Carlos stared in the mirror and felt his heart drop. He felt himself start to panic and his mind race out of control, which, really, he was justified. His hair was now turning into fucking feathers. No- No, see, the thing that Carlos really hated was that he wasn't panicking over that so much as the fact of what if Cecil saw. Cecil had always loved Carlos' hair, and now there was less hair and it was turning into feathers around his sideburns. He had arranged an angry mob to attack the local barber just because Carlos had gone and gotten a haircut!

Like, okay, granted Telly had taken off more hair than even Carlos had been comfortable with, but still. He couldn't- He couldn't let Cecil see. Maybe- Maybe he could just pluck them out? Right, just like with eyebrows. Girls did that all the time. He knew he had a pair of tweezers lying around here somewhere… Aha! Examining himself a bit closer, Carlos tilted his head. The feathers were small, like they were just budding on a chick. That was a little insulting.

Placing the tweezers against one of the feathers, Carlos gave a small pull and was immediately hit with such a feeling of wrong he was dropping the tweezers into the sink and stumbling back and what the hell was that? No, right, okay, no tweezers. Just… Just use his fingers to pluck it out- Fuck, he couldn't do it, it hurt, and it felt wrong to pluck them, and it hurt how did girls do it all the time?! Fuck, okay, he could just… He could wear a hat. He had a beanie or something around here and if Cecil asked then he could say it was for science! Yes- Okay. He just- He just had to get to the lab. He had to try and see what Night Vale was doing to him now. Hearing a knock on the door, Carlos flinched. He forgot he'd agreed to get a coffee with Cecil. Okay. Okay okay.

"Just a minute!" Tearing through his apartment, Carlos quickly dug out an outfit, threw his lab coat on, and paused before pulling a hat on as he looked to his fake potted fern where the Secret Police Officer assigned to him was. "Two things. One, don't tell Cecil about the feathers. Two, the hat ban was lifted, right?"

"The hat ban is in effect for two more minutes, Mister the Scientist."

"Thanks, Cathy," Carlos said quickly, keeping his hat in hand. "Two minutes, Cecil! I need to, uh, get- Get a thing! For science!" Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Get a thing for science? I thought you did that yesterday morning!"

"Aha, well, you know. Science!" Kill him.

Somehow - he wasn't sure how - Carlos managed to keep the door shut for two minutes before he had the hat crammed onto his head and was opening the door to Cecil smiling warmly at him. "So, uh, coffee?"

"I already brought you yours, and since we're scheduled for a time anomaly today, I'm not due in for another five hours."

"Oh- Great! That's great!" Five hours. Five hours trying to keep this new feathered mystery underwraps. "I need to go into the lab later today, but, uh, we can- We can walk around town a little bit first, if you want."

"A walk around town sounds fantastic! Have you had your weekly Rico's slice?"

"Not yet. I've been meaning to, but things got busy lately." Which, if Carlos didn't figure out this feather thing soon, it was going to get even worse.

Cecil grinned at him. "Well then why don't we just go now? It'll be fun!"

"I- Yeah. Sure." A quick bite at Rico's wouldn't hurt, after all.

"Great, let's go! Oh, by the way, there's a big sand storm moving in, minus the sand, of course."

"A- What?" Carlos frowned, absently squeezing Cecil's hand back when the man was quick to take it. "So just- Just the wind, then?" That was strange.

"Right. Just the wind."

"Is that normal? For Night Vale weather?"

"Well sure it is. We get a storm like this once every six point three weeks, silly Carlos."

"Really?" Carlos didn't remember getting a wind storm six point three weeks ago. "Huh." Seeing Cecil looking at him, Carlos nervously tugged his hat down. "What?" Cecil stared a moment longer before his smile only grew and he looped their arms together, tugging Carlos along.

