud he'd laugh if she did.
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
"There's only one person that I love," he whispered as he got closer to her, to the point where she could feel his hot breath on her. "And that person is standing in front of me, looking as beautiful as ever."
Before she could react, his lips were on hers.
And take me away
Shocked, she really wondered if this was just a dream. They've only talked for a few minutes, this couldn't possibly happen, right? But Kagome recognized the taste of his lips. It has been forever since she last felt them, but feeling him again brought it all back.
How she felt whenever they touched, how her mind went blank when he was so close, and how her knees would so easily buckle when he kissed her...
Oh, no more mistakes
"It's all real," she thought as she closed her eyes. "I've missed this feeling so much. I've missed him so much..." She felt like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. All the burden she has been carrying was leaving in one swoop. Everything was alright now. Just by being with him, she could feel it.
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to...
She gently rested her arms around his neck, and deepened the kiss. "Bankotsu..."
Stay...
"I'll always love you."
Stay...
Kinda late for Valentine's Day, hm? :P
First off, for "First Love", yes, I took the English version's lyrics, and not the Japanese translation. Believe me, I thought of Hikaru Utada's lyrics first, but... The English version sounded better for the story. Don't get me wrong, I love both versions :)
The idea of the rose sending at school comes from my own school, actually. Very nice and cute... for those who get roses, of course. :P
And thus, me being an amateur in romance because I've always been single, my descriptions aren't that good, but I still hope you enjoyed ^^
~FoxRain7~
