A/N SO this is my first PLL fanfiction, y'all I seriously don't know what the hell this is, it just kind of happened... So here ya go, also it has a steamy part its in italics, cause who doesn't want to be sad and turned on? Seriously like I said I don't even know with this... If you like it, if you hate it let me know and in the meantime enjoy! Playlist for inspiration included at the bottom
Ezra had said it himself. Years ago before we had ended up so deep into this. I'd even been known to repeat it back to him, when things got rocky and it felt like it was all slipping away.
"There never was a happy ending for us"
The sentence proved itself when I walked away from the bench I was sitting on with the love of my life, you're not supposed to find the love of your life at sixteen, not when you have that much living left to do. But even when you do, it's not supposed to be that hard to keep it.
"There never was a happy ending for us"
The words had never rang more true than on those days following that ill-fated trip to the cabin. Finding out about his book had torn me apart. In one of my finer moments, one of the few where I acted closer the seventeen years that I was than the twenty something I acted, trashing his apartment had felt… good. The feeling only lasted until the echoes of the last piece of glass plinked to the ground and then I'd felt more sadness than I had ever known. I knew, even then though I was no closer to admitting it, rather than just repeating the words.
"There never was a happy ending for us"
I hadn't really had to dig too deep into myself to finally understand the words Ezra had wisely stated at that funeral. The sad part is that it wasn't the missing parts of high school that did it, it wasn't even the fact that someone had tried to kill me…repeatedly, that made me realize the truth in the words. Somehow I just knew, or better I was finally ready to accept it.
"There never was a happy ending for us"
I hadn't seen him since that morning at The Brew, I was headed to Los Angeles and from there would head to Savannah. My conditional acceptance to Savannah College of Art and Design was a permanent one and I was ready. Or so I thought.
I'd gone the night before, just to say goodbye. It was fitting for the whole relationship that I'd be saying goodbye when our relationship would have been less taboo. When the world would actually accept it.
The last time I felt his hands on my skin in more than just a hug had been filled with a quiet desperation.
When our lips met, the thought "this isn't what I came here for" flashed through my mind followed by the acceptance that this is exactly what I had come for. I wanted, no I needed to feel his hands on me one last time, I needed to feel the weight of him, and smell the smell that was Ezra. I needed to lock the memories away in a safe place in my mind where nothing could touch them. We stood in the doorway of his apartment for a solid two minutes before he picked me up and turned around to the counter and placed me on it. (Make out sessions can be tough when you're so damn short!) He broke our kiss to slide his lips down to my neck and I threw my head back. But I needed desperately to see his eyes, and my hands reached out to pull his face back to mine. Holding his face in my hands with his blue eyes piercing mine,
"please"
He nodded and before I knew it, I was on his bed. He attached his lips to my shoulder where my dress didn't cover and his hands reached down to the skirt and started raising the knit material up my body as my hands worked to undo the buttons on his shirt. It seemed that my skin was on fire with every touch his fingers made and I wondered briefly if it felt the same for him. By the time he had raised my dress over my head my toes were already curling with my second orgasm. (Having an experienced guy can make all the difference) He positioned himself between my legs and as he prepared to enter me he reached for my hands and interlaced our fingers, much like he had the first time we had made this journey together. As he began to sink into me with a slow sure thrust I gasped and without meaning to the words I love you tumbled from my lips. It was then that the tears started, there was nothing I could do as the salty liquid slid down my cheeks. They didn't stop until I drifted off to sleep with his arms wrapped tightly around me with my hands clasped tightly in his. As my eyes closed I heard him quietly whisper,
"I love you too, Aria…always"
I dressed quietly while the coffee brewed knowing,
"There never was a happy ending for us"
With a final hug and a last I love you I turned and walked away. I couldn't help but think that there was no good in goodbye.
As I looked at him, disheveled and ragged I couldn't help but think that all I wanted to do was pull him into myself and soothe the raw edges, I wanted to make it better for him. I had heard about Nicole, I knew the story, but knowing it was different than seeing the affect it had had on him. And it was heart wrenching. Here I stood knowing that when I went home to Boston, I would be welcomed in Liam's arms; and he had… nothing. And even with nothing, no hope, no faith in the world he opened the door to me, he listened as I drunkenly rambled, I still don't remember everything I told him that night. But as he closed the door to the taxi (which he must have called for me as I still don't understand why there was a taxi waiting for me at 4 in the morning, we were in Rosewood after all, not New York City) the words ran through my mind like a CNN news ticker…
"There never was a happy ending for us"
I always end up crafting a playlist that inspires my writing so for your pleasure if you wish to listen while you read
A Bad Goodbye - Clint Black ft. Wynonna
Baby's Gotten Good at Goodbye - George Straight
100 Years- Five for Fighting
Airplanes - B.o.B
All By Myself - Celine Dion
All This Time - One Republic
And Still - Reba
Happy Ending - Mika
Only Teardrops - Emmelie de Forest
Let it Fall - Emmelie de Forest
Because You Loved Me - Celine Dion
Better in Time - Leona Lewis
Blown Away - Carrie Underwood
Cannonball - Lea Michelle
Without You - Rent Cast
Goodbye Love - Rent Cast
Keep Breathing - Ingrid Michaelson
Girls Chase Boys - Ingrid Michaelson
It Must Have Been Love - Roxette
Here Comes Goodbye - Rascal Flatts