"Come on, sweet Carlos." Refusing to admit to himself that he was probably blushing, Carlos relaxed against Cecil and let himself be pulled along and, right. Feathers. Probably just some Night Vale version of 'bird flu'. Right? The moment the two stepped outside, they were assaulted with hurricane-like winds. "It's one of the nicer storms."

"This is nicer?" Carlos tucked himself a little more against Cecil, free hand clutching at his hat so he didn't lose it. "Shouldn't we be finding shelter?"

"What? Don't be ridiculous, silly Carlos. This is nothing!"

"This really doesn't seem like nothing," Carlos huffed, shivering as the winds got stronger for a moment. "Come on. You can stay at the lab until you have to go to the station."

"Alright, right after we get a slice- Oh, Carlos, your hat!" Carlos said some rather colorful words that probably would have had his mother aghast with horror, but Carlos thought they were rather well-used in the moment because his hat was gone.

"Lab! Gotta go right now sorry we'll get pizza later!" Maybe if he ran fast enough Cecil wouldn't notice.

"What- Carlos, what about Rico's?"

"Sorry, Cecil, but I really, really, really have to go right now." He had pulled up his lab coat collar as much as possible as soon as his hat was cruelly ripped away from him by fate, but he didn't count on that lasting very long.

"Carlos!"

Fucking Night Vale.

::

So, okay, maybe it was wrong for Carlos to hide from his boyfriend by using the excuse of science, but he was technically doing science. He just… How did this feather thing start happening, even? "Morning, Carlos. You're here early," Tabitha said behind him. "Hope you had your coffee, then."

"Earlier today. Hey, let me ask you something, are there any diseases or anything where people start sprouting feathers?"

Tabitha thought about it for a moment. "No, not anymore. That one died out about two centuries back."

"Any kind where hair turns into feathers?"

Tabitha laughed. "Now you're just making these things up."

"Ha… ha. Yeah." Oh, no. If a Night Vale scientist said he was making things up then he was well and truly fucked. "So, hey, we have the DNA testing kits still, right?"

"Right. You need one?"

"Yeah… Yeah, Tabitha, I think I do." Maybe he was just jumping to conclusions, but... These kits were meant to find supernatural irregularities in the blood - like what most Night Vale citizens had. Only a few moments passed before the testing kit was set down in front of him.

"Did you find a new sample?" Right. There were two ways to play this and Carlos had long ago realized that keeping secrets in Night Vale didn't end up going well.

"I think there might be something wrong with me, but I'm not sure what." As he spoke, he readied a slide with a drop of his blood. "Don't tell Cecil I'm worried, though. I don't want him to worry."

Tabitha stood beside him now. "...Feathers. Huh. Haven't seen anything like that in a long time."

"You've seen it before, though?" Carlos perked up at once. "What? When? Who?"

"A woman, a long time ago. She reminds me of you a little. She was a vila, and she lived in Night Vale for a while, but she ended up moving away."

"A vila?" Carlos frowned, and… "I haven't heard that word in a while." Not since he heard stories his mother had told him about all the 'mythical' creatures of the world. Vila had been her favorite. "She's not here anymore, then?"

"No, she left, and we never saw her come back." Weird, but it was Night Vale.

"Well, considering Vila are all women, I think we can rule that theory out."

Tabitha shrugged, going back to her own project. "Just telling you what I know, boss."

"Let me know if you remember anything else," Carlos hummed, getting the slide inserted and waiting a few moments for the result that would tell him that he was human with some curse or disease in him and- Oh. Well. Shit. Tabitha only gave him a vague hum, the sound of sparks coming from her work station, but Carlos wasn't particularly focused on it, in that moment.

The kit was telling him he was half human and, well. It was a Night Vale kit. Night Vale was many things, but it didn't lie. So- Shit. That- Shit. Maybe the City Council had altered his DNA in some way when he was asleep? That seemed likely. He would need to research this in depth- Hang on- "Tabitha, didn't I take a sample of myself three months ago?"

