It was passed midnight when Dean made It back to the motel where he and Sam were staying for the moment. A couple hours ago he and his little brother had been in a fight again. Dean signed, he was so tired of this. He just didn't get why Sammy was so mad at him. Didn't he understand that he did it for them both and not just for himself? He opened the door to his room and the smell of alcohol hit his nose drums.

The next thing he notice was Sam who sat on a chair with his eyes closed. ''Sam?'' Dean's voice echoed through the room . Sam opened his eyes for a second before closing it again. He groaned.

''To bright.'' He whispered. Dean crocked his eyebrow but before he could answer Sam started to chuckle. ''The stars are screaming out for us De.'' Sam grasped Dean's hand and hold on to it.

''What are you talking about bro?'' Silence. ''Are you drunk, Sam?'' Another chuckle. ''Sam?''

''A little.'' Sam smiled his hundred watt smile. ''Or maybe a lot. I don't remember.'' Without warning he stood right up. ''Dean your my favorite brother you know that right?'' When no answer came Sam looked at Dean with big puppy eyes. ''Dean? What's the matter Dean? Don't you like me anymore?''

Dean just shook his head. ''Come on big guy it's time for bed.'' For a moment he hoped Sam actual would stand up and get to bed. But his hope was crushed when Sam told him no. And again Dean asked himself when the time had come that Sam didn't even listed to him.

Sam toke both of Dean's hands in his hands. ''I'm so sorry De.'' His voice cracked softly. ''Don't hate me please.'' And almost he looked scared as shit. ''I never meant it you know that right?''

''You didn't mean what Sam?'' It was full with rage. ''The part where you said you never would save me or the part that you hated me? 'Cause it sounded to me like you meant it.''

A tear and a shake. ''No no no no De..'' he cried out. ''I never explained it.. but I was ready.'' He smiled happy at his big brother. ''I was ready Dee. I wanted to die.'' Silence. ''He promised.''

''Who promised what?'' Sam looked at him like he was stupid.

''Death of course.'' He swallowed difficult. ''Death had promised that I would be dead for real this time. That no one could get me back.'' He smiled at Dean like it was de best thing ever happened to him. ''That way no one would get hurt by my hands again.''

This time it was Dean who had to swallow. He never expected this. Somewhere he hoped that Sam would lash out, would tell the reason why he was so mad. But he never imaged this.

Sam's smile disappeared for the sun. ''But you kept me alive and now Kevin is dead.'' And it was his fault. ''You should have killed me when dad said so.'' Maybe then everybody would still be alive.

''Sammy..''

''No listen.. I lied..'' Sam begged Dean with his eyes to listen. ''When I said that I wouldn't do everything to keep you alive. I would, but when you die.. I will miss you like hell Dee, but I wouldn't get you back.'' He gave Dean this sad look. ''Because you would see mom, dad, Bobby and everyone we left again. You will get the rest and the happy life you always deserved.''

''But I wouldn't have you by my side.''

''You don't need me De.'' The words where filled with a sadness. ''I want you to have the peace upstairs rather than living the hell here downstairs.'' Even if it means I can't have you anymore.

''Come one big guy it's time for bed.'' Dean tried again so this wouldn't end up in a big chick flick. When Sam is sober again they would have this talk, but now? Dean will find his peace in what was already said.