"Blair," Serena said, approaching her best friend slowly as she sat drinking her morning coffee and eating her morning fruit at the table. Blair did not look up from the phone she was gawking at. She let out a loud shriek.
"Serena! Look how beautiful her wedding gown is! Chuck did this on purpose, that bastard," Blair muttered under her breath. When Serena said nothing back, Blair glanced up at her blonde best friend, who was giving her a scolding look. "Look, I know you told me to stay off of Gossip Girl but someone told me the dress was posted up there and I just couldn't help myself, okay? You know you would do the same thing if it was Nate or Dan."
Serena nodded. "Blair, speaking of Chuck and Eva...and the wedding…Here," she handed her the red envelope she was holding behind her back. "It's an invitation to their wedding."
Blair snatched it out of Serena's hand and ripped it open, yanking out the little piece of elegant paper that read Mr. & Mrs. Bass. She swallowed hard, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach. Her heart pumped violently up into her throat, threatening to bring bile up with it. She forced it back down and took a deep breath, laying the envelope down on the table. Serena looked at her questioningly and Blair knew what she was implying - she wanted to know if Blair would be attending. "Serena, I simply can't," Blair said.
"Why not, B?" Serena asked softly. "The wedding is going to happen with or without you there. I'm sorry, Chuck is getting married. I know you still have feelings for him-"
"I do not!" Blair protested. How could she after he betrayed her by sleeping with Jenny?
"But he's happy now," Serena continued, ignoring Blair's outburst. "And he needs all of his friends there to support him. Plus, who am I going to make fun of all the hideous bridesmaid dresses with? It just wouldn't be the same without you, B."
Blair shook her head. "I'm sorry, I just don't think I can stomach it. Whether I still have feelings for him or not, which I am not saying that I do, but he's part of my past and at some point in my life, I really cared about him and for a few good years, I thought it would be he and I up there. It would just be too hard."
"I know, B. I think we all thought that," Serena agreed. She touched her best friend's shoulder, attempting to comfort her. "At least say you'll think about it, okay?"
Blair smiled and nodded as Serena left the room and went back upstairs to her own room. She looked at the piece of paper again, the little check boxes that said "Will be attending" or "Will not be attending" looming up at her, seeming to bold out on the page. She stayed where she was for a good period of time, thinking about it, just like she had promised Serena. She thought about her dance at Victrola, their first time in the limo, the first time he said he loved her, all the fancy dates and gifts and long nights of making love. She shook her head. She just couldn't. She couldn't watch him marry another woman. Not Chuck Bass. Not the one boy who had broken her heart so many times and managed to piece it back together so many times. This time, he didn't. This time, she had to do it herself. And watching him start a new life with Eva was not the way to heal a broken heart. She reached for the pen and checked the "Will not be attending box" and shoved the piece of paper back into the envelope.
She hadn't realized how much time had gone by until she heard Serena descending the steps, going to her mother's for lunch. Serena came up behind her, seeing the envelope with the paper back inside. She pulled it out just enough to see Blair's check mark. "Aww, B, no," she said sadly. "Please understand that I have to go. He's my brother-"
"I understand," Blair said. "It's fine. When does your flight leave?"
"Well, the wedding is on Saturday, so I'll probably book a last-minute flight for Thursday. Are you sure you don't want to come? You love Paris! We can do retail shopping as soon as the wedding is over and go to all your favorite restaurants, flirt with the cute waiters, just like last summer!"
"Not necessary," Blair shook her head. "Go. Have fun. I'm sure the wedding will be beautiful. Tell them congratulations for me, and I'll see you when you get back." She stood up and kissed Serena on the cheek. "I'll see you when you get back from lunch with your mom. I'm in the mood for Tiffany's and I'm going to order take-out for myself." Blair caught the look Serena was giving her and laughed. "What!? Can't a girl watch her favorite movie and eat fattening food while having a broken heart?"
Serena smiled. "Of course. See you soon!" And she got onto the elevator.
The next few days flew by for Blair in a blur. With Serena in and out of the house and constantly busy with wedding stuff, Dorota was the only one there to keep Blair distracted. She changed the channels to Blair's favorites every morning, cooked Blair's favorite meals, and was always checking up on her. By Thursday, Blair was exhausted. The closer it got to Saturday, the more the dull ache in her heart started to hurt. She cried herself to sleep every night and woke up crying still every morning. Dorota had hidden her phone and laptop so she would stay off of Gossip Girl to try and keep updates of the wedding out of her way. Yet, she still heard almost every one, as Serena would be in a phone call with one of the caterers or something and would just give Blair a sad smile and exit to a different room out of earshot.