"In the cooler, Boss," Tabitha called back. "Had to fight Cecil for it when he saw it, but I won him over by offering pictures of you asleep at your desk."

"Wait- Hang on- You what? He tried to steal DNA samples of me?"

"I think he had an idea for your sixth-month anniversary or something, but like I said, I fought him off," Tabitha waved her hand as if this was no big deal. "He really liked the pictures."

"I'm sure he did," Carlos said, running a hand through his hair- "Ah- Mierda de-!"

"Boss? What's up?" Tabitha blinked up at him in vague concern.

"The feathers- They don't like being touched."

"Your feathers… don't like being touched." Aah, he really was shit out of luck if Tabitha was looking at him oddly.

"No, they don't, and as I tried to calm my hair down a bit…"

"Ah. Well, I wouldn't worry about it. Hey, why didn't you want me to tell Cecil?"

"Because my hair is turning into feathers. My hair, that Cecil adores above everything else. Do you know what that would do to him?"

"Probably give him a new kink." He needed a new intern. Right now. This second. "It's Cecil. He probably already knows, Boss."

"What?! What do you mean he already knows- Hang on, how much longer until his show?"

"Seven minutes and twenty-seven seconds."

"Turn on the radio. If he knows, he won't hesitate to report on this."

Tabitha sighed but got up and turned the radio on before sitting back down and huffing to herself. "You could just ask him, you know."

"But if I ask if he knows, and he doesn't, then I'll have to tell him!"

"He's the Voice of Night Vale," Tabitha sighed. "He knows. He knows everything - especially when it comes to you, Boss. Jeez, you've heard him when you get hurt. Remember the bowling alley? He was just about ready to break down on the air."

"You know, I still don't know exactly how he knows everything- I'll have to ask him later, maybe get a sample from him, he'd be ecstatic I'm focusing my science on him- That's not the point, here!"

"What is the point, here?" Tabitha sounded almost bored by his emotional turmoil. She was too good of a scientist.

Carlos finally sighed, resting his chin in his hands. "What if he doesn't like it?"

"He loves you, doesn't he?" Tabitha finally turned to look at him, giving a bit of a smile. "C'mon, Boss. You know better by now. You've heard all his shows, too."

"But he still might not like it."

"No, but he'll still love you. Stop whining and go talk to him before you ruin the experiments with your emotions. Audrey II looks hungry again."

Sighing as he rose from his seat, Carlos ran a hand through his hair, careful to avoid the new feathers. "You think I should?"

"If it gets you to stop worrying then yes, you should. Besides, it's Cecil. You're perfect to him."

"How soon until the show starts?"

"Four minutes, two seconds. Enough time for a phone call."

"What- You said go talk to him- That's not enough time before his show starts! I can't do this over the phone!"

"Call him, tell him you want to talk after the show, and then stop worrying. That simple!"

"Tell him I want to talk? Won't he worry if I tell him that without any context?"

As answer, Tabitha pointed at the phone, turned her back, and went back to her experiment. "Two minutes, fifty-two seconds." Carlos looked down at the phone, back to the clock, and at the radio.

"Oh, fuck-" Carlos pushed his phone into his pocket and ran out the door. He heard Tabitha laughing behind him, but- This wasn't something he could do over the phone! Carlos had had those types of relationships, and he refused to let his and Cecil's relationship be like that. He could- He could make it. Probably.

Getting to the station, Carlos hurried through the halls to Cecil's room, cursing at the light outside. Of course he was already on the air. He stood in front of the window, waving to get Cecil's attention. It didn't seem to be working, but, well, Carlos wasn't too surprised. Cecil hyper-focused on the news like Carlos did science. Maybe- "I like your feathers, Mister the Scientist. Very neat! You'll have to wait for the weather to talk to Cecil, though."

"Yes, I know, I was hoping he'd wrap it up quickly. I really need to talk to him- You like them?"

