Edward is a pill popper.
Okay me and a friend wrote this based off of one of her friends.
Disclaimer: Gothie doesn't own anything. 'Cept the story line.
This is a collab with: Dead Chick Walking (swear words and insults all her idea)
Edward: Hey, who the hell are you people?
Bella: What're you talking bout Edward?
Edward: Who the hell is Edward? My name is Jeremy! Jeremy Martin, and I'm a werewolf.
Bella: The name's Bella. Edward is my vampire boytoy.
Edward: Well...vamps suck. And smell like three day old dog shit. I'm a werewolf, yo. A sexy sexy sexy werewolf sex-god. Are you one of my hos? Yo?
Bella: No, but you're one of mine.
Edward/like Paris Hilton (The Slut)\ That's hawt. So...who the hell are you again?
Bella: I'm the girl who does the drug tests around here.
Edward: Oh shit! I should go find Edward, cause I saw him poppin pills in the bathroom, man.
Bella: Duuuuude...That's so not hawt.
Edward: You don't do it right Girlfriend. /does the triple snap\
Bella: Oh yeah you--
Alice: Um...Edward, are you ok? I had a weird vision...
Jasper: Why does it feel like you're high?
Edward: wtf.
Bella: Guys/wink\ This is Jeremy.../wink wink\ He's a sex-god werewolf and my new boytoy ho.
Alice: Just like Mike?
Bella: Tchyah.
Edward: The ho are coming the hos ate something.
Jasper: Um...?
Bella: Ed-I mean Jeremy, what exactly are you on?
Edward: I ain't on nuttin! You said drugs aren't hawt.../stands up to leave\
Bella: Where are you going?
Edward: I gotta find Edward to tell him to get away 'for the drug test.
Alice: Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean...you're a werewolf, what makes you think he'll listen to you?
/Jasper and Bella exchange looks and burst into giggle fits\
Edward: You know what? Bitch please. /like Chris Crocker\
Alice/pulls out camcorder as Edward walks away\ Got the whole thing on tape.
THE NEXT DAY
Bella: on computer Alice, Jasper, c'mere! they come
Alice: OMG!!! 400 Youtube comments?
Jasper: Jeez oh my god is that from Edward??
Edward's Comment
What the hell, did you guys do? You taped me while I was on the pills? And oh, my god...BELLA I DON'T DO DRUGS ESME GAVE THEM TO ME!!! She said they would help me sleep.
Bella's reply to comment
You can't sleep idiot. And I don't date drug addicts...oh Jaaaaaaacob...
Edward's reply
That's soooo not hawt. Jeez Bella, I love you! Don't leave me for the mutt! It was my first time I swear!!
Bella
I have proof of others.
Edward
What? Oh my GAWD!!!! How many vids did you upload on here? Do you even know how wrong it is to put that stuff up on the internet??? Besides, Jasper is way worse than me...
Alice and Bella
But Jasper's H.A.W.T. He's bringing sexy back.
back in Bella's room
Alice: So what exactly have you done?
Jasper: It doesn't matter...I'm bringing sexy back, hos!!
Bella and Alice: HELL YEAH
DCW: I swear we were not on drugs. Shelby, this is dedicated to you, I will never forget when you were Jeremy for half an hour. Cause you know what? Jeremy is hawt.
GR24: This is also to my bff making fun of some old crushes send this to Jeremy at school who will never bring sexy back. I wasn't on drugs! (I DON'T DO DRUGS NO MATTER WHAT ANIKA AND HEATHER MAYBE LEE SAYS I NEVER TOUCH THE STUFFRUNS AWAY)
DCW: By the way, we really don't care about your stupid flames, if you have nothing better to do in your pathetic life than say that a oneshot done for fun is whiny voice 'Out of Character' then you really need to get a boyfriend/girlfriend or just a friend! Or you can shoot yourself, the latter is preferred. Reviews are loved however.
GR24 DCW: So long!
p.s. this fic doesn't promote drug use youtube or suicide...or bringing sexy back. Only Jasper can do that.