Serena came into Blair's room just before she was about to leave for her flight. "Last chance," she said. Blair just shook her head. "Alright, I'll miss you. I'll see you in a few days. Love you, B."
Blair gave her a watery smile. "Love you too, S. Now go, you're going to miss your flight!" And off Serena went. After she was gone, Blair watched some more sappy love stories and tried to ignore the true reason she was crying. It wasn't until she went to get ready for the day on Friday that she was forced to face the truth - she saw the dress she had worn at Victrola once again. It was the reason she had been on-edge lately and crying all the time. She still loved him. And she was torn to pieces that he was marrying Eva. With that final realization hitting her, she thought for a moment. He had gotten shot because of her - he wouldn't give up the ring because he still loved her - but that was before Eva. But even after, when Eva left him for the first time, and he found his way to Blair's hotel and demanded to know if she still loved him - did that mean he still loved her then? Did he love her more than he loved Eva? What if she had said yes, she still loved him? Would this be her Paris Princess wedding instead of Eva's?
Her eyes widened. She still loved him and she wanted to be with him. She wanted him so badly it hurt. She wasn't just mourning the loss of another boy she once dated - she still loved him. But had she forgiven him for what he had done with Jenny? Yes, she could, she would. And she had to tell him! She had to let him know that she wanted to be with him, maybe he would call off the wedding, be only hers, after all this time and hurt. She began flinging things into her suitcase and called for Dorota. Dorota rushed upstairs. "What is it, Miss Blair? Where are you going?" She looked panicked.
"Tell daddy I'm coming on the private jet! I'll be staying with him in Paris. There's something I have to do."
Dorota's eyes widened. "You tell Mr. Chuck that you love him?"
Blair nodded. "Please get the message to daddy!" She threw some clothes on and flew to her helipad. The next few hours on the plane were filled with anticipation. Blair had to keep thinking positively in order to go through with what she was about to do. When she landed, she rushed into her father's house. She picked out the outfit she would wear to the wedding, where she would tell Chuck once and for all how she felt about him. Her father was surprised, but happy to see her. He seemed shocked that she was attending Chuck's wedding. She stayed up and talked for a bit, but needed her rest for the big day, so she showered and fell asleep. She jumped out of bed early in the morning to start getting ready for the big day. It almost felt like it was her own wedding day, though it was far from it.
When it was time, she hurried down to the chapel. She ran inside and asked the nearest person where the groom's room was. She rushed toward it, but stopped when she heard familiar voices. "How are you feeling?" Nate's voice asked.
"Nervous," Chuck's deep, seductive voice replied.
"Don't be nervous, man. This is going to be the best day of your life!"
"Yeah, you're right, it is," Chuck said. "I'm marrying the girl I love, who loves me just as much. I never thought I'd be able to say that. I am so happy."
Blair slumped against the wall. What was she doing here? Chuck was finally happy and she really wanted to barge in and ruin it for her? Of course he loved Eva more than he loved Blair, he was marrying her today. If he wanted Blair, he would have let Eva go and pursued her. He hadn't, so what in the world had she been thinking? Did she really think the wedding would be called off for a high school puppy love Chuck Bass had for her? How silly. The door opened and Nate stepped out. "Oh, hey, Blair!" Nate grinned at her. "I didn't expect to see you today. I'm glad you're here. I'm sure Chuck will be happy to know that, too. He was sad when he heard you weren't coming."
"He was?" Blair asked, a pinch of hope dwindling in her chest.
"Of course," Nate said. "Who doesn't want their non-judging breakfast club present at their wedding?" Blair forced a laugh and Nate smiled at her and walked off. She let out a loud breath that she didn't realize she had been holding and turned around to leave the building. She ran right into something - someone - and looked up to see, none other than Chuck Bass himself.
"Blair!" He grinned his award-winning, devilishly seductive smile at her. "You're here! I can't tell you how excited I am to see you! What made you change your mind?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Blair faked a smile. "I'm happy for you, Chuck. I'm sure Eva will look beautiful." She then turned around and spotted Serena and her mother and made her way over to them, leaving a very confused Chuck in her wake.