"They look really good!" The intern chirped, Carlos trying to figure out if there was an actual chirp in those words. "The weather should start soon. You can wait here and then go in when the lights flicks off. I need to go downtown and sit in on the meeting City Council is giving now."

"Right, yes," he said with a short nod. "Thank you. You should go." The intern left with another bright little grin and Carlos knew without a doubt that Night Vale would deal with them before the weak was out. Some interns left for other jobs or, in Dana's case, became Mayor, but… Interns couldn't last here. Not for so long as Night Vale needed Cecil as her Voice. Carlos watched the light, tapping his foot impatiently and running a hand through his hair again. Why did he have to take so long to get the news out? Oh, Cecil, poor opinionated, rambling Cecil.

It felt like an eternity until the light flicked off, Carlos launching himself at the door and giving a little knock before opening it carefully. As always, he took a moment to appreciate the sight of Cecil in his element. Carlos sighed, watching him before finally clearing his throat. "Cecil?"

"Carlos!" Cecil pushed out his seat a small amount, beaming at him and relaxing. "Are you alright? You rushed off so quickly this morning, I was worried."

"I- Yes, well- I…" Huh. Cecil wasn't saying anything about the feathers in his hair. "That's actually what I'm here to talk to you about. I was trying to hide something from you, but I think you might have already known." Cecil didn't seem to even notice the feathers.

Cecil's head tilted and he always seemed so innocent in moments like these. "Really? What is it? Is it about your hair changing color?"

"No, it's more about the-" Carlos' mouth shut with an audible click followed by a dry swallow. "It's what."

"Oh, don't worry, sweet Carlos, it flatters you, I think. It looks so sophisticated." Sophisticated-

"Am I grey?!" Carlos was already frantically looking around for a mirror before making due with his phone and oh, god. This- Well, it was a good thing his mother wasn't here to hear all his swearing.

"What's wrong, Carlos?" Cecil was looking over his shoulder. "White-gold looks good on you."

"My hair shouldn't look like this at all- Cecil. Cecil, it's not normal for humans to have their hair turning into feathers."

"Well, no, of course not, silly Carlos. That rarely ever happens to humans."

"Yeah…" Carlos swallowed again and remembered the flashing results of the DNA test. "I'm… I'm human, though, Cecil. I'm human." R… Right? Now Cecil was looking at him strangely.

"Half human, sure- Carlos, what is all this about?" Feeling rather unsteady, Carlos took a moment to study his response and think on the differences between fainting and blacking out before he heard laughter and oh- That hysterical laughter was him.

"Fine- It's fine! I just thought I was completely 100% human until I woke up with my hair turned into feathers this morning!"

"You thought-" Cecil cursed. "The weather is ending. You sit here, we'll talk more, I need to get back to it." Cecil drew Carlos close and kissed him gently before pushing him into the chair across from his desk. He sat back down in his regular spot. "Welcome back, listeners, wouldn't you believe it, sweet caring Carlos came to visit me in the station during the weather. Say hello, Carlos."

"Wha- Cecil. You know how unprofessional it is for me to just-" Ah, shit. He was already talking, wasn't he? Sighing, Carlos shook his head. "Hello, Night Vale." Honestly, his boyfriend would never change. At least- At least he could zone out, like this. Listen to Cecil's voice and try to compartmentalize what was going on in his life.

"Oh, you listeners know how shy sweet Carlos is. And has everyone seen his hair? It is so wonderfully perfect- And speaking of perfect, Big Rico's has just released a new topping…"

The show continued on as normal and Carlos allowed himself to relax bit-by-bit, although he was still rather tense, he supposed. Just- If he was half human then that meant one of his parents had to be… not. They were both so normal, though! His dad worked for a software firm and his mother was an interior designer! Cecil seemed to be getting really into whatever bit he was on, maybe he should listen- "-and wouldn't you know it, listeners, that Steve Carlsburg sent me a letter-" Unimportant.

