Memories
PROLOGUE
Tris
When I was shot, I thought it was all over. I did what I had to do. I saved Chicago and the rest of the United States. My mother lifted me up into the sky with her and now, genetically damaged people are equal to genetically pure people. They're free.
After the two bullets entered my body and I pressed the green button, which released the memory serum virus, my first thought was that I accomplished my single task. My last thought was of him.
CHAPTER 1
Tris
It seems like forever that my mom holds me in an embrace. When she finally pulls back, tears stain her cheeks, and she smiles.
'I'm so proud of you,' she says, sniffling.
I smile back at her, but she can tell that the smile hasn't reached my eyes, because her smile slowly drops.
'But I think you want to live. And I don't think it's time for you to stay here forever.' she says slowly.
It's the first time since I've come up that I notice the space that encircles me. I look down. Are we standing on – clouds? And then I look up. It's bright blue. We're in the sky. Ahead of me there is a crystal staircase, leading up to Heaven, I think. But after everything I've done, why am I here? I've committed terrible crimes, and my faith in God isn't even established. I guess it is now.
'Why am I here?' I finally ask, 'after everything I've done?' I look up into my mother's pale green eyes.
'Because,' she pauses, 'God is forgiving. Before you died, you sacrificed yourself for the greater good.' That's something David used to say, but he didn't really understand the true meaning. 'And you saved your brother from a terrible fate. You may have killed or betrayed people before, but it's what you do after that that counts. You rebuilt yourself into a strong, independent woman.' she says, smiling again.' I feel a twinge of pain as she says betray, because I remember when I betrayed Tobias and worked with his father. I hug her and hold her familiar body close to me. I know what she's about to offer. After a while, I pull away.
'So I'm giving you a choice. You can either come up those stairs with me and stay in Heaven,' she turns and points to the beautiful staircase, 'Or you can go back down to Earth.'
Surprisingly, I know what I'm going to say immediately. She sees my eyes perk up, but for her sake I act like I'm having a hard time deciding. I scratch the back of my neck to emphasize the gesture.
I'm surprised by how long my hair has gotten. It's as long as it was when I first joined Dauntless. When I cut it, I secretly regretted it, because I took part of myself away from me. Now being a warrior sickens me.
'Oh come on, I know you want to go back down, don't stay here for me. Please. I just want you to be happy.' she says, snapping me out of my daze. 'Tobias needs you. He really does.' she says.
'Okay…' I say, 'Can I go back down?'
'Of course.' She says, running her fingers through my dull blonde hair with a melancholic smile.
We hug for God knows how long and then she takes a deep breath. As she kisses my cheek, she whispers, 'I love you.'
'I love you too.' I say.
I take one long, last look at her beautiful face before I fall down, because I won't see her for a long time, and I need her image engraved in my mind.
I fall through the clouds, towards rushing black water, which I think is supposed to be Lake Michigan restored with water. Expecting the terrible impact, I wake up with a jolt.
Tobias
I stand in my bathroom in the Abnegation sector and slide the panel that covers the mirror. My hair is short now; I cut it a couple of hours ago. My eyes are swollen and bloodshot. I couldn't sleep last night. Tris died barely two days ago. She died and I feel isolated and lonely. She sacrificed herself for Caleb – why? That coward led her to her own execution in Erudite headquarters.
I stare at myself, one fist clenched and the other wrapped around a vial of serum. Memory serum. I want to forget. Forget everything that happened, even if it means losing my memories of her. I can't heal – I won't heal.
I have no one. I have no parents, Zeke hates me for what happened to Uriah and I can't stand to face Christina or Cara who were so close to Tris. Everything reminds me of her. The birds that whistle in the morning, the golden glow of the sunset, the brisk wind. Everywhere I go, my memories of her replay in my mind, coming with such pain I want it to end.
I don't care if this isn't what she would've wanted. This is my decision this time. I slowly lift the vial to my mouth and tip it down.
Then I hear a knock. I set the vial on the cabinet. I look through the small window overlooking the front of the small, grey Abnegation house and see Zeke standing there, bouncing on his toes from the cold. He senses my gaze and looks up. Our eyes meet for a brief moment and then I look away. I don't want to talk to him, not now. I will when I'm a new person, and he can give me a second chance.
I hear the door break open.
'Damn it!' I say and go back to the sink. My heart is pounding. I pick up the rounded vial. I feel every vein in my body throbbing with anticipation. Footsteps. I look towards the closed door.
'Concentrate.' I mutter under my breath. The door opens and I poor the white liquid down my throat.
'What are you doing, man?!' Zeke screams, eyeing the vial. He runs towards me and grabs me by the shoulders. My vision is going blurry and the corners of my eyes have black dots in them. I fall to the floor against the sink, losing consciousness. My sensations are leaving me.
'Look at me! Look at me Tobias!' he screams at me, though all I hear is a faint whisper. 'Stay with me! Come on!'
'Goodbye…' is all I can say as I trail off.
Then it's all black.