"B, you're here!" Serena shrieked. "I'm so happy!" She linked arms with her best friend. "You look gorgeous. How are you feeling?"
"Incredibly sad," Blair whispered. "But otherwise, okay"
Serena gave her a sympathetic smile. "It's going to be okay."
"What if I never get over Chuck?" Blair whispered back. "What if it hurts forever?"
"It won't," Serena cooed, touching her best friend's arm. "You know you don't have to be here if you don't want to."
"I can't leave now," Blair said. "Chuck's already seen me! Let's just go sit down and get this over with. I'll be taking you up on that shopping and food offer after this." Serena smiled at her and grabbed her hand as they sat down in a pew with Lilly. The ceremony began shortly after, Eva looking radiant, more beautiful than ever imaginable. The look on Chuck's face when he first saw her sent an actual pain through Blair's chest. She wasn't sure but she thought she may have even winced out loud. She would have died for him to look at her like that. Tears brimmed her eyes and she held her breath, pleading for the tears to not overflow.
Chuck's vows were up first. Of course it would probably be something undeniably sweet that wouldn't leave a dry eye in the room. "I learned a valuable lesson about love from a great friend of mine. In the face of true love, you don't just give up." His eyes scanned for Blair in the crowded room of people. Blair immediately recognized this from his speech at his father's wedding. That stung just a little bit. "I want you to know, that I will never ever give up. I've been hurt a lot in the past and I've hurt a lot of people in the past," again, his eyes found Blair. "I vow to you to become a new man, one who is worthy of your love, one who will never hurt you, so long as you will do the same for me. I vow to always tell you how beautiful you are, remind you how much I love you, hold you when you cry, and make you laugh when you're at your lowest. 'The worst thing you've ever done, the darkest thought you've ever had, I will stand by you through anything.'" Chuck quoted Blair once again. "I love you, Blair-"
Gasps filled the room, immediately followed by whispers and murmurs of confused and upset people. Blair's eyes widened as she allowed his words to sink in. I love you, Blair? BLAIR? Not EVA? Blair looked at Serena in disbelief, who was already staring at her, along with the rest of the room. The look on Eva's face was absolutely gut-wrenching and Blair's cheeks turned a dark crimson color. Eva slapped Chuck hard across the face, the blow echoing around the silent room, and she stormed off down the aisle. Chuck stood shocked only for a moment as Blair jumped up and left the sanctuary, Chuck hot on her heels.
"What the hell was that!?" Blair demanded, as soon as they were alone.
"I-I don't know," Chuck ran his hand through his hair. "I honestly don't know what happened."
"That poor girl!" Blair yelled. "She must feel terrible. I hate to admit this, but Eva is a really great girl. She must feel...the way I felt when...well, when you slept with Jenny…" Chuck gave her a petrified look. "Maybe she feels even worse than I did. This is her wedding day, the most important day in a girl's life and you just embarrassed her in front of all of her friends and family!"
"And mine!" Chuck said. "How do you think I feel!? She's never going to forgive me."
As if on cue, Eva walked around the corner and up to the two of them. "I always knew there was still something going on between the two of you," Eva said. "I would expect this from Blair but Chuck, why would you propose if you were still in love with Blair?"
Chuck shook his head. "I'm not. It was just a slip of the tongue, honestly. It was a mistake! I just saw her in the crowd and it slipped out. It didn't mean a damn thing, Eva, I swear!" That hit Blair like a brick to the face. Her stomach dropped and she thought she might vomit right there. Of course, deep down, she had been hoping it meant something. She took a few steps back, keeping quiet.
"Are you kidding me?" Eva said. "A slip of the tongue? Chuck, I may be naive but I am not stupid. Do not set me up to be a fool. I see the way you look at her. You've never looked at me that way. I hear it in the way you talk to her, like she's so delicate and fragile. If you really love Blair, why are you wasting your time with me?" She asked him sincerely, searching his eyes for answers. "Exactly. That's why you can't answer. I will be going into the sanctuary, announcing the wedding is off, but that they are all still welcome to stay to eat, as I won't let this all go to waste, and you and Blair will be leaving, and I will be attending the honeymoon by myself. It will do me good."
