Dear Lily,
Things haven't always been easy between us. How could they? You hated me, because I spent every minute I could spare telling you all about my undying love for you, and, of course, asking you out. I'd spent hours telling my friends how one day I was going to win you over. Remus was the only one who believed me, in part. But all of that, those years of chasing you, that was just because of an infatuation, it wasn't love. I fell in love with you when we became friends, when I stopped asking you out, when I got to know you. You were funny and kind, helpful and honest. You pointed out my faults and helped my with Charms homework, any homework, and talked with me by the fire in the evenings. And I loved you for all of it. But, I couldn't tell you I did, because this wasn't infatuated love, this was real love, and I was scared that if I told you, you'd say no, and it'd ruin our friendship.
So I pretended that I didn't love you. I got myself a girlfriend and I fought my feelings for you, trying to replace them with ones for her. But of course that could never work, which was why I kissed you in the snow. You were pissed off with me the following week, because, of course, the circumstances were completely inappropriate. I had a girlfriend. But the feelings for you were still there, though I buried them very deep, and concentrated on my relationship with her. Which, let's face it, was never going to work, not with you around.
So I came back, and we were friends again, and somehow it was easy, despite the fact I wanted us to be more. It was nice, comfy, being able to laugh with you, conduct scrawled conversations over our notes during lessons thanks to the Protean charm, and sit and talk by the fire in the evenings like we used to, about anything and everything. Which was obviously a good thing, because, in the most surreal moment of my life, the girl I loved leaned over and kissed me. And I kissed her back. And things changed. For the better.
It still wasn't easy, being your boyfriend (and isn't being your husband), we still argued almost as much as we had done before over the stupidest stuff, but we got (and still get) through them because I love you, and you love me. In fact, I still love you.
There's a war going on Lils, and it isn't easy, but we'll manage. We'll get through, and then we'll have time to spend with Harry. I guess what I'm trying to say, what the point of this letter is, is to say that I love you, more than quidditch, or practical jokes, or the Marauders. Or, in fact, anything. I may not always have loved you the way I do now, but you and Harry are the most important things to me, and I love you very much.
I love you, Lils.
James
