Author: This is an alternate take of 'Battlefield Angel' (and 'Memories of the North' by extension) I've been thinking for a while. I don't know if it's a good idea so I just made a short chapter. I'll probably won't continue it if I decided a sequel is a better idea.


On some nights, I would always have the same dream. It was a horrible dream. I don't want to see it night by night, but it won't stop haunting me. All I could see was darkness. It was one cold rainy night. I was alone...in the middle of the ocean. All I could remember was that I was looking for...someone.

"..."

I was reaching for someone. It was a woman whose face I can't clearly identify. She felt so familiar to me, but I can't remember who she is. What's puzzles me is how that person kept shouting...my name? By instinct, I knew it was my name.

I...don't want to be alone...again...

That's what I thought when my final moments came. It really felt so cold. Ironically, my life was colder than my death.

Don't leave me...alone...again...

There was no one there. I was just left alone like before. And like before, I died alone. For some reason, loneliness didn't bother me. It was as if O have gotten so used to it...I just stopped caring. I just stopped caring about my own feelings.

Aaah. I'm sinking, huh. So this is what it feels like to die. This isn't so bad...compared to my life...

I remembered sinking. I remembered helplessly falling into the bottom of the ocean. I couldn't move my body, but I tried to reach out for the surface with the little strength I had.

This is fine. After all...loneliness is a fate...worse than death...

I couldn't understand why death barely bothered me that day. All I remember was when I sunk I just came to accept I was dying and there's no changing it.

If I could come back...I want to be who I was once...again...

With the inevitable sinking, I closed my eyes and embraced my fate. I still couldn't remember why I felt little back in the past. It's like I was a completely different person.

You can't run away from who you truly are, Tirpitz!

A pale white being that strongly resembles me emerged out of crimson waters. Even with her restraints, she pinned me down on the surface water and strangle me with both of her hands. Her blazing red eyes looked at me straight in the eye with little to no emotion. She looked so much like me it is as if I'm looking at myself.

I won't let you...remember the person...who did this!

I tried to struggle, but her grip is just to firm and tight. Her steel like grip squeezed my throat, cutting off my breath with every second. I kept gasping for air and my body kept twitching, but it was futile in the end.

It was her fault...you sunk...Tirpitz!

This entity. She was filled with so much anger and resentment towards someone it echoed inside my heart. This being couldn't feel anything other than the intense emotions of revenge. In an instant, I knew this being only wanted destruction and nothing else.

It was all her fault. She abandoned you!"

I could nearly breath with how much force she's using to strangle me. I can feel my consciousness fading away. Before the last breath escaped, I woke up gasping for air. My first action is to feel my neck since being strangled even in the dream felt so real. There were no signs of being strangled, but my heart is still racing.

"That dream again, huh..."

I wiped off the cold sweat in my forehead and my hand...gently pressed on my chest. I have to admit that dream scared me...compared to my previous dreams.

"That woman. I wonder who was she?"

Rather than the white being that looked so much like me, I thought about the blonde woman whose face I don't recognize. Even so, she looked so familiar I can't deny I knew her. I don't remember much about my past, but I do know I was one of the Kriegsmarine.

"There's no time to think about it. I have work to do"

Seeing the time, I brushed off my dream and got up to start my everyday work...as an admiral. Like everyday, Nagato would be always the first one to greet me...with a cup of coffee.

"It looked like you had a had dream?" Nagato noticed...again

"I dreamed about the sea again"

"You keep having dreams about it. Maybe you should consult a doctor, admiral"

Nagato may be strict to me sometimes, but I find her caring side a bit adorable. She has this tough and sturdy exterior, but I never thought she would be soft in the inside. Like a baguette.

"It's not much of a big deal. It probably just have something to do with...past experience"

Past experience, huh. While I do know I spent a large portion of my career in Norway, it felt like something is missing. I keep seeing this people who I don't recognize in my dream, specially this blonde woman whom I felt like is very dear to me.

(Just who am I really?)

I questioned myself about my own identity even if I know I'm Tirpitz, second of the Bismarck class battleships. I spent so much time alone in the North that my memory...had so many missing pieces. Ignoring these thoughts, I shook my head and decided to focus on my worm.

"Anyhow, they will be sending a Royal navy battleship in two days. They didn't specifically say who...for some reason. Did the headquarters sent an update?"

"Yes. Further details about the shipgirl and a letter"

Nagato slipped a document on my desk. I picked it up while my other hands is holding the coffee. My eyes move with every sentence I read while my mouth is busy with the cup of coffee.

"...?!"

Out of shock, I accidentally spat out my coffee much to Nagato's shock as well. It was my sudden response upon learning it's Warspite herself. It's not s dream - this is reality!

"Admiral?!"

"I-It's nothing. I was just surprise to know who they are transferring here"

Upon seeing that particular name, I couldn't help but feel instantly shock. I even spat out the fresh cup of coffee Nagato made.

"The veteran battleship Warspite? Even though she was initially planned to be transferred to a different naval base, she requested to be transferred in this naval base instead"

(The damn old lady!)

I don't have to be a genius to know that Warspite did this on purpose. She knew I'm the admiral of this base so she requested to be transferred here out of all the naval bases out there. That woman just likes playing games

"She even wrote a letter addressed to you" Nagato handed over the envelope

"A letter?"

Curious, I quickly opened the envelope rather than think how "fancy" she made a simple letter into. Of course I didn't just tear it off like a rabid animal. I slowly peeled it off...patiently.

Dear Admiral Schwarze,

I'm certain you are aware of my arrival in a few days.

Not just me, but those girls from that country.

Worry not, they have still yet to know the truth.

Though I'm curious how she will react upon seeing you.

Do not worry, I wouldn't directly interfere unless necessary.

I sincerely wish there wouldn't be any trouble with them.

I can't wait for the two of us to meet again.

I hope you will welcome me in your fleet, my dear admiral.

Let's have an afternoon tea like the old days once I arrive.

Sincerely,

Your acquaintance

I felt like crumpling the paper, but that would be rude so I took a deep breath and folded it back before returning it inside the envelope.

"Admiral, is there something wrong?"

"I am so going to have a long talk with that old lady..."

My fingers interlocked with each other as I thought about how Warspite is probably laughing at this joke of hers. She's one of the few people whose mind I could never read. I just don't know what's going on inside her head.

"Do you happen to know Warspite, admiral?"

"Well...it's a bit complicated"

My feelings towards that noble lady is a bit complicated. I don't like letting my guard down when I'm with her since I just don't know what she's thinking.

"It was a long time ago...so there's that. We just had a bit of a past..."

"A past?"

"That's right. Warspite and I...had a bit of complicated relationship. You'll know once you meet her"

I laughed at how she even used her coat of arms as a stamp. She really wanted to instantly let me know she wrote the letter even before opening it. That woman just really likes teasing me. Well, I guess I just have to talk to her once she arrives.