"Eva, I love you," Chuck tried, touching her cheek.
"And I love you," Eva said. "But I'm not prepared to settle." She gently kissed his cheek and turned on her heel, walking back toward the sanctuary, her silhouette disappearing slowly.
Chuck turned to face Blair. "This is entirely your fault," he spat.
"My fault!?" Blair demanded back. "How is it my fault that you said my name at the alter? I'm sorry that you're still in love with me, Chuck, but are way too deep in your denial to see it."
"Love you?" Chuck scoffed. "You've only ever been out to hurt me, how could I love you after you tried to make the one woman I love leave me? And now she has. I don't know if I can ever forgive you for this, Blair. Not this one. It was all just petty games before but now this is my future we're talking about. This was supposed to be the best day of my life and you've successfully turned it into the most miserable. Are you satisfied now, Blair?" The look on his face could have killed her, actually taken the life out of her body, the breath out of her lungs, the words off of her lips.
"No," Blair whispered, softly, tears stinging at her eyes. She couldn't listen to this anymore - she didn't have to. "If I had really thought Eva was what made you happy, I would have left it alone. I just wanted to protect you, to make sure she didn't hurt you the way I have in the past. Now I see that she really was what made you happy and I'm sorry. I thought you and I were meant to be, that we were inevitable. But now I see that we aren't. I'm sorry, Chuck, I really am. All I ever wanted way to see you happy." And with those final words, she turned away from him, hopefully for the last time. She spotted Serena, who was walking to her best friend's aid.
"What happened, B?" Serena asked, enveloping her into a hug.
"I don't wanna talk about it," Blair said, taking a deep breath. "Let's just get out of here." They linked arms and left the church together. "Food?" Blair managed to say. Serena nodded and led the way to Blair's favorite restaurant, which was only a short walk from the church. When they were seated, Blair heard a familiar voice. She turned around to see Louis, the man she had met and went on a few dates with the last time she was in Paris. He was accompanied by his driver, the man who was actually Serena's date the last time they were here. Her face lit up, happy to see a familiar face. "Louis!"
Louis looked around for the source of his name. "Blair! How are you?" He stood up from his table and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "What are you doing here?"
"We were just at an old friend's wedding," Blair replied, smiling at him.
"Do you care if we join you?" Louis asked. When the girls shook their heads, he found the nearest waiter and asked them to join the tables together. "How was the wedding, ladies?" He asked.
Serena and Blair both looked at each other and busted out laughing. They laughed maniacally, so hard they were crying and their stomachs hurt. It felt so good to laugh, to relieve herself of the pain she had just undergone. When Blair realized Louis and his driver were looking at them questioningly, she wiped her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. "Sorry," she said. "The wedding didn't work out as planned. The groom said the wrong name at the alter."
Louis and his driver laughed, too.
"It was terrible," Serena giggled.
They had a good rest of their lunch, talking and laughing and catching up. Louis covered the bill and asked the girls if they would like to attend dinner and a horse-drawn carriage ride around the park later. The girls quickly agreed and they set off on separate ways, Blair and Serena rushing to shop to find something to wear. When Blair finally returned to her father's home after a long day of shopping, the he told Blair that there was someone waiting upstairs in her room for her. Blair was extremely curious. "I wonder why Louis is here so soon," she said to herself, as they stepped off of the elevator.
When she opened the door, she saw not Louis, but Chuck slumped against a wall. "What are you doing here, Chuck?" Blair asked. "Haven't you said enough mean things? I'm exhausted and your point has been taken in."
"That's not why I'm here," Chuck said.
"Then why-"
"You were right," Chuck interrupted her. "Blair, my whole body hurts. It slows my whole being down. I thought it was because of Eva but we tried to patch things up back at the church. But she was talking crazy, asking me to do all of these things."
Blair sighed. "Chuck, if you love Eva, you should have just done whatever it was that she wanted you to do."
"Blair, you don't understand," Chuck said, frustration evident in his voice. "She said she might be able to forgive me but that I would have to cut you out of my life completely. She said she would give me another chance if I never spoke to you again."
"Oh," Blair whispered, her stomach dropping. "Is that what you're here to tell me? That you're back with Eva and can never speak to me again?"