Alright, so it was either his father or his mother, that was the only thing that made sense. His father was… Mm. Okay, so, this had to come from his mother's side of the family. Maybe it was a recessive gene trait- Yes. That could make sense. Well… Cecil did know everything… Maybe he somehow knew something about all of this? Carlos would need to ask him. The show seemed like it was wrapping up, and Cecil had wanted to talk about it so that- That was good. "That's all for now, listeners… Good night, Night Vale."

There was a click and Carlos knew that Cecil was off the air, his shoulders releasing all tension. Carlos couldn't help his small smile. "You were great."

"You weren't listening to a word I was saying. Always in your head, dear Carlos."

"Mm, a little, but I don't need to listen to know you were amazing." Carlos' smile dropped a little, his breath becoming a bit shaky. "So… Half-human." Cecil only gave him a nod.

"You didn't know?"

"Not at all," Carlos sighed. "I didn't- I was never told anything like this."

"Oh, Carlos, come here." Cecil held his arms out to Carlos.

Carlos didn't waste a second to go over to Cecil and collapse against him, crawling into his lap and holding himself close to Cecil and God that was already so much better. "I thought you'd be upset."

"Silly Carlos, why on Earth would I be upset you're a vila?"

"Well, my- Wait." Carlos blinked, stared, closed his eyes for a few moments, stared again, and, nope. Still not making sense. "No- No? I'm not?"

"What do you mean? Of course you are, Carlos."

"I… Vila can only be women?" That- That was how all the stories went, right?

"Well, in most cases, but you're also not a full vila." Cecil smiled at him. "You're Carlos."

That… both helped and did not at all help. Honestly, it was just- "That woman." It… It couldn't be. "I was speaking with Tabitha and- Was there a Vila who lived here in Night Vale?"

"Well sure there was. Let's see… In plain regular years it was probably… Thirty or so years ago she left."

"Huh." Thirty years. It… It'd probably fit. "So, um, is there- Do you know what she looked like, maybe?"

"Like any other Vila, really. She glowed a nice soft white, she always wore white, sometimes she wore a nice royal blue, and her hair was always immaculate."

"Uh huh." Carlos pulled his phone out and quickly went through it before pulling up a picture of his mother and he almost hoped he was wrong. "She look like this?"

Cecil brightened. "Oh, you know Eulalie? How has she been?"

"Good, good. Worries about me. You know how mothers are." Okay. His mother was a vila. Alright. That- That probably could have been mentioned sooner.

"Oh, she's a mother now? How nice for her! She always had wanted to settle down." Ah, right. Socially inept and clueless. Perfect.

"Cecil. She's my mother."

"...Oh." There it was- Oh- Oh, that was nice. Whatever that was.

"Mm. Oh." He just- Why would his mother never tell him even after she knew he was going to Night Vale and- That felt so nice, honestly.

"I'm supposing you're going to talk to her and ask her about all of this? There isn't all that much about being a vila, especially half of one."

"Cecil, my hair is… is made of feathers…" Carlos pressed against Cecil's gentle fingers and wait a minute. "Is that why you were so angry at Telly?"

"A little. And not all of your hair is feathers."

"But- But you're always going on about how my hair is 'perfect.' Shouldn't- I thought you'd be upset about this."

"Oh, pretty sweet Carlos, your hair is perfect."

"But it's… It's made of feathers and now it's all grey and that- That doesn't bother you?" It wasn't like Carlos overly cared about what his partners thought of him, but… Well. He was only human? Ish?

"I told you, it's not all feathers, and it's not going to turn into all feathers, and it's not grey. Grey is so dull. It's moonlight silver, Carlos." Really, it wasn't like Carlos could stop himself from leaning forward to kiss Cecil after that. Cecil chuckled against him, kissing him back. "It really is lovely, Carlos."

"Oh, well- Good. That- Yeah." And, alright, this was- Well. It was Night Vale. Carlos would adjust.