Chuck looked up at her, locking eyes with her. He moved toward her in one swift motion, extending his hand to meet her cheek. Her cupped her cheek in his hand, her skin warm and soft underneath him. "Of course not, Blair," Chuck whispered, his voice coming out rough as always. "I'm here to tell you that I'm in love with you. And I know you're still in love with me. You don't even have to say it. Marrying Eva was going to be the biggest mistake of my life because I still would have wished for you. I just thought I couldn't have you anymore, after everything that happened, I thought you would never forgive me and that we would never have another chance together. So I settled for the next best thing. I knew Eva was a lovely girl and that she would take care of me, treat me nice, be kind to me, be a good wife. But I didn't love Eva the way I love you. Nothing could measure up to what we have, Blair."
"What are you saying?" Blair asked.
"I'm saying, I want to be with you. Please, give me another chance. I know what I did with Jenny was a terrible thing and I am so sorry. But I promise I'm going to make it up to you and I will never stop making it up to you. You are a princess, absolute royalty in my eyes, and I will treat you as no less."
There was a knock downstairs and after a moment, Blair's father called up to her that Louis had arrived. Blair's eyes widened. She had almost forgotten that she and Serena had a double date with Louis and his driver again tonight. She stood in shock for a moment, completely unsure of what to do. She looked around wildly, looking for answers. She had been ready to forgive Chuck before the wedding but after all of those mean things he'd said...she wasn't so sure. Chuck took a step closer to her. "Blair, please don't go with him," Chuck said softly. "Please."
"Chuck, how can I be with you? At the beginning of the day, you were prepared to marry another woman. Am I just supposed to run off with you and be your second choice? I can't do that to myself. How do I know you aren't just here because you're lonely and sad about Eva and that all of these things aren't just words to lure me back in, so you can break my heart all over again the next time Eva comes around?"
"Eva won't be coming around," Chuck said. "Ever. I told her that I wouldn't do those things for her and she was angry. She said I was still in love with you and marrying me would have been a mistake. I agreed with her. It would have."
"I don't know what to do, Chuck! I came all the way to Paris to crash your wedding, to tell you that I still love you, and then I heard you telling Nate how happy you were with Eva."
"So that's why you came?" Chuck's voice and facial expression softened. "You came to tell me you wanted to be with me?" Blair nodded and swallowed hard, fighting back tears.
"Blair?" Louis' voice carried up the stairs, as his footsteps sounded.
Blair closed her eyes, a tear escaping down her cheek. Louis knocked on her bedroom door and stepped into the room. He looked confused, suddenly understanding what must have been going on. "Am I interrupting something?" He looked between Chuck and Blair. "Would you like to rain-check on dinner?"
Blair nodded weakly. "I'm sorry, Louis. I've just got a lot going on and I'm not up for it tonight. I'm really sorry."
"It's okay, Blair," Louis said. "I'll call you tomorrow, yes?"
Blair smiled a little and nodded as Louis closed the door. She wiped her eyes and took in a deep breath. She moved past Chuck to sit on her bed. She just needed time to think. A few minutes ago, she was so excited about her date with Louis, to be moving on from Chuck, to finally be happy. But now he was here and that changed everything. She had honestly thought she was never going to see him again after today.
"I said your name at the wedding because it should have been you up there and we both know it," Chuck said, breaking the silence between the two of them.
Blair's heart stopped and she looked up at Chuck. "How do I know you aren't going to hurt me again?"
Chuck crossed the room in a few long strides. He sat down on the bed next to Blair. She inhaled his scent and enjoyed the warmth of his body against hers. "Because the most heart-breaking thing I have ever seen in my life was your face the night you found out about Jenny. And I would never ever want to live through that again. The look on your face was burned into my brain for weeks after that. I couldn't get over it. I will never hurt you again, Blair. I promise. What do I need to do to show you that?"
"Kiss me," Blair whispered.
And he did. He put all of his emotions into that kiss. It was the first time their lips had met in so long. She missed the feeling of his lips moving on hers, soft and gentle, yet passionate and meaningful. From that one kiss, she understood that he really did love her. After all, they had always had their special way of expressing love to one another and it was usually physical. "I love you," Blair whispered to him, gently touching his cheek. "I swear to God, if you say another woman's name at the altar when it comes time for us to marry, I will not handle it as calmly as she did."
"Of course not," Chuck chuckled. "You're Blair Waldorf. And I wouldn't have it any other way."
